I own nothing.

A/N: This is written for snogsofachilles as a Christmas present, because I don't support capitalism (I HAZ NO MONEYS). I also love giving her painful feels.

Also hello, for those who are familiar with my works (and my profile), you know that I'm Tokyo Ghoul/Kaneki trash (profile). You'll also know that I write Naruto fanfiction with my two middle fingers. It's also a character study, a crossover, canon-divergence and a one-shot.

Its haphazard, but reasonably so – because it's covering a lot. Don't go forward if you can't stand fangirl!Sakura, negligent!kakashi and dark!canon. Some blood-gore, butchering of canon, and some psychological stuff between (but hey – did you expect anything else from pyro?).

From snogsofachilles : "I WAS A PUDDLE ROLLING AROUND IN THE TURBULENCE" (she was on an airplane).

Thank you for reading. Thank you for having low standards.

I love you all (even the flamers).


In one world, Sakura Haruno was destined to be a kunoichi, a future student of the Godaime Hokage and also…a pre-teen girl with an unhealthy infatuation.

In another world, Sakura Haruno was not Sakura Haruno – she was a he. He was Kaneki Ken. A full-time university student, part-time coffee-shop waiter and full-time ghoul.

What if you put these two worlds together, these two people together? What if Kaneki and Sakura shared minds… momentarily?


"There has been another attack near the street by Takada building…"

In the background, the radio buzzed on about ghouls. There was the smell of coffee and light chatter throughout the coffee shop. In that coffee-shop, there were also two boys, both seated around a table. One of them had an up-right, erect posture, pouring over a book whilst the other was slumpedon the table.

"Whoaaa," The boy with the yellow jacket, Hide Nagachika said, "Did you hear that Kaneki? You'd be eaten up in a second. A scrawny kid like you who's always reading incomprehensible books…"

The scrawny kid, Kaneki Ken, who liked reading incomprehensible books, sent his best friend a withering glance.

"What do you mean by incomprehensible? If you actually bothered picking up a book –"

"It's no use, I'd fall asleep after five seconds."

"Anyway," Kaneki rolled his eyes, he fixated them on the coffee-shop waitress, "I was just thinking, do 'ghouls' really exist? I've never once seen a 'ghoul'."

Hide was popular, he had friends of friends of friends of a friend who a probably a ghoul. Anyone could be a ghoul. It had been on all the sensational talk-shows, everyone was talking about them. Ghouls were a phenomenon.

"….Hmmm? I heard that they disguise themselves as humans and lie in wait…then suddenly they're there, things like that…"

"Disguised as humans?"

"Yeah…maybe you could be a ghoul, Ka-ne-ki."

"No way! I would have eaten you up by then if that was true."

It was the kind of response that Kaneki remembered later, much later.

Back then, days were care-free.

He had just scored a date with a beautiful girl with cherry-lips, her name was Rize Kamishiro. She was eighteen. She also found him funny. She didn't just find him funny, she got his jokes and all the references.

"Wow, we seem to have a lot in common."

She also liked the same works by Takatsuki Sen. It was like scoring the jack-pot. Kaneki felt like he was the luckiest boy alive.

She loved 'The Black Goat's Egg' too. It was about a boy who had a mass-murderer for a mother. While the son was disgusted by his mother's depravity – he starts to see the same cruel impulses budding in himself.

Rize made Takatsuki Sen references too.

"But it's mysterious. Isn't it? That's what started you and me…walking together like this was a Takatsuki Novel," she said, edging closer to him. She had a sweet voice.

And Kaneki thought it was a fine contrast. The juxtaposition of extremely brutal depictions with delicate depictions of the character's mental state. It was like the jarring street-lights contrasted with the dark of the night. They were in a secluded construction site.

Love was about to bloom.

"K-kaneki…the truth is…I noticed that you were watching me…" She had very pretty cherry lips.

Just like ghouls – depravity disguising themselves as beautiful human beings. That was probably an apt description of those creatures. That was probably an apt description of her.

"I was also watching you!"

And when Kaneki finally remembered that stupid conversation with Hide, the girl who he was supposed to be on a date with – was an inch down his shoulder.


She woke up with a jolt.

"Sakura! Wake up!"

She didn't exactly remember the dream. But Sakura Haruno kicked off her blankets excitedly as she realized the day. It was the last day of academy classes meant that she would be placed on a team. She was so excited. It also meant that there was less work and no sweaty practice with the boys.

"Sakura – how many times have I told you, no NINJA stuff in the house!"

"Sorry mum! Got to go mum!"

"Sakura – stop."

She froze in her attempts to pull open the front door and looked back at her mother. Mebuki Haruno had her hands on either end of her hips. She was leaning against the door – holding out a bento box toward her.

"Here, don't leave without this."

"Thanks mum!" Sakura waved at her, perhaps she would feed the local dogs with it. Or perhaps she would eat it.

Today, she was going to get the seat near Sasuke-kun. Not Ino. She giggled to herself as she cut past the lanes and past the vendors. People were passing by – she waved at the fruit vendor and reached the Academy entrance, breathing hard.

"Not today, forehead."

Speak of the devil.

Ino Yamanaka was her long-time rival for the affections of Sasuke-kun. The girl also had a lot of split-ends.

"What did you say, forehead?"

"Race you to the classroom, Ino-pig!"

She won the race of course, and before Ino could protest, she slid into the seat beside a certain Uchiha.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun!"

He didn't respond. He had his head propped on his fingers, facing forward at the empty black-board. He always looked too-good for anything. Sakura sighed dramatically as she took in his long lashes. They curled up just right.

She could feel Ino send her a glare worthy of committing arson.

She heard Iruka-sensei come in, with a folder underneath his arm. She couldn't help but feel like today was going to be a great day – and an even better year. Sakura was an abnormably lucky child. She also hoped that her luck would allow her be on the same team as Sasuke-kun.

That's when a certain blonde-idiot hopped into the seat beside her.

"Hiya Sakura-chan!"

Ugh. Bye. That's when Iruka-sensei started announcing the genin teams. Everyone was so excited.

"Team Seven. Naruto Uzumaki."

She shuffled in her seat. Whoever was on his team – was probably cursed for life. She wished them her condolences and well-wishes.

They probably needed it – considering the fact that dead-last was the worst at everything.

"Sakura Haruno."

She slammed her head on the desk – hard. She heard Naruto yell in delight.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

And then rose up to the heavens – heart beating wildly. Her inner self was positively ecstatic. Naruto looked absolutely down-cast.

She sent Ino a triumphant look. The latter responded with a scowl. She was stuck on the same team as Chouji and Shikamaru. Not that it mattered in the slightest to Sakura – it was great. She was always an abnormally lucky child.

That's when Iruka-sensei announced break-time.

Everyone shuffled out of their seats. She about to follow Sasuke-kun out the door.

"Sasuke-kun! I think it would be great for us to get to know each other."

He ignored her. She thought she heard several snickers behind her back.

"Sakura-chan, forget him! Maybe we can get to know each other."

Ugh. As if.

Sakura had no friends, thanks to Ino.

Ino was popular and managed to turn all the girls in the class against her. She picked up her wrapped bento and made her way out the door. She didn't catch the forlorn look on Naruto's face.

She snapped her chopsticks apart and sniffed.

Not that she really cared for Ino anyways.

Sasuke-kun would be hers in the end. And that's all that mattered. So sitting alone on a bench, in the park near the Academy, Sakura crossed her legs and looked down at her food.

After all, she did skip breakfast – she was starving.

"Itadakimasu!"

Someone was watching her. She brought the roll up to her mouth as she looked opposite her.

"S-sasuke-kun!"

He was leaning against the tree watching her with a handsome smile. She was blushing madly, suddenly feeling very awkward because he was walking over. He had a little strut in his step – a little shuffle of his feet. Inner Sakura was having a field day.

She tucked a hair behind her ear, shyly. He was looking this way.

Then she thought she tasted something weird – something weird like… like pig's intestines on the verge of spoiling.

"Hey Sakura…"

Her heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour. She needed to spit it out. She really needed to spit it out.

"You have such a cute forehead…"

She swallowed it. F u c k.

