Too Late?

It was… Horrible… Frankly horrible.

They had settled into an awkward sort of relationship. She wasn't sure if they could call each other friends even. They were civil to each other, had brief chats – though the topics were always carefully chosen and responses deliberately delivered after a short pause. They sometimes joked even. But that was where it ended. There were no shared tea breaks, no lunches, and certainly no impromptu evening visits by him to her house.

At work it wasn't so bad. Patients served as a distraction. But at home… At home there was nothing to stop her mulling over events, nothing to stop her regretting those fateful words, though she still could not think of an alternative. Still, it didn't stop her hoping to hear a knock on her door, wishing for the phone to ring, anything to return things to how they were before. Before she'd ended everything.

There were times, when the pain wasn't so intense, during which she merely allowed herself to drift, remembering long night, dinners, instances. She thought back with a soft smile at the evenings they'd spent cuddled together on her settee, talking quietly and sharing kisses. There had been numerous lunches on the seafront, providing a brief respite from colleagues and patients and visitors. Jill would sometimes make a packed lunch for them both and they would share it, reminiscent of a married couple. And she remembered the smaller moments: a shared smile upon meeting in reception; a chaste kiss as they passed through an empty corridor; a squeeze of concealed hands to convey they both felt the tedium of Mr Harper's latest economy drive.

They had worked well as colleagues, friends, and a couple. For the first time in her life she felt comfortable in approaching someone with a problem, without fear of being ridiculed or chided. He seemed to feel the same for he made sure to thank her numerous times for her support during what had been an incredibly difficult time for him.

And now it was no more. There were no more kisses, no touches, no comfort.

And all it came down to was that she missed him… She missed Gordon.