~Kuroshitsuji: Poem for a demon~
~Merry Christmas Starla!~
AU: Only just realised I'd finished this ages ago on DA but forgot to post it on here XD haha
Well, enjoy! x
Ciel had stepped into this dream before. This never-ending nightmare. It had happened and it had been real and that fateful night repeated itself over and over in his mind. His mind that seemed to hate him for whatever reason.
He could still feel the way his flesh burnt, his wounds cut so deep they might never heal and the way hands touched him in such ways a child should never suffer. But he was suffering. He suffered every night.
And every night, he was struggling to wake up.
'No! NO!' He heard his own small voice call out, again and again, so much weaker than he could remember. He never wanted to be like this again and he tried to awaken himself. He didn't want to see what these people were doing to him.
He tried to get rid of the images. It was as if he was watching the whole thing happen from within a little bubble. He thrashed about and shut his eyes tight to stop the images, but soon, he felt those fingers on him and he knew he was no longer just watching the events.
'It's a dream! Wake up fool!' Ciel gritted his teeth and he felt nails dig into sensitive skin and his wrist bent at such an angle, it threatened to snap.
'How…how have I woken up before! S-'
Before the word passed his lips, it was gone, along with the feeling of hands groping and unwanted touches.
His eyes flickered open as he felt something anew hit his skin: Ice.
Cold snow.
He looked around and at first, he didn't recognise the winter surroundings. He stood up from his curled up position, gazing around him. Everything was cold. Death and Ice.
He looked to his side and curiously reached out a tentative hand to clasp around a perfectly frozen rose. But as soon as his fingertips clasped the petals, it seemed to shatter in his palm.
So fragile.
Ciel gasped again and looked around, finally recognising the place.
His home. His family home. So cold and forgotten and so…dead.
He stumbled forward, his feet not working as the cold chilled him deep to his bone. It was painful to walk. He fell forward after only a couple of steps and landed on his hands and knees, looking around.
Voices.
'Despicable.'
'Filth.'
'Unloved.'
'SHUT UP!' Ciel covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes, willing himself not to cry, even if it was a dream.
Ciel couldn't block out the sounds and he was slowly rocking back and forth, telling himself over and over again it was a dream.
'How did I wake up? Think!' Ciel commanded himself and it took him a few seconds before he remembered.
"Sebastian!" Ciel sprung forward into the sitting position as he awoke.
He gasped for breath and tried to control his beating heart as he searched around the darkness.
'Darkness?' No, this wasn't right. Sebastian had always been there when Ciel woke up, clutching a single candle and offering a small glass of water along with a dampened towel for the sweat.
"Seb-Sebastian?" Ciel called out a little louder, looking around his room, slightly panicked. He closed his eyes and took a couple more deep breaths, holding his hands over his eyes and wiping away the sweat.
"What-Blood?" Ciel looked down at his hands, just making out dark patches on his hands. It was how they had appeared in the dream when the rose petals shattered into the tender skin.
His heartbeat sped up again and he made a quick decision. He wasn't going to wait and clambered out of his bed in just his night-shirt.
Ciel would have never gone to Sebastian under any circumstances. But right now, he was terrified. And if Sebastian wasn't here already after Ciel called for him, then something was wrong.
He grabbed at the nearest lamp on his table and scrambled around for the matches Sebastian had kept there en case of an emergency.
Ciel, barefoot, opened his door and slowly padded out into his hall. It wasn't cold, but it was so quiet. He looked both ways as his feet seemed routed to the spot, afraid to go anyway. He'd never had to come out of his bed in the middle of the night before. Sebastian had always been right there for him. But now he wasn't.
Ciel straightened himself up and stuck out his chin (though he knew no one could see).
'You're a Phantomhive, act like it!'
Ciel prodded heavily forward three steps before stopping.
"…It would help if I knew what room was his." He said to himself in the darkness and scolded himself for not going through his mansion more often.
'Remember Bocchan…I'm never that far from you.'
The words echoed in his mind, the little speech Sebastian had always said to him. Although, when he said that, Ciel had always questioned how Sebastian had been so ready and quick to come to him when Ciel needed him.
Ciel shut his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling something pull him deep within.
When his eyes opened again, he found himself walking along, almost confidently down his dark hallway, looking at the doorways that he went past.
