Written for the prompt as requested by lucidiux or Caiti with Starshipping on Tumblr:
Send me a "Important" and I'll write a drabble about one character explaining why the other is so important to them
So this is not exactly a drabble as you can see, because essentially I feel that something as profound as the meaning of one person's presence to the other cannot be elaborated in a few hundred words - with a proper setting and conversation, that is (or maybe I just allowed my bad habit of dragging on, but hey, who's complaining about too much Starshipping?)
Completed at 3AM and some details may not match the canon, some grammar or spelling may not be correct - please bear with me and enjoy your cheesy dose of this wonderful ship.
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"I think he had nightmares"
Yusei looked up from Judai – who was sprawled on their sofa, head on his laps, breathing softly with a small smile on his face – and gave Asuka a questioning look. They had just returned from a day out with their friends – to the amusement park, where they had fun until Judai and Sho along with the passengers were stuck on top of the roller coaster 50 meters off the ground for half an hour before the engine was fixed and they got to the ground safely. For the rest of the evening, they went out for dinner, and up until Judai fell asleep behind Yusei on his motorcycle the incident was barely brought back.
The girl had a thoughtful look on her face as she watched them from the other side of the coffee table
"No, I know he had nightmares. I know in his subconscious he never could forgive himself for that time. Even though he eventually picked it up and tried to learn how to smile again, I know it just wouldn't go away."
Yusei had nothing to say to that, because it was a story from a part of Judai's life that he hadn't been there to see that Asuka was telling. He looked back at the sleeping form and his insides twisted, reminded of the dreadful moment he looked up at the tiny figures clustered on the pinnacle of the railroad, a speck of red standing out, doing his job at comforting others despite the peril he, too, was in.
"Judai is a strong person." – Said he in a near whisper
"You have never seen him look like a scary shadow of his past self. I had a hard time getting familiar with his coldness to dueling, after such a long time witnessing his enthusiasm for Duel Monsters. It was painful for all of us. For him to become the person he is today… Thank you"
Yusei looked at her in surprise.
"I honestly never believed in this kind of encounters. Time travelling? It's just so bizarre. But you were there when he needed it. For once I see Judai not putting himself in the position of a hero to help everyone. For once I see him able to put his trust fully and completely in someone else to be his hero, and so he can lie back and rest, when he needs it."
He smiled,
"Judai has a lot of friends there for him. He believes everyone is a hero of themselves. I think, Asuka-san, you're his hero too." – A shadow clouded his deep blue eyes – "I couldn't do anything, back then, aside from standing still and hoping to dear god that…" – He trailed off, not daring to finish.
Her exhale sounded like either frustration or laughter. Every once in a while the engine of some vehicle would breeze by, making raindrops spatter on the asphalt and that seemed to be the only thing reminding him that they were still in vibrant world.
"You don't get it, do you? He was not afraid, getting stuck on that roller coaster, not when he saw you standing on the ground. I've seen the way he looks at you. It was not the courage he gained just by himself. He believed you would always find a way to bring him back to us, and that is the kind of faith that keeps him going. True heroes are those who make others into heroes themselves."
He went speechless.
"Tell me, Yusei, you have never thought about how important you are to him, have you?"
"In all honesty." – He glanced back at the sleeping figure, as though making sure that Judai was still there, and still peacefully asleep – "But one thing I know is Judai is very important to me too. More than anything."
"Why, though?"
Yusei had not seen that question coming, and so it got him thinking.
He thought about waking up in the morning with the greatest package ever delivered to him lying in his bed ready for his embrace, about getting a helping hand in making breakfast that he would have skipped otherwise, about actually making plans to go out and have fun with his friends because somebody cared enough to make sure he is included in the fun, about the suffocating fear as he looked 50 meters in the air praying that his fragile happiness wouldn't come crashing down, about the overwhelming relief as those feet finally touched the ground, so Yusei could rush to his side and squeeze Judai in his embrace, his eyes burning with a thousand unspeakable things that could have been, with the one thing that thank goodness had become instead.
