Hi everyone. Well, in a sense, I'm back, but I'm not. I was here around this time last year under a different name.then I left cuz I got fucked up in the head. Now I'm back and better, only to discover that my favorite section, music, has left the site due to the whole real people thing. But I love the X Files and I'll shut up now and I hope you enjoy my story.
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CHAPTER 1: Anna

I remember the time he told me about his first love, his first girlfriend, his first kiss, his first 'time' (if you know what I mean) - it was all one girl. Her name was Anna. From what he said she was the most beautiful woman in the world.well, to him anyway. "It was high school", he told me. "High school can either make you or brake you. It broke her and made me."

I remember looking up into Fox's eyes. I didn't want to hear about the people he loved. It only made me jealous. But there was something about this Anna character that drew me in. I couldn't help but ask about her.

"So, you want to know the full story an Anna, do you Alex? The story all want to know, but never get to hear?" He said, semi-jokingly. I nodded, unsure of what to expect from this story he was making out to be so grand. "I'll tell you.but only because I can trust you with it."

Fox took a deep breath and slowly began to tell the story.

"When I was 12, a new girl moved in several houses down. Her name was Anna and she was several months younger than me. She had a sister, but I took no interest in her. This was only shortly after my sister had been abducted so I felt vulnerable and quite pathetic atcually. I needed something, someone, to fill in the space that was left emptied by the absence of my sister.

"Sure, my best friend of the time, Jake, was great to me. We'd been best friends since pretty much the beginning of time. But I was at an age where I needed more than one friend. And to me, that was Anna."

I looked up at Fox from where I was lying on his bed. He was leaning up against the wall, but I could still see the pain in his eyes. Something inside of me begged him to continue.

"We basically hit it off from the moment we met. We spent every waking moment together and loved it. And, no, I didn't abandon Jake for her. He had Anna's best friend, Sara. There was just the four of us. At school, though, it was just me, Anna and Jake. Sara went to some private school.but she skipped most of her classes to spend time with Jake.

"Anna and I went through life together. We were pretty much excluded from everything in high school. So the three of us did everything together, even if we were in different classes! But me and Anna had it going. We had been going out since we were 12.so nearly 3 years. At 15 was the first time we had sex. Our first time together, our first time all up.

"It was late at night and I remember she came to my window and I let her in. It was nothing corny like in a car or at the movies. I'm really glad my first time was in an actual bed. I'm sure it made the experience so much better. No, it was the best sex ever in the satisfaction sense, but we truly did love each other, so that mattered a lot.

"Nobody pressured us into doing it, it just happened. We hadn't discussed it or anything, it just happened. I think that's how a first time should happen. It should be in the moment. Anna hadn't come over for sex. She was just sad and needed to be with someone. We were a very sad group of friends. A bunch of depressed teenagers, if you like. But Anna was especially sad. She cut her arms up and had been on and off anti- depressants for years.basically she was the female version of me at the time. We were a good couple because mentally we could heal each other, but it was just physically that we couldn't. That didn't really matter, though.

"It was the second time we had sex that stuck in my mind as well, for obvious reasons, you will see. Again, it started off the same as the first time. She came into my room and it happened. Afterwards, we went up on my roof to watch the stars. It got cold, so I went inside to get a blanket. When I came back she was gone. It wasn't as if I was gone long or anything, but it was all just too much for her. She had jumped off the roof while I was in getting the blanket. She had killed herself within minutes of me letting her out of my sight."

Mulder sighed and paused for several seconds.

"I still remember looking over the edge of the roof and seeing her body lying on the ground - all motionless with blood seeping from her head. It took a long time to sink in. I think it was nearly an hour before I woke my parents and told them to call an ambulance. Getting to her any sooner wouldn't have helped. I knew this, and people weren't game to tell me that I should've gotten there sooner. Stupidly, I went to school the next day, cuz I just couldn't face reality."

"I'm sorry, Mulder." I remember whispering in his ear and then gently kissing lips. He didn't say anything for a long time after that. I knew right then and there that he had kept this a secret for so long.I knew his life had been horrible, but I didn't think it was all that horrible. But, at the time, I was wondering how much worse it could get. It seemed his story just wasn't done.

He slowly sunk so he was lying on the bed next to me. I put my head on his chest to try and get closer to him.

"Why are you so good to me after everything we've been through, Alex?" He asked. I shrugged, because I honestly didn't know. To this day, I still don't know the answer to his question. I probably never will.

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A.N.// So how do you like it so far? Questions? Comments? R & R please. I'll still keep this story going even if you don't like it. It's all up here *points to head* The WHOLE story, every single little bit of it. I know how I want to end it and everything.but *you* will just have to wait.