The year was 2046

The free people of the world were engaged in a 7th intifada. Everywhere people were fighting the merchant menace, including the crystal gems. Every day they went out to hunt Zionist jews, gender rights activists, and immigrants. Their body counts were in the hundreds. All except Steven and Pearl.

"But guuuuuuuys I wanna fight the merchants!" Steven would pout whenever the squad left to jihad. "But Steven, it's just too dangerous! You can be safe with me." Pearl would always reply, trying to console the insecure child. While everybody else was out holocausting the earth Steven was left home with Pearl. Pearl was a fucking boring host. She never let Steven play any fun games, watch any good movies, or jack off to straight porn. Most of the time she wouldn't even feed him, because apparently cooking for a 8 year old who can't even wipe his ass without burning a building is female slavery. Instead she'd lay in bed, injecting strange syringes into her bloodstream labeled "Testosterone" while watching lesbian transgender porn. What was testosterone? Steve had no clue, so one day he asked the fat crystal gem. (author's note:been awhile since i've seen Steven Universe sorry) She was horrified. "TESTOSTERONE?! Did you read it right?" "Yes you fatass, she injects that shit into her arm all day. Is it a drug? Like heroine?" "No Steven it's even worse." The fat crystal gem ran out to get the black crystal gem and together they went to Pearl's room to confront her.

What they saw was horrifying, it was too late. She had already completed her transformation into a trap. Before they could unsheath their crystal swords Pearl slapped them with her dick, impaling the black one and giving her a short but denigrating death. Then she pointed her dong at the fat one but a miracle happened, it went limp. As it turns out, fat chicks aren't all that. You can get hard for a big booty chick but not a chick who is big everywhere. This moment of weakness allowed the fat crystal to conjure up a big oven. "In you go!" she yelled as she dragged Pearl's anorexic ass in there. Pearl died a slow and painful death as she was slowly cooked like the big nosed fucker she is.

Steven was free to jack off to straight porn again and all was good.

Hi guys PoFangurl here! I hope you guys liked my story, been awhile since I've seen SU but I was a big fan of the show and the fandom. Hope to write many more stories for you guys.