"Uhg…"

She was caught between a blush, a hard place and an egg roll that tasted like spoiled pig guts, which was now stuck in her throat.

"So tell me, what do you think about Naruto?"

"UH…"

Sakura Haruno threw up all over her beloved Sasuke-kun who was actually Naruto (not that she knew that).


He really should have died.

Because whatever this was – wasn't supposed to be him. It had begun with the hospital – when he had realized that he had just been transplanted ghoul organs. He was supposed to be thankful. It was supposed to be minor – nothing of the serious nature. The girl, Rize Kamishiro had died. He was supposed to die with her. He wasn't supposed to think like this. It was sick, it was depraved.

Everything would end if he ended himself.

"They never should have transplanted her organs…"

In the story of the Black Goat's Egg – the protagonist, the son of the female mass murderer was the Goat's 'egg'. Does that mean, he was the Ghoul's egg?

Kaneki wondered how long it would take until he was noticed himself. What happened to ghouls? How did they live? In the past few days, he'd begun to learn more and more about these species. They were of the volatile kind – and you couldn't trust any of them.

Touka also kicked the snot out of him for calling her inhuman. Then what was she? A cannibal? A human who eats other human-beings. He didn't get her.

"Kaneki?"

He looked up, startled.

"Are you eating okay?"

"Eh?" He swallowed thickly. Kaneki could still taste last-night's meat in his mouth. Human meat. She had personally fed him some – and he liked it. And then he threw up again.

"You look kind of pale." Nishio sent him a look, over his shoulder. It was calculating, pleasant.

Of course, he did.

He was in the presence of a ghoul – the one who had almost attacked him the night before. But he was here because Hide was here. And Hide needed to be safe.

Kaneki could almost feel dominance exuded from the creature. They were both holding human food, pretending to human. Nishio-senpai took out the taiyaki and ate it, bit by bit.

And Kaneki blinked.

"Delicious…!" He was chewing it, like a normal person – not like the depraved human-eating creature that he was. He licked his fingers for extra effect.

It was a nauseous scene.

As the trio continued walking, Kaneki kept close behind. There was something odd about the route he was taking. But if Kaneki had learned any lesson from his previous fatal encounter – he would have learned that he shouldn't followed ghouls into dark corners.

"A dead-end."

And the next thing Kaneki knew, Hide was flew past him.


There were a few ways to actually gain chakra. And that was to eat.

As a person with a lower chakra reserve, Sakura felt like she was placed at an immediate disadvantage in comparison to her team-mates. That's why she was dangling her feet restlessly, staring down at her dinner plate. She picked up her chopsticks and poked at it.

"Sakura is the food not to your liking?"

"No it's fine."

The throwing up and urges to vomit had stopped. Sakura had had to learn methods and ways to acquire her energy, this included learning how to fool her taste-buds.

A lot of people had written literature upon the matter, oddly enough.

The trick was to place two foods of varying degrees into her mouth, or perhaps in high temperature or low-temperature foods.

"Sakura – don't eat so fast!"

There were also certain areas of her tongue that were for a certain taste, and certain that weren't – the trick was to learn this. She had never actually thought that she would be so preoccupied with food. It was something she abhorred – but perhaps her diet had messed up her taste structure. But as far as she knew, she seemed to be digesting everything normally.

She had also begun to think her team-mates smelled delicious.

But besides her new found hatred for anything edible (she forced it down of course), Sakura had also been having a lot of terrible nightmares. There was this odd feeling of piling anxiety at night. Something like a nagging feeling in the gut of her stomach.

She had no idea why. Either ways – none of the medical cases helped her. The closest case that described her was probably insanity. She needed to go get checked at a psychiatrist.

So in the middle of the night, Sakura found herself in the middle of the training ground.

"Have you been getting some sleep lately?" Kakashi-sensei glanced over at her. She was gazing at Naruto and Sasuke, who were currently engaged in banter. They escorted an old drunk to the land of waves. It had turned into a rank B mission shortly after they were attacked.

He fell back to talk to her.

Hatake Kakashi, was sharp. And she hated it.

"What?"

"Have you been getting some sleep lately? It's not very healthy for a young genin to stay up all night, training."

He should have been more concerned about whether or not Misaki-chan (the heroine of his porn-literature) was wearing a red bra or a black lacey one.

"Just dandy, sensei," She responded waspishly, never taking her eyes off Sasuke-kun's back, "Fine and dandy."

Ever since she had thrown up on the boy – she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye.

"Hmmm? It's my duty as a sensei to look after my precious genin. Especially genin who've been using my name to get to some of the higher ranked sections."

Ugh, so he knew.

"Of course I know, Sa-ku-ra. I know everything."

She averted her eyes looking into the bushes. Naruto yelped as if he found something interesting.

"Don't you have a book to read like the irresponsible teacher you are?"

"So cold…I'm just really keen on finding out as to why –"

"Hey I found something!"

They both looked up at Naruto – who frowned.

"Oh it's just a rat."

Kakashi groaned, "Please don't use shuriken so carelessly…it's really dangerous…"

Sakura was mildly grateful to Naruto for being such an idiot. She was scratching the back of her head, watching him find another bush and another shuriken to throw.

She glanced over at Sasuke, who was looking curiously at her.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!"

By reflex, she fell to the ground, on all fours. That's when she missed a large blade by the inches. When she looked up, it lodged itself into the nearest tree. And on the sword was a rather large man with bandages around his mouth. It nearly grazed her head – oh my god.

No fighting on her first mission. That's what they said. Don't worry, Hatake Kakashi would protect her, they said.

"Surround and protect Tazuna-san." Kakashi was saying, "Do not enter the fight! That's the team-work here!"

The bandaged man flickered his eyes toward her, momentarily.

"Ninpou…Hidden Mist no Jutsu…"


"The bird fights its way out of the egg."

He didn't want to lose his best friend. He didn't want Hide of all people to be killed.

"The egg is the world."

His right eye was blazing red – Kaneki was ready to fight.

"Who would be born must first destroy a world."

He wasn't going to let anyone touch Hide. He pulled out his bag and barely scathed the boy.

"You fight like a woman, Kaneki!"

He followed up with another punch – and then another. There was a kick somewhere in there. Kaneki had no idea where this was coming from. It wasn't precise, but there was some semblance of technique – almost like he'd been doing this all his life.

He was vaguely reminded of the television shows that Hide used to watch with him. What was it? Ninja-turtles? Doves?

But he didn't really care.

He caught Nishio-senpai straight in the gut.


"Liver."

She felt a momentary spasm of pain and then all of a sudden – she felt the killing intent rush through her body as if she wasn't human.

"Lungs, Clavicle vein, Spine."

It was her chakra – flaring wildly out of control.

"Neck vein, Brain, Kidneys, Heart."

She was losing her mind, ravenous, very depraved and ravenous – she needed meat.

"Stomach?"

"Which one would I go after?"

But then again, she clenched her eyes shut as she tried to master her emotions. There was a surging uncomfortable feel at the pit of her belly – like someone was chanting to her. Sakura was a paper-ninja through and through. But she had a vague feeling that none of it would be able to help her right now.

"Eat. Eat. Eat."

Not when the villain – the very strong villain, Zabuza of the mist was right behind her.

"It's over."


Kaneki dodged one hit – and then another. That's when he pulled the ghoul forward and his Kagune shot through Nishio's stomach.

And Nishio just coughed lightly before screaming.

"I'll die! I'll die! I'll die! I'll die! Gahh! Stop it you fucking idiot!"

He was thrown away, pinned against the wall.

That's when Kaneki started to feel hungry – he looked over his shoulder at the boy resting peacefully. It was a fragrant smell. Like mother's home-cooking. A thousand thought passing by – all urging him to eat.

Hide. Hamburger. Hide. Hamburger.

"Ahahahhaa…it was too crazy to pass up…"

There was suddenly someone in front of him. He didn't care care care care. He wanted to eat eat eat eat – hamburger. She was in his way.

"You actually look more inhuman than me."

Why was she in his way?

"The pain and hunger drowns out all reason and it's so painful, you'd rather die, right?"


