Disclaimer: nothing related to Harry Potter belongs to me

A/n this is the first fanfic I ever posted. My English may be a little weird¡Kbut read and review all the same!!!

¡¥Hi, Harry! ¡¦ Colin called from behind and I give him my as-cheerful-as-it-can-be smile and ¡¥Hi¡¦.

¡¥Hey, Harry!¡¦ Lavender greeted me as we met at the middle of a corridor. Again I greeted her and give her my unwilling smile.

I often wonder how I can still smile. How can I after all that happened? After what happened to Cedric? After what happened to all those who suffered from Voldemort¡¦s reign of terror? I brought HIM back to life. It¡¦s my fault that Voldemort is back to life! So what right do I have to be save in the ground of Hogwarts?

And not to mention how I hate to smile to those whom I don¡¦t want to. I¡¦m really tired of smiling to anyone who comes across my path, and that my smile could never get to the one whom I wanted most, loved most and needed most. I keep thinking of them all the time, yet I never get to know them. I not only want to smile to them, but also touch them and feel their touch on me. Imagine that I could see his proud expression and grins when I fly, and her approving smile just because I do something right. How I long to see their smile only reserved for me, their son! But they are forever gone. Also I long to laugh with him hysterically with him whenever he pulls a spectacular prank, or whenever he tries to act as a father figure. I want to give you my smile to show my love and respect for what you have done for my family and me. I really want to laugh with him, the closest thing to father I can ever have. But he is constantly on the run and we have met each other not more than five times. Is it possible that I can ever get to know the Sirius Black before he went to that prison? Is it possible that he can ever show the carefree smile on those photos of his young to me? I don¡¦t know. I honestly have no idea.

¡¥HARRY!!!¡¦ Someone clapped me real hard on my shoulder. ¡¥What do you think you are doing, Ron? It hurts!¡¦ I turned to my attacker, Ron Weasly, who just shrugged. ¡¥We¡¦ve been yelling to get your attention for ages, Harry. ¡¦ said Hermione Granger, who was walking at my other side, in a slightly irritated voice. I noticed once again that she had several books each with at least a thousand pages in her hands. ¡¥ A bit of light reading, huh?¡¦ I nodded towards the books.

¡¥See? I¡¦ve told you not to borrow so much books from the library at the same time!¡¦ Hermione glared at Ron. ¡¥It¡¦s none of your business, Ron! I¡¦m not like somebody who have no desire to increase his pitiful knowledge!¡¦

¡¥I just what to remind you that you will have read all the books in the library before you graduate!¡¦

¡¥Of course not! Do you know how many books are there in¡K¡¦

Their argument went on and on. I couldn¡¦t help chuckling. That was my first real smile of the day!

¡¥What?¡¦ both of them barked at me after my chuckle.

¡¥Nothing¡KIt¡¦s just that I am so glad that I¡¦ve you two as my friend.¡¦ Seeing their puzzled expression, I burst into laughter.

Thank you, Ron. Thank you, Hermione. I don¡¦t know if I can cope with all these if you have not always stand by my side. I promise I will do everything in my power so that one day we can all smile or laugh with the ones we love and care about.