AN: I have recently gotten into Steven Universe and I have got to say… it is one of the best damn cartoons on air in the last few years. The characters are well written, the plots are engaging, the problems, both family orientated and otherwise are tear-jerking and binding it all together is Steven. Possibly one of the greatest children characters ever created. A bottomless well of love and compassion that just seems to constantly bubble over. And then I met Lars and Sadie… I watched their interactions… I was invested in what they said… I was saddened by the trials they had to go through… and I had to write this.
So, get ready to perform my three R's, buddies! Relax, Read and Review.
Tears and Truths
'What is wrong with him?'
That was the thought that had been plaguing Sadie for a while now. She thought about it at home, she thought about it at work, she thought about it when she was out and about on the boardwalk. Yet despite the time she had spent on this vital question, an answer continued to elude her. And it was beginning to drive her crazy.
No matter how hard she tried, she just could not figure out what had been plaguing her friend and coworker; Lars.
It had been nearly a month since the 'Island Incident', which was what Sadie had taken to calling her… time spent with Lars and Steven on that beautiful, yet God-forsaken rock. And ever since then, Lars had been acting… odd. 'Odd' being the most polite word she could come up with… others of course being 'weird', 'crazy', 'strange' and 'completely out of character'.
He was talking to customers politely. He was taking only fifteen minute breaks, like they were supposed to. He was organizing the doughnuts correctly. And strangest of all… he was cleaning up messes before she could get to them… without being asked! Not even Steven and his usual visits seemed enough to gouge one of the usual reactions from her red-headed coworker.
It was honestly starting to scare her.
All of this she might have overlooked after a while… all things considered, it was kinda nice not having to do everything around the store herself… but all of this paled in comparison to the biggest problem of all.
He had stopped talking to her.
Not completely… they obviously still had to communicate while at work… but beyond that, it was almost like he had completely cut her out of his life. And it hurt.
They didn't talk about video games anymore, they stopped taking walks around the beach, he quit calling her to go to wrestling matches, heck, he didn't call her at all anymore! And he certainly wasn't returning any of her calls.
Most concerning however, from what she knew, Lars hardly did anything anymore.
Out of concern, Sadie had called up Lars' parents and asked if there was anything wrong, who in turn asked her a similar question. Apparently Lars had done nothing but go to school, go to work, come home and lock himself in his room… for nearly a month.
Ever since the 'Island Incident'. All of these facts piled up in her mind and it was beginning to weigh heavily on her nerves. She couldn't take it anymore…
Sure, she was angry with Lars after the whole incident with the Invisible Gem Monster, which Steven had affectionately dubbed 'Ghostly'. But she got over it… eventually. It took some time but she understood that Lars was… just a difficult person to reach and that maybe concealing a way off the island and endangering their lives by doing so, might not have been the best idea… so she had decided to put the incident behind her, and she thought Lars had too… but apparently SOMETHING was still on his mind… and she intended to find out what it was.
And she intended to find out today.
Sadie watched Mr. Smiley walk out of the store, carrying a bag of his usual fair. She looked over to Lars, his eyes unfocused and his form leaning on the counter next to the cash register. At a glance it looked like his normal position and temperament… but Sadie knew better. She knew Lars… and she could practically taste the unhappiness that swirled around him.
"Slow day, huh?" She asked conversationally.
He simply let out a grunt of agreement.
"Haven't seen Steven for a while." She said as a side note.
The red-head nodded at this.
"You remember how many doughnut trays we have to clean up in the back?" she asked, knowing this one would have to make him speak.
"About nine." He said quietly, looking at the door.
"Right." She agreed.
Silence reigned in the doughnut shop for a few minutes, Lars hardly moving a muscle and Sadie looking at him with confusion and anticipation written clearly on her face. Sadie put up with the uncomfortable quiet for a minute or so more before she grew sick of it and she turned to her coworker with a determined face.
"Lars… we need to talk." Sadie said as firmly as she could.
Lars seemed to stiffen slightly before looking over to her from his position at the cash register, however he immediately looked down at the ground before their eyes met.
"What about?" He asked in a low mumble.
This… this was another thing that was beginning to aggravate Sadie. Whenever Lars was forced to speak to her he always diverted his eyes. She hadn't looked him directly in the eye for weeks. He would look at her, look down and say anything that needed to be said in a near whisper.
"About this." She said, motioning to Lars with her arms.
He seemed to flinch at her words but otherwise remained quiet.
"Lars, you've been acting odd. And you… you haven't been yourself. We haven't done anything fun for weeks. I… I miss you. I put the Island behind us, what about you?" She asked in an almost pleading manner.
Lars simply remained quiet, putting his hands in his pockets and shuffling his feet nervously.
