Fuck. This is my last shot, Winston thought as he walked into the bedroom.
2 hours until eviction. It had taken him two whole days to work up the courage for this, and even now he was holding back the growing urge to let tonight play out on its own accord. Maybe making waves would be a bad idea; maybe Level 6 would have his back and he shouldn't throw them under the bus like this. But he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach since he asked Rachel for her vote. She couldn't even look him in the eyes during that conversation! But she was totally head-over-heels when Brett asked for her vote in the geometry room, Winston thought peevedly. God, he hated how jealous he sounded for even thinking that. He should be happy Brett was having such an easy time locking in his votes. He's supposed to be the social half of their dynamic duo, after all. Meanwhile, he was the... funny half? Competitive half? Strategic half?
The useless half, more like it, he thought to himself bitterly. Well, if he could pull this off, maybe he wouldn't be so useless after all. Maybe he'd do something right in this game for once. Here goes. Winston opened the door to the Have-Not room.
"Hey Sam, how's it going?" Winston beamed a winning smile-well, winning in the outside world anyways, where he wasn't such an apparently undesirable loser. He made sure to lay his southern drawl on thick. It was one of the few things he knew for sure they had in common.
"Hi Winston!" Sam smiled back. She was sitting cross-legged on small saucer, though you could barely recognize it under the large pink comforter that totally engulfed it. "I'm knitting a handkerchief from one of Fessy's headbands and a little pin that fell off of one of the wall hangings." She held up a small red pointed knob that Winston vaguely remembered from the front of the HoH room. "Were you looking for Brett? He's in the Diary Room right now, but he said he was going to go work out afterwards."
Without me? Never mind, not important. He'll probably ask me later, anyways. Winston sat down awkwardly on the saucer next to her. "No, actually, I just wanted to come hang out with you!" He smiled again, leaning back into the saucer. His legs hung awkwardly off the side, and he was sort of laying directly on top of his arm. Does this look weird? No, don't overthink it this time.
"Oh, I could use some company, this little project is going to take a while," Sam agreed. She stopped knitting and started at him for a moment. "...did you want to borrow a pillow? I'm kinda stuck in this bed 'cause I got all my knitting stuff spread out on it. But I'm sure Brett wouldn't mind if you used some of his stuff to make yourself more comfortable!"
So much for not overthinking it. "Oh no, I'm fine, I'm used to these things at this point anyways." He readjusted himself to look less stiff and turned his body towards Sam. "I just wanted to ask you..."
Just go for it. You're not gonna get her alone again.
But what if she gets upset and you lose a vote? It's tight enough as it is.
If you don't do this, it's either you or Brett. Do you want either of you to go?
I came here to win, for myself. I refuse to forget that.
What about your alliance? They'll hate your guts for screwing them over.
It's a game, they'll get over it. Like you said, you're here for yourself. Do you really care what they'll think of you? Does that even matter?
"I just wanted to ask you if you could show me your recipe for slop funnel cakes sometime. I know they're terrible for you and all, but I think I deserve a cheat day if I make it through this disaster of a week I've been having, haha!" Apparently it does.
Sam didn't look up from her knitting. "Oh, of course! I don't know if we have enough sugar for a second batch today, but I was planning on frying some up Saturday afternoon, if you wanted to help me out then."
"Great! Sounds like a date then." Winston grinned and winked, but Sam wasn't looking at him and didn't seem to notice.
A few seconds passed. Then a few more. Fuck, I gotta try again. It's so awkward in here... what am I even supposed to say?
"Actually Sam, I was also wonderin-"
"Winston, if you're here to ask for my vote, I already told you. I love you and Brett both very much, and honestly I can't decide right now. It's like choosing your favorite ice cream flavor at the parlor. Some days you feel like rocky road, some days you feel like French vanilla. They're both so great, but you can only get one, so you just have to make a choice. And you might regret it later, but you still love both flavors just as much. When I was little, my mama took me to this ice cream place called KT Creamery down the street, it had a happy little cow on the logo that was licking an ice cream cone. Anyways this one time, my mama, my brother, and I went there because it was just such a hot summer..."
Fifteen (maybe twenty?) minutes later, Sam wrapped up her story. Somehow it had drifted into a retelling of her first time in a derby, but Winston was busy mentally re-counting his votes for most of her meandering. "Wow, that's amazing," Winston said, hoping it was indeed something amazing. Sam smiled pleasantly, so he must have guessed right. 90 minutes to eviction now, Winston thought. Now or never. "Actually Sam, I wanted to ask you about-"
Suddenly Sam's smile dropped. She put down her needlework and crossed her arms. Fuck, I'm screwed, Winston thought.
"Winston, I'm sorry, but I'm not stupid. I know you've been trying to make small talk and and be my best friend because you need my vote, and I don't appreciate you trying to use me like that. I am your friend and I love you very much, but there's nothing I hate more than dishonesty. I'd rather you just be polite and friendly but not talk to me much at all than pretend to be something that you're not. And if you honestly don't feel we connect much on a personal level, I would respect it much more if you didn't try to butter me up and manipulate me like that."
"What?" Winston was speechless. "Sam, it's not like that at all, I promise you! I swear." Maybe it was partially like that...
Sam looked unconvinced. "Well, if it's not 'like that,' then,"-she gestured air-quotes-"what is it like, exactly?" She put down her hands. "And remember, I can smell bullshit from a mile away, so I would very much appreciate it if you stayed honest with me. Be blunt if you have to, but don't lie to my face."
Honesty. Fuck it, here goes.
"Sam, I know you have the power."
She stared at him for what felt like minutes. Finally, she spoke. "...I thought you might know already. Kaitlyn can't keep her mouth shut to save her life. Did I tell you I called her a 'fat whore' the other day?" She burst out into laughter.
Honesty.
But what about your alliance?
Screw them. They left me on the block even with the Veto last week. They can't even look me in the eyes and tell me I'm going home this week. They don't give a shit about me. I'm not Brett.
"It wasn't Kaitlyn. It was Tyler. Tyler told me."
Sam stopped laughing. Her face fell, and her voice quieted. "...Tyler told you? I didn't think he told anyone..."
No point burning bridges that don't need to be burnt, at least for now. "Tyler told me, but Kaitlyn did tell a lot of people, so honestly at this point I think almost everyone knows about it. They might not know what it does, but they know that you have it."
"That lying whore," Sam whispered not-very-quietly to herself. Then, she asked, "...do you know what my power does?"
"I don't know the details, or how long it lasts or anything, but I did hear that it could save someone if they might be going home. Is that true?"
