Deadly.

Teddy had been hoping that Harry let them go early tonight. He knew his chances were good as Ginny had sent a Howler demanding that he come home immediately and deal with James's shitty behavior. Though Harry wasn't at all intimidating as a father figure, the fact that James had pissed Ginny off enough meant James was in serious shit.

The summer heat was unbearable in the Auror's office because maintenance had yet to come fix their weather charm. He, personally, thought maintenance would have been, as they always had been, nearly tripping over themselves to help the Boy Who Lived.

Maybe Harry's hero-worshipping-era was finally coming to an end.

But one thing that wasn't coming to an end anytime soon was Ginny's control over her husband, and, as predicted, Harry poked his head out of his office at half-past four, screaming for all department members to have a nice weekend, and not to tell Kingsley about the Howler, as he was sure to never live it down.

Teddy's cubicle was shortly thereafter surrounded by the three Frenchmen who were training under Harry for the summer. The three banded together like a pack of Thestrals and had recently had come to some sort of mutual decision that Teddy—who they met at a dinner party at Harry's—was one of their own.

"Uh, hey gents. How are yeh?" He grimaced in a reserved manner, hoping he didn't sound friendly or inviting.

"Ah, Ted. Eet ees so wonderful zat we 'ave caught you!" The oldest, Laurent, informed him. The other two nodded earnestly in agreement. "We 'ave been wanting you to come with us to ze Leaky Cauldron, yes?"

The other men once again nodded. Teddy sighed, gathering the last of his paperwork.

Teddy opened his mouth to begin begging off, but the hopeful look in Laurent's eyes made him change his mind. "Well, the Leaky Cauldron is probably already packed, but I was supposed to meet some mates at the new Muggle pub in downtown. We could have a quick drink there."

"Ah, c'est parfait!" Laurent exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the excited way that Frenchmen do when they are trying to act as though they blend in properly.

They stood awkwardly for a moment, and Teddy wasn't sure if the Aurors had understood his statement. "Okay, well. I'll meet you at five then, outside the Trampled Theatre?"

"Yes!" Laurent exclaimed, tripping over the other two as they rushed out of the ward. "See you zen!"

Teddy nodded gruffly at them, catching Harry's twinkling eye as he and Ron passed. It was obvious his godfather had a part in all of this, and he'd be sure to teach James or Albus a wholly unpleasant jinx in retaliation.

He snapped his briefcase shut, following Harry out of the office and onto the elevator. He said goodbye to Ron, but "Say hi to Ginny and Lily for me" was his only form of salutation to his godfather who only tried, but failed, to suppress his chortle.

Once back in his flat, he showered quickly, soaping off the remains of soot from an attack which set fire to a Muggle family's campsite in Dorset that morning. A quarter of the wood had been destroyed, along with Teddy's left eyebrow, but the family and all those around them had easily avoided the flames, leaving Teddy with a mountain of paperwork and an embarrassing burn on his forehead. He was able to morph his eyebrow back on, but it hurt too much to bother with the burn. Besides, he thought maybe the women at the pub would think it's manly and want to rip his clothes off.

He brushed his teeth, though he knew the beer he'd be gulping down shortly would leave the practice futile, and quickly flipped through the mail that his owl, Tinchy, left on his desk. There was a letter from his old flat mate, Jordan, who, after completing his Healer training last year, began working in a South African Center for Magical Maladies.

The tosser sent him a letter once a month about how many of his female coworkers he had fucked and wondering how many coworkers Teddy had been able to "bang in his cubicle," knowing full well that the only girl coworker Teddy had was fifty-six, married, and about as attractive as a flobberworm.

There was also a letter from his landlord with the invoice for next month's rent. Teddy glanced at it before discarding it next to Jordan's letter and a pile of other opened ones and, with a pop, Apparated into an alleyway near the pub. Not surprisingly, Laurent, Joel, and Vincent were waiting outside, looking awkward in their fancy French-looking attire. Teddy groaned, wishing these blokes understood a button front shirt and a pair of trousers.

A small jerk of his head was his greeting to them as he led them into the noisy pub. He wasn't sure if any of them had been to a Muggle pub before, but it wasn't uncommon for people his age to venture out into Muggle London, since most of the Wizarding Pubs were overcrowded with the aging set, like anyone wanted to be smashed and find oneself in the face of their boss or girlfriend's parent, which happened to Teddy more times than was acceptable.

In fact, he saw a few witches near the windows who were in his year but in Ravenclaw. They giggled to each other for a second before waving to him. He winked at them, noticing that Selena Westenbrook had finally grown out of her pudge. He tucked this information in the back of his head for future reference.

He stopped at the bar, ordering four pints before pushing them back into the corner, keeping his back to the door. It wasn't that he felt embarrassed to be chaperoning the other men, but it wasn't something he wanted spread around.

After a pint (and a shot of scotch) he found himself enjoying his company, though still remembering his friends would be here shortly and relieve him of his babysitting duty. The three were actually kind of funny, in their own French way, joking with Teddy about his singed eyebrow and forehead, just as his mates would. And whereas their accents irked him at work, here they reminded him of Fleur which in turn reminded him of some of the best crepes imaginable.

Then, the air of the pub seemed to be sucked through the door as the attention and conversation turned towards the woman standing there, as if taking cue from his thoughts about her mother. She let an easy smile glide over her face, equally aware and oblivious to the attentions of the male bodies that occupied the room.

