Tale One: The Hutt and the Three Prisoners

Once, a Hutt and his pirate gang attacked a ship full of passengers. As none of the passengers had money or goods, the Hutt, being a cruel and unnatural being, decided to amuse himself with their deaths. So, he had the passengers brought before him, one by one.

The first man was a smuggler. He had been the pilot of the ship, and was arrogant and spat in the Hutt's face.

"Tell me..." The Hutt said, "What makes you happiest. I will take it from you and you will die."

The smuggler laughed a proud laugh.

"My freedom is what makes me happiest, and you cannot take that away from me."

The Hutt thought for a moment, then smiled at his prisoner.

"Your ship is what GIVES you freedom. If I destroy your ship, you will be trapped, forever."

So, the Hutt's pirates destroyed the smuggler's ship. And, just as the Hutt said, the smuggler was so wrought with grief that he had a heart attack and died that night.

So, on the second day, a second prisoner was brought before the Hutt. This man had been a teacher, and was not used to being in so much danger. He cried and screamed and begged for mercy.

"Tell me what makes you happiest." The Hutt told this man, "I will take it from you and you will die."

The teacher sobbed in terror.

"To teach others is what makes me happiest, and you cannot stop me from ever teaching again."

The Hutt thought for a moment, then smiled, once again.

"I will cut out your tongue and hands, and you will be unable to communicate with anyone. If you cannot manage to speak to anyone, you can never teach, ever again."

So, the Hutt's pirates cut out the teacher's tongue and hands with a vibroblade, and burned the stumps of his arms so artificial replacements could never be attached, and cooked the tongue and ate it. Just as the Hutt said, the teacher was so overcome with despair that he killed himself that night.

Then, on the third day, a third prisoner was brought before the Hutt. Unlike the other two, nobody knew what this man was – his clothes were very plain, and he neither spoke to his captors, nor his fellow prisoners. He was so very different that nobody knew what to make of him, for even when he was brought before the Hutt, he was neither struck with terror nor belligerent and angry.

"Tell me what makes you happiest." The Hutt told this man, "I will take it from you and you will die."

The man looked at the Hutt, then slowly shook his head.

"Even if I told you, it would make no difference." The man said, "For death is what awaits me, no matter what I say or do, so I do not fear it. One might even say I am dead, now, for it is my inevitable future."

This response displeased the Hutt, for he banged his fist and demanded to know what made the man happy.

"I do not know, unfortunately." The man replied, "You see, I have never been happy. But, in all my life, I have never been unhappy, either."

Again, the Hutt was angered, and he only demanded further.

"I am only a servant of the Force. It is the will of the Force that I merely exist – you see, since the Force is with me, I am a part of it. And the Force is neither happiness nor unhappiness – it simply exists, like the fire of the stars, or the makings of the planets."

To this, the Hutt became full of rage so great, it seemed like he would burst.

"Tell me what gives you pleasure, then! I will make you suffer by depriving you of it."

The man thought, then simply replied.

"To think is what pleases me. To be able to meditate on the universe and all it's beings – that is the closest I can think of what would make me happy."

The Hutt laughed a horrible laugh.

"Then, I shall take your mind away."

"But if you did that," The man replied, "Then I would be unable to think about my own suffering. So, in it's own way, I would be unable to suffer, just by being so shallow."

Upon hearing this, the Hutt became so filled with rage that he puffed himself up, and up, and up, until he finally exploded.

So the man, whom you might have guessed was a Jedi, left the ship and continued on his journey, neither happy nor unhappy.