He turned a left and went down a flight of stairs that he didn't recognise, realising just how big his home actually was.
'I seriously should consider giving myself a tour…even if it is the servants quarters I'm looking for.'
He stopped in front of a doorway, a plain, black-ish, brown-ish entrance to what he no suspected was Sebastian' room.
He held up his hand in a fist and stopped himself.
"What am I doing…he is always reminding me of my manners," Ciel' fist came down and he pouted, "although he really should be here…oh hell, I'm the master here!"
Ciel' hand gripped the handle and pulled it down, pleased with himself in finding the door unlocked.
The pleasure soon turned to panic as a sudden whoosh of force pushed the door wide open and something flew out at Ciel. He could only make out black and the feel of feathers against his skin, as if hundreds of birds where flocking around him.
He shut his eyes, covering his face and battering away, dropping the candle and letting the darkness come forth.
Ciel shouted and cursed, throwing his hands up to his face as he felt claws dig in. Then he remembered where he was, and he called out to the one person who should hear him.
"Sebastian! Sebastian! I command you-Ah!" Ciel fell to the floor, landing on his stomach as he lost his footing. The birds had seemed to mutate into claws as well as hands, grabbing at him and pulling him roughly about.
"Sebastian!" Ciel cried over and over again, covering the back of his head with his hands, burying his face into the carpet.
A hand reached out and grabbed a chunk of his hair, pulling his head violently back and baring his throat to the creatures. Fear and past memories flooded his mind and Ciel began to cry as if he was a child again. He was losing himself and he was scared.
"Sebastian! PLEASE! SEBASTIAN HELP ME!" He called out, trying to pull away, thrashing about, but his body began to weaken. Something black covered his face and although he could still hear himself crying out, it was as if the darkness was ebbing it's way down his throat and into his lungs.
"SEBASTIAN!" Over and over again, he repeated the name, along with pleas of help, but it felt so long that he felt like crying all the more.
'Not coming. Alone.' A voice of doubt whispered in his ear and Ciel felt a sickening pain flood his stomach, like something clawing to get out.
The young male wept and cried, feeling like he had done all those years ago.
He was giving up. He knew, now being a demon, he was likely to never die, but he didn't care. He wanted to give up.
'Bocchan.'
A soft voice broke through the darkness and Ciel almost missed it completely, thinking it nothing more than a passing whisper he'd heard throughout the thousands the darkness seemed to emit.
'Bocchan, awaken.'
Ciel lifted his head and squinted, the pain numbing slightly as he struggled to listen.
"Sebas-Sebastian." Ciel struggled to exhale, feeling himself slowly suffocating.
'Ciel. Wake up.'
Ciel took a deep breath in and seemed to push himself to a certain limit that made the entire place around him crack and propel him as if the image had suddenly broken around him, causing him to shut his eyes tight.
Ciel' eyes forced themselves open before he could properly collect his thoughts and he struggled for air. His vision focused and he saw Sebastian in front of him, his small smile gentle but his eyes filled with relief.
Ciel could feel a warmth against his cheek and realised that was what had roused him. Sebastian' touch.
Ciel sat up, something over taking him and he grabbed onto a surprised Sebastian, the butler looking stunned.
He felt the younger male shudder before crying, something that DEFINETELY surprised Sebastian.
He knew the boy to be cold, callous and calculating when he wanted to be, and a little bit of warmth showing itself every know and again, but he never expected to see this side of Ciel again. Not the small, vulnerable and shaking boy he'd watched captured, all those years ago. He'd waited until the fear and terror had turned into pure hate and anger before he'd stepped in.
He was interrupted in his reminiscing when Ciel spoke, Sebastian only just catching the small words.
"You weren't there." Ciel cried into Sebastian' collar, thinking that his words would be muffled in the fabric. He suddenly felt a small rumble from Sebastian' chest and arms come around him, holding him close.
"You-you weren't there!" He pulled back slightly and wheezed, his chest feeling slightly tight as he clung to Sebastian desperately.
Sebastian smiled as he gazed down at the child. Still a child. Even after all these years, he'd grown up in body slightly, he still resembled that little boy Sebastian had once met.
"It was a dream. You were having a nightmare Bocchan and you must have set off your asthma in your sleep." Sebastian pulled back and held the boys face in his hands, preparing himself for his next move.