She had droplets of water on her skin. Sakura clenched the kunai in her left hand.

He was a water clone.

She turned around to look at Kakashi who was now involved in the fight with the Hidden Mist demon. And then, he missed a step.

He was then encased in a prison of water. She blinked her eyes – wondering if she saw that right. She hardly trusted the man – he always seemed to have some trick up his shoulders. But most of all, Sakura had never been in a situation where things were this dramatic.

She could actually die.

Everything was so surreal.

"When I was your age – I had killed my entire graduation class." The demon of the mist, looked her way again and smirked, "And lived."

He brought his fingers together and created another clone – one which was advancing upon her. She screamed.

"You don't play ninja."

She was hit in the gut sharply by the clone. She heard vague cries, someone was calling out her name. She managed to regain her composure.

Naruto was fighting the clone off.

"Keep going away guys! The water-clone cannot go very far from his body! Take Tazuna and run!"

The blood-thirst, the adrenaline inside her body was increasing, second by second.

Kakashi was right. Clones had a connection with their main-body. She turned her heel. She pulled the drunk away with her, by the collar.

"Follow me!"

Naruto and Sasuke were already involved in some kind of plan, and it didn't involve her. Not that she gave a damn, because if she tried to be useful – she'd only get in their way. They were distracting the real one.

But that's when the clone came for her – or rather, Tazuna.

"Get back," she pushed the old man away as she launched into a frenzied combat with the clone. When he dodged one punch, she retaliated with another and then a kick. He was better than her – obviously. But even clones had their weaknesses.

"Hey pinky?"

She didn't know where the energy was coming from. And the further he got from his real body – the more sluggish he was.

"Do you think you can take me?"

Sakura probably couldn't, not at his full-strength anyways.

She drew back to give herself some more room – surprisingly he followed. She vaguely wondered if he was just being stupid. She flung both kunai back at him – they hit dead-center in his vitals.

They both sliced through the water-clone, as she backed it up with a well-placed kick. Relentless assault right in the -

"Stomach that!"

The clone fell apart. That's when she heard Naruto and Sasuke free Kakashi. All that mattered to Sakura was that Zabuza didn't send another clone after her. Oh and Sasuke-kun didn't hurt his pretty face too much.

She was tired. Her adrenaline and power was slowly declining. Falling to the ground in front of Tazuna, she watched the rest of the battle from afar.

"Hey kid – aren't you going to join your peers? Or help them?"

What an annoying old man. First he signs up three genin who were as effective as flies against the hidden demon of the mist, to protect him. And then he wants to tell them what to do.

Sakura wasn't sure if she was irritated with her own weakness or at the old drunk's audacity.

"Would you like to be killed?"

"Er…I…"

"Just sit back and watch the show…" she replied, "And be glad you aren't part of it."

The older man nodded his head meekly as she leaned back – watching as Kakashi-sensei incapacitated the man. She felt tired, tired and sleepy. Kakashi-sensei could take care of the rest of it. After all, he was her dear old sensei.

There was a puddle at her feet. She caught her reflection in it.

It wasn't her.


There was blood in his mouth.

"Manager…answer me honestly. While I was sleeping, what did I…?"

"There's only one way to satisfy a ghoul's hunger. You also know that." Kaneki was staring down at his feet. He felt so repulsed – so angry. So frustrated, "If you had stayed that way, you would have ripped up your friend with your own hands."

He leant closer whispered into his ears. Kaneki brought his eyes up to the door. It was a red door, with a glassy surface.

It was supposed to reflect himself.

"Please understand the kind of creature, you've become."

He thought this was some sort of sick joke.


As they travelled back from the Land of waves, Kakashi had been extra talkative. Sakura didn't particularly enjoy his company. He was annoying, inquisitive and tried to get too close to her. He was also fairly sadistic to his "cute, little genin".

"Have you been sleeping well, Sakura?"

She didn't respond. Because maybe, just maybe if the bags underneath her eyes weren't tell-tale of the nights with her new-found insanity – Sakura didn't know what else was. She was cracking.

He continued on.

"Might I introduce you to some bed-time literature? Also you haven't been talking to your team-mates much, recently? That's very bad."

"Please keep your third-rate old-geezer porn to yourself."

Kakashi crinkled his eyes and continued staring at his porn.

"Say, Sakura. I noted that you've been talking to yourself lately in your sleep. And it's not about Sasuke-kun."

She didn't respond. He leant toward her, speaking softly.

"Sleep lightly. Shinobi cannot afford to be caught up in dreams, Sakura-chan."

Sakura felt shivers go down her spine. He was just a dirty old man, a dirty old man who knew too much.

"Are you by any chance…" She paused, "Watching me whilst I sleep? Are you trying to get a pedophile charge?"

"Aish…here I was just trying to be your good ol' sensei." They dropped it after that – thankfully.

Kakashi did tease them mercilessly for a day or so, until he finally whipped out registration forms for the Chuunin exams. Sasuke looked as if Christmas had come early and Naruto looked confused at first.

"Naruto," Sakura began patiently, because Kakashi had averted his eyes, "There are ranks when you become shinobi. Chuunin comes after genin, and jounin comes after chuunin. Kakashi-sensei here is jounin."

The Jounin in question, crinkled his eye before waving good bye.

"I need to get going, you three." And with a puff of smoke, he left the three of them staring down at the registration papers.

That's when Sasuke turned to her.

"You are not going to back out."

Sakura blinked, because those were the first couple of words he had ever said to her.

"Sorry?"

"I don't care if I have to drag you through the test – you are not backing out. If you back out. That means all three of us. Dobe will go for anything that means being a hokage and this is part of what I want."

He was subtly insulting her. She didn't know what she wanted. Was that it?

"To be honest, your ninjutsu is worse than the dobe's. Not to mention your taijutsu. You were also completely useless during that last fight."

Well to be fair, she did shed a few tears when she thought he was dead. And yes, she didn't do anything that he wanted – but still.

It was harsh.

Sakura would have cried if she wasn't so bewildered. Naruto was looking from both of them, anger evident in his blue eyes.

"Teme, that's enough! Sakura was h-helpful!"

It was worse when Naruto tried to defend her. Because he sounded as confident as a rusted nail.

"With what dobe? Shut up. She was useless."

Sakura wished the ground itself would swallow her up. It might have well as been a bad dream. The love of her life just insulted her and meant every word.

But perhaps what made their little eventful meeting worse was a certain team from Sand – laughing at her. She didn't exactly know who they were until much later.

"Hahaha…is this what Konoha shinobi are like?"

There were three people. The one who had spoken, had weird paint on his face. Beside him there was a girl with sandy blonde hair, tied up. She was leaning against what looked like a fan.

"This exam looks like a breeze," she snickered. Her eyes fell on Sakura. It oddly felt like a hawk surveying her prey, "Looks we have a bunch of weaklings this year."

That made Naruto mad – and then there was some scuffling. Sasuke got involved. Sakura stood back from the whole thing because she felt killing intent radiating through the area.

"Kankuro, quit it."

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

Sakura didn't take note of the last one, at first. He was on the tree and staring at Sasuke, feet dangling. At first she thought he was talking to her. He exuded dominance in everything he did. She was shivering.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"M-me?" She squawked, pointing at herself nervously.

"No, the boy with the blue shirt," He barely glanced at her, it felt more like a dismissing glance, "What's your name?"

She hated herself for still getting shivers down her spine, as he spoke.


Kaneki wasn't exactly sure when it all started.

They were sitting in a library, somewhere in the haze of their minds. The library consisted of shelves, tall shelves consisting of books from "The Art of Medical Ninjutsu" to "The Best of Kafka". They ranged in all formats – from large tomes to short pocket books. It consisted of all the things that they'd like – from squishy teddy bears to coffee-makers.

But most of all, it smelled of books.

After all, the mind supposed to be a place where you liked being. The room was a compromise, a compromise between a twelve year old ninja girl and an eighteen year old ghoul-boy.

Kaneki and Sakura liked to talk. Or sometimes, Sakura liked to yell at him, whilst grabbing his collar. They didn't have a really good start – but that was a week ago.

"So let me get this straight."