Sam pursed her lips. "It's nothing against you, but I don't know who I can trust at this point in time, and I'm still learning about this game, so I think it's in my best interest to keep the details to myself, so I won't confirm or deny what you just asked me."
Winston continued. "No, that's totally understandable, I would feel the same if I had an app."
"Do you?"
"No, if I did I wouldn't be in this situation, after all!" He laughed. Then, he readied his sales pitch. He'd been practicing all day.
"Sam, I know this is a lot to ask of you, and I completely, completely understand if you don't want to, but I'm begging you to save me or Brett this week. What's a little begging if it means Brett and I both survive this eviction? I know it's a long shot, I know you have to look out for yourself first, but I can promise you, if you save us this week, we'll both work our butts off to keep you safe for the rest of the game. We'll always be bigger targets than you, we won't ever nominate you even as a pawn, we'll keep you safe at all costs, no matter what. I swear on my life."
Sam thought for a moment. Then, she smiled, but Winston didn't see much hope in it. "Winston, I appreciate your genuineness, and you're my friend, but Scottie's my friend too, and I want to respect his decision at the end of the day."
Well, I'm too deep in it now to take no for an answer. "Scottie's safe too," he blurted without really thinking about it. "Brett and I won't put him up either. I already apologized to him on a personal level, and we can bury the hatchet gamewise too. He'll be 100% safe with us too, I swear." Brett will understand, probably. Hopefully?
Sam seemed to take that as an acceptable answer. She leaned back and crossed her arms again, seemingly considering his pitch. There's a chance, Winston hoped. Then, she leaned forward and raised her hands up as if in defeat. "Winston, to be honest, I don't understand much how this game works. I'm still learning, but all I really have kind of pieced together so far, is that it's good to have the backs of people that have yours. And Scottie, at least as far I know, has had my back this entire game. I think you should talk to Scottie about this, and if he's OK with this proposal you've made, I'll be OK with it too."
Winston slumped his shoulders. That's no good, there's absolutely no way Scottie is going to go for this after committing to separating the bros. Especially after his little blow-up in the HoH room. Fuck, why did he have to screw that up, too?
Time for a new approach. He was never great with emotional pitches-he was "unable to articulate his feelings" according to his last ex-but at this point he was willing to try pretty much anything. Here goes.
"Yeah, that sounds fair, I'll talk to him later." Probably not. "...I just feel like I haven't really gotten a chance to know anyone, not really, you know? I know it's kind of my fault for hanging out with Brett all the time, and that sort of makes other people feel left out, but I promise you I'll change that next week if I can stay. I could go home in two weeks for all that it matters, but I don't want to leave without getting to know each and every person here, on a deeper level. Just give me one more week, please."
Sam seemed unfazed by his second plea. "Winston, don't bullshit me, I'm serious. I know you're just saying all this stuff to tug at my heartstrings, and I'm sorry, but it's not going to work. If you did care about getting to know everyone, you would've made an effort to at least know the most basic things about their lives by now. Do you even know what Fessy does for a living? Do you know the names of Rockstar's kids?"
"One of them is named Radio, right? That's kind of weird, isn't it?"
"I'm not here to judge what she names her kids, and neither are you. Like I said, all I want from people here is honesty, and right now you're not giving me that at all." She picked up her handkerchief and began to work on it again.
Honesty. Why was it so hard? He wasn't keeping any secrets, not really. All he had to do put his thoughts into words, and make sure they didn't come out wrong, and make sure Sam didn't misunderstand them, and make sure he was being honest with himself in the first place before saying it. Simple enough.
Winston took a deep breath. "Okay, honesty. I can be a hundo-p honest with you, but I don't know if you'll like what I'm going to say."
Sam shrugged. "I'm sure I'll like it better than you thinking you could pull a fast one on me with some bullshit about second chances."
The words suddenly came spilling out then; he didn't even need to think about them before speaking them into existence.
"I don't want to go because I'm a competitor, and going out in the third week would be letting myself down, and letting my family down. I don't want to go because I feel like there's so much left that I need to do in the game, with you, with Brett, with Angela, with everyone-I was being honest when I said I felt like I haven't had the chance to get to know everyone well, and I really do want to, I really do. I don't want to go because I'm afraid I'm going to fall to the wayside again while everyone else here moves on without me. No one's gonna remember the guy that goes home Week 3. In two months Angela and Rachel will barely remember what I look like, let alone who I am. And Brett, I know we're close and all now, but I know how this goes. It happens to me all the time. I'm not stupid, I know we've only known each other for three weeks. And especially in here, where every week feels like a month and a month feels like forever... I'm sure we'll all still hang out and stuff after the show's over, but if I go now, we're just gonna be the sort of friends that hit each other up when they're in town for a few months, and then just kind of stop talking because you've just... grown apart." Winston stopped and took a breath. "It happens. I know."
Wow, where the hell did that all come from?
Sam was quiet for a while. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost a whisper. "I believe you. You're speaking from the heart, I can tell. I'm not saying I'm a clairo-whatsit or whatever like Kaitlyn, but I can see when someone's being heartfelt." She smiled.
Winston felt a wave of relief wash over him. Finally, something's worked out for me this week. Then Sam continued.
"It's very sweet that you care about your friends in here like that. If it's any consolation to you, I don't think they'd just forget you, not if they're really your friends. True friends will always sta..."
Winston stopped paying attention. Consolation? Shit, I'm still fucked this week, aren't I? Clearly, she needed more heartfelted-ness or whatever to be convinced. "It's not just that," he blurted out, interrupting Sam mid-sentence.
Sam looked at him expectantly. "Was there something else you wanted to say?"
Winston swallowed. "Yeah, um, there's more to it." Fuck, think man. It's literally your last chance.
"The thing is..." What's 'the thing', exactly? She's staring. Fuck, she's staring so hard. Is that what I always look like when I'm talking? That's so weird...
"The thing is, I feel like even just one more week could make all the difference, especially if I could get a fresh start. Honestly, I was blindsided this week, and I know I didn't handle it very well, but I just felt so betrayed and angry... I felt like Scottie and I were friends, you know?"
"He didn't seem to think so," Sam interjected.
