Never Enough

Harry Potter is J.K Rowling's and J.K Rowling's alone. Any publicly recognisable situations, characters etc. belong to her. No profit is being made of this story.

"You know, I really thought you'd changed." "I guess you thought wrong then" he said with a shrug and a nonchalant glance her way. "I guess" she said looking away and at the sea. He had expected more passion out of her. What happened to that famed Gryffindor spirit? He'd just told her he only dated her for a bet and to embarrass her, and her response was to calmly look at him and say she thought he'd changed!? Perhaps she was in shock Draco decided. Yes, she was far too shocked about this fact to actually react, it was better for him this way anyway, at least now he wouldn't be hexed into oblivion.

Looking back at her, Draco saw how calm and at peace she seemed. Gazing out the window at the sea, she finally tore her glance away to look back at him. "I suppose you must be wondering why I'm so collected." Draco grunted and stared at her. "The truth is, I'm not surprised. Oh Draco dearest, you really couldn't have thought I'd be that dumb did you?" she said smirking sardonically at him, looking eerily like the old him.

"You couldn't have really thought that I didn't know? That I was completely unaware of your true reasons for dating me? God Draco, don't be so ignorant. I knew Malfoy. I've known since day one. You weren't the only one playing a game, after all I can't have you getting such an unfair advantage."

Shocked, Draco stared at Hermione as she described in detail exactly how she knew, and how, it was he who had been played after all.

"You thought I actually fell for you? That I could actually love someone like you? That I could actually love a monster?" smirking again she continued, "Sweetheart, I would like to think I'm far too smart for that. Yes Draco, that's right, you're getting it now aren't you? God, I was using you Malfoy. I was using you for information, hoping that you'd slip up and tell me something useful. You never did of course. Far too calculating to make such a stupid mistake. But I suppose...you didn't realize this mistake did you? You didn't realize that there was no way anyone could ever love you." She cruelly smiled at him as she mimicked moments they'd previously had. "Oh Dracoooo, I love you sooo much! Oh Dracoo baby I'll never let you go! Bloody hell Malfoy you couldn't have really thought I was telling the truth could you?"

"Then what the hell was all that I thought you'd changed, huh!?" Draco shouted.

"Oh that," Hermione flippantly waved her hand, "That was one small truth in a midst of lies, I really had thought you'd changed Malfoy, of course that doesn't mean I would ever actually, consider being with you. I mean, seriously?" she laughed derisively, "The Gryffindor princess and the Slytherin Prince? That's a little too Romeo and Juliet for me, and I'm not a big fan of how that story ends."

"I hope you rot in hell, you call me a monster, but I see no monster here other than you." Draco screamed at her.

She laughed, a fake laugh, sugary sweet, "Oh yes Draco, blame it all on me! That's what you do every time isn't it! Oh its all the big bad Granger's fault! I don't really know why you care so much anyway," she said slowly running her hands across the back of the couch, "After all, was it not you who just told me, you never loved me, not even a little bit?"

"You're right, I could never love someone like you."

She laughed again, this time as if she really found this funny. Suddenly her face transformed to fury and she stalked right up to him, forcing him back bit by bit until he was backed against a wall. "Someone like me, Draco Malfoy? Someone like me!? I'm too good for you Malfoy, don't you dare ever think otherwise. Its you who isn't enough. You were never enough. And you never will be." with that and a flourish of her robes she disapparated, leaving Draco with the sinking feeling she wouldn't be back soon, probably not ever.

That night, he didn't get a single wink of sleep. All he could remember were her last words, you'll never be enough, and he thought, it was true, he never was enough, not for her anyway. She'd always been too good for him, during all those times he now knew to be a lie, she always seemed to have this warmth about her.

Now that he'd thought about it, he hadn't really wanted to hurt her. But he'd began to feel trapped, not that she ever did anything to make him feel this way, but he was scared of the commitment that was obviously going to come with this relationship they had. He never really had the chance to love anyone and in all truth he was scared he was going to do something wrong. That he would mess up and ruin it all for the both of them.

It was a rash decision on his part, but he ultimately thought it was a good one, to let Hermiome Granger go. Granted he could've done it in a nicer way but it was too late for that now. He supposed it was because of all his constant thoughts about what she was doing wrong, this and that, never anything big, but still enough for him to become annoyed. Like her constant need to read, why couldn't she do something with him instead? Bloody hell he was willing to talk over just watching her read! And that cat of hers! She payed more attention to the mangy hair all that she did to him! It was thoughts like this, going over and over in his brain for a month or so, that had caused him to lash out and decide that striking Granger down might bring him some semblance of pleasure. Obviously that didn't work as all it lead to was the truth, the gruesome truth, that was hurting him more than he cared to admit.