Sadie furrowed her brows and crossed her arms. He was NOT ignoring her. Not this time.
"Lars, look… I'm sorry. Okay? Is that what you want? Maybe hiding the warp pad wasn't a good idea… it could have hurt us in the long run, what with Ghostly running around." Yes, she had adopted Steven's name for the monster. It kinda stuck to be honest.
"But I… just thought it was what you needed. And… it's not like you didn't say and do some mean things on the island yourself!" She said in a small attempt to defend herself.
Lars merely remained quiet, shaking his head slightly as he turned a little ways to look at the wall.
Hurt and anger was quickly beginning to mount in the short blonde.
"Lars, talk to me, please. I… I miss you. We never do anything anymore. You don't talk to me anymore, are… are you really angry with me? About… what happened?" She wasn't just referring to the monster or the warp pad at this point…
He remained quiet, refusing to look at her… refusing to move, refusing to even make a sound… and finally all the irritation, all the anger Sadie had been bottling up these last few weeks tipped over the emotional dam she had kept it all at bay with.
"Well fine! Go ahead and BE angry! What do you have to be angry about anyway?" She hissed through clenched teeth as her shaking hands formed unstable fists.
"Huh? Huh?! What are you so upset about? Huh?! That I hid the way home from you? Okay, fine! I'm sorry! I've said I'm sorry! I was just trying to help you, you self-centered, depressed jerk! I was trying to make you see that things like that could help you! Or maybe that's not it? Are you upset that your first kiss was with ME of all people? And before you deny it, I KNOW that was your first kiss because you're my best friend and I KNOW you. What? You upset because you wasted your first kiss on short, pudgy Sadie instead of some hot beach bimbo?!" Sadie all but screamed, tears in her eyes.
Lars was looking at her now, which was a small victory for her at least. Wide-eyed and mouth agape, he couldn't help but stare at his fuming coworker.
"Well guess what? That was MY first kiss too! And unlike you, I DON'T think I wasted it. Or maybe you're just mad that I saved you? What? Did you WANT to get crushed by some crystalline abomination? Just let it all end? Or did you not want to get saved by a GIRL?! Which is it Lars? Because I know you're upset about something, and if you've got something to say, then just SAY IT!" She did scream that time, and in the back of her mind she was thankful the shop was empty save for the two of them.
The two stared at one another, the store quiet but thick with tension. She had enough of that for a lifetime.
"Whatever." Sadie mumbled out as she turned to head into the back of the store to cool down.
But she stopped.
Two shaking arms, thin and trembling, had encircled her short body, halting her retreat. She could feel the lean but lightly muscled chest press against her back and she felt the hot, ragged breath on the back of her neck.
"…I'm sorry…" she heard, nearly inaudible, like a whisper lost to the wind.
"…what?" she couldn't of heard that. She didn't hear that.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk. I'm sorry for being a bad coworker. I'm sorry for being ungrateful. I'm sorry for being me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lars said softly, his voice haggard.
Sadie was shocked… stunned more like, as she heard the boy behind her continue to say those two impossible words. Lars… was apologizing? And if the tears she could feel hitting the back of her shirt was any indication… he meant it.
She shuffled slightly, blinking as she felt Lars grip on her tighten.
'He doesn't want to let go…' she realized.
With a bit of maneuvering she turned around in his arms, seeing that he was on his knees to better envelop her in his arms. She steeled herself and put her hand under his chin.
"Lars… look at me." She said softly.
He did, albeit reluctantly. His eyes were red and tears were freely running down his face.
"I don't understand… you're sorry?" she asked. She still couldn't quite believe it.
"For… for the way I acted on the island… and all of the crap before then to. I… I was just hurt. Hurt that the one person I thought I could trust… lied to me." He said softly, trying to look anywhere but her.
"I was trying to help. I thought if you just spent some time away from everything…" she explained.
'And some time with me…' the guilty little voice in the back of her mind said quietly.
"I know, I know. It made sense when I calmed down… but it still hurt… you never lied to be before… and it hurt." Lars explained through a scratchy throat.
Sadie looked down with a small frown at that. That… actually made sense. She never thought about what Lars would have felt if her deception actually came out in the open like it had…
"But it doesn't matter… because even if it was a lie… you did it for me. You always do everything for me… and I'm… I'm sorry." He said, breaking away from her hand and looking down to the floor once more, but refusing to release her from his embrace.
Sadie looked at him. Examining every inch of him. She could feel fresh tears welling in her eyes as she took in his exhausted, sad appearance before continuing on.
"If you're sorry why didn't you just tell me? Why… why have you been avoiding me?" she asked with a few choked tears of her own.
"I… I wanted you to forget me…" he mumbled.
"What?" she asked, mouth agape.