"Oh..." Really? I mean we weren't close, but I thought we were buddies... "Well anyways, with everyone else, it was like I had the plague or something based on how much they were avoiding me." He paused. "I guess it didn't help that I held onto the tiny bit of hope that I could get out of it, through the Veto or a power app or something, so it didn't really hit me until recently that this might have been my last week in the house. And now it's almost over. If I stayed, even just one more week, I wouldn't take it for granted, I promise you that. I'd really get to know everyone, hash out all the little issues that have been coming up the past few weeks, tie up loose ends and whatever-"
Sam held up her hand to stop him. "Wait wait, hold on... everything you're saying right now sort of sounds like mumbo-jumbo. I don't even know what you're trying to say here." Well she's one to talk, Winston thought, but he kept his mouth shut. "If you were to stay this week," she began, "what exactly would you do differently?"
This is good, right? She's giving it a chance... "Well, for starters, I'd tell everyone that I'm starting with a clean slate. No grudges or holdovers, it'd be just like as if I walked in on Day 1 all over again. Clean slate." He held up two fingers. Sam seemed to be listening carefully to his answer here. "Secondly, I'd try to be more... genuine about myself. I know you and some other people in this house said that I "changed" when I started hanging out with Brett or something, and I guess that must be true if everyone's saying it is." Did I really change that much? "I mean I haven't noticed it, but I'm also sitting on the block now so what do I know? I'd definitely make a real effort to be more... myself, you know?" Sam was still listening intently.
Winston continued. "And lastly, I'd start making time to hang out with everyone in the house, not just Brett. Trust me, I know how it sucks to feel like you're being left out of something, and I get how other people can feel that way when they see me and Brett 'bro-ing out,' as you put it." He chuckled, but Sam looked unfazed. "It'll be hard," he added, "but I promise you I'll make it work, and make sure that everyone feels included."
Silence. Uncomfortable, but expected. Sam just kept staring at him, her head jutted forward; he felt like a statue on display at a museum with how closely she was scrutinizing his face. Then, she pulled back into her saucer. "...why would it be hard to talk to other people for you? You seem like you'd be a popular guy outside the house."
Was he being interrogated? First Kaitlyn with the doctor thing, now this. Do I really look that sketchy? Winston cleared his throat. "Well, um..." He cleared it again. "I guess it's already been a few weeks and everyone has kind of settled into the house, so I'm a bit behind there. I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have a different sense of humor than most people-not just here, but in general-or a weird personality of something. If you haven't noticed, most of my jokes tend to fall flat here." He laughed awkwardly.
"Well I think you're a funny guy," Sam smiled. "And weird is a good thing. No one wants to watch 16 of the same person playing Big Brother. But you gotta just, you know, be yourself, and put yourself out there. And people will like you for that. That authenticity. Like me, for instance. I'm liking you a lot right now! And most people probably feel the same way, if you're real with them."
And what if they don't? "Aww, thanks Sam!" Winston beamed. "Unfortunately for me, you're the only one that seems to think that way in here."
"Well what about Brett?" Sam asked. "He likes you for who you are, too, right?"
Does he? "...yeah, him too. Of course!"
He must have sounded more hesitant than he thought, because Sam tilted her head slightly as soon as he answered. She picked up her handkerchief and began knitting again. "Well that didn't sound like a very confident answer, Winston."
Winston chuckled nervously. "Oh, it's nothing really. Brett and I are bros, we're two peas in a pod, really. He's a bit, uh, smoother with the ladies in the house as I'm sure you've noticed." Sam nodded. Of course she noticed, everyone has. "I mean, this game's all about social relationships, so I think it's probably a good thing that I've picked up a thing or two from him, if anything."
Sam pursed her lips. "...I don't know if that's worked out as well as you might be thinking... honestly, I think people can tell that sometimes, you're putting on a bit of an act and trying to be more like Brett than you really are, you know? Just be yourself!"
"Oh, that's easy for you to say," Winston scoffed. "Everyone loves you! It's easy to tell someone to 'be yourself' when everyone already loves you the way you are..." He caught himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound snappy there. But you're amazing, Sam! Everyone really does love you, trust me!"
Sam raised one corner of her lips up into a slight smile. "That's very kind of you to say." She chuckled. "But I can tell you one thing for sure, that is definitely not true." She laughed again.
"What? What kind of monster wouldn't like sweet ol' Sammy girl?" Winston said in a mock Virginian accent. God, that sounded so awkward, why did I just do that?
"Well, my ex-boyfriend," Sam said, stone-faced. "He wasn't a monster, he was actually a very sweet, caring guy." She paused her knitting, trying to find the right words. "We just didn't... mesh well together."
Sam continued. "You know, I spent five years in that relationship, and the whole time, I was convinced that I could make it work..."
Oh boy, here we go again, Winston thought. She knows eviction's in just over an hour, right? I'm screwed, so, so, so screwed. But he made a real effort to pay attention this time. Well, towards the end, at least.
Sam droned on for some time. Winston tried his best to tune in to the important details.
"...but I realized, before I made the very tough decision to break it off, that I wasn't the same person I was going into that relationship. And that's OK sometimes, but I didn't like the person that I had become. For a long time, I thought it was him that changed me. But over time-a long time-I came to realize that it was me that changed to make him happy. I wanted to make that relationship work so badly, that I forgot who I was, you know? I tried to become who he wanted me to be. But that wasn't me, it never was me. And if he couldn't accept me for me, then I knew, this was never going to work."
She sure has a lot of ex-boyfriend stories. "Wow Sam, I knew you were one tough cookie, but that was very brave of you. It must've taken a lot of guts to let go of a relationship you'd already put that much time and effort into."
Sam smiled softly. "Thank you," she said. Console and compliment, nailed it, Winston thought. He knew Sam much better than he expected.
"So the reason I bring this up, is because how I acted with my ex reminds me a lot of how you are around Brett."
Wait, what?
Winston burst out into laughter, but Sam didn't follow. "So just to be clear, you're saying that you trying to be a different person with your ex is like me trying to be more like Brett? That's hilarious, definitely not a comparison I've heard before, that's for sure."
"All I'm saying, is that changing who you are to become someone that you think someone else wants you to be is something that I can relate to."
"I appreciate you trying to empathize with me Sam, but I don't think the two situations are very comparable."
"Well," Sam started. "I think most people in this house would agree that you started acting a lot differently when you started hanging out with Brett, right?"
"I mean, I didn't think I did anything different, but if everyone else says I did... I guess it might be true. So maybe not 'a lot', but somewhat differently, I guess?" Was it really that big of a difference?
"Do you care what everyone else thinks of you?" Sam asked.
Winston crossed his arms. "Not to be rude, but don't give a rat's ass about what any of these people think about me. I came here to play a game and win some money, and I said I'd do whatever it takes to get it." That sounded convincing, right?
"Well, do you care what Brett thinks of you?" Sam followed.
