AN: I read these books, and I got totally hooked! I can't wait 'till 'Blood Promise'!

AN 2: I feel like angsting. Deal.

I stretched out on my bed in the little, crappy motel room. I'd just come back from Russia, following a lead, but now I didn't know what the hell to do.

I'd been gone from St. Vlad's for about a month. I'd staked maybe twenty, thirty Strigoi? I had the number written down somewhere, but I was too tired to go looking for it.

I rolled over and grabbed the TV remote. I pressed to power button and started to surf. God, where the hell has the good TV gone to? I flipped quickly past TV Land, paused, then flipped back. Yep, just like I thought. They were playing an old John Wayne movie. That hurt too much, so I moved on.

Finally, I stopped on something that appeared to be good. Yep, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. The vamps she fought were unrealistic enough to make me laugh, and some of the fighting was funnier than the idea of me in pink lace. But I liked Buffy. I related. She was pretty badass too, and there was that whole boyfriend losing soul after sex thing that we had in common.

I sprawled on the bed, losing myself in someone else's troubles. When it was over, and switched to what looked like a sitcom, I turned off the tube. Great, time for my daily crying session.

The first week I left school, I was still in a lot of shock. But after I stared killing Strigoi, something inside me snapped. I saved all of that pain, from missing Lissa, killing things, and . . . well, I don't want to think about that until I have to. Looks like this would be my moment.

I wondered what TV Dimitri liked. Probably none, except old westerns. He would undoubtedly hate 'Buffy'. But I guess I'd never know, would I?

In the beginning, I thought I could save him. There would be a loophole, or he never would have turned in the first place. Anything. But I've learned something. There aren't any loopholes. This isn't a game of truth or dare, where you can pass on the hard dares, and lie during truth. You don't get any other options.

Now, I just want it to be over. I will never get closure; probably never love anyone but him. But I could go back to having a semi normal life. I could be Lissa's guardian. I could have friends. But I still had this dumb promise living over my head.

I'll find Dimitri. And I'll kill him, because, frankly, if I have to live like this much more, I'm going to blow my fucking brains out.

Suicide isn't really an option. It's something I think I wish I could consider, if that makes any sense. Dimitri gave his life for me, and I can't waste it.

Tired of my problems, I decided to do something I rarely do anymore: slip into Lissa's head. I check up on her, but she doesn't need me barging in after I left.

She was sitting in the library, studying with Christian. They were holding hands under the table, and every so often he'd squeeze hers.

I came back into my own self, blinking away tears. They were fine. But I wanted so badly to be back, to belong. And I would, someday, after I'd done what needed to be done: setting Dimitri free.

AN: It's kinda emo and a little ranty, but I needed to blow off some steam. And there are a hell of a lotta stories worse than this. I use punctuation! Reviewing would make me happy, but some people enjoy crushing dreams, and if you're one of them, forget that little green button ever existed.