The hot sticky air floated through the van's open window. It floated to the back making Emily's hair stick to the side of her face. She yawned breathing in a mix of the cool air from the A.C and the hot air from outside.
Her mother had been driving around Michigan since 5pm. Emily sat up from her reclined seat in the back and looked at the clock on the dashboard. It read 11:17pm. Emily sighed and leaned back. She looked out the window at the tall buildings and passing cars. She stopped paying attention to where they were going a while ago.
The radio station was playing popular music that she didn't listen to. Since the speakers were right next to her head she couldn't make out what her mom and step dad were arguing about. Probably money like always, she thought.
Her parents had been divorced since she was eight. Her mom went through 3 different guys including the current one. Her dad had only been with one person. Emily couldn't bear to think about her…. Not now when it was so fresh in her mind. Her chest tightened and her breathing sped up. The memories tore at her mind. A tear slipped out of her eye and her caramel brown eyes stared off at the stars. She let go. Letting the pit of depression in her chest consume her. Her eyes drifted lazily shut. Too hurt to have the energy to stay awake.
Emily's eyes slowly opened. She brushed strands of dark hair off her face and rubbed her eyes.
" Are you thirsty?"
Emily looked up at her mom. Her freckled face looked tired and angry. Emily nodded her head.
"Well what do you want?"
Emily didn't like to talk and she sighed before answering.
"Arizona green tea, the one in the teal can."
Her mom looked to her brother and asked the same questions, although he asked for Gatorade. The red kind as always. Her mom and step dad got out of the car and went inside the gas station. Emily reached over to the front center console and grabbed her iPod. She connected to the free wifi and texted Kaleb.
Kaleb was a little taller than Emily. He had chocolate brown eyes and light brown hair that swept down across one eye. He was really cute. Especially his nose that was a little too big but seemed to make him even more attractive. He had very low self esteem and thought he was fat and ugly. Emily had insisted that he wasn't but he would never listen.
They had only become friends that year in school. Emily had no friends in most of her classes and he was in her biology class in freshman year. His assigned seat was next to her and they had to work together for most assignments. Kaleb had a huge crush on her. She was completely oblivious. When other students would yell at them or say that they were flirting Emily would put her head down and hide under her arms. Rumors swirled around school about her. That she was cheating on her boyfriend with Kaleb. That was the only one she knew for sure.
Kaleb didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Before he would text her telling her that she was beautiful and how happy she made him. He stopped because she told him that she did like him but it couldn't go any further because she had her boyfriend and she loved him. So he backed off. He had no idea how it made her feel. She didn't want to push him away, his compliments made her smile and blush. Now she just felt empty. She tried to get him to make another comment like he used to.
Emily texted him that she wanted to hug him because she felt like shit. All he said was sorry and her chest deflated in disappointment. She just wanted to smile again. That was all their conversation was.
Emily's mom and stepdad got back in the car. "Here's your drinks, and we got treats too." Her mom threw two packages of a candy at Emily and her brother. They took their drinks and Emily picked up the package off the floor. She read the calorie count and decided not to eat it, she already had two cookies and a veggie burger today. That added up to 440 calories but she burned off 185 when her mom made everyone get out of the car and walk around grand haven. Leaving her with 255 calories. She added up everything in her head including the 35 calories from her drink she had 290. She handed the treat back to her mom, making up an excuse about not liking it.
Emily picked up her favorite book. She re-read the pages she bookmarked and the underlined phrases. The car ride seemed to drag on and she took out the flattened pack of gum. She popped a piece in her mouth and savored the sweet minty flavor. Emily passed the time by reading, playing games on her iPod, and sleeping.
Emily woke up to her brother saying they were almost home. She sat up and wiped the drool off of her cheek. They pulled into the driveway. The headlights flashing onto the garage. Emily gathered up the things she brought with her in the car. Her iPod, book, pack of gum, and her shoes.
Emily slowly got out of the van, careful not to drop anything. She sleepily walked through the garage and inside the house. All the lights were turned off but she knew this house like the back of her hand. Walk in turn left past the little bathroom and the laundry room. Walk straight through the kitchen but careful because they moved the table. Turn into the hallway and past the living room. Walk down the hallway past the three closets in the wall and photos of their cousins on the other. Past your little brothers room and turn left again into her room. Past the bigger bathroom and if you turned right you'd end up in her mother's room.
Emily climbed up the ladder to her bed. She had bunk beds and no one to share them with. She picked the top bunk because if she put her pillows all around the sides, no one could see in. She flopped down on her bed and pulled off her shorts and her t-shirt. It was too hot for any pajamas. She pulled the thin comforter around her and cocooned herself in it. She was always cold and shivered under her blanket.
Emily pulled out her iPod and texted her boyfriend, Jake. She tells him everything, even if she knows it'll hurt him.
Hey, I'm finally home.
Hey I missed you
I need a hug
Why, what's wrong?
…just memories..
Are you okay?
Not really
I'm here for you if you need me, I always will be. Don't forget. I love you
I love you more, I can barely keep my eyes open right now. I think if you were here i'd cry on your shoulder.
It's okay, I'd let you. You're worrying me though. Please tell me what's wrong.
I.. I keep remembering my stepmom…
Oh my god Emily I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Like I said I just need you here, I might go to bed soon. I'll probably cry myself to sleep like usual. I love you and don't worry so much. You know I'd never leave you.
I know but I can't help worrying, I care too much. You can go to bed and I'm sorry that everything is bugging you.
Goodnight my love
Night
Emily shut her iPod off and plugged it into her charger. She couldn't hold back the memories back any longer.
Emily walked down the stairs into the kitchen. She was getting ready for school at her dad's house. She woke up at 5am to have time for her dad to drive. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and grabbed the coffee pot. She turned around towards the sink and rinsed it out. Then filled it to the five cups mark. She did this silently because she didn't want to wake up her little step sister. Melanie. The name flashed through her mind. The Emily in her memory finished making the coffee and turned the coffee maker on.
She walked up the stairs to her room and got dressed. A long sleeved shirt, black leggings and a dark blue jacket. She grabbed her backpack and slid a small gold bible in the back pocket. Her deepest secret. She put all her school supplies and binders in it and zipped it up. With a sigh she pulled on her backpack and went back down the stairs. Setting her backpack down she walked into the bathroom and brushed her hair. Her hair was a pretty dark brown and was down to her waist. She had shaved the left side of her head to her ear and parted her hair so most of it hung over her right eye. She put her Axe deodorant on and walked to her dad's room. She quietly peeked through the door and whispered his name. He groaned and sat up, saying he would get up soon.
Emily went back upstairs to wake up her little step sister. She sat down on her own bed and looked at her sleeping sister. Melanie's blonde hair fanned out on her pillow and a strand or two was caught in her mouth. Emily loved her sister more than anything, Melanie was nine and was very pretty. She was perfect. Emily gently shook her shoulder and Melanie's big hazel eyes framed by thick lashes opened. She let out a soft "Huh?" and sat up. I smiled at her and told her I was getting ready for school. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.
Emily got up and went back down the stairs to see her dad ready to go. She grabbed her backpack and, with a grunt she pulled in onto her back. "You ready to go?" Emily nodded and followed him out the door.
They got into the car and Emily looked up at the window to wave goodbye to Melanie and she wasn't there.
…...
Thought raced through Emily's mind. I didn't even hug her, whats wrong with me. That's the last time I ever saw her and I made her feel bad because I didn't hug her. Tears leaked out of her eyes and soaked into her pillow. I miss her so much, my Melly. Emily cried herself to sleep, her stomach growling.
