Severus Snape was dreaming. It was a dream he had had countless times in the past 14 years. A young woman with auburn hair was standing in front of a child's cot begging for the life of her child. "Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"
"Stand aside you silly girl … stand aside now."
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead - Not Harry! Please … have mercy … have mercy".
The man in the room with her, if you could still call him a man with his snake like features and cold red eyes, gazed at her without compassion, raised his wand said the words "Avada Kedavra" and a stream of green lightning flew to hit her square in the heart and she fell to the floor with a last loving look at her child. The man then turned to the child sensing that victory was almost his. He threw the same curse at the defenceless infant. Instead of the expected tiny body at his feet he saw a flash of green rebound in his direction and felt a searing pain in his own head. He screamed in confusion and defeat as he realised he had been hit by his own curse, not yet understanding how this has happened he fled the scene of his own downfall leaving the child crying for his mother who could no longer hear him and had given her life to protect him.
Snape ran into the room and saw the woman unmoving on the floor. He added his heart wrenching cry to that of the weeping child. He gathered her in his arms saying "Lily, Lily my love" over and over again as if by saying her name and pouring out his love for her he could bring her back to life and everything would be as it should have been.
At this point in the dream he usually woke up shaking and with tears in his eyes, but this time it was different. The dream continued. He became aware of a humming noise, still holding Lily close, he turned his head to the corner of the room and saw a movement coming from the gap between the floorboard and the skirting boards. A large golden bee crept out onto the floor, stretched her wings and launched herself into the air. The source of the humming then became apparent, following their queen came the rest of the swarm, first a trickle, like honey dripping from a spoon, then an outpouring as if the jar had been upended. The sound of the humming increased until it filled his ears blocking out any other noises. He glanced over at the boy still in the cot, who had now ceased his crying and was standing motionless watching with fascination as the swarm moved as one following their queen. Not wanting to risk any sudden movements and so attract the attention of the swarm, Snape followed with his eyes as the queen led her army towards the window which had broken when the curse had so spectacularly backfired . The jagged panes of glass stood like sentinels in the window frames. With a sudden surge forward the queen increased her velocity and shot out through the window with the swarm in close pursuit. Snape watched them disappear into the morning light as they flew away from the scene to find a new home away from this place of destruction and heartbreak.
He awoke with a start. He heard a buzzing in his room and saw the colours of dawn creeping around the edges of the window. He identified the buzzing as a large bluebottle fly which had become trapped in the lampshade beside his bed, its iridescent body reflecting the reds of the emerging sun and turning it a purple bruise against the glass of the lampshade. He knew he would get no more sleep this night.
In the past he had tried to stop the dreams by taking a strong sleeping draught, like dreamless sleep potion, and to a degree it had worked but drugged sleep was no substitute for natural restful sleep. Now he could not even take the draughts because it made him vulnerable to attack both mentally and physically and he needed to remain alert if he was to help protect her son. He pushed the bed covers from him and sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed in one fluid movement. He remembered that today was the beginning of a new term, her son would be starting his fourth year, and by the time the day was out the school would once again be full of sounds and he would no longer be alone with his thoughts.
Picking up the lamp containing the trapped fly, he carried to the window, slid up the sash window and shook the lampshade until the fly found its way out and flew off into the sunrise. Snape watched wistfully and wished he could escape his own trap so easily. Turning back into the room he returned the lamp to its place by his bed and slowly got dressed ready to start the new term presenting the cold eyed face to the world that was all anyone could ever see.