And then he thought about the moment their paths crossed and he was enlightened by the joy and energy he never found in dueling, in the war he thought he could never win against the darkness in himself. He remembered recalling that radiant smile before going to bed and it was like a charm protecting him from bad dreams. He remembered the hopeless longing so suddenly fulfilled, and how he was overwhelmed by euphoria as he reached out to touch the figure standing at his door and see that he was real.
Sometimes pieces of himself still fell apart and drifted away into the cold, silent world he used to belong. He remembered each and every time Judai had picked them up and patched it all together. Despite all the work he and his friends had put into making their reality the one it is today – calm, peaceful, civil, and kind – sometimes he felt like he was washed away from that reality back into the one he had known for the most part of his life. Judai was patient in building the bridges between him and real life, was the only one who knew he needed those bridges in the first place. Unknowingly, he learnt how to look at himself with value, with pride, with the way everyone now looked at him instead of the criminal he had been labeled with in the past.
If Judai hadn't come, he would still have known love – to him, the love he had for science, for dueling, for Neo Domino, for his friends were as fulfilling as could be. But if Judai hadn't come, he would never have known this particular way of being in love – a tender sweetness, an unlimited affection, a happiness that made him dizzy and breathless anytime he so much as looked at the boy, every time they touched and smiled and said "I love you" in their own little ways and Yusei thought, yes, yes this was real, this was not just a beautiful dream that would leave him in a lonely and somber awakening.
So Yusei looked up at Asuka and replied:
"I don't know."
Her laughter was inaudible but he could tell from the way her chest vibrated.
"For some reason I knew that would be your answer."
"Did you?"
"I believe you. When it comes to feelings, the most sincere things can never be described."
She stayed for a while longer, then went to pick up the coat she had left in the kitchen earlier before wishing them goodnight and left.
Having laid Judai in bed and tucked him in, Yusei turned to leave the room, intending to have a look at his newly collected data on the computer. But he felt a hand tug at his shirt, and when he looked around a sleepy Judai peeked up at him with one eye:
"Go to sleep"
"I was just going to look at my experiments for a minute-"
"Yeah right, and then fall asleep at the desk leaving me cold and alone here till morning?"
Yusei smiled sheepishly, realizing it was more often than not the case, and how much clingier and more demanding Judai became when he was tired or sleepy – one of the many things he had only learnt after they got together. He had not the heart to argue in these times, anyway.
The grip of Judai's hand loosened as Yusei turned around and climbed into the bed. Judai wiggled to the other end to make room for him, lifting up the blanket and draped it on Yusei once he had settled. They lay in silence for a while, Judai's head tucked beneath Yusei's chin, their legs tangled and arms locked around each other in an all too familiar way, before Judai spoke:
"When we were stuck on the roller coaster back there, were you really worried?"
Yusei took a few seconds to listen to their even breathing, and said:
"I wasn't only worried about everyone up there, I was…scared. I was so scared at the thought of you being in danger."
There was something else unspoken in his words, but Judai heard it all the same:
"Really?"
"Of course", Yusei tilted his head down and buried his nose in the fluffy mess that was Judai's hair "Judai-san is the most important person in the world to me after all."
He felt the boy go still for a moment, as though he hadn't seen that coming. Then Judai squeezed him tight in his embrace, his face hidden in the crook of Yusei's neck. When he spoke again his voice was muffled and the warm breath on his skin gave Yusei goosebumps:
"Yusei is very important to me, too."
He smiled:
"The most?"
Judai's answer was so quiet he almost could not catch it:
"The most."
"Why is that?"
A pause.
"..I don't know."
Yusei breathed out a soft laugh and returned the near suffocating embrace.
"Hey, Yusei"
"What is it?"
"Thank you."
"What for?"
"For becoming so important to me. For being here."
This time, the only response the boy got was a kiss on his forehead. It started raining heavily again but their bed was warm when they drifted off.
Despite what everyone said, despite what Asuka herself believed about their story, Yusei knew the truth. And the truth is: Judai had always been his hero.
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Thank you for reading, Reviews would be much appreciated!
