We are best friends, Ashley and I.
the two teenagers who believe that your honest opinion is your religion. We're the ones you see walking down the street, one wearing heavy make-up, chains, in all black and red while the other is wearing simple jeans, a sweater, and just enough make-up that will destroy any wish of making contact. There a lot of things that people don't know about us or about what we do. People like to think we are the way we are because we're going through a phase or want some attention. They don't understand.
It takes a lot for us to believe in something. The things we, as people, are taught to believe just doesn't seem to satisfy are thirst for the truth. We don't believe something just because another person says it to be true. We need proof.
Of course, we didn't believe it when someone said that drugs and alcohol could tear someone's life into tiny, little pieces. We didn't believe it when another person gave us examples how of we would live if we got too much. We wanted our proof, our experiences to help us understand.
Things got out of hand. No one told us it starts out small. No one told us that there are signs to know when enough is enough. We thought we had it all figured out. It wasn't long before the alcohol and drugs became our safety blanket. Poor grades in school began to pop-up, family issues, and losing friends became too much. So we ran under the covers like the boogie man was hot on our trail.
We need people to understand that we never meant for this to happen. Control, after a while, was no where to be found. One more hit is all we needed to make things better. Another swig kept us alive for a bit longer. They blocked out the pain from never having enough.
Our minds were else where. Wondering streets of dust looking for whatever piece of sanity was left. I forget who lost it first, but as soon as one went under the other followed. Best friends till the end, your not doing this alone. Our brains had turned into mush.
Once we figured that there was no point on keeping our bodies living while our thoughts had died we decided that we need to leave in hope that we could be re-born into people that could make a difference. That could stop this from happening to other kids who just need a break. So we took all the drugs we had, gulped down the last of every bottle. Instead of relying on the hopes of over dose, we slashed our arms into shreds. Everything in our system blocked out that physical pain we wanted to badly to feel. To let us know that the poison in our systems hadn't taken us all the way. Met with disappointment, we held on to each other's hands with the fingers that still had connected nerves and hoped we would be together in our new lives.
As we both started drifting in and out of our dazed states covered with vomit and tears, I realised what was happening. We were dying. It was the best feeling I could have ever gotten and I knew some how she felt the same overwhelming joy. We don't regret what we did. We want to come back so we can save the kids who just need to get out. We will come back, and we will serve our purpose.
We were best friends, Ashley and I.