Time for another "What Happened?" a series of One-Shots that focuses on those inexplicable moments in movies where something totally random just happens to characters. This one focuses on the Animaniacs episode "Sir Yaksalot." You know, with the dragon?
Random Guy: Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!
Oh, for the love of... Will someone stop that guy from yelling, "Dragon?" (an anvil is painted in the air and falls on the guy as he passes) Thanks.
Anyway, this is my longest "What Happened?" to date, and will no doubt stay that way.
Summary: The dragon in this episode was revealed to be mechanical, with our favorite mouse duo behind the wheel. But how did they do it?
Disclaimer: This episode, characters, and that lame joke we just did are all trademark property of Warner Bros.
Animaniacs: Sir Yaksalot
Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!
Night had fallen on the ACME Laboratory. Inside the building, a cage. Inside the cage, two mice preparing for another of their nightly plots: to take over the world. At least, one mouse was.
"Be ready, Pinky," one of the mice said to his comrade, "for tonight, we may have one of the best schemes for world conquest ever." He was busy creating a contraption consisting of two pencils, a wad of chewing gum, a rubber band, and a marble. The finished product looked like a slingshot.
"Oh, I can't wait for this, Brain," Pinky said excitedly. "Um, will it include rubber duckies?"
Brain jerked at the suggestion. "Tell you what," he said sarcastically, "if this doesn't work, we'll save that for tomorrow."
"Oh, goody! Narf!" Pinky shouted with glee.
Brain began to pull back the rubber band on the slingshot. "If my calculations are correct, and they usually are…" He let go of the band and the marble shot out of the cage. It bounced off the walls before hitting a set of keys off its rack. One key landed in the lock of the cage. Brain turned it and the cage door opened.
"That was amazing, Brain," Pinky said.
"Coming from you, Pinky, that's not saying much." The two hopped out of the cage. As they walked along the table, Brain explained his plan. "Pinky, for the past few nights, I have been working on a device so top secret, I had to hide it where no none but I would ever find it."
"Naaarrff," Pinky exclaimed. "Where is it, Brain?"
"In that defunct stall in the men's room."
"Oh, I guess that would do it."
"Pinky, I want you to wait here while I retrieve the device," Brain told his companion.
"Why, Brain. You don't trust me with the secret?"
"No, I don't trust you with carrying it. Just stay here and don't do anything stupid. Actually, let me rephrase that: don't do anything."
"Aye aye, Brain." Pinky gave a salute as Brain left the room.
A few minutes later, Brain walked down the hallway pulling an object twice as big as himself along the ground via rope. It was covered in a small towel. Suddenly he heard a loud roar. Instinctively, he ran behind his special device before realizing he'd heard that noise before. He continued to pull the object toward the lab, ready to confront Pinky.
When he got to the main room, he got up on the counter and pulled the device up with him. Finally, he walked over to Pinky, who was, for the third night in row, playing a video game with a dragon as the main character.
"Pinky!" he yelled. "How many times do a I have to tell you to turn that infernal game off?"
Pinky looked in Brain's direction. "Sorry, Brain, but I was getting bored."
"It's only been five minutes."
"Really? Amazing how time flies." Brain just tried to ignore him.
"Now, Pinky, feast your eyes on the world's very first," he pulled the towel off the device, "temporal distortion device." Pinky turned to look at it. It was box shaped with some buttons and an LED screen.
"Oh, brilliant, Brain! Does it make people twist all about?"
Brain froze with curiosity about Pinky's remark until he understood. "You're thinking of contortion, Pinky. A temporal distortion device is just another name for a time machine. Simply set the date here," he pointed to the LED screen, "press this button, and you find yourself in that time period."
"E-gad, Brain!" Pinky shouted. "So what do we do with it?"
"Actually, Pinky, this is where my plan hits a snag, being that I don't have a plan. In my haste to build it, I never came up with an idea on what to use it for. Therefore I need some time to formulate a plan on how to use the device. I require absolute silence."
Brain had been at his thinking stage for some time and was coming up empty, due in part to the silence he was not getting. Pinky insisted on playing his game.
"Pinky, for the last time, turn that game off!" Brain yelled in anger.
"But Brain, I'm almost at the Camelot level," Pinky protested.
"Listen, Pinky, I wouldn't care if you were on Mars making contact with alien life, just…" Brain stopped. "Wait a second. Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so Brain, but doesn't the Great Pumpkin come on Halloween?" Brain expected something like this to happen.
