'Please, Sam, not like that.'
They drew apart from each other. There was sadness in Frodo's eyes, and confusion in Sam's.
After the Quest, they had taken the habit to sleep with each other, Frodo hugged against the gardener's strong chest ; but recently things had become a bit different.
While the former Ring-bearer was used to Sam's soft kisses in his hair, the gardener had started to get his hands and lips wandering. At night, those hands would now travel under Frodo's nightshirt, shyly exploring the forbidden expanse of skin, always gentle, always hesitant, as if to ask for admittance.
When Frodo was lying on his back, Sam now kissed him softly on the lips, every time a little longer, testing, searching for an opening, which he had just found that night.
His hands had become a little bolder, his tongue a little eager, and his whole body had slid over his master's. But when his hips had begun to take on a slow rhythm, Frodo had stopped him.
Now he was above Frodo, his arms supporting his weight as he looked down at his master. Frodo had a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently.
'I don't want this, Sam,' he whispered. 'I can't have this.'
'I'm sorry, sir, I shouldn't have. I just thought...'
'It's my fault Sam, I should have told you before.'
Sam was on the verge of tears. He looked down and saw Frodo looking at him with genuine love. He collapsed beside him and started crying, his back turned to his master.
Frodo immediately wrapped his arms around him and stroked his chest, his face buried in Sam's curls.
'Hush, please. Don't cry, Sam.'
'I'm so sorry, master!'
'No, don't be sorry, and don't call me that. I know you didn't want to hurt me. It was my fault, I didn't dare to tell you that it made me uncomfortable.'
Sam said nothing, he was sobbing silently now, and Frodo was trying to soothe him with sweet words and strokes.
'I know it looks like I could want it, and really I could. But...'
'You think I'm too disgusting, too plain,' stated Sam.
Frodo moved away from him and knelt on the bed. When he started speaking, he sounded angry.
'How dare you say that ? Do you think so little of me?'
'Sir, I...'
'I just can't, Sam. I'm unclean, do you see?' he added, his voice softened.
'Because of the Ring? Oh, sir,' Sam said, turning to face his master, 'you know it's not true.'
'I know that's what you think, dear Sam. But I'm not ready to make things change. I love you. But I'm quite content with what we had. Just hold me, and forget the sex and the kisses.'
Sam blushed, Frodo had spoken directly, had put into words what he couldn't. But he came closer and took Frodo in his arms.
'I don't want more, Sam. I don't need more. I know it's selfish, but I want you like that, all to myself.
I might change my mind when the time comes. Just be patient. Can you wait for me?'
'I can, and I will.'
They lay back on the soft mattress, clinging to each other. When sleep came to take them in its world of dreams, they were still embracing.
A simple love
Doesn't need light from above,
Just someone to hold throughout the night
A soul to share and be part of.
The truest love
From time to time is just like that.