"But-but you weren't-" Ciel' hiccupped words were cut off as Lips pressed gently against his.
Initially shocked, his first reaction was to pull away, but the hand on the back of his head kept him in place and he gasped at the small nip of teeth against his lower lip. This allowed Sebastian the right access for what he was ready to do. His warm tongue slipped inside Ciel' and carefully began to probe and massage the other', urging Ciel on.
The younger male blushed and his heart beat madly, but he forced himself to breath through his nose and focus on the pleasurable feel of Sebastian' tongue in his own mouth.
Ciel, not having much experience with this sort of thing, tried to copy Sebastian' moves, hoping he was doing it right and not making himself look a fool to his own butler.
Sebastian sensed Ciel' slight distress and sensing his thoughts, decided to make the boys almost incoherent.
His other hand came down and to the bottom of his nightshirt, his gloved fingertips pushing past the fabric and smoothing over Ciel skin.
Ciel couldn't believe it. His mind had forgotten whatever it was he was focused on and instantly went 'Hand! Your butler' hand is doing…things to you!'
But he didn't protest. He just kissed Sebastian the best he could, feeling the hand go over his stomach and chest, one finger brushing over a hardened nipple and eliciting a small gasp from Ciel.
"Sebastian…you-you called me Ciel." Ciel suddenly said, feeling the need for conversation to break the tension that might occur.
Sebastian' ministrations stopped and the demon frowned, although inwardly, he had wicked thoughts.
"I apologise Bocchan, it shan't happen again." He bowed his head and let go, appearing to move away and stop whatever it was he was doing.
Ciel instantly grabbed him and held his hand in place underneath his shirt.
"I comm-I…I…don't leave. I…I want you to say my name again." Ciel bit his bottom lip and if possible, blushed even redder than before.
Sebastian just smiled ruthlessly.
"Does Bocchan command it?"
Ciel looked to the side, pouting at his butler' little teasing game.
"I-I'm asking…please." He frowned, never realising how he seldom spoke that one simple word.
"Very well…Ciel." Sebastian leaned forward and captured the male' lip with his own, pulling his gloves off and slowly enjoying they're little 'game'.
His bare fingertips now brushed up against Ciel' skin and the boy arched into the touch.
Smooth finger pads against smooth, pale flesh.
The gentle, teasing kiss was a mere distraction for Ciel as Sebastian slowly worked his way along the body, feeling and caressing the areas he'd longed to touch.
He smoothed over the skin of Ciel' backside and hips, feeling the boy gently begin to thrust against him.
The fingers came up and around, caressing Ciel' neck, feeling the Adams apple bob up and down as Ciel took in deep breaths and gathered saliva in his mouth, swapping it with Sebastian'.
Finally, and tentatively slowly, Sebastian' hand came down to caress the skin on Ciel' inner thigh, causing the boy to pull away.
"Seb-Sebastian." He huffed and looked down, his eyes going wide and his blush fierce as Sebastian continued his journey.
The butler merely smiled and watched Ciel all the time, he hand going further under his nightshirt and disappearing as he found his target.
"My Bocchan, so easily excited." He grasped the younger males erection in his hand and smiled that damn smile that made Ciel pout. But Ciel' pouting didn't quite work when he moaned at Sebastian' slow and careful massaging to his hard organ.
Ciel cried out as another squeeze was given and he shut his eyes tightly, just feeling the wonderful pleasure being inflicted upon him.
Sebastian helped Ciel off with his nightshirt, chuckling as Ciel shuddered as the garment was lost.
"Cold Bocchan?"
Ciel shook his head and was lost for words, letting out small moans as his fingers dug into Sebastian' shoulders.
Sebastian just smiled to himself and allowed his other hand to wind down the boys hip and around to his target.
Ciel gasped when he felt fingers gently probe his entrance, feeling both exhilarated at where this was going, and a little terrified and knowing what was going to happen.
Ciel' head went back and he seemed to stop breathing as two fingers gently pushed inside, almost tenderly as they began to stretch and scissor inside of him. He shivered as he felt his weight shifted and he was laid back down onto the bed, the gravity pull allowing him to move his hips slowly to accommodate the feeling of foreign objects inside of him.
