A Bloodred Sky

Chapter 1:

James Potter just couldn't wrap his mind around one fact.

He was dead.

Dead. Not alive. Dead as a doornail. Gone. Passed away. Had moved on. Became an angel- well, a mischievous angel. A bit devious, really. But that was besides the point. His friends... they'd be living without him. It wasn't fair.

And Harry.

His poor, brave boy. His son. Alone.

James hated it.

He was standing (or was it floating?) next to his grave. He had watched the funeral. Peter had betrayed them. It stung. Sirius, he had heard some people whisper at the funeral, was now in Azkaban. James' horror at that news went deep. Remus hadn't even showed up.

He didn't know which of those three things hurt the worst.

James was staring numbly at his headstone, wishing that he could go back in time and force Sirius to become Secret Keeper.

"Hullo, Prongs."

The voice that had spoken was soft, barely audible, and raspy with emotion. James would know that voice anywhere.

Remus.

At first, James was ecstatic- Remus could see him!- but then he realized that Remus had been talking to his grave.

He felt bitterly disappointed.

He watched his friend closely. It had been months since he'd last seen Remus, since they had thought he was the spy- which, James now felt horrible about. It had never been a pleasant thought, believing Remus to be the spy, but the fact that they'd so cruelly suspected Remus when Remus hadn't done anything to encourage their suspicions- James knew he'd made a grave mistake.

Remus didn't look good. He was peaky (the full moon was approaching), and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was horribly thin, and he looked as though the smallest breeze would knock him over. His hair hung limply around his face, which was unusual for Remus, who always attempted to look as nice as possible, since he couldn't afford fancy clothing. His amber eyes, usually so bright with laughter and hope, now looked dull and lifeless. Remus looked like a corpse, and James wanted to weep, knowing that it was partly his fault that his friend had succumbed to this half-alive man.

"I'm sorry I wasn't at the funeral," Remus began. "I tried to come. But the Ministry officials wouldn't let me in. I stood as close as they'd let me. I listened. Probably better that I didn't speak about you- i wouldn't have known what to say. Except that you were both amazing people. And my family. And that I loved you. And that- that it isn't bloody fair that you're gone." Remus was crying by now. He was shivering against the cold November wind, his ragged clothes doing nothing against the chill. "I- I- I don't know what to say," Remus told James miserably. "I don't feel as though I'll ever be happy again."

Guilt shot through James like fire. "Remus," he whispered. "Remus, I know you can't hear me, but please... I'm so sorry…" James suddenly frowned. "But why didn't they let you in?"

Remus was kneeling in the snow, tracing James' name with his fingers. "You might be wondering why I wasn't allowed in the funeral." Remus shivered. "You see, before you... died, before you and Lily went into hiding, I got a letter from the Ministry. The letter basically said that someone had brought to their attention the fact that I was an unregistered werewolf. It didn't say who, but I'm pretty sure we both know it was Snape. Or maybe even- maybe even Sirius. He told someone once; why not again? Especially since he's a traitor." Remus' voice was bitter.

It was Peter, James realized. Peter had told the Ministry that Remus was a werewolf.

Remus continued. "The letter told me that if I failed to show up for registration within the next 24 hours, I'd be subject to a life sentence in Azkaban. So I went. I would have told you or Lily or Peter- even Sirius, since I thought he was innocent- but I was scared. It seemed unreal, like if I said it outloud it's come true. Well, I went. Alone. They- they were so cruel, James. They took my wand. Called me an 'it'. Apparently, 'registering' means getting a number branded into your skin. 104768. That's me. 104768." He pulled up his sleeve, and James, had he been alive, would have thrown up in disgust at what he saw. That terrible, ugly number burned into his friend's flesh. Like he was cattle. Like he wasn't human. James' vision went red.

Remus stared at his arm. "I didn't tell you guys afterward. I feel so disgusted with myself. Like I'm an animal. I was embarrassed, and worried that if I showed you, you'd all be disgusted too. That's when you all began to suspect me. I'm not going to lie. By doing that, you all made me feel more like a monster than the Ministry did. Because you always said that it didn't matter. That I was exactly the same. But once you all knew there was a spy, you all assumed it was the werewolf. Just like that."

James wanted to scream. "No!" he gasped. "Moony, no! That's not why- we thought it was you because well- because you're so smart! And such a great dueller! We thought they were just using your lycanthropy as a way to get you on their side- you, know, promises of a cure, or something. We didn't think you were evil just because you were a werewolf! Never because of that." But he knew that Remus couldn't hear him.

This definitely made James feel the worst. Of course, he was terrified for Sirius, and furious with Peter, but Remus... they'd abandoned him months ago.

How different things could have been if he'd only trusted him.

"I just want you back," Remus sobbed. "I miss you so much! If you don't hate me, I'll forgive you. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want you back!"

James put a ghostly hand on Remus' shoulder. "I miss you too, Moony. But, as much as I want to, I can't come back."

"I tried to get Harry." Remus sniffed miserably. James tensed. "But Dumbledore told me that he'd sent Harry to live with Petunia, of all people! She hates him! I told Dumbledore as much, but he told me I couldn't raise Harry. He said-" Remus' voice broke. "He said I was too dangerous for Harry." Remus broke into fresh sobs, and it tore at James' heart to know that he could do nothing to ease his friend's pain. Yes, he was horrified that Harry would be left in Vernon and Petunia's care. However, he was furious with Dumbledore for telling Remus that he was too dangerous for Harry. Because Remus would have made a fantastic guardian.

Harry's first word had been Moony, after all.

James looked up at the sky. Dawn was breaking, the silence of the morning broken only by Remus' heartfelt sobbing. It was a bloodred sky, symbolizing all that the Marauders had lost, and how much they'd yet to lose.

TBC