I'm proud to say I have been a fanfiction writer for one whole year, loving every moment! Exactly 365 ago I published my first fic, Need You Now, which was a songfic. Since a songfic was my first published piece, I only thought it was fitting that I write another songfic to come full circle (plus, I haven't wrote one in awhile). The story inspired by "It Won't Be Like This For Long" by Darius Rucker.
Eric absolutely loathed the corrupted human being who invented the alarm clock. Sure, the device had practical uses, but to many it was just something to created to ruin someone's dreams; not that Eric had had the opportunity to dream much, he had literally only received a total of an hour of uninterrupted sleep.
He turned off the blaring of the alarm clock, sighing at the fact it was already time to get up for work. Before forcing himself away from the luxury of the soft mattress and cozy blankets, he allowed himself to glance at his wife, still at peace within her subconscious; the alarm hadn't aroused her.
Calleigh laid close beside him, her head resting against her hand, clearly enjoying some well earned rest. Though Eric was certain she adored her maternity leave because she got to spend ample time with their daughter, he was just as sure that taking care of a two-week-old baby was exhausting her. When he returned from work every night, he would enter the nursery to see Calleigh cradling baby Madelyn in her arms as she fed her, a tender, motherly smile gracing her lips; it was a sight instantly fell in love with. But Calleigh would always have heavy bags under her eyes and it was enough to make Eric get up whenever he heard Madelyn crying when he was home.
Calleigh sighed contently and adjusted her head on the pillow, obviously not going to awake quite yet. He chuckled softly to himself and pushed himself out of bed, practically dragging his feet into the hallway as he headed toward the kitchen. He paused at Madelyn's room, gently pushing open the door to peer inside. Beside the wall sat the crib, wear a dark haired baby slept soundly, her tiny chest rising and falling as she breathed. Her fingers twitched as she dreamed and Eric heart melted, as it did every time his eyes fell onto that beautiful face.
He took another second to look upon his daughter in awe before proceeding down the hall, the sound of coffee calling his name.
Making as little noise as possible, Eric began to make up a pot of coffee and removed a mug from the cupboard just as silently.
As the coffee began to brew, Eric felt his eyelids become heavy and difficult to keep open. He forcefully jerked himself up, only to seconds later have to stifle a yawn. Frustrated, he turned on the cold water and leaned over the sink. Eric cupped his hands under the faucet to gather a sufficient amount of water before allowing it to submerge his face. The liquid clung to him and the shock alerted his exhausted body.
Eric heard the sound of a light laugh behind him. He turned to see Calleigh, in her silky black robe and slippers, grinning as she stepped towards him.
"You look beat," she sighed, shaking her head.
"Thanks," he replied with a playful roll of his eyes. "What are you doing up?"
"I woke up and you were gone, I wanted to see where you were," Calleigh shrugged.
"You found me," he smiled, grabbing some paper towel to remove the traces of water from his face.
Calleigh nodded and snaked her arms around his tank-topped chest. She could see the definite circles under his eyes and the red lines against the white, they were nothing less than bloodshot.
"You know, you wouldn't be this tired if you'd let me get up in the middle of the night sometimes," she pointed out.
"Not a chance," Eric shook his head, placing a pair of loving hands on her hips.
Calleigh rolled her eyes, but was, like her husband, sleep deprived and didn't have the energy to protest. Instead, she stretched up on her toes to put her lips to his, which were still cold from the water. They had been married three years, but the sheer thrill Eric received from kissing Calleigh had, like wine, intensified with time; despite the fact their lips didn't have much force in the embrace due to feebleness they both had from sleep deprivation.
"We're going to miss this someday," she whispered when she leaned out of the kiss. "We will be missing diapers and midnight feedings before too long."
Eric nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe it's been two weeks already."
"I know," Calleigh breathed, reaching up to delicately trace his upper lip with her finger as the phone rang on its cradle. The two automatically froze, for once the phone began to ring, a wail from down the hall followed.
Softly chuckling, they shared a final loving glance, knowing the next year or so was going to proceed in the format much like this.