"Er…yes…"

"I am sharing my mind with a ghoul. A person who eats other people."

He had a smile on his face, kind of like Naruto when he wanted to go on a date with her. She wanted to punch it.

This discovery was perhaps the only sort of consolation for her because it explained a lot. Not that she was pleased at all with it.

"I'm sharing my mind with a ghoul, oh my god."

"Half-ghoul. I'm still trying to get used to the idea of being a ghoul…"

She stopped kicking up her feet and glared at him.

"So wait, how do you know if you are a ghoul?"

"Loss of appetite? Hunger problems? Weird taste for food –"

Check. Check. Check.

"Kagune. Eyes."

"What?"

His right sclera faded into black and his red pupil shone through. And then something sprouted from his back.

Sakura then dodged immediately as the thing, pinned her to the wall. He looked maniacal, wild and insane. It looked like the foot of an insect.

"I'm going to eat you!"

"W-who are you?"

It was sudden – but he stopped himself. The boy, Kaneki's expression mellowed lightly as he let go of her t-shirt. She slid down. Sakura still had her back against the wall – and was now sending him a horrified look.

"Sorry, I still can't control this…kagune...or her…kagune…"


Hinami still never thought she'd seen anything as beautiful as her mother in her ghoul form. Mother's hands slowly caressed her cheeks, gently like a feather's touch. Mother's hands were also the hands she'd ever known in the outside world. The cruel reality that she was raised up with.

"Hinami…live…"

Her vision was blackened and all she heard was the sounds of Kaneki sobbing, choking. His hands were over her eyes – she didn't even get to see the final words that her mother wanted to say.

Because the ghoul inspector sliced her head off.

This much Hinami knew.

And big brother Kaneki didn't do a single thing, except allow her to retain that sun-bathed dream of her beautiful ghoul mother, which the world rejected.


Being affiliated with some gaudy-haired 12 year old in another world was not in the business for Kaneki. It was bad enough that he had no semblance of control in his head. It was bad enough that he had just found out that he was a ghoul.

It was bad enough that he had to deal with the loss of his taste-buds.

She was erratic.

She liked Sasuke-kun.

But most of all, she was a ninja – who killed people. There was something off about her. Like she shared a split personality or something. Either ways, ever since their connection. They both had their thoughts invading each other's minds.

"Who's Sasuke-kun?" He asked irritably, "And why is he in my head?"

"Someone who looks far better than you'd ever dream of looking."

"Well keep thoughts off him out –"

"Shut up, cannibal."

She was like that annoying little sister he never had. Kaneki had never had any siblings and as far as he knew, neither did Sakura. They were both only-children who didn't know how to deal with each other.

But being the mature one, he sighed, and sat down behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"Your hair," he replied. She had silky, long strands of hair, "For Sasuke-kun."

"What?"

"I thought I would learn to be a better friend if I learned how to braid," He said, a fond smile on his face.

"…Hey, Kaneki."

"Hmm?"

"Who are you trying to impress?"

Lately, Kaneki also had met a younger ghoul called Hinami. She couldn't read very well and he loved teaching her. So he watched Touka do her hair up just like the magazines did. Unfortunately, Touka was horrible at doing anyone else's hair but her own.

Kaneki really just wanted to make himself useful. Even if that meant waiting outside Touka's apartment to see Hinami.

"Do I look good?"

"It looks good on you."

"You're like my older sister, if I had one," she was grinning at him, "Now to impress Sasuke-kun with my hair-style!"

Actually, he felt like a parent, marrying his daughter off.


In retrospect, Sakura never thought she would make it to the chuunin exams. She was far too much of a paper-ninja for that. But she was in Phase II. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to take this achievement in a stride.

They were just being attacked by one weirdo after the other. He wanted Sasuke-kun. And Sakura's ears were still ringing from the last attack. And hence, both Sasuke and Naruto were knocked out cold from saving her skin.

"Such silky, long hair, pfft…trying to be a sexy ninja?"

She was caught by the hair, the same hair which Kaneki had taught her to put up in several different manners. It had all come loose, thanks to that Kingirl.

She had to save Naruto. She had to save Sasuke.

"Zaku, kill that Sasuke-guy in front of this boy-chaser's eyes. Let's teach this one a lesson."

She felt so humiliated. Her cheeks were redder than her impractical dress-wear.

Do you want to be strong?

That's when she felt that same abnormal energy surging through her veins.

Do you want to kill them all, Sakura-chan?

She sliced through her hair, cutting free.


He couldn't let this guy pass. He couldn't let this guy go to where Touka was.

"You mask-wearing demon. There's something I always wanted to ask you."

Kaneki was doubled over with pain, on the ground.

"To fulfill your desire to eat, you murder innocent people calmly. There are many children who have lost their parents to your hands. The surviving people's feelings…sadness…loneliness, the empty lies…"

He was edging in closer.

"Have you imagined what its like?" There was nothing but bitterness in his tone. His eyes were sunken, angry – lacking any sort of depth. They were the eyes of a would have almost been terrified if Kaneki hadn't seen worse.

"That bitch killed my ally just days earlier." Kaneki assumed he meant Touka. The man went on, "Why was he killed? Because he was an investigator? Because he was human? What a fucking joke."

"The world is wrong. And the ones corrupting it is you guys!"

Kaneki didn't blame him. He felt no pity for the investigator either.

Perhaps he was really the one who could see between two worlds. Not a ghoul, neither a human. Someone who could see both places. Maybe he could make them understand. That's what he thought at the time anyway.

He picked himself off the ground.

The investigator's kicks didn't hurt, there was always someone who hit harder. Like Nishio.

His attacks were not even as fast as Touka.

Kaneki realized that he needed to eat. All human beings had to eat to gain energy. All ghouls too needed to eat to survive. He zipped open the mask as he lunged forward.

"W-what the hell?"

And before the dove could respond, Kaneki was an inch down his shoulder.


She was biting into his hand.

"Get off me, bitch!"

She could feel him stabbing her back. But all of a sudden – she felt power flood her veins. Maybe this was what it was like to be depraved.

It didn't really matter to Sakura, where this power was coming from. She would fight back and she would win.

"I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH THEM."

They were her team-mates – even stupid Naruto. Especially stupid Naruto, with his stupid Hokage dream, everything was so stupid. Stupid stupid. But she wanted to protect him too.

She had the power to protect them. She had the power to kill.

She didn't need anyone. She didn't need Ino. She didn't need even her team-mates. She would kill all of their enemies. She was strong.

That's right.

The goat's egg began to exhibit some of the same characteristics as the goat herself. Sakura felt herself get excited. My god, it was tantalizing. She lunged forward at Zaku.

"Hey…what's wrong with her?"

She was frothing from the mouth.

"Hey, I was reading this book the other day."

"OH MY GOD ZAKU!"

"Kin, watch out!"

She had her foot on the man's back. She was holding the man's arms above his head.

"There was this scene where the black goat catches a man who was running away in bewilderment…and rips out a~ll his entrails. No matter how many times I read that part."

"Zaku!"

"It still gives me shud~ders."

She broke his bones and he screamed.

So did Sakura. With laughter.


Kaneki sunk back into his arm-chair. It smelled like old books. The smell of old books always calmed him down. But it had been silent lately.

Then she walked in. But there was something off about her. She had short hair – roughly cut off.

"You got your hair cut off?" He asked her, "Such beautiful hair too."

But there was still something off about the way she talked. Sakura Haruno, in the past month that he had known her – was far more concerned with the look and feel of her hair.

But lately – she was different.

"I had to," she smiled back at him confidently. But there was something really off about the way she was smiling, "It was getting in the way. Ninja-girls cannot afford to look pretty, y'know?"

That was partially true.

"Kill or be killed."

Eat or be eaten.

There was something new on the shelves lately. She always complained about her teacher – bless his soul. She owned a copy of Icha Icha Paradise. He never read that, but he heard her mention it.

He wondered if it was a good book.

"So…"

"So?"

"Do you have any friends?"

"Do you?"

Kaneki rocked backwards in his chair

"Tell me about this girl – this Ino girl. She was your friend wasn't she?"

