A hard day's work?

Reno stalked along the corridors of the Turk's new base in a foul mood. The base was filthy, run-down and stuck in some Godforsaken place in the far reaches of the planet, it was cold, the roof was leaking and judging from the amount of water cascading from the roof it was a veritable thunderstorm outside. Reno was so absorbed in hating his life he nearly walked into Elena.

"Watch it!" She called as she quickly stumbled out of his way. Reno looked up.

"Oh, sorry Elena." He apologised. Elena looked at him.

"You jolly well should be." She replied. "Tseng wants to see you. He asked me to give you this." She handed him a note. Unopened. Typical Elena. Reno would have read it and resealed it, but she just gave it unopened. Silly girl.

"Thanks." He said absentmindedly, then looked up at the ceiling in anger as it dripped on him. "Damn roof." He muttered. Elena edged out of his way. When Reno was in a mood, people got prodded with his Nightstick. Reno looked back at her. "What?" he asked.

"Um… nothing." Elena said quickly. "Leaks a bit, doesn't it?" She added, glancing at the roof herself. The fact that they were on the ground floor and there were three floors said a lot about the state of the place. And the walls were painted brown. Brown. Elena shuddered. She hated brown.

"Yes." Reno replied. "And anyway, I have to see Tseng."

"Yeah…" Elena said.

"See you later?" Reno asked. Elena nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere. Nowhere to go!" Reno nodded and continued down the corridor, giving the ceiling dirty looks whenever it dripped on him. He wondered what state Tseng's office would be in. It was on the third floor, after all.

When Reno reached the stairs he had to stop. There was water streaming down them in a tiny torrent. He sighed, and got out his phone, putting in Tseng's number. He didn't have to wait long.

"Shinra Manufacturing in Administrative Research. This is Tseng. How may I help?"

"By bloody well fixing the stairs!" Reno replied.

"Oh. Reno." Tseng said, his manner changing from I'm-only-here-to-help-because-I'm-forced-to and switched to you-are-in-lots-of-trouble-mate. Reno winced. He couldn't remember doing anything wrong… but then again, some of the what he politely referred to as "lesser Turks" often blamed stuff on him… Reno belatedly remembered the note and unfolded it. It said: USE THE LIFT, DAMMIT! In Tseng's ever-so-neat writing.

"Ah." Reno said. "Um, Sir, where is the lift?" He asked hopefully. He heard Tseng sigh on his end of the phone.

"Reno, I showed you where the lift was last week." Reno thought back to last week.

"Er… which day would that have been, Sir?" He asked, crossing his fingers and thinking please not Wednesday, please not Wednesday…

"Wednesday, Reno. Remember?"

"Er… I may have been… slightly tipsy… at the time… Sir." Reno admitted. Wednesday was a beer-and-other-spirits induced blur. There may have been lifts involved, but Reno was not likely to remember.

"Oh, Reno." Tseng sighed in exasperation. "I thought you were walking funny. I have half a mind to ban you from drinking altogether,"

"Sir, please-"

"Shut up and listen." Tseng cut in. "It is down the corridor with the shades of Ghastly Pink on the walls."

"The pink Elena hates?"

"YES! NOW GET MOVING!" Tseng's side went dead. Reno could have sworn he heard the slam from where he was standing. Reno swivelled round; creating a current of ripples in the mini waterfall around him, and headed towards the Corridor of Ghastly Pink. He remembered Elena saying she hated the colour… that was pretty much all he could remember form Wednesday. Strange that he only remembered Elena… He shook his head to clear his thoughts and proceeded through the Room of Disgusting Yellow. He and Elena had come up with the nicknames on their last joint day off. He could remember Rude's annoyance at such "childish games". Reno tried hard not to laugh.

Well, the place had a lift! Reno stepped inside it, a little worried at the slightly wrong mechanical noises it was making. If it broke down with him inside… someone would get bashed with his Nightstick. Probably not his rescuer, however. Just an annoying little recruit. Yeah. Maybe he would hit one anyway… the lift shuddered to a halt on the third floor. Well, hopefully the third floor. The lift doors slid slowly open, scraping rust off as they did so. Honestly, if he had more power, Reno would have made heads roll for sticking the Turks in this horrible place.

Reno stepped out of the lift, wincing as he heard the noises it made when it travelled back down. When Reno turned down the corridor, Tseng was standing outside his door, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Um… you wanted to see me, Sir?" Reno asked, uncertain of Tseng's mood. Tseng in a bad mood was not to be crossed.

"Damn right I did." Tseng snapped back. "And I would have thought you would have had the brains to at least read the damn note before calling me."

"Sorry Sir…" Reno mumbled, playing it safe.

"Reno, sometimes I just don't know what to do with you. If you weren't so damn good at your job you can be damn sure I would have fired you by now." Reno looked at the floor, trying to project an image of being humble (even though he wasn't) and trying to avoid Tseng's stare at the same time. Reno, at times like this (i.e., when he was being told off) got very good at taking in details. One rather worrying detail was that the floor seemed to be made of mould. "I'm half tempted to remove all alcohol from the damn building- but I doubt any of us could live in this place without alcohol. Just… try to behave a little more, why don't you?"

