I was feeling depressed about the whole Nancy Lueke thing. I didn't know what to about it. Alex told me to forget about her. I couldn't.

One night, I decided I would write her a song. I was not known to be musically talented. Justin can play guitar. And Alex can play drums. What can I do? Be funny without trying. That's what.

I bet learning an instrument would be easy. Especially because I'm a wizard.

No one was home. I decided to do it now.

I brought a music recorder with me. I cast a spell. "I want to make music, so make me a music genius."

The spell worked. I suddenly had notes in my head. I started playing the drums, then guitar, and then piano. Now that I have the music, all I need is the lyrics.

I grabbed a pencil and paper and started writing.

[Verse 1]

Dear Nancy

You stole my heart

Turned around

And tore it apart

Dear Nancy

I was embarrassed

Of my family

I kept secrets

[Chorus]

You took away

The most important thing

That mattered

The world to me

I really miss

My dead pet lizard

You're such a bitch

You heart killer

[Verse 2]

Dear Nancy

That's my lizard

He is for

My salads

Dear Nancy

He is mine

Give him back

Or I'll charge a fine

{{Chorus}}

[Bridge]

Dear Nancy

You are ugly

Dear slutty whore

Don't fuck with me

{{Chorus x2}}

Done! I was really pleased with my work. I bet Nancy will hate it! Of course, that is the plan. That bitch deserves it. Oh. I think I'm offending female dogs… Poor dogs… I compared them to Nancy Lueke. She is more like a whore or a slut. No, both.

I recorded it all, including me singing. Of course I had to use a spell for that, "I sing like a cat getting abused, so make me a singing muse."

Perfect. I had it all recorded. It sounded perfect.

I burned it on a CD, and on the cover I wrote "Dear Nancy, please listen to this."

The next day, I went to school and magically put it in her locker.

"Oh shit! She's coming!" I whispered to myself as I hid behind a trashcan near her locker.

Nancy Lueke opened her locker. "Hmm… I wonder what this could be." She said. She put it into her CD player in her locker.

Stupid rich kid.

And the music started playing. She got wide eyed, every part of the song.

I feel accomplished. Yet, I still do not have my lizard.

The song ended.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" She yelled at the top of her lungs. She was so mad she threw the CD. Fortunately, it landed on Mr. Laritite, the principle.

"Miss Lueke, you are suspended." He said.

"WHAT?" she yelled in astonishment.

Mission accomplished!

Except I never got back my lizard…


A/N: Who else hates the character Nancy Lueke? She scares me! And she's mean!

Please review, then I will love you forever! (Like in the way Max loves his dead pet lizard!)