Winston paused. "...I mean, to an extent, I guess? He and I are tight, and he's better than me at some things, I can recognize that." A lot of things is more like it. "I think it's a good thing that he and I can bounce off of each other and improve in the game, and other stuff too, you know? I help him and he helps me, it goes both ways."
"So if you don't care what anyone here thinks of you but Brett, who are you trying to impress by changing who you are, then?" Sam looked at him expectantly.
He didn't have an answer to that one. "...I feel like you walked me into a trap here, and you know it. You're a sneaky woman, you know, Sam?"
Sam smiled innocently. "You could have said you were trying to improve yourself..."
Oh yeah, that would have been a good answer.
"...but you didn't."
"I was thinking it," Winston lied. Even he would have been able to see through that one without Sam's BS-detecting powers. "I mean Brett's clearly got something going for him, everyone loves the guy and thinks I'm just like, dog food or something in comparison. He's got 16 girls chasing him out there and there are only 8 girls in the house!"
"I feel like you've told me that before..." Sam responded. I should really find a new joke...
Sam continued. "Anyways, it's not a crime to want to be loved, Winston. Everyone feels that way sometimes, even me. Especially me when it comes to this house. Remember when I was a robot? No one wanted to talk to me then." Sam raised her eyebrows. "Except Scottie," she conceded.
"I talked to you a lot that week too Sam, remember?" Winston was sure they had a few talks in the backyard at the very least.
Sam shook her head. "Not really." She wiggled in her seat and adjusted her crossed legs. "It was really talking around me, you and Brett would say 'hi' and sit down next to me, but then just talk to each other while I sort of watched..."
I guess she's right about that one, Winston thought sheepishly. He never did have a one-on-one with robo-Sam, come to think of it. The robot was emotionless and oddly intimidating. Kind of like Angela, Brett joked once.
"Oh don't beat yourself up over it, it wasn't just you," Sam added hastily. "It was Week 1, I was on the block, and I was in a fucking robot," she giggled. "It sucked at the time, but I guess it ended up being worth it since I got the... thing and all."
Winston looked at the handkerchief Sam was working on. Camo print, just like his headband. Wait, was that his headband? Fucking JC, I let you borrow it once for a workout and somehow it ends up with Fessy, and now Sam's pulling it apart--
"What'cha thinking about now?" Sam asked, interrupting his mental rant against the little gremlin.
"Huh? Oh, nothing," Winston said dismissively, waving the issue away with hand.
Sam seemed unperturbed. "...well alright then, but you definitely seemed to be thinking about something important there. You just stopped talking and got that really intense look in your eyes you get when you're worked up." She open her eyes wide and frowned deeply, craning her neck forwards to stare at Winston's face.
I do not fucking look like that.
"I do not fucking look like that," Winston protested, but he couldn't help but laugh at Sam's comical expression while speaking.
Sam shrugged. "Maybe I was exaggerating a teeny bit, but it's true you make that face a lot."
Winston squinted his eyes and tilted his head. Then, Sam added, "It's cute, your face is very expressive. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeve, but you wear yours right here." She swept her hand up and down across her visage.
"Unfortunately for me, that's probably not a good thing in this house. Heck, that's part of the reason I might be going home tonight..." "
You can tell exactly how he's feeling from his face, he can't be subtle to save his life," Rachel said. Not to his face, of course. He heard from Kaycee. She told Brett, though. Obviously.
Sam put down her handkerchief and clasped her hands together. "Well, you never know in this house. Power or not, you might not even go home. The votes seem very close from what I've heard." She shrugged, and then added, "...not that anyone tells me much." She giggled. "I didn't tell you this before, but I asked everyone else to pick marbles from a bucket and told them that's how I would choose who to vote out tonight! Just so they would stop talking game with me."
This woman... Winston forced a smile and a laugh. "Really, that's hilarious!" Sam's face quickly fell. "I'm sorry Winston, I would never actually decide my vote like that. Like I said, I love you both so, so much. I just couldn't handle everyone trying to tell me to vote this way or that way, it was just too much..."
This way or that way... It was a bit of comfort to know that someone was campaigning for him at least, though he didn't know who. JC likes me, maybe it's him? He likes Brett more though...
"No, I totally get it, that's actually pretty smart of you. You should do that every eviction from here on out!" he joked. Winston continued, "...you're right, you never really know for sure who's going to go home. But I guess what sucks the most this week is that I know for sure that one of us is going home. There's just no way around it. It's him or me." Probably me. "And both of those possibilities just... really suck. I just hate both of them equally. For different reasons, of course, but they're on the same level for me."
Sam furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly. "...so you're saying that you staying and Brett going would be just as hard for you as you leaving yourself?"
"Well of course from a practical standpoint I'd much rather stay," Winston said hastily. "I came here to play for myself and win for myself." Good, just keep repeating it so you don't forget it. "But my whole strategy so far has been based on us as a duo, and my social relationships in this house are based on us as a duo, so if I were to stay without him, I'd pretty much have to start from scratch, and I'd be three weeks behind."
"Your 'social relationships'"-Sam threw out air-quotes-"are based on a duo? I feel like, at least from my personal perspective, Brett has a lot of relationships on his own. He hangs out with Haleigh and Kaitlyn a lot, you know?"
Yeah, I do know, I think I know better than anyone. Winston forced a laugh. "Well I guess Brett has the social relationship part down and I have the strategy part down, so we're much stronger together alone." Yep, your brilliant strategy of blowing up on the HoH and then proposing a secret final three in the middle of the night worked out just great. Where would Brett be without you?
"Oh, I like that!" Sam clasped her hands together excitedly. "You guys both have different things you're good at to help each other out! Double trouble!" She laughed. "So you're the brains behind the operation, then?"
Winston felt his face flush. "Well, I am a doctor, aren't I?"
How the hell does anyone in here still seriously think that after that last mental comp?
"A-ha! I knew you really were a doctor!" Sam shouted, pointing at him with a finger. Then, she whispered, "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. ...just make sure you don't tell Kaitlyn, she's already suspicious and has a mouth bigger than a catfish after a dry spell."
"No Sam, I was just joking. I swear to you, I promise you, on my life. I am not a doctor. I'm in medical sales, that's it. I swear on my life!" It's the glasses, isn't it?
Sam was still grinning from ear to ear. "Okay, you're not a doctor. I believe you." She gave a prolonged wink with a sly look on her face.
"No Sam, I'm serious. I'm really not a doctor. It was Kaitlyn that started that rumor, God knows why. You said you wanted me to be honest, so I'm being honest with you, swear on my life! Swear on Dixie's life!" Truthfully, he crossed his fingers on the last one. He wouldn't bring his dog into this, even if it was true.
