Disclaimer: The only thing mashed I own is potatoes!

"I think he's finally done it!"

"This one might actually get him out!"

"He really must be crazy!"

"I'm going to miss his crazy stunts,"

Nice to know I was appreciated at least, every comment I heard on my way to Colonel Potter's office was a message of hope, a light, a beacon! And as I put my hairy Lebanese leg on the Colonel's desk I was confident this time I was getting out.

Now after trying to get out of the army during Colonel potter's reign here, I've come to expect some of his reactions to my getups. But seeing Colonel Potter eye me in my red sequin dress, heels, gorilla costume and tiara, topped off with exaggerated makeup on the gorilla mask and two balloons under my dress making it look like my butt was huge, never did I expect for him to explode into a laughing fit! Sure I thought he might laugh! But never did I think he would laugh to the point of crying!

When he finished laughing I said "Sir, I know you're a married man but I want to be the gorilla your dreams."

That just made him laugh again. I took my leg off his desk and prepared for rejection, to be told no again. But I nearly had a heart attack when he actually gave me a Section 8! He said,

"Son, when I came here I never thought these shanagins would last past a week, but you obviously really want this. But before you decide to cash that in I want to tell you why I never let you have one before."

And he told me, he told me about how good I was with the wounded and how good a friend I was to everyone here, he told me a lot. And after he told me all that, I thought about it, really thought about it. And finally, I took the little paper of freedom back to Colonel potter and ripped it up. It seemed pointless to bother dressing up now. So I stopped, I slowly stopped dressing up. When people asked why I just said I gave up, everyone understood, after all I had been trying for a long time with no results.

Only one other person in the whole camp really knew why I quit, and he didn't tell anyone. I kicked myself a million times for ripping that section 8 up, but now I'm glad I did. I wouldn't have met my wife if I had used it. I wouldn't have the wonderful family I do. In all I think it was worth it.