Double Killed- A DBZ Fanfic starring . . . Krillin and the androids!
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Skippy's Peanut Butter. What a tragedy.
A/N: Ok, so, I'm preeeeettyyy sure that this is probably not at all what happened to make Krillin get killed by Juuhachi and Juunana both in The History of Trunks. This fic is just my mere imagination going . . . crazier than wild. XD Oh, yeah, and I knew I said on my profile that this would be a oneshot, but change of plans. It's gonna be, like, three chapters at the maximum because I wanted to add something in. Enjoy and review!
Krillin sat curled in a corner of Master Roshi's submarine, hyperventilating while thinking over a one of many tragedy.
Ok. So . . . Piccolo was dead.
It was really sad how he got punched like that. He was the first to try, and the first to die.
Sad. He'd probably challenged Juunanagou too and lost his own duel.
And Krillin felt a miserable emptiness . . . it was like losing Goku all over again, Gohan crying into his shoulder and all. 'Scept that this time it was Piccolo. Piccolo, goshdammit! It was, in a way, even worse! The Dragonballs were gone.
And he couldn't escape to Namek again . . . not in the middle of the situation the Earth was in. Not while the androids were terrorizing.
But, come on, there was still hope, right? Vegeta had still been alive and was a Super Saiyan! And Tien was living too. And Chiaotzu. And Gohan. And Yamcha.
And himself.
Krillin wasn't afraid of dying. It was pretty cool in Otherworld. And maybe he'd get to hang out with Goku like old times.
It was terrible, though, how the androids just killed and not feel anything. Especially since they looked so young. It wasn't like Vegeta or how any other bad guy had killed. Theirs was so . . . robotic. With a lot of juvenile-ness involved.
They'd just wiped out Piccolo without a second thought.
And then Vegeta had died. Vegeta! The goshdamn almighty super Saiyan was gone! And Krillin had panicked a little bit. What chance did he, Chiaotzu, Tien, or Yamcha have then?
And then Yamcha was killed, then Tien.
And he was the only one left. Well, Gohan was still alive but he was just a kid! Krillin couldn't just leave him to fight the androids alone. It was inhumane.
And he knew he was next.
"I'm hungry." Oolong's nasally voice shattered his thoughts. Krillin, in a way, wanted to thank him.
Master Roshi nodded. "Me too. Who's going for the food run?"
Puar shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Don't look at me. I did it yesterday."
"I did it the day before that!" Oolong piped up.
"And I'm just a slow old man who can't even make it to the house!" Roshi chimed in.
All eyes were on Krillin, who stared at them in terror. "What? Me?"
"Yeah," said Oolong. "You didn't do it all week. You just cowered in the corner unlike the warrior you're supposed to be."
"B-but those androids kill, man!" The ex-monk protested. "They kill super Saiyans! Vegeta's dead! Everyone is! So what chance do I have?"
"Nobody has a chance unless you get us some goshdamn food!"
Krillin sighed, peeking out the hatch of the submarine as it resurfaced. The coast was clear, but still . . . .
"Why can't Turtle do it?"
Oolong answered him as if it were obvious. "Cuz he's a turtle."
Krillin guessed he couldn't use the "But I'm only human!" excuse right then.
He peered out again. Ok. So . . . the Kame House was only about ten yards away. And then, maybe he'd be safe for awhile, outta the androids' radar. And then he'd grab an armful of food and dash back. Simple . . . hopefully.
Finally, he said, "Ok. I'm going for the grub."
"Great," his old master said seriously. "Cuz I was having strange thoughts."
Curious, Krillin raised a brow.
"No, I mean, stranger than usual thoughts." He cast a secretive glance at Oolong. "Like . . . bacon thoughts."
Oolong, who'd heard, gave a disgusted/afraid expression. "Please get us some food."
"And bring some of my magazines while you're at it!"
And so Krillin discreetly slipped out the hatch, only hovering for a nanosecond, before darting through the air, towards the little pink house he'd lived in since thirteen.
When he landed on the island, he was slightly angered that the door was freakin' locked. Like, who would ever break in, huh? The androids would merely kick the door down and say that locks and keys were overrated. "Silly humans . . . locks are for idiots!" Something like that.
Of course, he could've just broke down a door too, but . . . well, he actually was a bit worried about robbers or something, and the front door being bashed in was a total invitation for waltzing right in. That is, if somebody happened to stumble upon their almost godforsaken island.
So he threw himself skillfully through the top, side window, smashing it in the process. Not that a broken window mattered with killer cyborgs on the loose.
Shattered glass clattered to the floor as Krillin rolled onto the guestroom floor, glancing out the crashed window. Coast still clear.
He scuttled down the stairs, two at a time, nearly breaking a toe at one point.