When she didn't respond immediately, he thought he'd made her mad. Adolescents were so touchy – in some ways, she reminded him of Hide as a kid. Hide was noisy. Hide grumbled about this and that. Hide was also very unpredictable.

"I read one of Hinami's magazines yesterday – I think I know how to show you some hair-styles with short hair."

That's when she started to talk.


There were whispers all around her, Sakura was leaning on the rail – gazing downwards at the open stadium. She looked up to the board as it shuffled the names.

Sakura Haruno vs Ino Yamanaka.

Still bouncing on the bobs of her feet – she briefly realized that Sasuke-kun wasn't even here to watch her match. He wasn't here to watch her win. But then again he wasn't even awake when she protected him.

He had just been taken away with Kakashi.

"Sakura."

In retrospect, Sakura thought Ino was stupid, she was mean. She liked the same guy as her. She didn't want competition. She also didn't want to lose her best friend over the same guy.

So she was the one who cut off relationships.

"Ino."

She pulled herself over the railing, took off her head-band and shook her pink hair – tying the band around her forehead. The girl sneered at her.

"I heard strange things about you, forehead. Things like you took out an entire team."

"Yes I did," Her green eyes shone. She grinned triumphantly, "What's it to you? Weren't you hiding behind the bushes? Weren't you acting like you always do when I'm in trouble?"

Ino was bewildered momentarily.

"Don't worry," she fell into position, "Sasuke-kun won't hear your screams when I pummel you."

"I w-wasn't hiding. Y-you, you are sick-minded."

Sakura only grinned wider.

"Deny it all you want, it's your own lack of ability that caused you to cower back. Were you having a good laugh when they were out-numbering me?"

She laughed some more. And then began to circle her.

"Let me tell you one thing – Sasuke-kun likes strong girls. If you had been stronger, Ino – maybe you wouldn't have been so jealous of me."

That mostly did the trick.

Ino's fists collided into Sakura's cheek, she felt a jolt up her body. And the two girls were circling each other. But before she can move, she's kicked back.

Ino makes a few hand seals and Sakura felt her mind being invaded.


Kaneki thought he felt someone invade his mind-space for a second.

"Psst Kaneki…" There was a rustle of a paper.

Ino was supposedly someone who could take control over someone's mind – did that mean she would know about him? Did that mean she would know about ghouls? What would happen to Sakura? He wondered if she was okay.

As of lately, the pinkette had been reminding of a certain woman with glasses.

Speaking of Rize, he wondered if her family had a grudge against him. Her family had apparently had a 'quiet funeral'. Kaneki felt sort of sad.

He never meant to cause anyone pain.

"They definitely have a grudge."

He blinked and looked at Hide. The boy was pouring over the newspaper. Hide caught the utterly baffled look on his face and shoved several large sheaves of paper in his face.

"Idiot? Didn't you see the news? An investigator was killed?"

"Oh?"

"It's such an exceptional case, even Ogura-chan's making special appearances. Ghoul specials have been all over T.V. after midnight. Today will be the same."

Ghouls were a sensational topic. But after midnight? People loved sensational horror stories. Hide loved sensational things too. Mangas, documentaries, music. He got too easily influenced. There was a lot of ghoul investigation on television.

The boy continued talking as he sketched all over a folded wanted poster, "There were two ghouls involved. I think "rabbit" is acting in vengeance in cooperation with the "daughter"."

Hide was scary. Always so sharp, so perceptive. Even Nishiki-senpai said it.

"Nagachika is dangerous."

Kaneki wondered how long it would be until their friendship ended. He smoothed the flap of his bag, where his mask was crammed.


There were whispers around the stadium – they were sort of inconsequential. For maybe a sliver of a second, Sakura was remorseful. Ino had stopped screaming.

That's when the proctor, a sickly looking man named Hayate walked forward, holding her wrist back.

"That's enough, she can barely move."

She could hear silence all over the stadium. Even Naruto had stopped cheering.

She sported marks, here and there. But there was something about her posture. It was upright, unapologetic and confident. Ino on the other hand, was fairly beaten up, she had blood spilling from her mouth. It was a mostly taijutsu match.

Ino tried to control her mind. It was nothing Sakura couldn't handle, however.

Hayate was about to announce the winner of the match before Ino coughed out a stream of words. The medics had placed her on a stretcher, ready to leave. They paused as she held up a hand.

"There's something seriously sick about you – there is nothing about that wimpy, weak little girl in you. Y-you imposter!"

But there was nothing weak and wimpy about Sakura. Ino was mistaken.

"Don't be upset because you lost, Ino. Just blame your own lack of ability," Sakura jeered back, bitterness in the undertones of her voice, "Fawning over Sasuke-kun –"

"Who gives a damn about what Sasuke likes?" Ino was screaming back at her, there were tears flooding through her eyes. It made Sakura's smile drop, "Forget the goddamn match – you aren't the Sakura I know. She w-wasn't such a bitch like you."

Sakura felt like she was looking at herself. A younger, weaker self, covered in dirt – looking for reasons for why people were such bullies to her.

"Do you think you've won? You've just lost control of yourself."

Sakura averted her eyes.

"The winner of the match is Sakura Haruno!"

She then caught sight of a certain red head who was looking down at her.


As of lately, his attacks had improved. Perhaps it was Sakura's influence.

"Throw a punch, if you miss throw another – use your legs too. Relentless onslaught."

She had been trained for combat at a very young age – younger than him.

Their library had started to be filled up with lots of materials for learning how to fight. She did come from a shinobi village. Lately there was another addition to their library. There was another couch and even, when you pulled open one of the 'mock' books, you could open a stair-well leading to a practice arena.

It proved very useful for Kaneki.

"You are too slow. At this rate you'll never kill anyone. Quicken the pace."

He frowned.

"That's what Yomo-san keeps telling me."

Sakura paused, "You don't seem to be a fighter, huh?"

"I'd rather fight to protect than fight to destroy."

He breathed hard as she met him with another kick. He was sent flying backwards.

The girl rolled her eyes, "That's all great, peace-cakes. But that doesn't help do anything."

He didn't respond immediately.

"I'd rather not…lose control of myself. Do you know what that means Sakura?" Kaneki smiled at her, "Control is an important thing for a ghoul, I think."

He didn't really know much, but then again – Kaneki liked to think that way.

There were also a lot of things that Kaneki and Sakura didn't talk about.

He wondered what effect, being a ghoul, had on her. He knew that she had lost a sense of taste for the food she loved. And occasionally – it tasted strongly of vomit when he was having a violent ghoulish reaction. She complained rather loudly about that bit.

But he didn't know what eating did to her.

It was only their minds that were linked, psychologically – she shouldn't have been able to feel his physical responses.

Right?

"Ah…I have to wake up soon. I have an appointment to keep."

Sakura raised her eyebrows at him.

"A date?"

"Nothing of that sort," he smiled, "I'm going over to a friend's house."

Tsukishima-san's house was rather big. He also had a lot of books. He'd been invited over because Tsukishima was a collector of "fine, exquisite works".

"You have friends?"

Blunt kid.

"Besides Hide, of course?" She raised an eyebrow at him, "You mean you actually made ghoul friends? They are friendly?"

She was partially right about them.

Ghouls were the unfriendliest folk that he'd ever had the displeasure of meeting. For good reason too, Tokyo was practically a war-zone for them. He didn't know too many of them, but there were nice ghouls too. Like Mr. Yomo, the manager and even Touka. There was also Tsukishima-san. He was friends with Rize. Kaneki wanted to get to know Rize. He wanted to get to know the ghoul world.

There was a reason why people hurt. Since he was the only one between ghouls and humans.

"Yeah they are, Sakura. They aren't mean people."

"You talk as if they are people –" she snapped her eyes over at him, "No offense."

"None taken."

On the other hand, Sakura's presence made him feel human again. Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if he'd made her all up. They were worlds apart – ghouls and human ninjas. If she was in his world, he wondered what she would be. Would she be an inspector?

She was now throwing punches at the bag in front of her, one punch – then another, then her feet to complete the assault.

Or would she be a ghoul like him?

"You're staring."

"Sorry…ow!"