He thought it was only fair to issue a warning to the unsuspecting Frenchmen. "Heads down, mates. Heads down."

That, unfortunately, didn't deter her. Nothing ever deterred Victoire. She came behind Teddy, sliding her arms around his middle and resting her chin on his shoulder, leaving an open mouthed kiss on his earlobe. Despite himself, his stomach flopped in that familiar lustful way.

"Theodore. You've been dodging my letters." She arched an accusing eyebrow at him and then winked at his companions as a greeting. He thought he saw Joel stop breathing for a moment. It made him both jealous and amused at the same time.

"Have not." He lied. Today had, in fact, been the only day he hadn't received a letter from Victoire since he had taken her to a dinner in Paris two Saturdays previous. He hadn't responded to a single one because they all left him as confused as he was probably destined to be for the rest of his life when it came to Victoire.

She laughed, carefree, letting her hands drag up and down his chest, her blonde hair falling down around her shoulder. It wafted the sweet lilac scent to him that he knew came from the tree outside her bedroom window. She picked up his beer, taking a long pull of it before settling on his lap.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" She leaned over the table, and though her chest was blocked from his view, he was sure from the way their stares immediately aimed downward that she was giving them an entertaining view. He possessively pulled her hips back towards him, nestling her in a spot he knew she could no longer tempt them, but in a spot that was certainly becoming uncomfortable for him. Especially when she not-so-innocently wiggled her bottom against it.

He wasn't going to respond to her question at all, but Laurent quickly spoke for him. "Allo, my name ees Laurent, and zat is Joel and zat is Vincent. And 'oo may I ask, are you?"

She gasped, as Teddy knew she would, and positively beamed. "Je m'appel Victoire. Je n'ai pas su que vous êtes français!"

Teddy groaned as they took their conversation far-past the limits of his French. Years of listening to Victoire, her sister, and their mother scream at each other in French lessened his liking for the language—as it had for Victoire's little brother, Louis, who refused to communicate in French despite spending a month every summer in France.

When Victoire gasped, saying "Oo, la la," he snapped, shifting her harshly on his lap, causing her little tête-à-tête with Laurent to end. It was a little more attention towards a man who was practically a stranger than he was comfortable with. She leveled him with a cruel glare, but, after taking another pull from his beer, regarded him with interest again.

It had been like this with Victoire for years. The off and on, hot and cold nature of their relationship which, he was certain, stemmed from the years where he'd pull her hair to show his affection and then dry her tears so Fleur wouldn't tell his Grandmum what he'd done. But Victoire was hardly an innocent party. She toyed with him, enjoying pushing him until he burst, just as he knew she was doing with her flirting with Laurent.

And though Victoire had decided and informed him years ago that they would be getting married, he sometimes wondered if they would ever be able to turn their mostly-off relationship fully-on.

Then she smiled. And his stomach flopped, and he remembered what changed his mind every time that he thought about it.

"Uncle Harry seemed to have thought you would be here with Neal and Colin tonight." She batted her eyes, stroking her manicured nail down his jaw line.

He reclaimed his beer from her hand, regarding her over the glass as he took a drink. "And he seemed to think you, Rose and Molly would be at the theatre."

Her smiled fell crooked, and she leaned so close to him that he needn't move much if he wanted to kiss her, intentional, he knew. "And I am. This place is called The Trampled Theatre, is it not? And Rose and Molly are in the theatre as we speak, though accompanied by their petit amis, not me."

Sweet Merlin, he swore. The woman was both brilliant and conniving.

He knowingly took the bait, transferring the conversation from her wrongdoings to more gossipy ones. She was tricky like that, making him simultaneously know what she was doing and, yet, be unable to resist. "Neither Rose nor Molly has a boyfriend, Vee. Don't be ridiculous."

"No?" She blinked innocently and shrugged. "I guess Scorpius Malfoy and Evert Redding were just there by coincidence then."

He choked, as she knew he would. She patted his shoulder and blinked infuriatingly again. "Oh, Theodore. Are you alright?"

Teddy glared at her under hooded eyes. She had probably been holding onto the information, he mused, that a Malfoy was dating her cousin, waiting to release it on an unsuspecting victim at the most opportune moment.

She was certifiably insane, and he was completely in love with her.

She ran her hand down his throat, down his abs, and down.. farther. He swallowed, running his hands through her hair. He could smell the beer on her breath, but there was something else there, too, like the beer covered up something stronger. It made him want to probe her mouth and find out for himself.

"Vee?" He whispered in a low, husky voice. Then, to his great relief and frustration, the door of the pub opened and three girls in dresses as short and low cut as Victoire's called to her. She left him a hard kiss on the temple, right over his burn mark, as if knowing the ache would last just long enough for him have a constant reminder of her for the remainder of the night.

Looking up, he saw that Laurent had taken conversation up awkwardly with Joel and Vincent, realizing he had overstepped when he flirted with Victoire. Teddy waved the bartender over for a refill.

When he had quenched the dryness in his throat, he pointed his glass to the door. "That," he loudly declared. "Gentlemen, is a force to be reckoned with. One look from that woman and your entire life can flash before your eyes. She might be gorgeous, and she might be smart. But she might be deadly, too." He paused for a moment before throwing some notes on the bar and standing with a sigh. "Yeah, she doesn't make it easy to love her."