Sam still seemed a little skeptical. "Alright, so you're not a doctor then. If you say so..." She paused, and then gave a slight smirk. "...do you swear on my life? Heaven strike me down if you're lying?"
"Your life?"
Sam nodded. Geez, what is up with this girl? "...I mean, I'd feel really weird swearing on someone else's life, but I can promise you I'm telling you the truth. You can Google me when you get out of the house, I have never at any point in my life held a medical practitioner's license in any country, ever."
"Were you ever a nurse?"
"No! My first job was in sales and I've been there ever since."
"Hmm... well, you definitely could be a doctor. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"Never before I came here. But now, apparently everyone in this damn house but Brett is convinced I am one." Winston sighed.
Sam opened her eyes wide. "You're lying to Brett?!"
"..."
She laughed. "I'm just kiddin'. Rachel told me the other day that you couldn't take a joke, but I wanted to see for myself. You gotta loosen up a bit, otherwise you're gonna end up having a heart attack at 40, just like my pa!" She laughed, but when she looked at Winston's unamused expression she added, "he lived, don't worry. ...you still got a few years left to figure that out." ...wait, what did Rachel say?
"...I'm 28. I'm telling you Sam, every word about me that comes out of Kaitlyn's mouth is a flat-out lie. All of it. I'm 28 years old, I'm from Kentucky, I'm in medical sales. Don't listen to anything she tells you otherwise."
Sam just giggled again. "I was just joking! I'm sorry, your face got so intense there, I was just couldn't stop paying attention to it. It's like a pitbull that really, really needed to pee half an hour ago." She sighed happily. "Alright, I'm sorry, I'll stop now."
"Thank you, Sam, I very much appreciate you comparing me to a dog about to wet itself. Anyways, what was that thing you said before, about Rachel? She said something about me not being able to take a joke? I mean not that I care, really, but what was that all about?" Yeah, you totally sounded like you didn't care just then...
"Oh, that? It wasn't a big deal, really. She was just helping me with the dishes, and she told me that you got upset that she called you 'desperate' or something like that. You guys were joking around and you called her a 'desperado' or whatever, but when she said something back you didn't like it very much. That's all, she wasn't mad or anything."
Oh, that time. "Huh? Oh yeah." Winston chuckled nervously. "I was out of line there. Brett said Rachel's favorite song was Desperacito, you know, like Despacito?" Sam shook her head to say 'no'. I don't know what I expected. "Well it's a popular song, it's not really that important. Anyways, I was laughing a bit too hard, and Rachel brought up how JC was going around calling me 'desperate' because none of the girls like me very much. And I was on the block that week, and the girls were all over Brett that night-more than usual, anyways," he added. "Yeah, that was stupid of me. She probably doesn't even remember it now, but she was right, I was kind of being a dick."
"Oh, don't listen to JC," Sam dismissed. "He's a little shit-stirrer, that one. I love him to death, but he doesn't mince his words... sometimes I feel like he just makes shit up because he's bored."
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Winston laughed. "...you know, Sam? You're a firecracker, you know that? People always say, 'oh, Sam is so sweet'-and you are-but you have, like, a dark side I don't think many people have seen."
Sam looked embarrassed, but there was the barest hint of a smirk on her face. "Oh, I know. It's not a good part of me, because I always try to be kind to everyone, but sometimes I just can't help it. Especially in here... but I'm working on it." She was almost done with her needlework. It looked fancy. Winston could almost forget that it was his bandanna being mangled in the process.
"No, no, I like this Sam! It's like, dark Sam. The Sam that isn't afraid to call JC out on his shit, or point out that Kaitlyn is, like, fucking crazy-"
"She's absolutely nutso, right!?" Sam exclaimed. "The other day, I saw her come out of the DR crying, so I asked her what was wrong. You know, what a normal, nice person does when they see someone sad, right?"
Winston nodded. "Yeah, right, of course. That's a normal thing to do."
"Exactly. So all I do is ask her what's wrong, and she just turns to me and says, in the most dramatic voice I've ever heard come out of her mouth, 'you wouldn't understand'. Winston couldn't help but burst out into a fit of laughter upon hearing Sam's Kaitlyn impression. It sounded like a chain smoker who had just gargled a mouthful of vinegar. Surprisingly accurate, though.
She continued. "So of course, I try my best to ask her if she could maybe tell me what's going on, so I could help. And then she rolls her eyes at me and says, "ugh, fine". She rolls her eyes at me, and all I'm trying to do is help!"
"Ugh, she's the worst," Winston interjected. "Did I tell you about the time she-"
"Yeah she is the worst," Sam agreed. "But shut up for a second, I'm trying to tell a story. You always do that, you know? Try to speak over people? It's not very nice." She lifted the corners of her mouth into a smile. "You know, I've noticed Brett is a great listener and always lets other people finish their stories. Maybe that's why people like talking to him so much."
"Hey! Low blow!" Winston protested. She's kind of right, though. Brett is a good listener... "...sorry, sorry, you're right. I get too excited sometimes. Please continue. I promise I won't say anything this time."
Sam grinned. "...swear on Dixie's life?"
"I swear." Fingers crossed, of course. No way I'm taking a risk on my baby girl.
"Alright then, where was I? Oh yeah. So she just rolls her eyes at me, as if I'm not even worth her time to talk to. I know I should've left at that point, but I always tell myself that every day is a new day, and everyone starts with a clean slate. No one on my shit-list."
"...but Kaitlyn just somehow ends up on your shit-list every morning, without fail?"
"Exactly!" Sam beamed. "She's always the first one there! So I stick with her and ask her what's wrong. And apparently, you remember when a bird pooped on Bayleigh's shoulder a few days ago in the backyard?" Winston nodded. "Well, apparently, she saw that as a sign from her Grandpa Lou that Bayleigh needed to be her next target. And she was crying because..." Sam settled into her Kaitlyn impression once again. "Bayleigh is my friend, a true friend, but Grandpa Lou is family and he's always looking out for me. It sucks so much, but I know I have to trust that this is all for the highest good!"
Winston was in hysterics by the time Sam finished her Kaitlyn impersonation. "Oh my gosh, that is unbelievable! Did she say anything about-" Winston pitched up his voice and dropped it into his throat-"stepping into her own truth?" He was stifling a laugh partway through his own impression, but it was enough to make Sam laugh so hard she knocked her sewing pin off her bed. She didn't pay it any attention, though.
