I think I love him

By James Carmody.

Disclaimer: Buffy the vampire slayer and all characters in the series are the property of Joss Whedon, not myself, I will Never accept any money or credit for the storyline- Until he decides to give me permission to do so- written permission- not a single red cent.

Author's Notes: Kennedy/Andrew friendship-near sibling relationship fiction piece. Kennedy's point of view.

Chapter 1.): Andrew Wells, my brother.

I woke up at about 5:34 am on thanksgiving, darn jetlag- still afflicting me… anyways, no more sleep for me, I can't sleep now or for the rest of the day, took a shower, and wrapped my black long hair in a towel, another one around my chest, this is going to be a 'lust mess' for me, All these girls together in one house- oh, sure, you'd THINK a lesbian would be cool with this, but it interferes with my duty to help defend these young people… Sorry, I am a little irritated about the situation, you see, I Don't want to act on my desires- sure a pretty girl is appealing to look at, but All the Time can interfere with my obligations.

This actually reminds me of a school campout that I had in girl scouts, when I was about fifteen. Some three years before, I had talked my daddy into helping me join, and for my part- I had to restrain myself, it was a challenge, and I actually liked it. *sniff* "I miss him." passed through my mind.

You see, my Jewish girlfriend Really doesn't like thanksgiving, for her; it's a celebration of genocide, I personally agree with her best friend- a certain Buffy Summers, that it's a great celebration, but that's how relationships go; sometimes you disagree, but in the end it's the choice to love eachother that counts!- and I mean platonic., you see, I am officially a Catholic, despite the disagreement between my lifestyle and my beliefs, and one thing that stayed with me is this: {love is a choice!} that's right; you choose to love somebody, and no, I do not mean 'physically' I mean true, platonic love, the kind you would have for a sibling! I mean, I understand her point of view, and love her still and forever, but still, I just wish she could see the beauty of this day.

There is talk of some of Willow's dark deeds, mostly from Willow herself, and her power running amuck, thereby forcing people to fall in love with her, but it just seems too much like superstition to me- the whole thing just doesn't make any sense! First of all, Willow's gentle, no way she'd enslave anybody that way! That's part of her beauty, in fact, her gentleness! I'm the tomboy in our relationship, doesn't mean I'm forceful with her; I love her too! In fact, my favorite activity is to sit up almost all night and talk with her, when we should be in bed asleep. We talk over Everything, in fact, varying topics, from theology to sociology, to genetics, to art, to past friends… anything and everything under the sun! I frankly love it!

Anyways, as soon as I was dressed, it was about 5:50 am, and I was downstairs reading in the living room, on one of the reclining single couches, or whatever they are called, I had borrowed one of Dawn Marie Summers' books a romance/mystery novel of some obscure name (with her permission, of course, I had talked her into letting me do so yesterday, I was sooo bored.), my straight black hair was in a loose ponytail, so it didn't pull on the sides of my head, and risk discomfort in an emergency fight, and I was wearing a blue denim jacket, black shirt, and grey BDUs. My shoes were the sturdy kind, not much like Nina's taste in shoes; she's the one who likes the fancy ones now… Nina is my half-sister, and I will always love her, but we don't always agree.

I had my legs crossed at the thighs (left over right) and the book was in my left hand, I was using my pinky and thumb to hold it open, and flipping through the pages with my right hand, one at a time… but I could only focus about 40% of my attention reserves on this matter, the other 60% kept on focusing in on a certain Andrew Wells, the cook. And to my ultimate surprise: my thoughts were downright sisterly- frankly: I'd die for him, if it came to it!

Anyhow; about that event in girl scouts, I was on a campout, and scared silly that I'd make an impure jerk of myself! I mean, all these attractive girls around, and I just might blow it and kiss one! The thought of what would happen to me if I did that is what kept me from doing so, but still, it was a close call!

Well, as I read the novel, a certain Andrew Wells walked into the room from my right, and all I can think of with about sixty percent of my brain is "I would give up whatever it takes to keep him safe." all the while I knew it was nothing more than a deep platonic love- just as I have for Nina, actually.

At that moment, I actually promised whoever is listening in the next life that I'd be willing to die for him, if that is what it took- a promise I just might be made to verify shortly, if all this talk about something that will devour from beneath us comes true… I suspect it is actually the Devil, nearly everything makes sense with that impression.

I had my own scary encounter with something that might have been that entity a few months ago: I was hiding in my family's safe-room with my mom and little sis, our dad was supposed to join us; but he was caught- then something that looked exactly like George Washington walked into view- but it sure didn't act like the Mr. Washington I recall from U.S. history, at all!- the being acted much more like a certain Al Capone! He (my dad) even refused to even look in our direction, I only realized after the fact that he was protecting me by doing so, for said being could trace his sight trajectory to where we were hiding! I am not sure I want to talk about it much more right now… (the death of my daddy, that is.)

As I returned my attention to my reading of the book I borrowed from Dawn, or, as she's known around here: Dawnie, (to her family and close friends), I found my mind wandering to the topic of Andrew. I knew then that I wanted to do whatever it took to keep him safe; kind of weird that way- usually it is the guy who keeps the girl safe, but I am a tomboy, and I never in my life wanted to be the one who is rescued… I wanted to be the one doing the rescuing!- Whoever it is!

It turns out that taking care of people is fun for me, as is protecting them.

I sighted Andrew and thought "Sure he's sometimes a jerk, but I'd gladly sacrifice my life to save his without a second thought!".