Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even nothing.
WARNING: This is an OOC joint fanfic. It was written on a fit of permanent randomness & OOCness by one of my best friends, Fiona & I. I'm writing this chapter & Fiona's writing the next. I will always say when it's my chapter, & Fiona will probably always forget the disclaimer even though nothing belongs to her either.
Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya, head of the tenth division and the most chibi captain ever was working on paperwork when he suddenly stopped. A queer sound was coming through the open window. It went, in millions of very high-pitched voices; "Ching-ching, muahaha. Ching-ching, muahaha." He looked out the window and squealed in terror. Exactly fifty five million and one IceChipMuffins were rampaging through Soul Society, leaving ice statues in their wake and heading toward his chibi office. The ice cubes started out as shinigami, but the muffins bit them with tiny teeth and turned them to ice. He watched as Kenpachi, Byakuya, Soifon, and Renji went down fighting and will never again be mentioned until the second last chapter. When the IceMuffins moved on, all that was left of them were stylishly stylish ice statues which tended to go *sparkle sparkle*. Toshiro stared at a *sparkle sparkle*ing Soifon owlishly until he decided to stop. He then walked over to a bookshelf and pulled the book 'Diagrams of Poo' off the wall. The acclaimed bestseller made a random spacesuit *pop* into existence. Toshiro put it on; oblivious to the fact that armour is no defence against ice. He then walked out of the room to save Momo.
Toshiro nearly wet himself thinking about how he'd make his way through the deadly muffins without being bitten, UNTIL he remembered that he could run on air. So he began to merrily skip one hundred feet above the rabid IceMuffins. He actually managed to beat the IceMuffins to Momo's division's building, and jumped in through the window. Rukia, who had been having a playdate with Momo; dropped her Barbies and squealed at the sight of Toshiro. Incidentally, she squealed like Toshiro had earlier. Toshiro did a happy dance and skipped to Momo to give her a hug. Then, he said, "We are being invaded by killer muffins. These muffins are…muffins of mass destruction" Momo screamed. "Yes, I know Momo. It's scary. We must scream, run away, and panic in general to escape these malevolent muffins. " Rukia screamed, "SHADDUP!! Toshiro, we have a situation!!! Momo's been bitten by a muffin!!!" "Don't worry, one muffin isn't enough to kill her. It would take ten at lea- oh." He saw Momo. The ice statue of Momo shattered. Toshiro faceplanted and said, "I talk for one second and just look what happens…" and jumped out the window with Rukia. "What do we do now, boss?" Rukia asked cheerily, looking surprisingly happy despite the fact she'd just lost her best friend. This extremely unnerved Toshiro. "Err… we… go through that suspicious-looking vortex over there." "Yessir" saluted Rukia. She conjured a coconut shell out of thin air and they clip-cloppitied all the way into the vortex. They came out into a circle of strange people performing a strange ritual on a grassy field. The ritual randomly stopped as an unseen voice called, "Halt, my imaginary minions!!! Go poofie!!!" And all of the strange ritual performers disappeared into clouds of sparkly butterflies which, surprisingly, looked like Gin. A girl with bleached blonde hair and dressed in a purple-and-green dress said, "Hello, it's nice to meet you. The rules of this dimension dictate that I can't give out my name, so you may call me Ingledew. I'm the founder, director, chief chairman, etc of the CCPS, or Copywrited Character's Protection Society. We've brought you here to protect you from the evil muffins. FINALLY!!! My speech is over!!! I'm sorry, but that's the mandatory speech I have to say to all visitors of this area." And Ingledew ran up, squeed "It's Shiro!!!!!" and glomped him quite a few times while Rukia looked jealous. Toshiro looked blissfully out into the middle distance and said, "I could grow to like this place."