"No, Pinky. We could go back in time to the days of Camelot and take over the kingdom, putting me at the center of power over the entire medieval world."
"But how do we do that, Brain?" Pinky asked.
"The answer lies on that television screen you seem enjoy so much," Brain answered. Pinky looked and saw his dragon character. "I will construct a giant, mechanical dragon that will lay waste to the village and King Arthur himself."
"E-gad, Brain, brilliant!" Pinky shouted with joy. Suddenly his mood changed. "Oh, wait, no, no. But won't it take long time to build?"
"Not at all, Pinky," Brain said. "With the equipment we have at the lab, creating a giant dragon will seem like child's play compared to the temporal distortion device." With that he was gone, but not before removing the Pinky's game cartridge from its console.
Brain came back half an hour later. "Now, Pinky, we will head to Camelot forthwith."
"But, Brain, what about the dragon?" Pinky said. Brain did not have it with him.
"Tell me, how am I supposed to fit a 50-foot dragon in those doors?" Brain asked rhetorically.
"Um, just smash it through the wall?" Pinky said. Brain slapped his forhead.
"Anyway, we must take the temporal distortion device and place it in the dragon I have constructed. The dragon will serve as our time vehicle." Brain pulled on the rope attached to the device while Pinky pushed.
A little while later, Brain was inside the cockpit of the dragon. He pulled up the communication line. "Pinky, do you have the device locked in?"
Brain heard Pinky's voice on the intercom say, "Roger, Brain."
"Now, enter the year 500 AD and set the location to England." Brain waited for a moment.
"Poit. All set," Pinky said.
"Finally, hit the big red button," Brain commanded. Literally a second later, Brain saw the cockpit shine and sparkle around him. "Yes!" Outside, anyone who might have seen a large dragon would also have seen it vanish from sight.
When Brain could see outside the cockpit again, he found himself outside a large city with a towering castle. He heard Pinky climb up into the cockpit. "There it is Pinky. The great Kingdom of Camelot."
"Oh, goody!" Pinky celebrated. "When will they start singing?"
"Pinky, that musical won't be out for another 1,400 years," Brain said. "Make yourself useful and remove the temporal distortion device. I don't want to risk it getting damaged." Pinky saluted and left the cockpit. When he came back, Brain went over to the control panel and press a series of buttons. The dragon started moving toward the city.
Finally it reached the city gates. The guard stationed there looked up and saw the towering monstrosity above him. He tried to pull out his sword and slash its leg as it passed, but Brain succeeded in kicking him in the moat.
"That was exhilarating," Brain said. "Now, to lay siege to the village." He crashed the dragon through the gate. Startled citizens stared up at what was happening. They did not like what they found.
"Evil. Evil," they shouted, pointing up at the dragon. Brain pressed one of the buttons and released a stream of flames that engulfed them. The scorched citizens ran away as the dragon marched on. Except for a trio of people and a buffalo.
"Fear not," the furthest one said. "We shall calm the beast by singing." Just as the buffalo took out a harmonica and played a tuning note, Brain had the dragon step on all of them. As he left, he and Pinky could hear them singing, "Camelot," in a weak tone.
"Oh, Brain, that would have been a good song," Pinky protested.
"Thankfully, we'll never know," Brain said.
Brain noticed the drawbridge to the castle opening. A group of knights ran out and screamed in a battle cry. As they came within range, Brain pressed the fire button again and burned them. The knights ran back to the castle, this time screaming in terror.
"I think that's the last we'll see of any resistance," Brain said to his companion.
"Hey Brain," Pinky said. "There's someone coming out of that house down there." He pointed to one of the small houses that made up the village. A man was just walking out the door.
"What's all this, then?" he said. "Can't a man get some sleep without…" Then he looked up at the beast in front of him. "Dr… dr… dra… dra… drag… drag…"
"What's with him, Brain?" Pinky asked.
"Speech impediment, no doubt" Brain answered. "I'll help him out with that." He hit the fire button. The dragon spewed its flames onto the man.
He immediately ran off. As he ran, he yelled, "Dragon! Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!" He ran off toward the castle.
"Now, let's move," Brain said. "We have, as they say, bigger fish to fry."
"Oh, good thing too," Pinky said. "It feels like I haven't eaten in 600 years." Brain just ignored him.
The castle gate was closing just after the man got in. "Um, Brain, are we going to make it?"
