In Midnight's Light

Chapter 1

kateandharvey

It was long after midnight. She couldn't be very sure of the time through her grief-filled haze, but it was definitely after midnight. Her red hat long-gone and her eyes filled with pressure from unshed tears, she could barely form a complete thought in her head. She was halfway through one thought when she had jumped to another. She pulled out a bottle of whiskey, but by the time she retrieved a glass, she didn't even feel like alcohol. You? Not feel like alcohol? she could hear Niles' quips even alone in her penthouse. No alcohol and she couldn't get the tears to come. It was much like Sara's death. The grief and depression and regret that hung in the air was too heavy to allow even tears to relieve it.

Now, she stood at the front door of the Sheffield mansion. If someone had asked her how she had come to her decision and made her way to the mansion, she wouldn't be able to answer. All she knew for sure was that there was a strong burning desire inside of her. It was a burning she had never experienced before. It was a passion, a feeling, coursing through her veins and taking residence in her soul. She just had to do something.

She uncharacteristically curled her hands around her eyes and pressed her face to the door. Through the glass, she tried to see if anyone was walking around in the darkness inside. While trying to make out where the thin stream of light she saw was coming from, the feeling inside of her bubbled up. Without giving a second thought, she reached into her pocket and used her spare key to open the front door.

Stepping into the den, she grew more and more anxious with each heel-click on the tile. Stepping down, she realized that the stream of light she had seen was peaking through the door from the kitchen. On this night, CC Babcock didn't know much, but she knew who would be on the other side of the swinging door.

Later she would blame it on liquid courage even though she knew she hadn't had a drop of it. Slowly, she approached the kitchen door.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to gather her thoughts enough to know what she was going to say. The Niles she had gotten earlier was cruel and mean and hurt. She didn't know which version of the witty butler she would get tonight. She closed her eyes, and basked in the moment of silence before she would willingly help all hell to break loose behind the door.

Slowly, she raised her glove-covered hand to the door. Her palm lay flat against the wood.

"What are you doing here?" The voice came from behind her, startling her, and causing her to turn so fast she nearly fell over.

Sure enough, there he stood. Still in his work uniform, Niles looked… she searched for the word. Tired her brain supplied. His hair was disheveled and his tie was gone. The top two buttons of his dress shirt were undone, and he held a glass in his hand.

Ignoring his question, she gestured to his glass. "What are you drinking?"

He huffed, shaking his head. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "Nothing." At her look, he met her face- not her eyes, but close- and explained, "It's Mr. Sheffield's from the office." She nodded. "I was just headed back to the kitchen to wash it."

She knew they had a dishwasher, so why he was handwashing glasses, especially one by one did not make any sense to her, but it wasn't why she had come. As if sensing her thoughts, he repeated, "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged, glancing at the ceiling. With a sad smile, she replied, "I don't know." His brow raised only slightly, but she caught it. "I don't know, Niles."

He nodded, as if accepting that this was the truth, and headed past her into the kitchen. As he predicted, she followed behind him. He busied himself with washing the glass as she looked at him, silent. He had already dried the glass and put it away when he finally spoke. He wasn't as polite. "If you aren't going to talk, Babcock, I'm going to call it a night."

Her eyes met his across the dimly lit kitchen and if he didn't know her, he would have missed the slight glossiness in her eyes. "I know I'm supposed to say something, Niles, but I don't know what."

He was angry. He was tired and heartbroken, and bitter. He responded without a thought, "Well isn't that great?" He was sarcastic. She braced herself. "Finally, the blonde socialite realizes something she should do. But yet, she finally has a moment where she doesn't know everything. Would you imagine that?"

She was CC Babcock. She didn't let him deter her. "Dammit, Niles, I'm trying."

He came around the counter to stand in front of her. Sleeves rolled up, he leaned back against the island. They were no more than two feet apart. "Trying for what?"

CC's eyes searched the room for anything to focus on that wasn't the butler. "I'm trying," she began, willing her voice not to crack, "to do the right thing."

He scoffed, and immediately began to walk away. "The right thing? So that's what this is? Some pity visit to make yourself feel better? So maybe we can be friends down the road?" She stayed silent. "That's a crock of shit and you know it as well as I do. We've never been friends, Babcock. We certainly won't be friends after this."

Frantic to get him to stay, she raised her voice slightly and spat out, "Aren't we?" She sounded like a small child and she hated herself for it.

Because it was after midnight. Because she was in front of him. Because he was tired and hurt and angry and he'd lost it all anyways. Because she was so goddamn beautiful in the faint light from the kitchen, he answered, "Friends don't want to have sex with their friends, CC."