"Probably, at some point, yeah. But, I know she has her own beliefs and all and I don't want to disrespect them, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't even the same pigeon she called 'Grandpa Lou' last time!"
"Right, it could've been her cousin or something instead," Winston joked.
"Or her boyfriend," Sam quipped.
Winston's jaw dropped. Holy shit, where has this girl been the past month?
The two just stared at each other for a few seconds before they both burst out into fits of laughter. When they finally regained their composure, Winston said, "Oh my gosh Sam, that was brutal. I didn't even think of going there."
Sam was still smiling, but she looked down at her handkerchief. "I know, that was too far. I should leave him out of this."
"It was funny, though," Winston conceded. "...how did you even get out of that conversation? I mean, she doesn't talk to me much, but Brett says she's a stage 5 clinger when she's upset."
Sam looked like she was stifling a laugh.
"...what is it, Sam?"
She grinned. "Well...", she started before drawing a deep breath. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise this stays between us. No one else. Not even Brett. Especially not Brett."
"I promise. No wait, I swear," Winston amended.
"All right, I'll tell you. This is really bad..." Sam drew a breath again.
"...I told her that she was clearly undergoing a lot of emotional distress, and that she should go talk to Brett because he was a very good listener and cared about her a lot. That, and he gave great massages."
Winston's mouth hung wide open. He was speechless.
"...you are evil, Sam. That was so, so evil."
"I know," Sam admitted sheepishly. "I felt so terrible when she took my advice. Brett's been nothing but nice to me this entire time, and then I redirect Hurricane Kaitlyn his way when he least expects it. I just didn't know what else to say, but I also really didn't want to deal with her, either... I feel so bad about it."
"No, don't," Winston dismissed. "He deserves it for handing out back massages like candy. If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned."
Sam chuckled. "Aren't you glad Kaitlyn doesn't go to you for comfort? That's something you have that Brett doesn't."
"Yeah," Winston agreed sarcastically. "I'll make sure to count my blessings with that one." I guess that is something, though...
Eventually, the laughter subsided. The Have-Not room was quiet again. Winston's arm was starting to fall asleep, so he shook it out and readjusted his position in the saucer. He pulled one leg entirely into the dish and curled it behind him.
Sam cleared her throat. "How much longer until eviction rehearsal?" she asked solemnly.
"Umm... half an hour? 45 minutes? To be honest, I'm not sure..." He really wasn't sure how long it had been.
Sam lowered her gaze, and cleared her throat again. "...that's not much time left, is it? Well, if you want to get in some last-minute one-on-ones with some other people, I'm almost done with my little project, so feel free to use the-"
"No, Sam," Winston interjected. "I'm not going to earn any other votes this close to eviction, I know it. My alliance, they're voting to keep Brett, I just know it. They haven't told me, but I'm not an idiot, I can tell when they're avoiding me and dodging my questions." He paused. "...you asked me to be honest with you, to be blunt if I have to, so I will."
Come on, man. Just ask.
Fuck it, here goes.
"Sam, you're my only hope. I know you never know for sure, but everything up until now has made me feel like it's gonna be me leaving tonight. And even if I don't, then that means Brett is going, and I don't want that either."
Sam was silent. Winston bit his lip. " ...I know we haven't talked much until today-at least not as much as I thought we did-but I really enjoyed just chilling here with you. Like you said, I was just being myself. Honestly, part of it might have to do with my slim pickings, but at this point I think you're one of my closest friends here." He chuckled nervously. "I know it's kind of depressing, but it's probably true..."
Winston felt Sam's eyes boring right into him, and he felt like he had to keep going. "...if you still don't want to save me tonight, I completely understand. One silly conversation doesn't make up for weeks of barely even talking, I know." He sighed. Well, even if you screw this up too, you could at least do one last thing for him...
"...but if you don't feel comfortable saving me tonight, would you at least be OK with saving Brett? I know he's probably not going home tonight, but if he somehow does... I'll make sure he holds up all the promises I made with you. He'll keep you safe, he'll keep Scottie safe." Winston hesitated for a second, but he continued. "Brett's great at this game. I know you like him more, I completely understand why. Everyone likes him, he's good at comps, he's loyal, he's got a good head on his shoulders... he can get you guys far. And if it comes down to it next week and he has to choose between one of you guys and me... I'll make sure he chooses you guys, for saving him this week. He'll do it if I ask him to." That much I can count on.
Sam still remained quiet, and to Winston it felt like ages before she finally spoke. "...it's very sweet of you to put your friend first," she began quietly. "But I'm not about secondhand negotiations or dealing with middlemen, if Brett wants to make a deal with me he, he can do it himself." She furrowed her eyebrows. "And I never said I liked Brett better, please don't put words in my mouth. All I said is that he felt more genuine to talk to, but after today I feel like... you can be genuine too."
What do I say to that? Winston struggled to find the right words. "...thank you, Sam. I really apprecia-"
"Shhh, shut up before I lose my nerve." She bit her lower lip. "...I've only told Tyler this, but I was already debating whether or not I should use my power this week. The only reason I was so hesitant is because I didn't want to hurt Scottie or lose Tyler's trust, since he's the reason I'm here right now. And like I said, I try to have the backs of people that have mine. ...this next part stays strictly between us. You can't even tell Brett. Promise?"
Winston nodded solemnly. "I promise." Is it really necessary to make a separate promise to not tell Brett every time?
Sam drew a deep breath. "Alright. You were right. My power gives someone a chance to return to the house after they're evicted. I don't really know what that means, but it's not a guarantee. It's a chance. But the thing is, I can only use it of my own, um, accord for three weeks. It gets automatically used on the fourth, whether I want it to or not. Which means-"
"That this is the last week you can use it!" Winston exclaimed excitedly.
Sam did not look amused. Her eyes were shooting daggers right at him. Stop interrupting, you idiot. Winston gave an embarrassed look and mimed zipping his mouth closed.
Sam groaned. "Don't make me regret telling you this." She planted her hands behind her onto the covers on either side of her body. "...but you're right, this is the last week I can use it voluntarily. If I don't, then next week, I don't get a choice, it's used on whoever is evicted. I think."
...she's not even sure?
"Anyways, so that's why I was on the fence about using it this week even though some people-wait, not just Scottie?-have been telling me to save it. I know you and Brett both voted for me to stay the first week, so I felt like I owed you guys at least a little bit of gratitude. Especially because when I really thought about it, I would really hate it if I didn't use it this week, and I ended up saving someone like Kaitlyn next week. Then it would really have been a waste." Winston nodded in agreement, but kept his mouth shut tight. Not gonna screw this one up this time.
