Okay! Taking a quick break from These Things We're Not Allowed to Do! Why? Because this popped into my head thanks to a comic I was shown by a friend. I had to get it out. I'm not sure if this constitutes as a crack-fic or not, but it makes me smile. Why? Because Sephiroth and Aeris (I'm using her original spelling for this) express the same annoyance/rage as I did over this event in the game!

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

ONWARDS!


What Really Happened and After


"Noooo! A-aeris! N-no! How can you be gone? It's not fair!" Cloud sobbed, completely seeming to over-react in Sephiroth's opinion.

The silver-haired male leaned back against nothing and crossed his arms, watching the entire show with a mixture of amusement and perplexity. Annoyance was quickly joining in his list of emotions at the moment. The blond was really not showing his intelligent side. Seriously, how many times had they all 'died' in the last several nights of this entire journey? And how many times had they been brought by through a simple use of a Phoenix Down? Sephiroth knew more than well enough that those idiots had suffered far more serious injuries than a simple stab in the back.

Really, how dumb could you get?

"Aeris...Aeris, please. Don't leave us! We need you!"

With a disgusted growl, the legendary SOLDIER straightened up and stalked over to the idiot where he was holding the damn Cetra's body, "Give me a break, you blubbering baby. Just use a Phoenix Down, for Ifrit's sake!"

"No, no. That won't work. She's dead."

"Please, I just stabbed her—"

"D-E-A-D. It's too late!"

"You idiot, it—"

"She's one with the life stream now! How can we defeat you without her?"

Sephiroth paused, glaring irritably at the other for several moments. "You know what? Whatever. You're too stupid to understand what I'm saying."

That done, he spun around and stalked off back through the city, storming through the rest of the heroes on his way out. They were smart, and didn't try to stop him. Merely ran down to the pool where Cloud most likely still was kneeling with the Cetra's body. Probably they were also too stupid to realize that all this had a simple solution, and would join in the needless mourning.

Why did he care whether or not they had brains enough to just use the stupid feather? After all, this meant that they would be two times less likely to foil his plan! Sephiroth smirked to himself, a right bit more cheerful as that thought ran through his head. No Cetra girl to call on Holy and counter the Black Materia. Yes, Ifrit was smiling upon him it seemed. His plans would come together smoothly thanks to their stubborn stupidity. Chuckling under his breath, Sephiroth's laughter slowly grew louder until it was a full-out maniacal cackle, carrying over the surface of the world and startling many a wild animal.

--After the Final Battle--

Sephiroth sat in the middle of his prison in the Life stream, watching as the irritable Aeris paced back and forth in front of him. Why him? Why?

"I can't believe they didn't revive me! How could they just let me die like that? And from a stupid stab wound! Tseng was stabbed, too, but he got to live!" The brunette raged to him, flailing her arms, "The Turks are smarter than those-those- jerks! How could they?"

Zack wrung his hands from where he was standing beside Sephiroth's seat, "Now, honey..."

"Don't you 'now, honey' me! He was mimicking your personality! So this is as much your fault as it is his!" She jabbed a finger towards Sephiroth, who immediately held up his hands.

"Hey! Don't blame me because you were traveling with fucking idiots!" The silver haired male snapped, eyes narrowing in temperament.

"Watch your language, mister, or I'll take soap to your mouth!" The girl threatened, shaking her fist.

Just as he was about to protest, Zack stopped his newly-sane best friend, "No, no. Take her seriously. You don't want to challenge her when she gets like this. Trust me." The dark-haired boy winced slightly, "When it actually happened, I got stuck with the brunt of it. Angeal had never seen me as often as he did then."

"Sounds like she had a rough transitory period..." Sephiroth shook his head, "Some people just don't know when to let go..."

"Yeah, seriously. I mean, I know of someone else just like her, too." The spiky-haired male grinned at his friend devilishly.

"Zack..."

"Male, silver hair..."

"Don't you dare."

"Big, giant sword about the same size as the stick up his a—"

"That's it." Sephiroth lunged, tackling Zack to the ground, both now completely ignoring the still-raging Aeris and being ignored in return.

