Pain of the Strong

By: Liv-Case-Benson

Chapter 1: Numb

Olivia Benson was home late one night. She sighed. Elliot had been gone a month now, but it still felt raw, like it had happened that day. She understood why he'd put his papers in, how demanding this job, undoubtedly, was but that didn't make things any easier.

She hadn't seen Casey in longer than that and it hurt. Like her heart tore a little every time she thought of her. Biting her lip, the detective dialed her number.

It rang five times before she picked up. "Novak," Casey said through a yawn.

Olivia sighed again. "I know it's late, but I can't sleep."

Casey sat up. "No, don't worry about it. What's going on?"

Olivia pulled her legs up under her on the couch. "I miss you."

Casey sighed. "Liv, it's three am. Couldn't you have waited until later?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"What's really going on?" Casey asked.

Olivia shook her head, hanging up the phone and leaving Casey wondering what was going on.

Casey tried calling her back, but every time it went to voice mail. Ignoring the call of her bed to her aching body, the ADA dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, going to see her. She tried to focus on how Liv had sounded. She hadn't sounded drunk, just sad and lonely, but, Casey supposed, that was to be expected with Elliot retiring a month ago. Olivia had refused to talk to anyone about it. She'd done her job like always, but something was missing, something vital. Like she'd lost her will or something.

Fifteen minutes later, Casey knocked on her door, but when Olivia wouldn't answer, she got worried so she used the key Olivia had given her a month before her suspension. Finding her girlfriend unconscious on the floor, Casey immediately checked her vitals and signs of self harm, but there were no signs of harm and she appeared to be fine. It was like she'd simply fallen asleep and rolled off of the couch.

"Liv?" Casey asked, sitting on the floor beside her and pulling her into her arms. "Liv, come on! Please wake up."

Olivia's head was swimming, not in alcohol or any kind of medication, but guilt. If she had done something differently, would he have stayed? Sure, she'd understood in the long run of things, but it was still like a shot through the heart. She'd tried, again and again, to talk to him, but he never picked up. It was as if she didn't even matter anymore.

The detective was asleep so heavily, she didn't even realize when the paramedics loaded her into the ambulance and took her to Mercy from Casey's call.


Author's Note: Okay, I really have no idea where this story is going and I know it's short, but I used to be really good at writing depressing/angsty/tragedy stuff, so when this little thing popped into my head I figured why not give it a shot?

What do you guys think? Is it worth continuing?

Liv-Case-Benson