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Have fun.
LN
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AGAIN
"I'm so sorry Ryan."
"You don't have to apologize Sandy, it's not like it was intentional." Ryan smiled. He actually found the situation quite humoristic. "Besides, you're my guardian now, so it's your right." It was intended as a joke, but Sandy's reaction was not to laugh, but to stare at him.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Ryan felt uncomfortable with Sandy's stare. He understood he'd done something wrong. Again. But again, he wasn't sure what. "Nothing, sorry." he mumbled, looking down, pressing the ice harder against his face.
Sandy was appalled. How could Ryan say something like that? He had to know Sandy would never want to hurt him. His mind was racing, what had Ryan meant by 'your right'? No, he couldn't think about that now, he had to talk to Kirsten. He looked at Ryan and realized how uncomfortable the boy was. "Why don't you go rest in the pool house? We'll call you when dinner is ready." he said, giving Ryan an excuse to leave if he wanted to.
Ryan nodded. He wanted to ask what he'd done wrong, but he didn't want to make Sandy angrier than he was. But he didn't really sound angry telling him to go to the pool house. Ryan was confused, but decided it was best to just do as he was told. If he knew Sandy Cohen right, he'd want to talk to Ryan later. The Cohens loved to talk. He got up and headed for the pool house.
I the kitchen he was intercepted by Seth. "Hey man." he said.
"Hey." Ryan replied.
"You feeling better? I can't believe Dad elbowed you in the face."
"I'm okay." Ryan said quietly, inching towards the door.
"How do you feel about some PlayStation? I mean, it's not fair if only Dad gets to kick your ass." Seth grinned.
Ryan smiled at the joke, but shook his head. "I can't. I'm to stay in the pool house till dinner."
"What? You're in trouble? But he's the one who knocked you down; I thought he'd be swimming in guilt. Honestly, I'd have thought you could get away with anything right now. What did you do, man?"
Ryan shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't' know." he mumbled.
"Come on, man. Tell me. I'm dying of curiosity here. You don't want my death on your conscience."
Ryan looked at him, and Seth saw his confusion as he said "I honestly don't know." Looking away he said "I've got to go." And he disappeared out the door and into the pool house.
Seth frowned and went to look for his father. He had a feeling there had been a misunderstanding. Again. His father never seemed to learn how Ryan's mind worked, and Ryan never seemed to understand that Sandy sometimes acted like he was angry when he was in fact only upset or concerned.
He found both his parents in his father's office. When he approached, he heard his father's voice: "What do you think he meant?"
Knocking on the door Seth interrupted his parents. "Sorry to disturb you, but I have to ask-"
"Not now, Seth." Kirsten said. "Your father and I need to talk."
"Yeah, sorry, can't wait." He ignored their glares and continued. "What did Ryan do? Is he in trouble?"
That caught their attention. "No! What do you mean? He's not in trouble." Sandy looked at Kirsten, then back at Seth.
"Then why does he think you grounded him in the pool house till dinner?" Seth asked. "What did you tell him? Did you yell at him?"
"I- I-" Sandy stammered. "I just- I suggested he'd go rest. In the pool house. I was a bit upset, but I didn't yell."
Seth sighed. "Man, you're unbelievable. You and Ryan both. Why can't you just realize that Ryan's always thinks he's done something wrong if you're upset. And he should have learned by now to ask why he's in trouble. So you could tell him if he's not. God, you're.." Seth held back for once, and took a deep breath.
After calming down he continued. "Anyways, I suggest you go talk to him. Or he will stay in the pool house till dinner, believing he's being punished for something. And he doesn't even know what." With this, he left his parents, heading upstairs. Through his window he saw Sandy entering the pool house. God, they were just too much. Serious communication flaws.
"Ryan?" Sandy said as he entered the dark pool house, pausing right inside the door letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He saw a dark figure on the bed, quickly getting up into sitting position. "Can I turn on the light?" he asked softly.
Ryan nodded, but immediately realized Sandy probably didn't see that, thus saying "Yeah, sure." It was time for the talk. Ryan found himself both wanting to postpone it for as long as possible, and to get it over with as soon as possible.
He'd been lying on the bed, in his mind repeating the conversation over and over, and he still didn't understand exactly what he'd done wrong. Now he was sitting on the bed, arms around knees, watching the older man apprehensively.
"Look, Ryan.." Sandy started. "I'm not mad at you, okay? I just.. What did you mean by 'my right'? You said that now I was your guardian it was 'my right'."
Ah, so that was it. Now he understood. Kind of. "I'm sorry Sandy. I didn't mean anything. I.. I won't do it again."
"No Ryan, that's not what I want." Sandy shook his head; he just didn't understand this boy sometimes. "I just want to know why you'd say such a thing. Like I had the right to hurt you. Nobody's got the right to hurt you, Ryan."
Yeah right, Ryan thought. That might be true for kids like Seth, but not for him. Hesitantly he said "But.. technically you do. As my guardian, by law you have the right to.. discipline me. Don't you?"
Sandy silently stared at Ryan for a long time. He didn't want to answer that question, because Ryan was right. "Yes Ryan." he finally said, quietly. "But you know I would never do that."
"Yeah, I know." The boy looked miserable. "I'm sorry, it was just a stupid joke."
"It wasn't funny." Sandy said softly.
"I know, I'm sorry."
Sandy wanted to ask Ryan if he thought his mother had had the 'right' to hurt him, and if she had. It seemed so easy for this boy to accept that other people had the right to hurt him or to tell him what to do.
Suddenly Sandy realized that if he'd wanted to hurt Ryan, the boy would have let him, no questions asked. He wouldn't have liked it, but he would've let him. Because it was his 'right.' He shuddered inwardly.
Sometimes Ryan scared Sandy; the boy actually seemed to believe he was worth less than everybody else, and accepting it. Sandy knew he'd have to talk to Ryan – soon – about his past and the way he regarded himself. But right now, he told himself that Ryan had had enough drama for one day.
"Come on, let's go inside." he said.
Ryan glanced at him "Is that okay?"
"Yeah, I told you. You're not in trouble." He put a hand on Ryan's shoulder and together they walked towards the house.
Postponing the talk they both dreaded. Again.