"I'll get her," Eric volunteered, giving his wife a quick peck on the lips before heading towards the nursery. He heard Calleigh answer the phone to halt it's obnoxious ringing. Calleigh began to converse with the person on the other end of the line as he stepped into the baby's room. Madelyn was crying, absolutely sobbing, as loud as she could manage. Eric rushed over to her and, supporting her head, gingerly lifted her out of her crib and rocked her against him.
"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay," he whispered, soothingly, the motion of his arms and the tenderness of his voice calming his daughter, the cries began to subside and the emerald eyes opened. Madelyn subconsciously curled into his chest, letting out a small, heartwarming yawn.
Still gently swaying her, Eric sat in the nearby rocking chair. He looked at the baby girl he proudly called his daughter with complete adoration. Taking a moment to soak in her beautiful features (which she clearly inherited from her mother), Eric knew all the nights devoid of sleep and all the mornings he awoke painstakingly tired, were absolutely worth it.
"I love you, baby," he breathed before leaning down to lay a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you" was a phrase Eric and Calleigh used excessively over the next several years. Unfortunately, the years flew by faster than they would have preferred. They literally felt as though one day they were giving a new born round the clock care, but the next day that same baby had said her first word, taken her first steps, celebrated her first birthday and, as of now, her first day of school was fast approaching.
The night before the dreaded first day, Eric eventually made himself fall asleep by repetitively reminding himself that it was only her first day of preschool, not the first day of her senior year, he and Calleigh weren't going to have to worry about that for another thirteen years. The thought was comforting, enough for him to finally fall into a peaceful sleep.
But from the depths of his abyssal slumber, Eric could hear the light use of syllables attempting to form one word, a word his brain wasn't able to comprehend being so deep within his subconscious; he would have passed it off as a dream either way. But he slowly began to be pulled away from the swaddling of sleep, the constants and vowels of the word he kept hearing becoming clear, as he became mindful of a small hand resting on his forearm.
Eric opened his heavy eyes, fully aware of the world now around him. The touch of a small hand that reached out from behind him became more distinct, as did the word that had began to pull him into the night in the first place.
"Daddy," a little voice whispered, a voice that brought a smile to Eric's lips. He gently shifted his weight and unwrapped his arms from around his wife. The silhouette of his four-year-old daughter stood at the side of their king size bed. Eric reached over to turn on the lamp, sending a glow over the small child. The subtle lighting made the naturally blonde streaks in her sandy hair highlight and brought out the contrast of her ivory skin and dark eyes. Her lip was jutted out slightly to form a tiny pout and her hand that wasn't on Eric's arm was clutching one of the numerous stuffed animals they found scattered throughout the house in her hand.
"Why are you up so late?" Eric asked, noticing it had just turned four-thirty AM, though his voice wasn't disapproving; instead, he was smiling.
"I can't sleep," Madelyn whispered.
"And why not?"
"Because I don't want to go to preschool," she pouted.
I don't want you to go either, Eric admitted to himself, it felt like only yesterday she had began taking her first steps, now she was stepping out of the house and into the school system.
He scooted over in bed, patting the mattress as an invite for her to climb up in. She pulled herself up onto the bed and cuddled next to her father. Eric wrapped his arms around her tiny body, laying a kiss on her forehead.
"Baby, you'll have tons of fun tomorrow, I promise," he said.
"But I want to stay with you and Momma," Madelyn sighed, holding tighter to Eric.
This was where the difficult part of parenting came into life: what he wanted or wished could happen versus what was best for his daughter. If Eric had it this way, Madelyn would never go to school, she would stay a little girl forever and never have to go somewhere to force her to grow up; unfortunately, fantasy and reality were two different sides of the coin.
"I know, we want you to stay, too," he whispered. "But, baby, you have to go to school so you can learn."
Madelyn groaned at that and her eyes became worried with the anticipation of going to a new place, which to most children was terrifying. The fear in her green eyes made Eric's heart ache; there were many things he may have been able to endure, but seeing Madelyn sad, scared or having any negative emotions wasn't one of them.
"Would it make you feel better if I let you stay in here the rest of the night?" he asked.
The distraction seemed to be enough, for Madelyn's eyes lit up from their original hesitant luster. But even when her fear evaporated in the midst of sleep, it returned the following morning when they arrived at Miami-Dade Elementary.
