"Scotty." I called across the engineering bay once the warp was working again "Is everything okay? Did you fix it? Is Jim with you?"
I was faced with Spock, Uhura and Scotty all looking at me in despair, the vulcan even having tears in his eyes. They had made the decision to remove Kirks body before I got there to save me the anguish of seeing him in the radiation cabinet as they had.
I froze dead in my tracks, the look n each of their eyes confirming my biggest fear.
"No." I whispered softly "No, no, no."
"Jessica, wait." Uhura started, but I was already running full bolt down to the med bay.
"Doctor McCoy." One of the nurses tapped him on the shoulder.
Bones tore his eyes off his best friends lifeless body to turn around "What?"
"Lieutenant (Last Name) is on her way here." She informed him.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed "Don't let her in, give me a chance to put the body somewhere."
The nurse nodded and ran to the door just quickly enough to see you walking towards her "You can't come in, Doctor McCoys orders." she said.
"Get out of my way." You pushed passed her and other medical assistants blocked your way. They looked sympathetic, everyone knew how much you loved the Captain, but they had to follow orders.
You didn't have time to be kind, not today. You shoved them harshly and sped to where McCoy stood over Jim's body.
You let out a choked sob and Bones turned around "Dammit I told you to keep her out!"
You placed your hand on Kirks cold face, your thumb tracing over his jaw as tears fell down your cheeks. Whenever you tried to open your mouth to speak only sobs came out. Bones wrapped his arms around you and brought you into his chest as a form of comfort, gently stroking your hair as you shook.
James T Kirk was dead, and there was nothing you could do about it.
Your eyes shot open before you lifted your hand to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. You sighed as you realised you had the same nightmare once again. Except it really happened, you really went through that. Only in your sleep, the tribble never shook, they never caught Khan, and Jim never came back.
You looked over to him, relieved to see him alive next to you in your bed. He shifted and mumbled something, obviously disturbed by the lack if you in his arms. His eyes fluttered open to reveal that stunning blue that took your breath away everytime you looked at them.
"You're awake." he stated sleepily, running a hand through his hair.
"Sorry, bad dreams." You said sheepishly.
One look at your face let Jim know exactly what was wrong. He tugged you down into his chest and stroked your hair "C'mon, it's gunna take more than a bit of radiation to kill me." He chuckled softly.
You relaxed immediately in his arms "If it wasn't for Bones and Spock you would be dead."
"Well...Yeah. But it was also my amazing will power." He joked.
You rolled your eyes but smiled and cuddled yourself closer to him "You scared me to death-"
"And Bones had to hold you to stop you from crying over my dead body." Jim finished, earning a smack in the arm.
"Jerk." You sat up slightly, resting your forearms on his chest "I just don't know what I'd do without you."
"Well, you'd be sleeping alone. And the universe would have lost it's most gorgeous man." Jim mused "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"Just-just promise to stay with me for as long as you can." You ran your hand through his hair.
"I can do one better than a promise." He grinned "Let's get married."
You snapped out of your slightly sleepy state to widen yours eyes at him "Are you serious?"
Jim nodded "I was waiting for the right time. Well..maybe this wasn't it but I've been carrying that damn ring in my pocket for a week."
"You got me a ring?" You rolled off him to sit up straight by his side
Jim swung his legs of the bed to reach for his pants that were abandoned somewhere nearby and pulled something from his pocket before flicking on the bedside lamp.
He handed you the small black box "I got it the day after I rose from the dead, after your stopped clinging to me that is." Jim added with a smiled "So, how about it? Will you marry me?"
You stared at him silently for a moment, not debating in your mind on what to say, just taking it in. Your head gave the smallest nod before your face broke into a grin and you wrapped your arms around him "Yes, of course I will."
The next morning you laid in his arms as he gently laced your fingers in and out of his.
"You sure this is what you want?" You said softly, staring at the ring on your fingers as it glinted slightly in the morning light "I mean, it's not exactly in the Jim Kirk MO to get married...Or even have a girlfriend for this long."
"Ah, but I am known for being spontaneous. Now shut up, of course this is what I want." He kissed your forehead.
"And you realise this means forever, right?" You looked up and him. Jim responded by pressing his lips against yours.
"Maybe I want forever." He whispered "It'll be a nice change."
Kirk stopped your nightmares, he also made your dream come true.
