Naruto © Kishimoto Masashi
Big Time © Big & Rich
Rating: M (drinking, language, sexual implications and Naruto-crack)
Pairing(s): suggested NaruHina and suggested SasuSaku
Character(s): Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura
Genre(s): Humor/Friendship
I highly recommend listening to the songs as you read these one-shots.
I'm sorry; I hate translating Japanese suffixes in English, mainly because it sounds weird. Master Kakashi and Granny Tsunade just sound so…not right!! So I'm sticking to the suffixes!
Dedicated to Konoha's Loudest, Most Unpredictable Ninja. Happy Birthday!
Big Time
I'm having the time of my life
No worries on my mind
Everything's just fine
Today is even better than yesterday
Everything's going my way
I'm living in the big time
Big & Rich
Inside a pub popular with Konoha's of-age ninja, three friends sat at the bar, drinking, talking and laughing cheerfully.
"Finally, I'm twenty-four!" Naruto slammed his empty bottle of sake on the counter. "I figure Tsunade no baa-chan will be ready to give up her job right about now!"
On his left side, Sakura gave a loud snort. "Yeah, right. Are you ready to take on twelve hours worth of paperwork that piles up everyday?"
"Nah!" He patted Sakura on the back. "That's what you and Shizune nee-chan are for! I'm not ready to give up ANBU!"
"Then you're not ready to be Hokage yet." On Naruto's right, Sasuke sipped thoughtfully at the last of his first sake bottle. His cheeks were already tinged a light pink.
"Hmm, true that! Baa-chan has already guaranteed me the position anyways…" Naruto slurred, drinking out of his new, second bottle.
"You two are such light-weights!" Sakura giggled, ordering a third bottle.
Sasuke smirked as he opened his second bottle. "Excuse us if we haven't been drinking since we were thirteen."
Sakura blushed as music suddenly blared out behind them from the jukebox. "Well, Tsunade-shishou can be a bad influence when she wants to be…"
"Oi! Taro no jii-chan!" Naruto called to the bartender. The man turned and smiled at Naruto, while Sakura scowled at him.
"Can't you be a little more respectful?!"
"It's fine, Sakura-san! What'll it be, Naruto-kun?"
"An Awamori cocktail for Sakura-chan!" Then he hissed in an undertone to Taro, "She needs it!"
He nodded and turned to gather the ingredients for the drink while Sakura's face lit up.
"My favorite!"
"You and Sasuke are paying!" Naruto cheerfully reminded her.
"Don't care!" Sakura ruffled Naruto's messy blonde hair.
"Don't run up the bill with your tolerance," Sasuke mumbled.
Sakura eyed her boys warily. "No…I'll need to be somewhat sober to get you two home."
"Heheh," Naruto chuckled. "No need, babe! We can crash at your place and, you know, with two guys and one girl, we can—"
"NARUTO!" Sakura bopped him on the head. "You pervert! You spend way too much time with Jiraiya-sama!"
"Shit, Sakura-chan!" Naruto gazed up at her with his best watery, puppy eyes. "I was gonna say we can play monopoly!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, but his attempt to look cool was destroyed by his hiccup. "Dobe, your so called 'secret' word for wild monkey sex hanging from the ceiling fan is monopoly."
Naruto and Sakura's jaws dropped at they stared at him.
"Dude, if you were sober, would you say that?" Naruto started giggling.
"No. Fuck off." Sasuke took a big gulp of his drink.
"But, you know." Naruto tried to stifle his giggling. "That whole wild monkey sex thing doesn't sound like a bad idea."
"Boys, just stop." Sakura had to intervene.
"I tried it once. Kind of hard, but fun once you got the hang of it."
"Guys, my virgin ears." Her eye started twitching.
"You'll have to show me the ropes sometime. I'm always looking for ideas to get Hinata out of her little shell."
"Boys!"
"Maybe Monday? Me and Sakura are gonna go at it all day tomorrow."
"OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!" Sakura reached out and, placing her hands on the backs of their heads, slammed both of their foreheads to the counter. Neither of them got up.
"Goodness!" Taro laughed, setting down her cocktail.
"Sorry, Taro-san. Here." Sakura put a generous amount of bills into his hand before dragging her boys out of the bar, intending on leaving their sorry butts to sleep it off on her living room floor.
She was never going drinking with them again.
Awamori is an alcoholic beverage indigenous to and unique to Okinawa, Japan. It is made from rice, but is not a direct product of brewing (like sake) but of distillation (like shōchū).
—Referenced from the Awamori article on Wikipedia.
Taro means "Great Son."
—Referenced from www(dot)20000-names(dot)com
