Together When...
-Umi & Clef-
Disclaimer: I do not owe these characters or MKR. They all do belong to CLAMP.
Notes: this is a song by Ayumi Hamasaki, I thought it would fit Umi's feelings after she came back from Cephiro.
The *-------* part is the translation of the original Japanese lyrics. Enjoy!
Bokutachi wa kokoro ni onaji
Kizuato wo nokoshi nagara
Sei wo muketa mama furikaerazuni
Sotto tsuyoku arukidashimashita
*We started to walk calmly and determinedly
With the same scar in our hearts
With our backs to each other
Without looking back*
It was the end. What else could we do? Probably a quick, sudden separation was the best thing. In the end it avoided us a very awkward situation. Telling goodbye without being able to look at each other, make the whole thing looking less tragic, less dramatic. Or at least it avoids me to burst in crying like some corny scene in some old, sappy film. In the end that was the best thing. Maybe...
Kawaranai hitotsu no mono wo
Mitsuketa to shinjite ita
Futari wa sore ga kawatte iku no wo
Kanjite ippo hanareta
Yagate sara ni ippo hanareta
Kizutsuka nai you ni
*We believed
We found out one unchanged thing
But we felt it was changing
And took a step back
Another step back afterwards
So as not to be hurt*
We knew that our simple close friendship was becoming something more. Much more deeper. We could feel it every time we were alone: our silence was tale telling enough. Our gazes weren't simple friendly gazes, they were full of...love. so were our hugs, the tone of our voice...everything. but we couldn't. You were the Master Mage and I wasn't Cephran and soon I'd had to go back home. How could it last? We could just pretend it was nothing and bury our feelings in some dark corner inside our soul. That was the only way we had not to hurt each other.
Arigatoutte iitakatta
Arigatoutte ienakatta
Datte sore ja maru de eien no
Sayonara mitai de kanashi sugiru kara
Itsuka mata boku wa boku ni umarekawatte
Kimi wo sagasu tabini deru n darou
*I wanted to say "Thank you"
I couldn't say "Thank you"
Because it's like "Good-bye forever"
And too sad
Maybe I shall be born again to myself some day
And start a journey to seek for you*
I still can't believe we parted this way. It was too sudden. I had so many things to tell you...oh Clef! do you remember that night? When I apologized to you and it ended up with you thanking me? Well, you shouldn't have done it. you had nothing to thank me for, I did it because I learned to love Cephiro and its people. And I should have thanked you, because you taught me to do it. And because you were always there for me, without treating me like a Magic Knight, but just like a girl who needed help and comfort. I couldn't tell you that night and I couldn't before our sudden departure. I hadn't the time. But even if I did, I'd probably never do it, because it would have sounded like some clichéd goodbye speech and really, I can't even think that I won't see you again. You know, here we have a tale about a red thread that links people destined to be together...after all we went through, I'm sure that we're linked in this way. I could be born thousands of times, but I'm sure that'd be destined to be with you anyway...it's one of those things you feel inside, a strange feeling that you can't explain but you know that can't be denied.
Aru nichi futo shita shunkan ni
Jibun de eranda hazu no
Atarashikute minarenu keshiki ni
Sukoshi tomadotte itara
Maru de kimi no you na yasashii
Kaze ga fukinukemashita
*One day
When I happened to be puzzled a little
By a new and unfamiliar view
Which I must have chosen
The gentle wind just like you
Blew by me*
When I decided to keep my love a secret, I felt sick. No one knew then. The first period back on Earth was like hell...I missed you with my whole heart. I missed you so much that it hurt me. But I could feel you around, somehow. I still can. I don't know if it's really you or I'm just getting insane, all I know is that sometimes, during those rainy night, when I feel terribly alone, I can feel a soothing presence around me. And it warms my heart, it helps me to feel less lonely and to hope that it can't and won't end like this.
Aishiteru to iitakatta
Aishiteru to ienakatta
Dakedo sore wa boku no saidai no
Uso de ari shinjitsu datta you na kigasuru
Itsuka mata boku wa boku ni umarekawatte
Kimi wo sagasu tabini deru n darou
*I wanted to say "I love you"
I couldn't say "I love you"
But I feel it was both my biggest lie
And the truth
Maybe I shall be born again to myself some day
And start a journey to seek for you*
"Clef! Clef I...I lov- never mind"
"Thank you, Umi"
Clef...I feel so stupid for not letting those words to slip out of my mouth...I was almost there. Would have changed something? Would you answered to me with the same words? I was afraid, I didn't want my heart to break. I love you. They're just three words, but they are so heavy word to say! The feeling behind them can't be described. What if I was mistaken? If it wasn't love? I'm only 14, for Selece's sake! Yet, my sentiments for you are so strong, so rushing...gods, I'm getting confused myself. No, who I want to tease? I love you Clef, I'm regretting not having told you. That's why I can't accept that I will see you never again. No, it can't be so. I'll find you again, even if have to search the whole lifetime. And if I can't do it now, then I want to be born again, just to keep searching for you so that I can tell you. I love you, and I want you to know it. those gazes, those hugs, those simple gestures...we both know that they were much more than what they seemed. This secret that we are keeping inside us, I won't it to be a secret anymore. I love you Clef. And I'll find you and I'll tell you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
