"Hello Internet," Dan waves towards the camera with a sad, barely there smile.

"So, as you guys probably know," Dan took a deep breath. "Phil," a shuddering exhale, "Phil isn't with us anymore."

He puts his head in his hands. He just sits there. Five minutes, ten, fifteen. TO BE EDITIED OUT.

When he gets his bearings back he looks at the camera.

"He was, uh, he was, he was hit by a bus." He stammers, the words poison on his tongue.

Tears start trickling down his cheeks.

"And they couldn't revive him."

That's when he breaks down. He starts crying uncontrollably, crying out Phil's name in mourning as if that'll bring him back. TO BE EDITED OUT.

He's so damn weak, it takes him a whole hour to stop crying.

When he looks back at the camera, his eyes are rimmed with red.

"We all loved him, we all miss him. But-"he swallows, almost unsure what to say, even though he has already scripted this.

"I can't continue making video's anymore. Not without Phil. He was the whole reason I joined YouTube in the first place, and I can't do it without him."

He rubs the bridge of his nose.

"I want you guys to know how thankful I am for you. Thank you for being so supportive, and thank you for accepting this decision." His voice cracks.

"But I can't walk around the house anymore without having a panic attack. I can't look into his room without crying for hours on the floor. I haven't been outside in days, I haven't been able to eat or sleep without nightmares…"

His eyes drift off and then refocus.

"I really wish I could continue, but I just can't do this anymore."

He breathing constricts as his windpipe seems to cut off. His head swims. Dark spots appear before his eyes. Fear races through him for no apparent reason. Then he realizes it.

He's having another panic attack.

It takes him a whole thirty minutes to remember how to breathe again. TO BE EDITED OUT.

When he looks back at the camera, he can barely hold himself together long enough to say:

"So I guess this is it. Goodbye internet."

/

His phone is blowing up. Tyler, Louise, Cat.

Texts and tweets from worried fans.

He becomes so jumpy that at every buzz of his phone he would drop it.

The third day after he posted the video he shut everything down.

Deleted everything.

His contacts, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram.

His finger hovered over the delete button for YouTube, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't delete what he and Phil had built together. He couldn't.

He threw his stupid phone into the wall, laid on his bed, and cried for what seemed like days.

/

NEWS REPORT

Daniel James Howell, 25, found dead in his apartment.

When Authorities found him he was lying on the bathroom floor, next to a glass of wine and a bottle of scattered sleeping pills.

They also found a suicide note.

I'm sorry to anyone who finds me like this.

He's gone.

Phil's gone.

I can't live without him.

I'm sorry to my friends and fans, but it had to end this way.

I going to go find him so we can play Mario-cart, Pokémon, and watch anime forever.

Love, Dan.