Kakashi-sensei still hadn't showed up for their training. But then again, Sakura had learned to not trust him from the beginning.

Sakura was getting bored, there was just Naruto there beside her – talking and talking.

"And so he took the bastard and left – huh?"

Sasuke was sort of a bastard, now that she thought of it. Insufferable little elite boy who thought he was on the upper-notches of society, just because he owned a pair of sharingan eyes.

She stopped swinging her legs back and forth.

Why was she thinking like this?

He had lost his family. He was drowned with hatred. He was a victim. She was supposed to be more sympathetic of him. But Sakura couldn't find that in her, these days.

Does it really matter?

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Course." Sympathy. Empathy. These emotions were…important, right?

Naruto looked mildly confused before asking her excitedly, "Hey Sakura-chan, wanna go around town to get ramen?"

What was wrong with her?

"Naruto," she looked up him, "Shouldn't you be practicing for your tournament fight? You'll be embarrassing yourself in front of a lot of people."

She didn't know why she was thinking like this, tournaments were supposed to be a test of skill. Not a stadium for –

Just like meat for slaughter.

But before Sakura could retract any of her words, the blonde ninja looked mildly downcast. He gazed down at his feet. Sakura suddenly felt horrible. Yes, she was a horrible person. She leaned over and placed a palm on his hands.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"No," Naruto pulled his hand away, "You are right. I'm nothing but an embarrassment to this village."

She had an inkling of a feeling that he wasn't referring to his abilities. Because if Sakura had to rate him – he wouldn't have done too badly on her list. Perhaps his control was off, perhaps he was a little bit erratic – but Naruto had a lot of power.

"I have the nine-tails in me."

She stopped swinging her legs again.

They were face to face. She was slightly taken aback, because he had very honest blue eyes. He was also scratching the back of his head, mildly scared of her reaction. She had only heard stories about the nine-tails. And then it all clicked, all the fussing around Naruto and all those dramatics. Even his stupid pranks made sense. Even the orange chakra when he got angry – when he was fighting to protect.

He acted like a little monster, but he wasn't. He was only human.

He was sort of like a ghoul. He reminded her of Kaneki. The nine-tails was a depraved thing, he couldn't help it. He was born that way.

"I'm sorry…I'll go now," he got up, "Sorry – I didn't mean to…"

"Naruto," she called out, "Sit back down."

And he did, promptly.

"Thank you for telling me this," she smiled at him. His face brightened like sunlight, "So uh…what's it like?"

"Ehhehe…I don't know but sometimes I get dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah, when I was younger I used to just think I imagined it all up, y'know? Like I created this monster in me. This great big giant fox." he leant forward and whispered into her ear, "I wondered if I made him up."

Sakura nodded with genuine interest. That's when another thought occurred to her.

Sometimes, she too wondered if she made Kaneki up. A Kaneki who was her older sibling – who did her hair. Someone to talk to. Someone who would listen about her and Sasuke-kun.

Someone who made sense of the world around her.

Sometimes she wondered if she should have been Naruto's friend, back then. And if truth be told, she still felt horrible about Ino. Victory was bittersweet. She might have been able to prove her worth – but she lost her friend.

Possibly almost forever.

"And then sometimes I hear voices in my head!"

And ever since you met Kaneki, they say you've started to go cra~zy!


The world still spun. He could still feel eyes on him, the jeering crowds and the eye of the bulky figure calling out his name.

"Ma…ma…"

He clenched his eyes shut.

Kaneki never thought he would be okay but then again. He had accepted the fact that his story would be nothing but a t-r-a-d-g-e-d-y.

Sometimes, life was so scary, it was so sensational – he'd rather be asleep. Sakura was trust-worthy. Sakura didn't scare him. Sakura was like his younger sister. The human piece of his mind that kept him feeling okay. She convinced him that he was still human.

He should have been smarter than this.

Someone told him that his kind-ness would be the end of him. He shouldn't have trusted ghouls to go anywhere they bid him. He shouldn't have trusted Tsukishima. He also expected her to be there, to listen to him. It was night-time. He was tired.

He was really tired.

After all, she was the only human part of him. Maybe she would be there to listen to his stories about ghouls. Maybe she would understand.

"Sakura?"

He glanced over at the shelves. They had been missing in some books, lately. He hobbled over to the shelves. She liked Icha Icha Paradise and even the little magazines that he bought for Hinami. Even the newspaper clippings about 'Tokyo', she liked reading all of them.

He slumped back down on the couch.

"Are you there?"

There was no response. He just really wanted someone to talk to. He just wanted to feel alright, again. The further he delved into the ghoul world – the more he had begun to realize that he was just always on the losing side. They were carnivores, they were winners. He was part of the food-chain.

Being a ghoul didn't make him immune to being food. No matter how much of a taboo it was.

"Loser. Loser. Loser."

He opened his eyes. There was something on his head, pecking it.

"Loser!"

He was such a loser. He was almost nineteen and he was still having imaginary friends.


"What are you here for, forehead?"

Ino didn't turn her head to greet her. She didn't even look at her. It didn't really make Sakura feel angry – but rather, her treatment was justified. She didn't deserve to be treated well, when she treated everyone else like they were dirt.

Naruto had it worse than her. He had a raging demon inside him, yet he was such a ball of sunshine.

She was just ordinary, yet she hurt someone. She'd been making all of it up. There was a rational explanation for Kaneki.

And Ino didn't deserve to be treated like that, they could have had a respectful fight, not a fight over Sasuke-kun.

And neither did Naruto. That's why she decided to start being nicer to him.

But lately it seemed like he disappeared. Perhaps he found a teacher – which left Sakura all alone. Kakashi-sensei hadn't even thought about her – she doubted he remembered that she had made it to the second round of the Chuunin exams. She still had a month left for training.

She was just that memorable.

"I came here to apologize."

"For?"

For being rude? For wanting to kill her? For putting a boy between them?

"I don't know."

Ino flipped her head around to glare at her.

"What? What do you want, forehead?"

"I really don't know. I just wanted to apologize…for everything…"

Without caution she started to cry.

She remembered that sound team that she had just killed. She was a killer. Kaneki was always so conscious about killing. He called her human. He told her that she of all people were the last remnants of human-ness left.

But she still felt like she made him all up, maybe she made up t-this monster. But he was more empathetic than her.

To convince herself that she wasn't one.

She was crying.

"Oi…"

She almost killed her best-friend.

"Sakura…hey…what's wrong…"

She had almost gotten Naruto and Sasuke killed too. What about a ninja girl was so human? She was a monster.

Ninjas were mercenary, they were in war. They had to fight to live. Tokyo was the same. It was a war-zone. She killed people in a test. She almost killed Ino over a petty squabble – all because she just had a stupid crush on Sasuke.

"I don't know…"


Something was missing.

Life had sort of gone back to normal for him. He went back to university, he went back to work and everything was alright. Kaneki barely thought much to Sakura – perhaps she was just something he made up, after all. But something still felt off.

They had a bunch of visitors one day. Ghouls.

They were looking for Rize. He wasn't exactly sure whether he should have lied or told the man the truth.

"Where is Rize-san…right now?"

The man was on all fours. Kaneki had never seen a grown man on all fours – it was sort of surreal to him. This was the same man who had almost assaulted him an hour earlier over being Rize's boyfriend. And then apologized profusely when he realized he was wrong.

"She…"

He had sincere eyes.

"…has already left this place…"

Kaneki watched with a sheepish look as the man slumped down on the couch – it was probably very disappointing.

"Okay well…can you tell her something then, since you are Rize's boyfriend?"

Kaneki was about to correct him – before he was interrupted.

"Tell her to run away."

Kaneki blinked.

"There's a gang of ghouls called 'Aogiri tree' that's looking out for her. They probably want to do something awful to her."

Kaneki was about to open his mouth to ask, why?

That's when someone broke through the glass-window of the pleasant coffee shop.


"Hey Ino?"

The two girls were lying down on the grass, panting from their last training session. Ino offered to help train Sakura – no matter who would come up. They would be looking at old library books and forging Kakashi's signature. And it worked.

"What's up?"

"What if you had a friend and you think they are in danger?"