"Yes, Sir." Reno mumbled. Black and green mould…

"Just… get out of my sight, Reno." Reno looked up gratefully.

"Yes, Sir!" He said, and turned around.

"And stay off the alcohol!" Tseng yelled at his retreating figure.

Reno walked as fast as he dared towards the stair, not wanting to stay too long in the presence of an angry Tseng. He'd had too many bad experiences on that front. He rounded the corner and reached the stairs, unwisely taking them two at a time. The severely rotted stairs gave way when he was about half way down, and Elena found him five minutes later muttering extremely inventive curses.

"Have you been talking to Cid Highwind again?" Elena called up to him. Reno looked up from his mutterings of how much the stairs would suffer.

"I have had it up to here with this building." He replied. "Someone will suffer for sticking us in this Godforsaken place!" Reno tugged uselessly at his leg, which was stuck in what was left of the stair. Elena laughed.

"I guess I better get you out." She said, and started to carefully make her way up to Reno.

"Watch out for the rotted parts." Reno warned.

"Like you're not warning enough!" Elena replied, trying not to laugh. Reno watched her carefully skirting parts of the stairs that were obviously about to fall apart. That was a relatively hard thing to do, as water was still pouring down them. That thought reminded Reno that his jacket was most probably ruined.

"Damn!" He cursed.

"What now?" Elena asked, nearly at Reno's level.

"My damn jacket's going to have to go to the damn cleaners all because of this damn building!" He yelled in frustration. Elena burst out laughing.

"Is that it?" She asked. Reno nodded slowly.

"For now." He said in a threatening voice, giving the stairs evil glances.

"The stairs aren't alive, you know." Elena told him, examining the board his foot had gone through.

"It makes me feel better." Reno replied, well aware that he had probably just made himself look like a fool. Elena didn't reply. "Can you get me out?" Reno asked, hopefully. Elena nodded.

"I think so." She replied. "But… if it goes wrong, you may end up slightly hurt…" Reno sighed.

"Better that than this." He said in disgust. "This damn building is on the verge of falling apart!" Elena nodded emphatically.

"I agree. Now, don't move." She cautioned him. "And put your hands on the stair above. It could stop you falling." Reno was a little nervous now, but he did as Elena asked. She looked up at Reno. "Sorry if this doesn't work." She said, and hit the board with her fist. It fell away, and Reno (who had been expecting something of the sort.) quickly grabbed hold of the stair above him and pulled himself up.

"Let everyone know that I hate this building." He growled. "But don't tell them why." He added quickly, aware of what would happen if this little incident got around.

"If you like." Elena replied, looking grateful that she hadn't sent Reno crashing down to the floor below.

"Elena, you are a Godsend. I mean it." Reno said emphatically. Elena blushed.

"It was no problem; really, I couldn't just leave you stuck there…" She trailed off. Reno carefully stepped onto the stair she was on.

"My jacket." He started "Is flipping ruined." Elena laughed.

"Being a little more polite now you're out of the stair, aren't you?" She observed. Reno shuddered at the memory.

"I am going to get a dry shirt." He stated, and walked down the stairs. Elena followed him. They ended up in what Tseng had called the "common room", and what Reno and Elena had renamed the "that blue does not go with that green" room. This was where a collection of "various spare shirts" was kept. There were also two other drawers marked "Various spare jackets" and "Ties." Reno didn't often bother with the latter. He absentmindedly took off his jacket and, leaning out of the window, attempted to wring out most of the water. The water which came out was a horrible green colour, the same colour of the walls in fact, and Reno winced when he thought of how much the cleaning was going to cost him.

"That is not the right colour for water!" He yelled in frustration. Really, he wasn't having a good day.

"It's not the right colour for this room either." Elena said, prodding a wall with one finger. Reno nodded while trying desperately to wring out more of the water. His poor jacket was looking rather limp. Reno threw it down on the floor in disgust.

"That," he said, prodding his jacket with a foot. "Is going to cost so damn much!" Elena laughed. "It's not funny!" He protested.

"It is, Reno. Admit it." Elena replied. Reno made an annoyed noise and grabbed a towel from the table (when the roof leaked as much as theirs, you needed lots of towels around the place.)

"I hate this place." He stated, and started unbuttoning his sopping wet shirt. Elena went over to the only chair in the room not currently soaked and sat down. Reno peeled his shirt off (he was certain it had a slight green tinge) and started to try and dry himself off. Elena walked over to the "various shirts" drawer and started searching through it for a shirt for Reno. She found one and threw it at him. Reno caught it. "Cheers." He thanked her. When he was certain he was as dry as possible, he chucked the towel on the (very damp) floor and started putting on the clean shirt. He noticed that the towel had a very definite green tinge, and winced again. At this rate, he was going to need a whole new wardrobe. Elena walked over to the towel and prodded it with a foot.