"I wanted you to forget me… to stop being my friend… to find another person or people that would treat you better than… than me. You deserve better than me… and I figured… when you did, if you didn't have to worry about me being a screw up at work… it would be a load off your mind." Lars croaked out.
"Why… why would you think that?" Sadie said, her heart heavy with sadness as she heard her friend's confession.
"Why would I- How can you ask that?!" Lars yelled, tightening his hold on the shorter girl.
"Lars…" she nearly whispered as she say the anger in his eyes, but not anger at her… anger at himself.
"Look at me! You know me! I'm nothing but a jerky poser! That's all I'm ever GONNA be! Stuck forever in this doughnut hell while you probably leave… get a life… and-and… find someone." He choked out.
"Lars. You're not a-" she tried, but was immediately cut off.
"Not a what? A poser? Please, anyone can see that. Buck and the others, my parents, even Steven can see it. It's one of the reasons they hate me. What else am I supposedly not? A jerk? Ha! I'm an even bigger jerk than I am a poser! If I wasn't a jerk everyone wouldn't hate me… I wouldn't feel their stares on me and know just from a glance that I disgust them, I wouldn't feel like I'm ALWAYS alone… I wouldn't feel like this…" Lars sobbed.
"Lars…" Sadie whispered, a hand reaching out to brush his cheek.
He shook his head violently, as if scared by her touch.
"And if I wasn't a jerk… then I wouldn't treat you like this… I wouldn't treat the ONE person that makes me feel like I belong, the one person that makes me feel… not alone… like crap. I wouldn't make my Player 2 feel like she could have been anyone. Because she couldn't! It had to be you… it was always you, Sadie… and I made you feel… I'm such a horrible person." Lars broke down again.
Sadie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Lars… had never opened up like this. To her… to… anyone. Not since… the island.
And that's when she realized. He didn't need time away from everyone else. He didn't need peace. He needed someone to listen to… to cry to. He needed her.
More tears dripped from her eyes as her arms wrapped around him tightly. He seemed shocked at the return of his hug and tried to separate but she held him firmly in place.
"Don't talk like that." She told him calmly.
Lars blinked and looked at her hair as she leaned her face into his shoulder.
"I NEVER want to hear you talk like that again, do you hear me? You're not a poser. You came up with your look and quirks before you even wanted to be one of the 'cool kids'. You're unique, and special and everyone can see that. And you're NOT a jerk. Impolite? Rude? Loud? Yes… but that's nothing unusual… you just need a bit of help here and there, Lars. And I want to help you…" Sadie told him calmly.
"But… you said… you called me a jerk… you…" Lars sniffled.
"I know… and I'm sorry. You're not a jerk Lars. You're a good person. And I should know, shouldn't I? I'm your best friend. And I always will be. And I am because… because I care about you Lars… I always have. I care about you… more than a friend even."
Lars looked at her before using all of his strength to push himself away from Sadie. He scrambled back on his hands and rear, staring at her in shock.
"What?" he finally asked.
"I… I care about you Lars. I… like you. Like, a lot." Sadie said, her turn to shuffle her feet nervously.
Lars stared at her for a long time before letting out a sigh. He picked himself up and leaned against the wall behind the counter, letting himself slide down the surface and land on his butt before pulling his legs in on himself in an upright fetal position.
"How?" he asked after a few seconds.
"How?" Sadie repeated.
"How… how can you honestly have feelings for me? I'm a lazy, ungrateful poser… you… I don't deserve someone like you." Lars said quietly as he drew his knees closer to himself.
"Someone like me?" Sadie asked curiously as she sat against the wall next to him.
"You're reliable. You're honest. You're considerate. You're sweet. You're Honest-to-God… just nice. Everything I'm not. Steven was right… everyone's right about me. I'm a jerk." He said as he laid his head against his arms.
"You're not a jerk Lars… and I'm not exactly a prize myself." Sadie said, almost to herself.
"What?" Lars asked, his voice filled with incredulity.
"Well… look at me… I'm short… I'm thick… people say I have too much muscle for a girl… I'm… not exactly the greatest catch." She said with a sad smile, eyes looking at the tiled floor.
"Are you nuts?!" Lars yelled, hands lunging out, gripping her shoulders.
"L-Lars?" she squeaked.
"You honestly think you're… ugly?" Lars asked, as if the very idea was not only idiotic, but offensive.
"I… well…" she stammered.
"Sadie… you have the softest, prettiest blonde hair in Beach City. You have eyes so blue that the ocean is jealous. You have the cutest little nose I've ever seen. And… and, well… I kinda like… strong girls." Lars finished lamely as he realized what he was saying and he turned away, a blush covering his entire face.