"Even if the gates close completely," Brain responded, "nothing should stop us from breaking in." Brain was several yards away when the gate fully closed. But he wasn't worried. He charged right into the wooden door.
The dragon bounced off the castle and shook its occupants. "Then again…" Brain said. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so, Brain," Pink said, "but do you know how hard it is to find a clamshell and a giraffe together?" Brain didn't even know why he asked.
"No, Pinky," Brain said. "We won't be able to break into the castle this way. Therefore I must postulate a plan that will allow entry. Until I do, I'm leaving you in charge of the dragon."
Pinky looked at the control panel. "Woo, and you call me the stupid one," Pinky said. "How do I control it?"
"Not to worry, Pinky. Do you recall that I removed your game cartridge before setting out to build this dragon? That is because it included the necessary programming for controlling it, therefore making it much easier to build." Then Brain saw the confused look on Pinky's face. "Simply put, the control settings are the same as your video game."
"Oh," Pinky said, "well, why didn't you just say that?" With that, Brain left the cockpit to think about his next move.
Pinky continued the dragon's rampage across the village. He couldn't help but think that of it as his video game with a different viewpoint. He continued walking along until he came across a peasant so frightened, he couldn't move.
"Hmm," Pinky thought, "time to go for some peasant points." He grabbed the old man and pressed the controls he was most familiar with. He saw that the dragon had pulled out a salt shaker. "Wow, Brain thought of everything."
Just before he could put the old man in the dragon's mouth, he heard something. "Comedy! Dragon Comedy!" He turned to find someone in front of a building called "Dragon Cabaret." For some reason, the guy looked familiar to him.
"The best dragon comedians in all of Camelot! Right here. Free peasant with every drink," the announcer continued. Pinky dropped the man he was holding and walked over to the building. "Oh, yes," the announcer said as he saw the dragon come forward. "Right this way, sir."
Pinky thought for a second. "Hm, it probably wouldn't hurt to get a few laughs." He pushed his way through the small door and found himself in the main performance area. He took his seat and was given a drink.
"And now, dragons and dragettes," a female announcer said, "the funniest dragon in Camelot, here's Henny Dragon!" The curtain opened and revealed someone who looked too small to be a dragon, but he had scales on him, so Pinky didn't argue.
"Ah-ha, thank you, thank you, you're too kind," the comedian said. "Hey, how about that lady in the lake? I mean, how long can she hold her breath." Another dragon played a rim shot. Pinky chuckled a little.
A female dragon/waitress holding a serving tray appeared. "Candy, gum, dynamite?" Pinky shook the dragon's head. The waitress pulled a group of dynamites from her tray and placed it on the table. "On the house, Sugar," she said. Pinky offered his thanks, which came out in just barely unintelligible grunts. "Don't mention it," she said as she left.
"Hey, how about that King Arthur, huh?" Henny continued. "You know, I'll never forget the first time we met, but I'm trying." Pinky started laughing. "I'm slaying him," Henny said to himself. "Hey, what's green and stands in the corner? A naughty frog." Pinky began laughing hysterically, pressing the fire button in his fits of laughter.
"Pinky, what's going on?" Brain said. He had heard Pinky laughing and checked to investigate
"Green and stands in the corner. Zort! Naughty frog," Pinky kept saying in between laughs. Brain looked out the viewport to see what was going on. He saw three smaller dragons run off a stage. But the thing that really caught his attention was a group of dynamite on the table in front of them.
"Pinky, snap out of it," Brain told his companion. He took control of the dragon to grab the dynamite and held it to where they could see it. Pinky looked outside and almost stopped laughing when he saw it.
The dynamite exploded and sent the dragon skyward. When it came down, many of the mechanical parts could be seen.
Brain and Pinky climbed out of the wreckage. Pinky was still laughing. "Naughty frog! Narf! Ha ha!"
"Hysterical, Pinky," Brain said before throwing a loose gear at him.
Suddenly, King Arthur himself appeared to inspect the damage. "Mice?" he said a low voice. "BUT WHY?" he yelled.
Brain, seeing no reason in hiding it, said, "We were trying to destroy Camelot in yet another attempt to take over the world. Come, Pinky, back to the drawing board."
As they walked back to the temporal distortion device, Pinky kept saying, "Stands in the corner! Naughty frog!" he continued to laugh until Brain hit his head.
Just then, the singers from before came out and sang, "They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain…" before the dragon's foot, which was still in the sky, stomped them again.
Of course, that's just my theory, because no one will truly know "What Happened?"