Madelyn looked absolutely petrified as Eric and Calleigh escorted her inside. She clung to each of her parents' hands, both looking, for a reason the child couldn't fathom, a little bit sad.
The trio walked passed the hall that was specifically for the kindergarten classes and the upper grades, the gymnasium and the cafeteria before reaching the section of the school where the preschool rooms were located. They had learned of the room Madelyn had been assigned to last week at the open house and it was at that room they knew they were destined to leave her.
Eric and Calleigh, with heavy hearts, hugged and kissed Madelyn goodbye, silently reminding themselves she would only be here for a few hours. But when she turned to walk over the threshold into the classroom, she took one look around before running back and locking her arms around Eric's leg. He and Calleigh shared a glance at the expected reaction, but it was one they had been hoping wouldn't occur.
"Maddie," Calleigh whispered, patiently, as she leaned down to be level with her daughter. "I know this is a bit scary, but you'll be fine once you get used to it."
Madelyn shook her head in protest and held onto Eric's leg tighter.
A woman who looked no older than Eric walked out of the classroom, her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail save from the stray bangs that framed her heart shaped face. Her smile was warm and her jade colored eyes sympathetic; Eric and Calleigh recognized her instantly as the teacher, Mrs. Dawson, they had met when they first toured the school.
She smiled kindly at them and got down on her knees beside Calleigh and Madelyn, who was now hiding her face against the khaki material of his pants.
"Sweetie," the teacher said. "Do you want to try coming in?"
Despite the Mrs. Dawson's friendly voice and sweet manner, Madelyn shook her head of sandy hair.
"Are you sure? We are about to draw a few pictures."
"See, doesn't that sound like fun?" Calleigh asked, giving her daughter, who finally turned her head, an excited smile.
"But I want to stay with you two," Madelyn sighed.
"Well, hon, Daddy and I would be at work anyway, who'd have much more fun here."
Madelyn considered this, looking down at the ground before turning up to look at Eric.
"Baby, you'll be fine," he whispered, stroking the back of her hair.
Her father's promise seemed to be enough for her, as she let go of his leg. "Okay," Madelyn nodded.
"Good, why don't you go sit with everyone else of the rug?" Mrs. Dawson suggest, pointing in the direction of the other children, all looking as apprehensive as Madelyn.
Madelyn took a step inside, turning around one time to wave at her parents, before proceeding to the assembly of children as Mrs. Dawson and Calleigh came back up to a standing position.
"Don't worry," Mrs. Dawson grinned. "Most of them get nervous on their first day, this is completely normal."
"Is there anything we can do?" Eric asked, still concerned, certain he would remain that way until her first day of school was over.
The woman shook her head, reassuringly. "It'll take time, but once she gets settled in, she's going to love it and she'll soon be excited to get here."
With those final comforting words, Mrs. Dawson walked back into her classroom and, with a heavy sigh, Calleigh lifted up her feet and trudged out the door. Eric took one last glance at Madelyn as she sat on the ladybug shaped rug with the rest of the students before following Calleigh out of the hall, down the corridor and out into the Miami sunlight.
Calleigh looked up at her husband; the look in the depths of his eyes hadn't changed all morning. They still contained that same grim character they had had when they woke up that morning, Madelyn snuggled against Eric's chest.
"You okay?" Calleigh asked, reaching up to run her hand up and down his spine.
"Yeah," he nodded, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I just can't believe she's starting school already."
"Yeah, I know," she agreed, her head hanging slightly as they headed towards the car.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she said through a faux smile. "I just keep reminding myself that it is preschool and not her first day of college or anything."
"I'm trying to block that image of her out," Eric admitted as they loaded separate sides of the car.
But he knew the image of his baby girl driving away from home and into the real world wasn't far off and would inevitably one day soon become a reality. And if he thought releasing her to the land preschool was heartbreaking, he didn't want to think about how hard the future was going to be when she was truly growing up.
His worst nightmares were haunted by the dreaded future that was her teenage years when she wouldn't ask him to tuck her in and lie in bed beside her. His heart tore to shreds just picturing the day she no longer wanted him to read her a story before she went to sleep. Then years later when she grew older and would rather be with her friends instead of sitting on his lap and the day she would begin to refer to him as just "Dad" as opposed to the preferred "Daddy."