They wrestled on the ground for some time before a strong arm wrapped around each of their middles and yanked them apart. Zack slumped into Angeal's hold with a pout at his fun being ruined, while Sephiroth elbowed out of the grip and straightened his appearance. His hair, being much longer than Zack's, looked much worse after the tussle. It took a moment to fix it, but once he did he spared a light glare towards his friend for interrupting them.

"How is it that you two always wind up doing this? Every time." The stern SOLDIER demanded, finally setting Zack down once he was sure they wouldn't pounce each other again.

"Because over-powering Fair is far more entertaining than being ranted at." Was the simple reply that came from the silver-haired male, accompanied by a shrug.

"The rant is supposed to be your punishment, Seph."

"Yeah, well, I've never been much one for tradition, so forgive me if I don't deem to sit and patiently listen to her vent her frustrations." Smirking, Sephiroth tilted his head to the side and nodded towards the still ranting Aeris, "Besides, she's still going so I assume there's no issue."

Sighing, Angeal rubbed his temples and shook his head, "You' two... You're going to be the death of me..."

"That's not funny." Both Zack and Sephiroth chimed at the same time, frowning at the older male.

After all, Zack had been the death of Angeal, technically; as the younger male had been forced to kill him. Sephiroth, on the other hand, had been the death of quite a list of people. Both before, during, and after his bout of Jenova induced insanity. Thus, the claim was lost to them both and only served to bring up bad memories. Angeal sighed again and reached out to ruffle Zack's hair before catching hold of Sephiroth and giving him a brief, reassuring hug.

"Relax. It's not possible here." He told them both, before glancing over towards Aeris, "Anyways... I was supposed to come and retrieve you three for the gathering about..." He trailed off and turned a careful gaze on Sephiroth.

"It's fine, you can say it." The silver-haired male rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to freak every time someone says it, okay?"

"Then why don't you ever say it?" Zack asked innocently, wincing at the glare he received, "Okay, okay, so we gotta go to the meeting about how to wipe Jenova away completely."

Despite his words, Sephiroth flinched at the name and turned his gaze away. Aeris had stopped her rants, as well, and was watching them with a worried frown. Sighing, Angeal set a hand on his friend's shoulder and the four headed back out of the room. It was going to be a very trying meeting...

By the end of it all, Sephiroth was relieved with the decided outcome. They were going to search for a way to destroy the alien completely or, at the very least, a way to send her away from the Planet. Until then, the bitch was going to remain in a very tightly sealed prison in the deepest reaches of the Planet's core. Seven different cells all inside one-another at the very bottom of an impossibly long staircase. The cells had no keys or known way of opening; only the Goddess herself would know if Jenova ever managed the impossible and escaped. The top of the staircase was surrounded for miles on end by barren wasteland littered with those mounds in the ground that would randomly explode with scorching hot steam. Not a place anyone would ever want to go to, let alone travel indefinitely through trying to find a near-invisible staircase.

The silver-haired male, of course, didn't know any of this. He simply knew that the Planet herself had promised that the calamity was locked away beyond reach and he shouldn't bother himself with wondering further. Sephiroth had a feeling that they didn't trust him with the details of her imprisonment, and was content with that. He didn't trust himself either and was quite happy to go through eternity ignoring Aeris' constant, various rants with his friends; no longer thinking about Jenova.


There it is! Just my little bit of craziness. It's been awhile since I pushed out a fic for FFVII, anyways. It was due.

Sephiroth: She's insane. I'm always involved! Help me.

Dn'LAngel: Oh, stop it. I treat you well.

Sephiroth: Says you!

Cloud: At least you're not depicted as an idiot.

Genesis: At least you're in the stupid thing. What about me? I'm not even mentioned!

Dn'LAngel: Well, that's obvious! Because you're not even dead yet! So stop whining. - .-

Sephiroth: Should anyone share Genisis' opinion, feel free to share ideas on how to fix this via Review. That's right. Press the button. You know you want to. .. ... .. . .. ... . ...DO IT OR DIE.