Ciel' hands left Sebastian's shoulders, gripping the bed sheets beneath him and twisting them in his palms as he grew accommodated to the feeling of Sebastian preparing him.
Then it happened.
With a small shout, Ciel arched upwards as a tiny press with Sebastian' fingers located what he had been searching for inside the young man.
Sebastian merely smiled down and gently began to massage over the spot as a third finger joined, rendering Ciel to a gasping mess before him.
"Seb-Sebastian…it feels-so weird-ah-stop!" Ciel threw his arm over his face, covering his embarrassment as Sebastian relentlessly stroked and massaged that spot within him that he had never known was there (if he had done, he would have probably let Sebastian do this a lot sooner).
Sebastian carefully moved his appendages inside of Ciel a couple more times, admiring the way the boy called out beneath him and how the weeping member ached for attention, before carefully pulling out and preparing himself.
Ciel' almost whimpered in loss at the withdrawal, but opening his eyes to the sound of fabric rustling, felt his heartbeat quickly at the sight before him.
Sebastian knelt up in front of him on the bed, and was already half undressed (Ciel blamed some demonic magic as the culprit) as he worked on his trousers. Ciel' eyes didn't know where to look first. The fingers that had only moments ago (it felt like) been inside of Ciel' entrance that worked upon the buttons at the front of Sebastian' trousers, the finely formed torso that revealed perfect pale skin (with miraculously no scars) or the face with the mouth parted slightly in a small smile but the eyes burning into Ciel with an emotion he knew, but had never seen on his butler.
Eventually, Ciel' gazes wandered down and he held in a very feminine squeak as Sebastian' own hardened erection was realised from the bounds of the fabric and he slid his trousers down slender hips.
Ciel looked away quickly, and fearing this might be a hazardous decision, gazed back at Sebastian' eyes, looking for reason. For some reason, it seemed more difficult to look into the burning gaze know than it had been before.
'Sebastian is going to put-…there's going to be a-…Sebastian will be inside of me.'
Somehow, the thought of having Sebastian touching him, on top of him and within him, made Ciel' breathing difficult and he let out an audible moan, followed by the call of his butler' name, lustfully.
"Sebastian."
Sebastian lost his control. He'd been managing to control himself for all this time, but the appearance of his master, dishevelled and wanting him was beginning to bring about something dark within him. The call of his name had him completely unravelled. A deep growl emitted from the back of his throat and he crawled forward, placing himself directly above Ciel' weeping head.
His head dipped lower than Ciel had thought and the young man wandered what was occurring. It wasn't until he felt a little nip at his thigh did he let out a small squeak of pleasure (though he would later attempt to cover it as pain).
Sebastian eyed the spot he had bitten and smirked to himself. The little rivulets of red began to travel downwards and his tongue came out and licked them up before they hit the sheets, his hands holding down the mans legs to stop him struggling away.
Ciel knew he had been bitten. He also knew Sebastian well enough to realise that it wasn't sweat he was licking off of his thigh. However, the realisation of the thought of Sebastian drinking his blood from such an intimate error made Ciel keep his mouth shut and he gripped the bed sheets tighter in his fists.
Sebastian pushed himself upwards and licked his lips clean of the evidence, a motion that Ciel had noticed.
He crept easily upwards until his face was level with Ciel'.
"You're readily prepared Bocchan. Concentrate on your breathing please and relax."
Ciel' felt arms loop his waist and back and he automatically gripped onto Sebastian' shoulders for support as he was carefully hoisted upwards and planted firmly on Sebastian' lap.
He froze almost instantly when he realised his entrance was pressed against the head of Sebastian' erection, which was now slowly slipping inside of Ciel.
Sebastian had sneakily used a lubricant he'd hidden in the bedroom (encase the opportunity to use it should ever arrive) and his member slowly slid past the tight ring it was pressed against.
Sebastian knew the slower he went, the more painful it would be and carefully, pushed in the rest of the way until he was at the hilt. He pulled Ciel when the young male cried out and allowed him to grip tightly onto his shoulders, digging the nails into the flesh there.
Sebastian waited for a while, rocking Ciel gently back and forth as he held him, nibbling on his master' ear for encouragement before gently grinding his hips and inching in and out of the male.
