I don't own bleach wish I did but I don't sad I know. The zanpakutou speaking well be in italics. Well I've been meaning to write an Ikkaku Yumichika fanfiction but it took me forever to get started and them I just didn't like the stories I came up with so I ended up writing this I hope you like it.
Beta reader: Nejilovesyaoi (thank you for the help :D)
Ok so this was looked over by Nejilovesyaoi and edited so from the 9/8/09 this was edited and I added some more things to it on 11/10/09.
Chapter 1: pain
Yumichika walked slowly back to his captains office he was going to ask for another mission to the world of the living. He felt so utterly hopeless he had known that his relationship with Ikkaku had been falling apart for a long time, but it didn't make it any easier to accept. He had never thought Ikkaku wouldn't hesitate to say those things he had known that it would happen but still he had hoped. What he hadn't known was that Ikkaku wouldn't come back for him at all. He walked in and tried to smile at his captain and vice-captain... but he couldn't Ikkaku had destroyed his heart, his very existence was shattered. He slowly sat down on the chair in front of his captain.
"What's wrong weirdo-chan?" Yachiru asked. As she and the captain turned to look at him. He smiled sadly and replied softly for the first time in a long time unsure of himself.
"It's nothing," Yumichika replied looking up at the small girl. "I wanted to know if there was a mission available for me?"
"You just came back from a mission, didn't you?" Kenpachi asked looking down at his fifth seat even though he would never admit it even if tortured he could tell that the slighter man was sad beyond words. 'Something most have happened while in the world of the living.' He thought. 'I'll send Yachiru to find out what.'
"Well... yes I did." Yumichika answered looking out the window behind his captain. He was searching for Ikkaku. Desperate to know where his lover or whatever they were now was.
"Them why do you want to go back?" He didn't really care but he knew that out of all his squad members Yumichika was the one that avoided anything that might get him dirty at all that included fighting. Added to that the fact that Ikkaku wasn't with him raised more questions.
"I just want a mission that's all."
"Find whatever you leave in two days." Kenpachi replied without any further questioning.
Yumichika stared out over sereitei he was back and would soon be gone again, but he knew that this might be the last time that he ever saw the beauty of this place again all because of his sword. All because Ikkaku hadn't accepted it. He wondered if he should stay here or just run and never come back. It hurt to know that he wasn't important enough for Ikkaku to forgive him it have been a whole day since Ikkaku had found out about Ruri'iro Kujaku and he still hadn't come back home. Why did it hurt so much? He was used to pain but this was much worse them anything that he had felt before.
Ikkaku had broken his heart and now he really didn't know what to do, at all. Yumichika stared at the open sky and smiled sadly today should have been a happy day after all they were back home after a three week mission yet there was nothing to be happy about. Yumichika headed for their home, an apartment, that should have been their vice-captains but she had given it to them. It had two rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a living room enough for the two of them. Yumichika looked at the kitchen how many times had he been in there cooking Ikkaku his favorite food for dinner or lunch and how many times had they kissed with all the passion in them or made love in that house? He didn't know. All he knew was that Ikkaku had left him for good. Yumichika wiped the tears that were running down his face away and walked to their room.
He opened the drawers and closets and took out everything he owned he had been thinking of given back everything Ikkaku had given him but it was to much to ask for all those little things and the expensive ones too, meant everything to him, and were all that he had left of what they once had together. Yumichika dragged out the beautiful blue kimono Ikkaku had given him a few months after they had met, it was old, but it meant so much to Yumichika he folded it neatly and got the suitcases that he'd be taking to the world of the living. He folded every kimono and kissed them most of them were gifts from Ikkaku. He heard the door opening and felt his heart lift it had to be Ikkaku. He realized instantly that it was Yachiru. He turned and watched as she walked into the room.
"What's wrong?" She asked as soon as she noticed the tears running down his face.
"I-its nothing." He barely managed to say those simple words.
"Them why are you crying? Did baldy hurt you?" Yumichika winced he knew his vice-captain would kill if those that she held dear were hurt by anyone. He looked at her softly and smiled sadly for the millionth time that day.
"It's nothing Yachiru we just had an argument. That's all." He told her turning back to his packing. Yachiru walked over to him and hugged him.
"Them why are you leaving?"
"I have too. I don't have anywhere to go now. I'll stay in the world of the living until Ikkaku forgives me."
"But... what if he doesn't forgive you?" Yumichika winced a little at that. He had already wondered the same thing, and knelt in front of her.
"Them.. this is.. goodbye Yachiru. Without Ikkaku next to me.... Well it'd be like you without Kenpachi." Yumichika had paused before the comparison he knew Yachiru wouldn't understand but he was glad to say goodbye to one of the few people he actually loved. He hugged Yachiru and went back to packing and soon he felt Yachiru hug him tightly before leaving.
'Why does this hurt? I thought that If I left them it would be better but.. I don't want to go. It hurts so much.'
Maybe because you're packing your bags and throwing away everything you ever cared about Yumichika.
He'd known it'd be like this; that Ikkaku would yell at him and look at him with anger and hatred. He'd known and still the pain was consuming him. It felt like his world was falling apart and there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he wanted was for Ikkaku to forgive him and for him to learn to love him again. Maybe someday, but right now he needed to get away from the pain in his heart.
So that's how the fifth seated officer of the eleventh squad got up and walked out of his old life, and turned his back on the person dearest to him; his one and only love. All he could feel was the pain in his chest and the tears running down his face as he reached the world of the living. As the wind blew he whispered his goodbye, knowing that no one could hear him or be there to comfort him as he drowned in his pain.
"Goodbye Ikkaku, I will forever love you and miss you. I hope that you'll be happy even if it is without me. Even if you can't share the happiness. Forgive me my love for the secret.
Plz review and make me a happy girl and It'll make me update sooner too ;)! This gets better I promise!!
I have reread my story and so far I have made to many mistakes so I am going to add to some chapters and take away or whatever I think is needed which means it well be a while before I add the last chapter or few chapters I'm not sure.