Ino thought it was a strange question. It was always about strange questions when it came to Sakura. The girl had been acting strange since…

"Are you talking about Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke was with Kakashi, wasn't he? Ino furrowed her brow, no harm could possibly come to him.

"No, it's about someone else, but I don't know how to help him…"

Sakura had friends? The last time Ino checked, no one wanted to talk to the bitchy pink-haired girl who was in love with Sasuke. No one except for Naruto and her. Sakura wasn't very popular in the academy.

The other day she also overheard Kiba talk about her.

"I can't believe that Sakura-bitch made it through the section."

"Kiba-kun…you shouldn't say that…"

"There were rumours about her, didn't you hear? She killed the entire sound-team?"

"Don't defend her, Hinata. Did you see what she did to Ino?"

Ino didn't really want to punch Kiba at the time. If truth be told, she was happy. She was happy that the 'bitchy pink-haired girl' was getting what was coming to her. But right now, looking at Sakura – there was something genuinely wrong with her.

"Hey." She reached forward, "Sakura…what happened in that forest?"

Because even if Sakura was mean, horrible to the rest of the class and even down-right manipulative. She was still a strong person. She never cried even when no one wanted to be her friend.

"What happened to Sasuke?"

They were lying down sprawled out on the grass, gazing at the beautiful blue sky.

"Sasuke was losing his mind to the curse-seal. That's why Kakashi-sensei had to leave with him."

Ino remembered Sasuke's match. She was worried about him, but she was even more worried about Sakura.

"So the rumours were true? He was there?"

"He was there, Ino," Sakura gazed down at the grass, "And I couldn't do a thing. I was too scared."

"Sakura…what?"

"And it was because of my inability. I didn't mean to kill those kids, but I did. Not even when one of them were begging for their lives."

Ino was waiting behind the bushes, she didn't know what to do. She remembered the girl with the long hair – who was on her knees. Sakura was laughing. The pinkette traced a line over her throat – and then drew her kunai over it. No, Sakura wasn't incapable. She wasn't herself. She was…

It was only understandable that people died, Ino thought. But this was just a test. Yes, they were warned that they would they would lose their lives if they stepped out of line.

It's the reason why she didn't get involved.

But she didn't even want to help Sakura even when she was winning. Not because she was still a coward, but because it was just cruel.

"Hey," She turned over, "Yeah you killed them. But that's what you had to do. I was there. They were going to kill you. You were only defending yourself."

She ran her hand through Sakura's hair.

"You are strong. I know your friend will be alright if you go help him."


Today was another gamble. Today was another game. How much could he give in? Maybe Yamori would give up. And they played this little game. The more he screamed, the more his torturer liked it. One of the rules of the game was never to give in.

He didn't know how long he had been in there. It had been nearly ten-days.

There were little rusted pliers, crude little devices. But all Kaneki had was endurance, words from his mother.

"It is better to be hurt than hurt."

The floors were checkers, black and white – like a chess game. And today Kaneki would lose again.

It was like a never-ending game of chess. Would he come? And today Kaneki would lose. Hahaha…fucking loser…

"Kaneki?"

He snapped off another one of his toes. Kaneki screamed.

Yamori screamed too. With laughter.


The tournament was closing in on her. Sakura should have probably been practicing. But she lay down on her bed – thinking about Kaneki. Lately she'd been feeling scared, there nothing. It was a complete absence of him.

She felt like a part of her died inside.

So, she hadn't been here in a while.

"Hey, Kaneki?"

The library as of lately had been filled with vines twining up the walls and through the empty book shelves. Everything looked old and broken down. She walked through the room – there were thirteen locked up rooms on either end of the library.

Amidst it all, there was someone else was sitting on one of the arm-chairs.

"Hello, Sakura-chan."

The woman crossed her legs. She had her elegant nails – red, deep bloody and over the cover of a cracking book, 'The Ghoul's egg'.

"What's wrong? I'm not Kaneki-kun? But didn't you miss me, Sakura-chan?"

Kamishiro Rize.

Sakura had never known the woman. Neither had she ever bothered to know of her. Kaneki refferred to her as Rize. But Sakura had never met Rize. Not in person anyways.

"Where's Kaneki? Why are you here?"

"Aish…look how she talks. You are no fun Sa-ku-ra."

There weren't moments of Sakura. It all had begun to make sense to her, now.

There were moments of Rize. She was copying Rize. Because Kaneki wanted to be Rize. He was as real as her finger-nails. Kaneki spoke of her, once or twice – or maybe she saw it through his memories.

"Where's Kaneki?"

"Don't you have to practice for you tournament? Go play with your new friends? Not with your imaginary friend."

Sakura didn't respond at first. Rize wasn't created. Rize could not be created by her – Rize was everything Sakura hated. She ate people with no regard.

Sakura never knew where Rize fit into this whole rigmarole. But she proved Kaneki's existence.

"Where's Kaneki?" Sakura repeated, "Where the hell is he?"

'Rize' didn't answer.

There were thirteen doors all around her, now the knobs were glowing red – hot iron. Sakura didn't really care as she attempted to tear off the doors. Her fingers burned. Everything burned. Thirteen was unlucky – Kaneki was unlucky.

He was in trouble – that's all she knew. But he wanted to shut her out – or maybe this woman wanted to keep him away from her.

"Where is he?!" She turned around, screaming at the older woman. The lady rolled her eyes, and that's when something shot out of her back, pinning her against the walls.

"He'll come out when he's ready, you inconsequential brat," Rize laughed, it was a haphazard sort of mad laughter. Sakura felt herself being suffocated, "But till then, you can be my snack."

Something was wrong.

"Kaneki would never do this to me – you aren't real!" Sakura screamed, her throat was choking, "You aren't fucking human!"

"Oh Sakura-chan," And she felt herself being pulled in by the monstrous thing, "You know I'm a set of your complicated desires – all the things you want. All the things he desires. Do you know what I am?"

She squirmed in her grasp. Rize was advancing on her.

"Do you think he's your sweet older brother? He's a ghoul."

"H-he's human!"

"He's a ghoul," Rize repeated, her eyes bled into red, "And so am I."

She brought her cherry-lips to Sakura's shoulder.

"Let me consume you, Sakura – so you won't have to fear anymore. Don't you want to be me –"

That's when Rize was thrown off. The library began to crumble. The walls began to fall apart. Rize looked up at the girl who unfazed by her.

"No, I'd rather fight to protect rather than kill. I'm human, not a depraved creature like you," Sakura responded angrily, "I don't want to be you."

The shelves began to fall.

"What a foolish girl."


There was a centipede squirming in his ear.

And the first girl who he ever had taken out on a date leaning over his shoulders. She rested her chin over his head. He was the king of everything and nothing.

"So do you still think that there are good ghouls?"

The manager was someone he could trust right?

"You can't trust anyone."

It doesn't matter. Rather than being someone who hurts others. Become the one being hurt.

"Aren't you a little pacifist? Just like your mother wanted?"

It's alright to lose out with love and warm feelings, Ken. A kind person just finds happiness in that.

She was now circling his throne, enticing him. She was truly the devil incarnate.

She brought her cherry red lips to his ears, "You got tricked by me, tampered with by the doctor and turned into a monster. This is all your fault."

"All your friends at Anteiku will be eaten."

"Then I'll fight back."

"Were you that reluctant to use the kagune?"

"Then I'll learn how to use it."

Before she could react, he was one inch down her shoulder. He was ripping out her flesh.

"That's right, Kaneki – to live is to consume."

He was a ghoul.


"Eh? Sakura-chan? You made it to round two?"

She looked different. She had bandages around her arms, perhaps from weeks of practicing. Sakura looked briefly over to Naruto. She was smiling at him, for the first time.

"I thought I told you that a month ago."

"Ehahaha…I forgot…" Naruto scratched the back of his head, nervously.

Shikamaru was leaning against the wall, watching her. He had just had his match, he was nursing his bruises and scratching the back of his head. He noted that she had her hood up, covering her face.

"Sakura-chan, when did you start wearing hoods?"

She didn't really know, perhaps they gave her a sense of security. Perhaps they were a fashion statement.