"That is proof that this place is in serious need of repairs." She said in disgust. Reno nodded, finishing buttoning his shirt. "You forgot the top one." Elena pointed out. Reno shook his head.

"I never do that one up." He replied. "Ugh… I'll go out to the tow- village tonight and get this jacket to the dry cleaners." He stated. "And then maybe I'll get drunk." He added as an afterthought. Elena shook her head.

"Heaven knows you deserve it, but is that really wise after you've just been shouted at by Tseng?" She asked him. Reno looked a little shocked.

"How in hell did you know he'd just shouted at me?" He asked.

"I could hear him from downstairs." Reno winced. Tseng must have been loud.

"If you're going out, fine, but promise me you're not going to get plastered." She insisted. Reno sighed.

"Fine, fine." He gave in. "Hey… why don't you come along to make sure I don't?" Reno reasoned that her coming would stop him getting too drunk (he was still planning on drinking a little.) And it would give her something to do. And Rude was 'out', so he couldn't ask him. Which was a shame really, as Rude was a good guy to get drunk with. He usually stayed sober enough to remember how to use a phone.

"Well…" Elena hesitated. "I guess… there's no harm in going. I mean, I had some paperwork to do…"

"Stuff the paperwork." Reno stated. "It ain't going anywhere." Elena sighed.

"All right." She agreed. "If it means you don't get plastered." Reno thought abut the time he last got that drunk. He couldn't remember much. Last Wednesday came back to haunt him with its memorylessness.

"Come on then." He said, grabbing her arm.

"Hey, hey, hold on a second…" Elena protested. "You're going into Yemouth dresses like that!" Reno stopped.

"Damn right. And you look too much like a Turk." He replied. Elena started to stutter protests. "Oh, come on! Do you seriously think you can have a night out in uniform?" Reno stopped her.

"Well…" Elena started. Reno shook his head.

"Oh no. You're dressing down a little for once. Let your hair down!" He looked at Elena's almost-shoulder-length hair. "Not that you ever have it up…"

"Oh, fine." Elena agreed. "What do you want me to do?" Reno looked at her.

"Well…" He started. "I'd undo this button, and this one…" He undid the top two buttons of her shirt. "As if you do up the top one…" He muttered. Elena went red.

"At least I follow the rules!" She protested as Reno undid the buttons on her sleeve.

"Yeah, whatever. Roll up your sleeves." He told her. Elena looked a little confused.

"How… far…?" She asked.

"Two turns, I reckon." Reno replied. "And untuck your shirt." He added. Elena did so, reluctantly. "Oh, and take off your jacket." Reno said.

"Are you mad? It's freezing out there!" Elena protested. Reno considered it.

"Fine. Keep the jacket." He agreed. Elena leaned past Reno to look in the window at her reflection.

"I look like a tramp!" She wailed. Reno clapped his hands together.

"Perfect!" He declared. Elena looked at him like he was crazy.

"What!" She demanded.

"It means you don't look like a Turk!" Reno explained happily. "So come on!" He continued, grabbing her again. Elena allowed herself to be lead through the building by a far too overenthusiastic Reno. His occasional dirty glances at the walls reassured her that he wasn't too exited about simply going to the cleaner's.

They ended up in one of the company cars, with Reno driving.

"Slow down!" Elena wailed as they spend past another car far too fast for her liking. Reno looked over at her.

"What?" He yelled. He had the window open and the air was rushing through very fast and loudly. Elena clung to her seat in desperation.

"I knew it was a mistake letting you drive!" She moaned as another tree sped fast far too closely. Reno hit the breaks as the village appeared on the horizon, and the car eventually slid to a halt with lots of squealing of brakes. Elena exited the car hurriedly, practically kissing the ground.

"Stationary…" She murmured gratefully. Reno walked up to her after locking the doors with his remote locker. The car made a couple of beeping noises to show that it was locked. Elena stood up slowly. "You are not driving on the way back!" She said insistently. Reno shrugged.

"I'll probably be drunk anyway." He admitted. Elena shook her head.

"Surprising as it may seem, you do not have to get drunk every time you go out." She said despairingly. Reno smiled at her.

"I was kidding." He replied. He took hold of her hand and started walking towards town.

"I don't know what the attraction is to getting drunk anyway…" Elena continued.

"Well…" Reno considered it. "It helps you to cope with that damn building." He threw a filthy look in the direction of 'that building'. Elena laughed.

"I don't need to get drunk to cope!" She replied. Reno gave her a look.

"Have you ever been drunk?" He asked her.

"Not really, I guess." She replied, feeling a little embarrassed. Reno sighed.

"You need to learn how to really get drunk." Reno declared. Elena looked a little worried.

"What does that involve?" She asked warily. Reno stopped momentarily and considered it.

"Learn the 5 Steps to a Reno Hangover tm!" He declared eventually. Elena groaned.

"What does that involve?" She asked in despair. Reno laughed.

"Well, you need to drink the following:

15+ pints of beer

8 shots of Tequila

5 shots of Vodka

As much Gin and Tonic as possible

More beer."