I don't own Gintama nor Bleach. I think I'll actually use suffixes in this fanfic. Anyway, this is a bleach/gintama crossover brought to you by bored to heck and the editors, creators, and staff of Gintama and Bleach. I can guarantee that there would be little action in this fanfic, as proven by my other two stories. Formed in my sugar/music saturated brain while I was setting tables. Some OOC-ness and stupidity.
CHAPTER 1
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"Shinpachi, what day is it today?"
"Gin-san, it's Sunday. Can't you at least maintain the basics of a human being and remember what day it is?" Shinpachi refused to look up the magazine that read "Otsuu-chan wins Top Singer Award!"
"Time to complete Mission of the Day 0001: Buy Jump!" Gintoki stopped picking his nose and ran out of the door.
That's the only thing he lives for isn't it. Shinpachi thought as he continued to leaf through the magazine.
"Oi, kono-megane," Kagura emerged from the closet and yawned. "Where's Gin-chan?"
"YEEEESSSS!" Shinpachi got up and started punching the air. "GO, O-TSUU-CHAN!"
"Go clear your head and drown yourself at it, you disgusting otaku. That's why your name is Shinpachi, not Shinichi-aru," Kagura muttered as she climbed back into the closet.
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"Stupid, friggin' bookstores!" Gintoki shouted to no one in particular as he shuffled down the street. "Which hellhole of a town would run out of Jump on the same day it comes out? This is outrageous! It's the stupid ninjas again isn't it?"
"Hey don't diss ninjas, you stupid perm!" A teenager in an orange jumpsuit and spiky blond hair shouted from across the street.
"Shut up, you stupid idiot!" Gintoki shouted back. "You're in the most popular manga of our genre, yet there are more fan girls for Sasuke than you. You're the stupid one, stupid!" He then spotted a familiar-looking cover inside the window of a convenience store across the street.
"JUUUMMMPPP! It's STILL THERE! You stupid ninja, you're not getting it!" Gintoki started to run across the street.
BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP! SCCCRRREEEEECCH! BAM!
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Eh, has this happened before? Eh, why is it red again? Eh, am I going to be in a flashback soon? Eh, it's almost time for the four o' clock drama! I have to get the Jump now.
"Quit hanging onto the Jump! You're going to end up as a hollow if you keep thinking 'eh's, you know," A person in a black kimono and sporting orange hair said to him while shaking Gintoki.
"Stop, Ichigo!" A smaller figure wearing the same type of kimono said while kicking the orange head. "You'll kill him. But he's dead isn't he? Still,you'll kill him!"
"Let go- Kurosaki-san?"
"Sakata-san? Why are you here?"
"That's what I want to ask. Why are you in my anime?"
"Aren't you in Bleach?" Ichigo and Rukia asked Gintoki at the same time.
"Today isn't Tuesday. And I think I saw Naruto-kun just now."
"Yamamoto-genryuusai ordered us to take you back to the Soul Society," Rukia said while keeping a serious face. "Your body is still down there though."
Down on the ground was Gintoki's body, covered in blood, right in front of a truck. "EHHHH? Oi, bored to heck! This isn't a joke! You seriously killed me! You killed me! I'm only in my twenties. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIIIIEEEE!!!"
"The author's turning away," Ichigo said. "I think the longest you can stay here, Sakata-san, is until your funeral is over."
"LISTEN TO MEEE, you damn monster! You better revive me by the end of this fanfic, or I'll tell the stalker masochist kunoichi to kill you!"
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A/N: I can't guarantee that Gintoki will still be alive, but he'll be in the next chapter. Parodies will continue. Flame me, skin me, burn me alive, feed me to Sadaharu if you hate my guts. Up next: Gintoki's Funeral
