After reading the papers for the past few weeks, it comes as no surprise to me that England decided to declare war on Germany. The tensions building up in Europe are off the chart! So I'm gonna fight with him. Why not? I mean, from all the war stories he told me; fighting against France, Spain; it sounds like a great adventure! I wanna get out there, see the world and show off how useful I really am! Maybe, once I prove myself on the battlefield, the other countries will start respecting me more. Besides, I wanna help! England may be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he's me brother, and brothers gotta stick together, right? Plus, I reckon that England needs all the help he can get. He's too proud to ask for it, of course, but I can tell. I've heard of some other guys offering their services too. India and some guy called Can...Cad...Cani...Canada? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. Canada. I don't think I've met him before. Maybe we'll get a chance to work together! I wouldn't mind having a few new mates.
Me boss, Fisher, agrees that we should help England. He reckons it's a "noble cause where Australians will be able to demonstrate their loyalty" and that we need to "serve King and Empire". Yeah, right-o, boss! Time to show those Brits just how loyal and noble us Aussies really are!
Went over to England's house for a meeting today. He'd called over everyone that'd said they'd help out. Made us all sign a bunch of stuff. Boring. He could've tried to make it a bit more interesting. Let us all introduce ourselves properly and talk about why we had decided to sign up. Get to know each other better. But no, it's all business, business, business with England. He needs to loosen up.
Oh, and I met that guy Canada. Gee, he sure is quiet. I hardly noticed him at all when I walked into the room. Nearly sat on him when I was looking for a seat. I said sorry and tried to laugh it off. So did he, but I noticed something in his eyes. He looked...sad, but sort of resigned at the same time, y'know? Poor bloke. He was very nice, though. He must like animals, 'cause he was carrying this small white bear everywhere with him. I'd never seen a white bear before! I wanted to talk to him about it, but England started telling me off: "Australia, find a bloody seat already. I'm trying to talk and you're being very rude. Honestly, I'll never understand why you always have to be so loud."
I almost said, "Yeah, and I'll never understand why you always act like you have a giant pole shoved up your arse" but I didn't, 'cause I was trying give everyone else a good impression. Funny, England's always rude to everyone but they all seem to think really highly of him. I guess it's 'cause he's so strong and powerful. Someday I'm gonna be as strong as England. Then he'll start treating me with some respect. I'll show him how great I can be!
Geez, it's been months since I wrote in this thing. England's been training us so we can be good soldiers. It's real hard work! Sometimes, he even wakes us up in the middle of the night for drills. He says we've gotta be ready to go at any time of the day or night 'cause there's no telling what'll happen out there in the field. I wouldn't mind, 'cept I don't think I've gotten a decent night's sleep since we started.
Canada and me are getting along great. England often puts us together when we have to do exercises in a group. The other day, we were practicing hand-to-hand combat and I got paired up with him. It was kinda funny though, 'cause he didn't really want to attack me at first. Canada's like that. Doesn't want to hurt anyone if he can help it. But I told him it was fine, I could take whatever he threw at me. Besides, he's so gentle, I didn't think he'd put up much of a fight anyway. Boy, was I wrong! He's gotta be one of the fiercest fighters I've ever met! He beat me every single time. (That didn't really help my "other people respecting me more" plan.) Seriously, I never would've guessed he had it in him. No offense or anything. He just doesn't seem the type of fella that'd be good at that kind of thing, you know? Then again, he does come from a place with wild bears and stuff like that. I guess you'd have to be prepared if you ran into one of those.
Although, that bear that's always with him isn't very fierce. All it does is eat maple syrup and sleep. I think it has short-term memory loss or something, 'cause I was talking to it the other day and it kept...well, I'll try and write down some of the conversation for ya.
ME: Oi, sleepy. Wake up.
BEAR: Who are you?
ME: I'm Australia, remember?
BEAR: No. Do you have any food?
ME: Well, no, but-
BEAR: Boring. I'm going back to sleep.
ME: Oi! Don't go to sleep in the middle of a conversation, that's rude! Talk to me!
BEAR: About what?
ME: Well...what's it like living with Canada?
BEAR: Who?
ME: You know...Canada.
BEAR: Nope.
ME: Your owner. You know, the guy with the glasses, that one curl, quiet and stuff?
BEAR: Nope. Who are you?
ME: I keep tellin' you, I'm-
CANADA: Hey, guys, what's going on?
BEAR: Who are YOU?
CANADA: *sighs* I'm Canada.
BEAR: I'm sleepy. Goodnight.
CANADA: Sorry about that.
ME: Oh, don't worry about it. What's his name, anyway?
CANADA: Oh, um...it's Kumakichi...no, Kumasaburo...um, Kumakura...I'm sorry, I can never remember his name.
ME: Seems he can't remember yours either!
CANADA: Well, yeah. He's not the only one.
ME: What d'ya mean by that?
CANADA: Huh? Oh, no, it's nothing. Not important. Um, I'd better get going now. It was nice talking to you.
ME: Uh, okay. See ya then.
Why do I get the feeling that Canada's not telling me something?