Sam sighed. "So, I'm not sure if it's just the nerves from eviction night, or the fact that Kaitlyn told me this morning to ask the DR for some wine even though she knew I was a Have-Not, but I really don't want this power that America gave me to just go to whoever. I want it to go to someone that... I can trust and live with moving forward."
She drew her hands together and took a deep breath. "So, here is my proposal to you." Shit, is this really happening!? "If-and that's a big 'if', I were to use my power on you tonight, you have to promise me three things."
"Anything, anything at all, I'll do it." Winston was so close he could taste it.
"First of all," Sam held up a finger. "You have to make good on your deal. You and Brett have to keep me and Scottie safe for as long as you can. You swore."
"Yeah, of course! Hundo-p! Brett will not have a problem with it, and we'll start winning competitions next week to make sure it's not even an issue." That's what you said last week too, just saying...
"Secondly," she said as she raised another finger. "You have to start over with everyone on a clean slate, like it's Day 1 all over again. No hard feelings or grudges or anything. You have to be yourself and try to talk to everyone. Even Rockstar. Even Kaitlyn."
"I can definitely do that. It'll be like a totally new game for me."
"I gave the same advice to Swaggy last week. 'Sunshine Swaggy,' we called it." She smiled wistfully. "I hope he's still trying to be that Swaggy now..."
Winston ignored the unsettling implications that Sam had unintentionally made by comparing him to an evicted houseguest.
Sam shook herself out of her reflectiveness. "...where was I? Oh, third!" She held up a third finger. "You have to be honest with Brett and tell him exactly how you've been feeling."
Winston was puzzled. "What does that mean, exactly? I think everyone knows that I tell him everything."
"I mean you have to tell him what you told me just today, about how he makes you feel sometimes."
Well that totally doesn't sound weird at all.
"...I don't know what you mean, Sam. we really do already tell each other pretty much everything. Hell, we tell each other when we're about to take a shit so we know where to look if we need each other." That sounds weird when you say it out loud. "I feel like you can't be much more open than that. We're bros!"
Sam cocked her head. "...did you tell him that you feel like he's better than you with the ladies and you feel like you can barely keep up?"
"Yeah, I do actually." Winston huffed. "And he knows it, we joke about it all the time."
"Does he know how much it really bothers you, or how much you actually think about it, or how much you sometimes wonder if you'd have it easier if you were more like him?"
Jesus, she was not holding back. "...I mean, those things are sort of implied... he probably already knows. It's just weird to bring those up, especially as a guy... it seems so needy."
"Well you told me all those things today, and now I feel like I know you a million times better than I did before! It might be weird, but it really shouldn't be. And if anything, Brett has a thing for neediness or something." She laughed. "You can't possibly spend that much time with Kaitlyn unless you secretly enjoy it. Or you hate yourself."
"Well I hate myself and I can't stand her, so I guess it must be the first one," Winston joked.
"Exactly!" she beamed. "And there's probably a bunch of other things you haven't told me that you should tell him. It's all about honesty." There's that word again. "And you may not realize it," Sam added, "but there are probably a million things that Brett thinks you do better than him, too. I just think that, if you both can open up about all the mushy-gushy stuff with each other, you guys won't feel so pressured to play up this whole "bro" thing to the rest of the house. It's almost like you're acting for each other, but as a consequence, the rest of the house doesn't really get to know the real Winston, or the real Brett. They only know, you know, 'Brad and Chad' or whatever you guys call it." She rolled her eyes.
"It's not an act!" Winston protested. "And everyone loves Brad and Chad!"
Sam grimaced. What? I thought they were a great bit...
Winston hesitated. "...fine. I'll have a heart-to-heart with Brett, and I'll tell him all the stuff I told you today."
"And all the stuff you haven't told me today!" Sam added.
"That too."
Sam paused for a second, in thought. Then, she said, "And you have to do it within 12 hours of the eviction!"
"Seriously?!" Winston exclaimed. "Did you just add that part in to fuck with me?"
"I just don't want to leave any loopholes, so you can't sneak around it by waiting until I'm evicted or something like that. That's one thing I learned from my time as a contractor: be loose as a whore's lips when you're havin' a drink, but tight as a maiden's when it comes time to think. Did I ever tell you that I used to be a contractor? It was back before I-"
"-sorry Sam, but I might be going home in half an hour, could you tell me that story another time? We were making a deal here."
"Pushy," Sam scoffed. "Alright, so you agree to all three of my requests?"
Winston put his hand over his heart. "I swear on my life."
Sam shook her head. "No, that's not good enough. For something like this, we need something stronger."
Winston raised an eyebrow. Sam raised her right hand and extended her little finger. "A pinky-swear," she said, stone-faced.
She can't be serious. But when Sam left her hand raised in waiting, he knew she wasn't. Winston sighed. "Pinky-swear," he said as he locked his right little finger against hers.
Winston got up from his saucer to hug her, and she obliged. Sam remained seated. She pointed a finger directly into his face. "If you tell anyone about this deal we just made, even Brett, it's off. You pinky-swore."
Winston raised both of his hands up in surrender. "I won't, Sam. I promise." He lowered his arms and bent down slightly to look her in the eyes. "...thank you Sam. Thank you so, so much. You won't regret this. I can't tell you enough how much I'll owe you one for this."
Sam just smiled at him and shrugged. Winston started to turn around to leave, but he felt like he still had one more question to ask.
"...hey, what about Tyler? Are you sure he's gonna be OK with this?"
Idiot. Such an idiot. You had it. Why the hell would you ask that?!
Sam hesitated. "I dunno... I guess maybe I should've asked..."
Congratulations, you had it in the bag, and then you managed to fucked up again. Nice going, Dr. Winston.
Surprisingly, Sam just shrugged again. "...but I suppose it's still my power at the end of the day. ...what did you call me earlier? Oh yeah. Let's just say "dark" Sam made this deal. And she's not very thrilled with Tyler for telling people about her power app even after she specifically told him not to."
Winston couldn't help but grin. "Dark Sam sure is one vindictive lady. But I like her."
"Dark Sam? Who's that?" Sam asked, looking bewildered. "Anyways, you should go finish getting ready. I'm still not sure how this app thing works, so I'll have to talk to them about it-" she directed her head towards a camera-"but I know it takes place after the eviction. So just sit tight and don't get your panties all up in a bunch."
"Thank you so much Sam, really. I mean it," Winston said as he started heading towards the door. "And that's a really pretty handkerchief you've made there, I love camo!" Especially when it's mine...