She flickered her eyes up to the board.

Sakura vs Gaara.

And the red-head hopped down, fixing his glare on her. She could tell exactly what he was thinking – he would probably wipe the floor off with her.

And he could, she didn't deny it. But Sakura had learned something he didn't.

Naruto gulped beside her.

"Sakura-chan! Forfeit this match!"

There were angry yells all around her – they wanted Sasuke and Gaara. Not her. They were still inconsequential.

Sakura didn't really care. Nothing really intimidated her. Sasuke was still late for his match, and it was nearly an hour late. He didn't really matter anyways.

It wasexpected from the notorious Hatake Kakashi. The Sandaime therefore decided on her.

She pushed her hood off.

"I'm going, Kaneki, wish me luck."


"Kan~eki!"

He wore a white suit, Yamori entered the chamber, the echoes following each of his foot-falls. Perhaps one of his favourite torture victims was Kaneki – Kaneki who didn't break.

What a beautiful sight.

"You know," he said slowly, "The CCG has just invaded this building – they will be in shortly, Kaneki-kun. I have no use for you."

He cracked a finger.

That's when his tone growled or rather turned a notch higher, "You know there were rumours, about eating ghouls – it makes you stronger."

He pushed up his mask, "Do you think ghouls were designed to compete with each other?"

He was getting excited – finally. Soon. Soon.

"I want to eat you!" There was spittle forming on the ends of his mouth, "I want to kill you."

His roars were echoing around the chambers – screeching, crying, making some incoherent sounds. He stopped when he heard laughter. The boy looked up at him, there was an odd smirk on his face.

"What an inconsequential man."

Something sliced past his face, ripping out blood.

"Y-you bit me?" He was screaming atop his lungs but before he could continue – he felt chains around his neck, choking him. And the insect was whispering into his ears.

"That tastes foul…like the guts of a fish on the verge of rotting."

He threw him over his back and slammed him into the wall. Kaneki got up again, wiping off blood from his mouth.

"You tried to eat me, so isn't it fair that I eat you?"

Kaneki cracked his finger.


She was a ninja.

Zabuza once told her that she was playing ninja. That's what Gaara reminded her of. Someone who was playing ninja. To be a ninja, meant to be someone who protected – not take lives, needlessly.

"I'm going to kill you." The world was wrong. She would be another notch in his belt. Another death. Just another death.

Sakura was panting. The match had been long, nearly twenty minutes now. The sand-boy was starting to get impatient, actually. She'd been evasive yet manipulative enough to trap him a several couple times.

"Does Gaara's mommy tell him to kill?"

The performance was sensational enough to calm the crowd who really wanted to see the last Uchiha.

"Then if Gaara kills us, who will get the blame? Gaara or his invisible mommy?" He was screaming with every taunting word.

But Sakura herself was running out of dirty tricks. She was fast enough, lithe enough to dodge his attacks. But she sensed his irritation.

Perhaps that's what got her started thinking. He was starting to mumble angrily under his breath, referring to her as a fly and then this and that – the abuse really didn't unnerve her.

"Will Gaara's invisible mommy be there to wipe out all that blood on Gaara's hands?"

She might been the first person to talk to him this way – because it clearly had a profound effect on his actions.

"So if I kill Gaara, wouldn't that be a great ending? For both Gaara and his mommy? It's not kill or be killed. It's kill if you want to be killed."

And his roars filled the stadium. She grinned.

She brought her hands together – in the manner that Zabuza once did.

"I'll be borrowing something, Zabuza-san. Ninpou. Hidden Mist no Jutsu."

Somewhere on the Kage balcony, the Mizukage fanned herself and raised an eyebrow. She sent the suddenly tense Hokage a look.

"Hokage-sama – is there any reason why one of your students is imitating our trademark assassin move?"

"Unfortunately, that's the student of sharingan no Kakashi, Mizukage-sama," The Hokage sighed, "I assure that this isn't part of the Konoha curriculum. They had quite a run-in with Zabuza of the Hidden Mist."

The Mizukage rolled her eyes, "I guess I need to thank you Hatake Kakashi for that. That boy was quite a problem child."

The stadium was filled with mist. Several jounin scratched their head, everyone watched on nervously as the stadium had suddenly gone quiet. They could only hear cries of Gaara, residing, the volume decreased. But inside the mist, there was something going on.

When the mist had cleared, Sakura had her final kunai held against the boy's neck. He was down on his knees. His sand cocoon was fallen apart. The heavy moisture of the mist – infiltrating the sand, making it heavier to manipulate.

He was vulnerable, exposed and dripping wet.

"Just kidding. I don't want to take your life."

To live was to fight. But that didn't mean she wanted to kill.


"Gross, gross, gross. I'm gonna puke."

"874, 867, 860."

"Nothing tastes worse."

He was ripping out the flesh. It tasted horrible.

"But perhaps you too are a victim…if humans were the ones who turned you turned you cruel…perhaps you are in a way also a victim."

Kaneki wiped his mouth. He looked down at Yamori with disgust. He brought a palm to his ear began to hit the side of his head. That's when the centipede squirmed out from his right ear. It fell to the floor and shuddered.

"But I won't be like you. I won't be someone who takes lives for pleasure."

He kicked open the door.

"I really don't want to be responsible for something like your life."


"Congratulations."

Sakura looked up at Kakashi who was tousling her hair.

"I have to say, I never expected you of all my students to earn the title of chuunin. It was a pleasure being your sensei."

It didn't mean she was done with the team – she would still be on it until the Hokage relocated her. Being chuunin only meant more missions, after all.

"It was great being your student," Sakura wanted to say, "Although I learned absolutely nothing."

But she settled for smiling, "Thank you."

After-all, she had a sense of accomplishment, maybe she could possibly skip the team-meeting and meet Ino.

Sasuke was strangely pouty about her win. She didn't really know why. Or maybe she did.

But Naruto was ecstatic – maybe she could take him on his ramen-date later. Food had started to taste normal lately.

"Maybe I might treat you guys to something, since I feel like such a proud teacher. How do you feel about barbeque, Sakura?"

He sent her a look.

But she still wasn't interested.

"I'll pass," Sakura grinned forcefully, "I don't have the appetite. And I'm fairly certain, you wouldn't like to spend any cash."

Perhaps she could actually skip this to go celebrate with Ino. That's when she remembered, she was probably celebrating with her team. After all, she was not the only one who had become chuunin. There was also Shikamaru.

She dragged herself to her house, on her way past it – she caught sight of someone very familiar. She should have been mildly nervous. But for some reason there was something different about him.

"Hey."

Gaara turned to look at her then he looked down at his toes, shyly.

"I heard about your promotion, congratulations." There was a sincere tone, and Sakura couldn't help but feel like he was mildly resentful. But it wasn't really at her.

"Thank you," she responded, "Thank you for the fight. You fight well."

Perhaps that would mollify his pride a little.

They didn't really have much to say to each other. Everything just felt awkward. So she bid him good-bye and a safe-journey back home. But he called out to her.

"Hey wait!"

She turned her heel.

"Yeah?"

"What you said there… to live was to fight but to fight was to protect? I've been thinking about that."

"Yeah. A good friend of mine taught me that."

Gaara was blinked at her, urging her to continue, so she did.

"It's a nice thing to believe, isn't it? Fighting to protect? Never losing sight of yourself?"

Gaara thought so too.


The television buzzed in the background.

"According to his friend, Hideyoshi Nagachika, Kaneki Ken has been missing from the 20th ward..."

Somewhere else, it was a beautiful day. A certain white-haired boy had a few pins in his mouth as he twisted up the strands of the younger girl's hair. It had been nearly a month since his encounter with Aogiri tree. It was never really the end.

"If anyone has heard anything about Kaneki Ken, please inform the local police department – as this might be a ghoul-related incident…"

"You are so good at this – onii-chan!" Hinami grinned, happily. Because today they would be going to a Takatsuki Sen book-signing.

Kaneki glanced down at the magazine, frowning because he might have missed a step. But probably just his imagination.

"Did you have a lot of practice?"

He smiled.

"I did."


Thank you for reading (and sorry).