I came up with a story a little while ago that I was going to write into a oneshot but never got round to it. A few days ago I heard this song and remembered my idea so I had a go at writing a songfic.
That's how this thing came about.
I don't own the song- that would be Coldplay- or The Hunger Games.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
Rue.
Years after the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss was still haunted by the little girl's screams at night as she tried to sleep, couldn't get the memory of the spear wound, the blood, the fatal stomach injury, Rue's last request.
'Can you sing?'
What had once been Katniss' favourite song had become a thing of nightmares because of Rue, the little twelve year old girl who died for entertainment.
When you get what you want but not what you need
Katniss has told herself all she wanted was to kill Snow, to overthrow the Capitol.
She was right in a way.
But it came at much too high a cost. Her family.
The only person Katniss was sure she loved, Prim. And her mother... Katniss hadn't forgiven her yet, but that didn't change the fact she was her mother and Prim had wanted her to try and now she'd shut down again and nothing would work and Katniss felt alone.
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
The mutts plagued Katniss at night. The human eyes, the resemblance to the tributes, the snarls, Cato's body torn apart and bleeding, the Quell card, Prim being Reaped, just before Finnick brought Peeta back to life, Marvel spearing Rue, the Tracksr Jackers, the war, losing Prim, her father's death, losing Finnick to the mutts in the Capitol, the burning Districts, everything.
Every little thing Katniss had encountered that was good was ruled out by two bad ones.
Nothing was going her way.
Stuck in reverse
Where had it all gone wrong?
When Prim was Reaped, she tells herself. But she knows that's not the case.
Nothing was ever right since the Founding War*.
Since the birth of the Capitol, the human race had been spiralling downwards.
When the tears come streaming down your face
Millions of innocent people- children even- has died because she wanted to keep Prim safe, because she tried to have two Victors, because she sparked a rebellion.
Katniss felt guilty about many things, but the war was the worst. It was all her fault.
She knew the pain as bad as anyone else, she's lost Prim to it, but all those people died who she didn't even know, for her.
When you lose something you can't replace
Katniss stopped feeling safe when her father died.
She stopped feeling good when the Games started.
She stopped feeling free when they activated the fence.
She stopped feeling happy when Prim died.
But the worst bit by far was she never got those years with her father, never got to say goodbye.
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Prim, oh god Prim.
Why her? All she wanted to do was help.
She went out with the medics to a war scene at thirteen, for God's sake.
She was healing people since she could walk, she made everyone smile, she lit up the world for so many.
Prim was the best, there were no two ways about it.
So of course she was a victim of the war.
Could it be worse?
If she didn't have Peeta, Katniss would have cracked a long time ago.
Of course they had their problems. After his hijacking, Peeta had murderous episodes where he wanted to kill her.
And Katniss still wasn't sure she loved him.
But Peeta helped her all the same and that was the main reason she had yet to stick a knife through her throat.
*The Founding War was the war that Panem alone rose up from.
I hope you enjoyed this! It was fun to give it a go and I think it turned out ok.
Xoxo,
~KatnissEeveedeen