As Ciel gasped on top of him and gripped tightly on Sebastian, the butler' free hand came forward between them and began to slowly massage one of Ciel' nipples, perking it to attention until it was rubbed red and Ciel moaned against the sensation.
"I'm here Bocchan…I'm here…Ciel."
"Ah-I-Ah! AH! Sebastian!" Ciel cried all the more, tears spilling out of his eyes at the feelings he could no longer ignore. The feelings he no longer wanted to ignore. The burn in his chest. The pleasure in his body. The old memories pushing down to be taken over by one thing: HIM. The one man pushing against him and within him and with him. Ciel' hips began to move on their own, pushing and pulling along with Sebastian' to better the motion and flow.
It was almost perfect, but not quite enough.
"Seb-Sebastian!" Ciel pulled back and looked at Sebastian, unshed tears in his eyes as he gazed at the male.
Sebastian knew what his young master was asking for and wordlessly obeyed (though he was more than pleased to do so).
Ciel cried out suddenly as Sebastian pulled almost completely out and his weight was shifted as he fell backwards onto the bed.
Sebastian grabbed at his hips and gripped none too gently as he began to thrust as hard and fast inside of Ciel as he had always fantasised about.
Ciel' eyes flew open widely as he felt the new angle deep inside him, striking him perfectly.
"No! No-Ah!" He cried, not believing the pressure that was building up inside of him.
"Bocchan," Sebastian growled huskily and flicked a lip in concentration outside of one corner of his mouth, "don't hold back because you have to. Let go my master. My Bocchan."
Ciel listened carefully to the words, and if that wasn't enough to convince him to let go, the hand know kneading and pumping his erection certainly was. He arched attractively and practically screamed Sebastian' name as he saw a flash of white and his seed spilled out onto his stomach.
He felt Sebastian' give a few more thrusts against him and a moan that sounded an awfully lot like his name, before the pleasure began to recede.
It had obviously been too much for the young master, who seemed to collapse into dark oblivion and sink into it comfortably, glad that Sebastian was intent on holding onto him know and joining him.
Sebastian watched Ciel sleep, the small boy curled on his side and up to Sebastian for warmth. Or Comfort. Or even, that , Sebastian thought, slightly amused by the prospect. But only slightly. For although he found it funny, the thought his lord would never admit that openly, he wanted something. He could feel it within himself.
His hand came out and cupped the side of Ciel' face, gently and tenderly stroking his smooth skin.
The moonlight shone down through the crack in the curtain from the window and created a perfect little strip of light for Sebastian to look at Ciel with. He'd used it to watch Ciel' face, twisting in pleasure and singing for him like a beautiful bird, calling out his name. Sebastian had also watch the boy cry. Cry in whatever pleasure or emotion he was feeling, but with desire in his eyes and begging Sebastian for more.
'Harder! Faster!'
Sebastian' flames burned in his stomach again and hoped that when his Bocchan awoke, he'd be able to coax him into commanding Sebastian to prolong what they had just done.
And Sebastian gave a small, soft noise of amusement. He found it funny. The thrill of being wanted and needed was pleasant and he found…he liked it. He dwelled on what was going to happen from this point on. And then he didn't dwell to much. He was going to enjoy being Ciel' butler. But he would never admit that. He would however admit he'd enjoy teaching and learning what his Bocchan liked. And how he could facilitate his other needs from now on, along with his own.
Born from silence, silence full of itA perfect concert my best friendSo much to live for, so much to die forIf only my heart had a homeSing what you can't sayForget what you can't playHasten to drown into beautiful eyesWalk within my poetry, this dying music- My love letter to nobodyNever sigh for better worldIt`s already composed, played and toldEvery thought the music I writeEverything a wish for the nightWrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virginDied for the beauty the one in the gardenCreated a kingdom, reached for the wisdomFailed in becoming a godNever sigh..."If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote itRemember only the verse, song maker's cry, the one without tearsFor I've given this its strength and it has become my only home, mother's lap, chance for immortalityWhere being wanted became a thrill I never knewThe sweet piano writing down my life""Teach me passion for I fear it`s goneShow me love, hold the lornSo much more I wanted to give to the ones who love meI`m sorryTime will tell (this bitter farewell)I live no more to shame nor me nor youAnd you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore..."A lonely soul... An ocean soul...