"Thank you, Winston," Sam replied. "...do you think it's big enough to smother Kaitlyn with yet? Someone has to keep her mouth shut for her."
By a vote of 6 to 5, Winston, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.
It was all a blur once Winston stood up from the nomination chair. He hugged Brett-a quick, stiff embrace-and gave everyone else he passed ones so light he was barely even touching them. 6 to 5? How? At some point he got a hair in his mouth-Haleigh's, maybe?-and tried his best to pretend it wasn't there so he wouldn't make yet another weird face on his way out the door. If he went out the door, that is. He still had no idea how Sam's power worked, and he had a strong feeling that she didn't really understand it either.
She would use it, right? She promised, just stay cool and have some faith. He's been telling himself to "stay cool" all week to be honest, with poor results. He grabbed his black duffel bag and headed for the exit.
Angela was standing by the door, in the elegant white dress that Winston remembered she wanted to wear for last week's eviction. He couldn't stop himself from feeling a dull tinge of resentment. She voted against me. Even though he'd known this whole game that if it ever came down to him and Brett, Level 6 wouldn't have much trouble cutting him loose, it still hurt. Especially since she hadn't said two words to him after the Veto ceremony. Maybe JC was right, maybe she did hate me this whole time an only wanted me around for a number. He hugged her tightly. She didn't look him in the eyes.
What's going on, Sam?
When Winston let Angela go, Brett had made his way to the door as well. Winston had already hugged everyone, so he wasn't quite sure what to do at this point. What does he want? A fist bump? A handshake? That elbow-thing I still don't really know how to do right? After standing there just staring at each other for a few seconds (Winston was really good at staring, apparently), Brett answered for him by pulling him in for a second hug. This one was closer, tighter than the last. Brett was holding him so firmly that Winston didn't even think he could break out if he tried. Fuck, I really have to work on arms more...
When they finally pulled apart, Brett gave him a curt nod downwards, which Winston reciprocated. Winston wasn't much of a hugger, but he was pretty sure that was a good hug.
Any minute now, Sam...
Winston scanned the crowd to find Sam's face, but she must have been behind someone because she was nowhere to be seen. Hesitantly, he pulled open the first set of doors out of the house. JC held it for him as he stepped over the threshold. If Sam had just been playing him this whole time... well, it'd be your fault for trusting her, wouldn't it? He grabbed the handle for the second door to o-
"Winston!"
He spun around to see JC through the doorway, jumping up and down and flailing his arms like a toddler on a sugar high. But even JC stopped and turned around to see Sam standing right behind him.
"Winston!" she shouted again, sounding louder now that everyone else had quieted down. "Come back!"
He didn't need to be told twice. Winston readjusted the bag strap on his shoulder and stepped over the threshold again, leaving one foot still in the small hallway. Everyone else had cleared from the entrance to the sides, so he could see Sam standing right in front of him, with her hair tied into a neat bun and her hands clasped by her waist.
Out of the corner of his eye, Winston saw Rockstar's jaw drop, as well as Fessy next to her looking even more confused than usual. But he paid them no mind; all of his attention was focused straight ahead on Sam. He waited for her to speak first.
"Winston, do you remember our deal?"
"Deal? What deal?" Winston faintly heard a voice in the back whisper-maybe Rachel to Angela? Guess I can keep a secret after all, Rachel...
His mouth felt dry, and his heart was beating a mile a minute. "Yeah, I do," he affirmed. All eyes were on him now. He instinctively straightened his back and stood up a bit taller, but he was still pretty sure his hands were shaking.
Sam nodded. "Alright then. A deal's a deal. Start the clock." Winston swallowed. He glanced over to Brett, who looked thoroughly confused. Sorry I couldn't say anything earlier, man...
Tyler was standing to the left of him. His face was a bit harder to read, but from what Winston could tell, he didn't look very pleased.
Sam turned to face the monitor in the living room. "Alright Julie, I'm using it," she announced, clasping her hands together in front of her chest.
The room was deathly quiet for a few seconds. Then, Julie's voice came over the speakers, a bit grainier than usual. "To reiterate, Sam, you wish you use your power app on Winston?"
Sam nodded. Winston heard JC utter a surprised expletive in Spanish somewhere behind him.
"Alright houseguests," Julie continued. "Please return to your seats in the living room immediately. As you now know, a power app has just been used. Sam has chosen to use her 'Bonus Life' app, which gives a just-evicted houseguest the chance to return to the game. Winston, please head upstairs to the app store room. The door is unlocked, please head inside immediately."
Winston didn't wait to gauge anyone's reactions before he booked it for the stairwell. "Are you sure about this?" he heard Tyler's voice whisper to Sam as he passed by. But either she didn't respond, or he was too much of a nervous wreck at the moment to hear her answer.
He took the steps two at a time. Looking down into the living room, he saw Bayleigh and Haleigh share a look of confusion with one another. Angela was staring down at her lap. Only Brett and Rachel seemed to be watching him ascend the stairs, while everyone else seemed to be finding the blacked-out monitor or the front wall infinitely more interesting at the moment.
Halfway to the top of the stairs, Winston felt a sudden pang of fear. What if this is a battle-back? What if I lose to Swaggy? Or hell, even Steve? I thought I was doing something right for Level 6 this time by getting back into the game, but what if I just made things even worse by bringing one of them back?
Nah, fuck it. If I don't get back in, it's not my problem anymore, is it?
Not that wasting this chance to return was an option, anyways. He had a deal with Sam. A pinky-promise. And as silly as it was, Winston was a little scared of what she would do if he couldn't hold up his end of the deal-which required him to still be here. Kaitlyn had told him and Brett about a hit she the first week about Sam, where she would end up "seriously injuring another houseguest, by accident or intention." It still hadn't happened yet, which was worrying.
Brett was counting on him, too, and wanted him to stay. Even though I haven't won a competition. Or made any alliances without him. Or done anything to help him out at all, really. Winston could do this at least for him. He just hoped it wouldn't be awkward after, you know, he spilled his heart out to him in a few hours. That part he really wasn't looking forward to.
Rachel and Angela are rooting for you too down there, you know? Winston knew deep down that it was true, which made him feel a little guilty for holding their votes against them. Kaycee and Tyler, too. Well, maybe not the last one. He could figure that out later.
Winston didn't have much time to consider any further implications before he found himself directly in front of the door. Without thinking, he pulled it open and stepped in, slamming the door shut behind him.
Just relax.
So what if half the house wanted you gone? You're not here for them.
It's a clean slate, you can start over.
Who are you trying to impress, anyways?
Relax.