Sure, right now Eric was the only man in her life, her number one as it were, but he knew in his heart that it was a temporary thing and it was only a matter of time until someone replaced him as her favorite man. Eric would then be the one to walk her down the aisle where he would have to face the fact his little girl was grown up and he'd have to let her go—forever.
"Eric," Calleigh whispered, pulling him out of his reverie. He recognized the look he was receiving from her. She was reading him, she could sense his anguish and he knew there would be no point denying it were she to says something; it was a lost battle for him to hide anything from Calleigh. "Remember, she is only four. She still needs us."
He tried to take his wife's words to heart, knowing that in a way Madelyn would always need them, but as she got older she would start needing them less and less.
"I know, just not in the way she used to," Eric shrugged, still clearly remembering the days when Madelyn was a baby and relied on them for everything, she needed them to feed her, change her and rock her to sleep.
"True," Calleigh nodded. "But she still needs us for a lot. She still needs us when she's sick, when she's sad," she reached over to gently stroke Eric's cheek, "and she still definitely needs her daddy. She'll always need him."
Eric chuckled. "Yeah, well, same can be said for her momma."
Calleigh smiled, gratefully, before motioning her head towards the road. "We're going to be late," she sighed.
He nodded and turned the keys in the ignition.
They pulled away from the school and, before they knew it, they were putting miles of causeway between them and the most precious thing in their world.
By the time Friday night came about, Madelyn was thoroughly enjoying going to school everyday. She couldn't stop talking about all the activities she and her peers did throughout the day when Eric tucked her in bed that night after reading her a story, in which she sat in his lap for.
"And then Maria and I did a puzzle that looked like Woody and Buzz," she smiled.
"Was it hard?" Eric asked.
"Nah, it was a piece of cake," Madelyn grinned, broadly.
Eric laughed at his daughter's adorable response for the situation. He had become hopelessly addicted to the smile and the stories she had when she came home. She always told them what they did and a few friends she had made in the short space of time.
"See, Momma and I told you you'd enjoy school once you got used to it," he smiled, tickling her sides and making her squeal with delight, her laughter one of the most beautiful sounds Eric had ever had the privilege of hearing. "Now, you get some sleep and have sweet dreams," he whispered when the tickling and laughing ceased, making sure the covers weren't too tight, but were enough to keep her warm.
"Daddy, can you stay, please?" she asked, her voice naturally sweet and it had the ability to melt the heart he once thought was made of stone. But his heart turned to putty and he couldn't resist smiling down at her.
"Sure," he nodded. Madelyn smiled, excitedly, and scooted over to make room for her dad.
Eric laid down on top of the deep purple blankets and held the little body in his arms, lightly kissing her temple.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Daddy," she grinned up at him as she stifled a yawn.
Madelyn nestled into her pillows, hugging the stuffed orca closer to her as Eric smoothed his hand over her hair. She closed her eyes and, eventually, her entire body relaxed as she drifted to sleep.
Eric seized the moment to take in his beautiful, perfect, daughter. The reality of the week had hit him hard, causing him to think about the cruel little element named time and how everything revolved around it. Ever since he and Calleigh left Madelyn at preschool, he saw moments with this daughter with a timer on them, even as he lay here with her now, all he could think was how the moments he would lay down beside her were numbered. Many moments were numbered, the weekends, the mornings, the Christmases, the birthdays, everything. Those times Madelyn would spend here could be counted on fingers and toes. That mere fact destroyed Eric.
But Calleigh was right, for now she still needed them, if she didn't, Eric wouldn't have tucked her in that night or be lying in bed with her. He got to be her hero for a few more years and maybe, with a little bit of luck, one of her heroes forever. He was trying to make the most of every moment, but no matter how much they cherished time, it wouldn't be enough make it stop.
"Maddie," he whispered to what he thought was her sleeping body. "Promise me you'll never grow up."
"I promise, Daddy," she mumbled, adjusting her head on her pillow.
Eric chuckled as he looked at his little baby, his angel. "That's my girl."