He raced to the kitchen, yanking the pantry door and fridge open. In the pantry, there was a jar of peanut butter and a couple boxes of cake mix, along some foil paper.
That was it.
Startled, Krillin scanned over the cupboard again. Peanut butter, cake mix, foil paper. Cake mix, peanut butter, foil paper. Foil paper, cake mix, peanut butter.
Crap.
Krillin stuck his head in the fridge. There were ice cubes and mustard. Nothing else.
Gosh, they were food broke. Everyone would be so pissed at him. But he was pissed at them. Darn it, didn't Puar say she'd food-ran yesterday? Why didn't she say that they were fresh out? Whyyyy? Now he'd just risked his neck for no reason at all!
Gosh. Oh, gosh. Ok. Nooo food. He was panicking big-time. What was he gonna say to them? What was he gonna do? How were they going to eat?
Krillin began pacing the kitchen floor, his brain hurting from thinking.
Umm, they could eat peanut butter. It did taste really good. Yeah, and they could sprinkle cake mix on it. Peanut Butter Ball Cake!
He frowned. Ok, that was just the worst idea ever. Didn't cake mix have raw eggs in them? Or, dry raw eggs? He didn't know. He never really baked anyway. That was Oolong's hobby.
Krillin blinked suddenly, feeling power levels dropping in the atmosphere. Human power levels. Damn androids. Were they on their killing sprees again? Right then?
He realized that it wasn't safe in the Kame House, and that mentally bitching about no food wasn't going to help.
And neither was fetching for Roshi's porn.
He just unlocked the front door after grabbing the peanut butter (hey, you never know) and ran out through the sand, then leaped at the water's edge, flying over to the area where the sub was s'posed to be.
Master Roshi's eager head popped out of the hole. "Where's my magazines?"
"And Puar and I's food?" Oolong moaned from somewhere inside.
Krillin climbed in through the a hatch, failing at hiding his guiltily expression. "Well, see, I got you this peanut butter."
Oolong snatched the jar from his fingers, staring it down. "What is this shit?"
"Your dinner for the rest of your life," the ex-monk deadpanned glumly.
Puar's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're not serious?"
"Hey, you never told us that you went and took all the food!"
"I did?" The floating cat seemed confused. "Really? I thought I left some cake mix."
An unintentional growl escaped Krillin's throat. "You sure did!"
"I'm starving!" Oolong groaned miserably. "I can't live on peanut butter!"
"And I can't live without my magazines!" His old mentor said distraughtly. "Or at least without fine ladies around me. I've always had girls nearby. Bulma, Launch . . . ."
"And that's about it," Turtle spoke.
Krillin sighed. "So yeah. Peanut butter tonight."
"No!" Oolong barked angrily. "You go out to the store and get us somethin'! Nowww!"
He doubled back in surprise. "What the hell, Oolong! The androids are in the city! They'll kill me!"
The pig's eyes were hunger-crazed as he hissed, "I'll kill you."
Master Roshi coughed an ahem. "Hey. Oolong, Krillin's right. You can't just send him into the city like that. It's dangerous out there. But . . ." He paused, closing his eyes for a second. At least, it seemed like his eyes were closed. Nobody could ever tell what he was doing, looking at, or whatever, behind those shades.
And then he opened them. Well, Krillin was pretty sure they were open now.
Roshi said, "They're not there at the moment. At the grocery store we usually shop at."
"Who?"
"The androids!"
"But I thought you couldn't sense the androids!" Krillin exclaimed, incredulous.
"I can't," the turtle hermit stated. "But I can feel the people. And if most of em are still alive, then they haven't struck yet."
Krillin had to agree with his old mentor's logic. "Oh, yeah. In the house, I felt them terrorizing some other town!"
"See?" Oolong growled. "It's totally safe. You can get us some food now. Just, like, steal it. City's probably jacked up anyway."
Krillin stared at Master Roshi, his eyes wide. "Seriously? Should I, you know, steal?"
The old man nodded grimly. "Well, yes, if you have to. I've no zennie left."
Oh, man, Krillin thought soberly. What has our world come to?
Cuz to him, it was totally messed up with only a few thousand people left. To him, it was seriously unandroid-proof. A shame.
But Roshi's pep talk was a bit ineffective. Krillin really did wonder why he had to be the one to go into a vicious city after he'd just risked his life to get a jar of peanut butter.
"I just did my turn," he stated hopefully. "It's Oolong's now."
The pig looked alarmed. "What? Not me! It's still Krillin's turn. It was unsuccessful the first time."
"But I got you peanut butter!" Krillin wailed desperately.
"Yeah, but no one here really like's Skippy."
Krillin sighed forlornly. He was going into the city.
A/N: Well, there goes chapter one! I hope you liked it! Review please!
