I'm not that girl

He left me, he left me for her. What did she have that I didn't; I sank on to my bed, the doctor this doctor left me for some French whore. I lay on my back just staring at the blank ceiling; my heart felt like it was in a million pieces,

Hands touch, eyes meet

Sudden silence, sudden heat

I remembered the first time the doctor had taken my hand, I felt something that I'd never felt before, he was perfect, I wasn't but he didn't care. He loved me for who I was but did this new man with a new face who claimed to my doctor feel the same or was I just holding on to a dream. I allowed one tear to slip from my eyes.

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl

He could be that boy.

I loved the doctor even though he was old enough to be my great, great, great and so on grandfather. I loved his big ears and weird grin. I sighed this doctor was really good looking, that was probably why she had loved him so much, this Reinette woman who stole the doctors heart, I wished the old doctor was here he would have never ever kissed her, I wished I was like her, I was just boring old rose Tyler, boring hair, boring eyes, boring looks.

But I'm not that girl

She had everything; Reinette was perfect beautiful perfect, and everything I couldn't be.

Don't dream too far, don't lose sigh of who you are.

Don't remember that rush of joy.

I heard a gentle knock on the door,

"Mickey I love you darling but for once in you're life can you just piss off and leave me alone." I yelled.

"It's not Mickey." Came the voice.

"Even more reason for you to piss off!" I screamed. The doctor was the last person I wanted to see, normally he was the first and only person I wanted to see, I was shocked at how quickly one woman could change me view on the man I love, no loved, I couldn't love a guy who left me to party with a cheap French whore.

He could be that boy.

But I'm not that girl.

"Rose can I talk to you?"

This guy just didn't give up.

"No go away I'm sure you'd much rather talk to Reinette." I yelled.

"I'm coming in."

"Don't you dare?" I screamed

The door knob turned and the door opened.

Ever so often they long to steal,

To a land of what might have been.

I had a vision of the doctor running into my room, tears flowing down his cheeks, which is ruffled hair, his new head and body wasn't that bad, he would come over to me tell me he was stupid to leave me and he never loved Reinette and he always loved me.

But that doesn't soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.

However, that vision was far from the truth, the doctor wasn't crying he just wandered into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, he looked at me and offered a small smile, one which I found hard to return.

"Rose I'm sorry." He said looking at his feet.

"Forget it doctor." I said, gazing at anything but him.

"Rose please." He begged.

"Please leave me alone." I rolled over so my back was to him. He didn't leave.

"Reinette will be travelling with us I saved her just in time."

Before I could say the French whore wandered in to my room in my clothes.

Blithe smile, lithe limb.

She who winsome.

She wins him.

I looked at her, she looked at me and smiled I couldn't like her, I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.

Gold hair with a gentle curl

That's the girl he chose.

"Doctor I'm hungry." She wined at him; he stood up and took her hand.

They reached the door before he turned to face me.

"You coming."

I nodded and stood.

And heaven knows

I'm not that girl

We walked in silence down the corridor Mickey was in the kitchen I watched the doctor wrap him arms around me.

I wished it was me he was holding

Don't wish, don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart.

I gave my head a little shake as Mickey pulled me into a hug, I sighed into his shoulder he rubbed my back , I had Mickey which was better then no one I thought.

I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl

There's a girl I know.

I looked at Reinette and the doctor and allowed a muffle sob to escape my lips who was I to compete with royalty. I watched the doctor kiss her and wished I could feel his lips.

He loves her so

I'm not that girl.

No matter how much I hated it I would have to get on with it, the doctor fell in love

With a girl that wasn't me and I could never be the girl of his dreams.