AN: Hi, everyone! My name is Randy Carpenter! This is a fanfic that's been in my head for a long time. I would like to thank the best beta in the world, my cousin, Penny, for helping me get this together! Without her, I would not be as good of a writer as I am today!
As a college student, I am excited to write a college fic with Edward and Emmett (Yummy)! This is a slash, with lemons, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own anything Twilight, I do, however, own 17 black socks and one white one...go figure...
Chapter 1 – A Tortured Soul
EdPOV
Sitting at my desk in the dimly lit room, I stared at the math book in front of me. I had already done all the studying and homework I needed to do for the week, so I decided to get ahead. It was Tuesday night, after all. I pinched the current page, flipped ahead to the next page, and back to the original page, to gauge how much I was planning to do. Picking up my pencil, I sighed again. It was midnight, and I was beginning to feel sleepy. Fighting the urge to be mad at myself for feeling sleepy, I grabbed the bottle of Ritalin I had sitting by the lamp. Sleep was such a waste. The label said "Jasper Whitlock" and "Take one as needed." My name wasn't Jasper, but I took one as needed.
One o'clock came, and I had finished two pages. The room smelled of cigarettes and genius. With a half burned cigarette in one hand and a fresh pencil in another, I began the next few pages. Two o'clock hit, and I realized that after a few more pages, I wasn't being challenged by this anymore. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair. I was on edge. I had all this artificial energy in me and I had to release it. I stared at the cover of my math book and realized no one would ever want to date an awkward, geeky, math nerd with almost no social skills. With the compiled stress of performing perfectly, and my own lack of companionship, I began to cry.
My alarm went off at 6 AM as it always did. I painfully lifted my head off the desk and, with blurred vision, looked at the clock. Damn, I was so tired. Regardless, I still forced myself beyond what my body told me to do and got ready for school. By the time I finished my shower and got dressed, it was 7 AM, and I was awake enough to start my day.
I had something against sleep ever since I could remember. Sleep was an enemy. It was falling behind on getting ahead. It was letting go so my subconscious could have free reign of me. It was imperfection and lack of control, and I didn't want to need it.
My first class was Calculus at 7:45 AM. I sauntered in and sat in the usual spot. Alice greeted me and sat next to me. Alice was another genius. She had jet black hair and dressed in all black. Many people called her goth. I didn't care; she was about the only one who would talk to me without having to.
"What did you think of the math test Monday?" She asked cheerfully.
"Yeah, it was fine," I grunted, rubbing my eyes.
"Hard night last night?" She asked sweetly.
"Just stress," I said, zoning in to the chalkboard. I actually liked talking to Alice, but I wasn't in the mood for chatter today. I think she took the hint and began to look in her notebook for the work she had most recently done. She then decided to pull out her last test. I glanced over and saw she made an 85. She frowned at it.
Without being asked, I scanned her paper to see what she had missed. "Having problems with sines and cosines?" I asked.
She put her paper back in her notebook and sighed. "I just started stressing at that part." She sighed again.
"Do you need to go over some of it with me?" I asked. I loved to teach people what I knew; it made me feel wanted.
"Thanks," she said, sighing again, "but all I need to do is study more."
I almost offered to sell her some Ritalin, but I didn't think we were that close yet. I didn't want anyone to know what I did, even if we were friends. This problem had been going on ever since I started college. I had no idea what to expect my first semester, so I would stay up for a week at a time studying and reading; making sure I knew everything the professor could possibly want us to know.
The class finally filled up with its usual people, and Professor Esme walked in. My heart started to pump harder. We were about to start learning something new. I figured it would be easy for me to pick up, but I gave it my utmost attention anyway. As the professor lectured, my pencil danced a familiar dance of brilliance and comfort. This was what I was born to do, I felt, so why did I feel something was missing?
AN: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please leave comments, any comments, so that I can improve future chapters! Yes, there will be more...Thanks for reading!
P.S. If anyone has an extra black or white sock, please send it to me...