It seemed, he thought, that his own assumption about Hermione's distant response, may not have applied to her, but apparently did to him. Shock was a funny thing he thought. It was quite nice actually, it let you be oblivious to everything, like the tears he didn't remember crying rolling down his cheeks, and the sharp shards cutting his hand from where he had punched a mirror, and of course, the pain in his miserable, cold heart. He knew he would feel all of this in the morning, like a hangover, but he was willing to enjoy the bliss for now, forget his troubles, and hopefully lose them too.

Tired and sluggish, Draco made his way out of his bed and into his bathroom. Staring blearily at the mirror, he saw the bags under his eyes and the misery that seemed to be etched into his face. Rough night, he distantly thought.

Shuffling, he made his way into the kitchen, stretching and yawning, the moment he got in he immediately stiffened. Something was wrong, although he couldn't place what. Then it clicked. It all clicked and it all came flooding back to him. Yesterday, the way he treated her, the lies he fed her, and truths she fed him. Collapsing into the ground, he curled up, as the pain came back too. All the pain in his heart as she told him everything, meaning every word, although he didn't.

"I didn't want to hurt you" he rasped, sobbing, tears streaming, as he curled into a tighter ball, feeling his heart squeezing in pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated over and over, a mantra, the only way he could stay sane at the moment.

"Oh my god Hermione, I'm sorry, come back please! I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry!" he screamed and yelled, pounding his fists on the floor as he relieved his memories.

"I never meant any of it! Please Hermione, you were the only good thing I had left! I need a light Hermione, god I need something to guide me. Please, you were the only way I was staying out of the hole that is insanity. You tossed me a rope and I foolishly let go thinking I could be OK. But I'm not Hermione, I need you, I need you, you are my air, my everything. Come back please!" By now Draco had completely curled into a ball, his top soaked with hot tears, and he was struggling to form basic thoughts. All he could focus on was the intense pain in his heart and the panic and fear that came along with it. He was slowly slipping and he needed someone to bring him back before he fell.

The angles seemed to have heard his call, as at that moment Blaise Zabini walked in and shouted when he saw his best friend lying on the floor, sobbing for all he was worth.

"Oh my god Draco! Are you ok? Do I need to take you to a healer? Talk to me Draco, tell me what's wrong."

"She left Zabini," almost incomprehensible words coming out of his mouth between sobs, "She left, just like I said. I ruined everything just because I couldn't be damn selfless and patient and more loving for once."

"Draco calm down, you're going to have a panic attack. Look I'm sure she'll come back ok? Stop worrying."

"Oh my god," Draco cried, " No, Zabini, no, she isn't coming back, she never will come back."

Blaise could do nothing as he watched his best friend cry himself into a stupor. It hurt to see him like this, the once strong man, torn and ripped apart into all was left was shreds of his once whole heart. He wondered what could've happened to cause something like this. Draco wasn't exactly known for his tears, so this was a very uncommon sight.

"Come on Draco, let's go get you a healer to treat your hand, and we can get you some food. Everything will be just fine ok?"

"I don't want food! I don't want to get my bloody hand healed!" Draco roared as he tore himself away from Blaise's grasp, "All I want is her! Give her back! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was wrong! Just give her back!" Draco cried as he looked up at the heavens.

Grabbing his friend again, Blaise made way for the door, but paused as he heard his friend's next words, " Don't you get it Blaise?" he whispered tiredly, "You can't do anything, because I am the only one at fault here. Because it was me who was not enough, who was never enough, who will never be enough. And nothing will ever change that."

Phew ok first one shot yay! If you guys really want a happy ending I suppose I could write one, just let me know (:

Tell me what you think, review if you feel like it!

Also I'll just explain that this story is set not long after the war, Hermione claimed she was using Draco for information from the deatheaters, and now that she doesn't need him anymore it's ok for her to tell Draco the truth.

Also the reason it 'clicked' with Draco and his memories was because he couldn't smell Hermione's cooking.

I know the plot isn't very well written but I might write the event in Hermione's P.O.V so I can clear it up later. Thanks for reading everyone!