Sadie blinked, a blush soon covering her own features to match Lars'.
Did she honestly just hear that? Lars considered her attractive? He thought she was… pretty. She ran a hand through her hair subconsciously as she processed that information.
"…you're not so bad either, Lars…" she said after a long stretch of silence.
"Huh?" he asked intelligently.
"You can be rude, and inconsiderate, and pretty silly… but you're a teenager. We both are. We still have a lot of growing to do… and I know the person I know you really are will come out. I know you're a good person Lars. You just need some help. And… I want to be the one to help you." She said as she reached over and took his hand in hers.
He looked at their joined palms before looking at her.
"But… Sadie, you… you deserve better than-" he tried to say.
"I want you. And I'll decide who is and isn't worth my time, thank you very much Mister Man." She sing-songed playfully as she wiped away the last bit of tears from her eyes.
The two sat there in silence for a long while, simply content to be in each others company, and to feel their hands gently entwined. Finally Lars broke the silence.
"You… you'd really give me another chance… for us? As friends and… m-more? Together?" Lars asked shakily, not daring to look at her.
Sadie smiled as she closed her eyes and leaned against the taller boy's shoulder.
"Of course. I'm you're Player 2, remember?" she giggled.
Lars chuckled along with her before gaining a determined look on his face. Without a second of warning he scooped Sadie up in his arms and sat her on the counter.
"Lars, what-" she was silenced when she felt his lips press against hers, one hand encircling her waist while the other began gently rubbing her neck.
Sadie let out a surprised squeak before she realized what was happening. She closed her eyes and let out a small moan as she returned the kiss in force and wrapped her own arms around her coworker, her hands rubbing small circles into his back.
As their lips meshed together and their tongues danced in equal measures of grace and violence, they both realized something.
This wasn't like the kiss on the island. That kiss had been… needy, desperate. Filled with the fear they both felt. This one was… peaceful. All their feelings laid bare and represented in this one expression of affection. It was loving, it was gentle, it felt… right.
Neither one of them wanted it to end.
Which made it all the more embarrassing when they both heard the little jingle of the doorbell and heard an all too familiar voice echo through the store.
"Hey guys! I finally convinced Pearl to eat something so I'm gonna need a dozen of-" Steven stopped suddenly as he took in the sight before him.
The two teenagers, lips still locked, looked at one another before looking at Steven. Steven in turn looked both of them in the eyes before nodding. The young boy slowly began to walk backwards and opened the door, gently to keep the bell from dinging too loudly. Before walking out of it, still backwards, he smiled at both of them and uttered a single word.
"Privacy."
And with that, the young boy was gone and the two teenagers were left in an embarrassing, but still pleasurable, state of affairs. The two slowly, and a bit reluctantly, separated and simply looked at each other.
Together, almost as if on cue, the two smiled, which quickly turned into chuckling, which quickly turned into full-blown laughter.
Stifling her giggling, Sadie jumped off the counter and took Lars hand in hers.
"Come on Player 1. This is still work and we need to clean the doughnut trays in the back." Sadie smiled brightly.
"Yeah, okay… so… does this mean we're… you know?" Lars asked as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"Do you want us to be?" Sadie asked easily, never losing her smile.
"Yes." He answered immediately.
"Then we are." She explained, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
"Okay… h-hey, Sadie?" Lars said, gaining a smile of his own.
"Yes?" she asked looking up at him.
"I'm… I'm gonna get better. I promise. I'm not gonna try. I AM gonna be better. For you." He said simply.
She smiled lovingly at him as they reached the sinks.
"I know."
AN: And that's that. I hope you enjoyed it! Oh, and also a few explanations.
My head cannon is that Lars may suffer from a very mild case of depression. It's not unusual, especially for teenagers who already have to go through the hell that is puberty.
I'm also aware that this may come off weird to some people. That insecure Sadie and depressed Lars may be using a relationship as a crutch. I however… completely disagree. Love is an incredibly powerful force in my opinion. And used as a medicine it can be used to such great purpose. A steady, stable relationship has cured many people of their mental ailments, including insecurity and depression. And beyond that it's lead to a lifetime of happiness. Sometimes… we just need someone to be there for us. Someone to hear us cry and to then make us laugh.
Besides, we've all seen the Uncle Grandpa episode and know the writers are fully aware of the Sadie Lars ship. And if that was a noncanon, April Fool's episode… which usually does the REVERSE of what people want and expect in TV series… it may stand to reason that the writers themselves support this couple.
At any rate, hope some of you enjoyed reading this fic. A bit rushed and contrived in some places I feel… but I just had to get this out of me, because all the Sadie Lars fics I've seen so far… just have either a sad or bittersweet ending.
But, until next time, see ya folks later!
Ja Ne!
