"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing."
Anais Nin
On the hill she stood facing death. It was better this way, if she was to die than she would not know to pain of losing one of them. Losing one of her family members was pain she couldn't deal with.
"Don't go," Luke pleaded with her. His eyes glazed with fresh tears. "I can fight them off."
"No Luke, it's my destiny. I have to." Thalia told him. She fought her tears and quivering hands. "Just remember, I love you."
She ran towards the battle. It was her destiny. Her fate. Yet a hero's destiny is never anything short of tragic. Her tragedy wouldn't be death. It would be letting down her family. It would be losing him. Her angel, her saving grace.
Or maybe this wasn't her destiny. Thalia didn't feel like a hero. She felt like a coyote in a Sheppard's flock. Always burdened and blamed. And pursued until death.
So if she was an animal, then so let it be. She'll let the gods take her. As long as he is spared. She'd do anything for him.
Finally the fighting was over. Her heart barely was beating. Her blood was every way.
Goodbye angel.
***
An over whelming sense of sleepiness found her.
Is that what Hades is like? She thought. Being dead is like sleeping?
Something must be wrong. Thalia couldn't find a rational answer. A coma, it was possible. That would explain the voices she heard all around her. Still, it didn't feel right. There was something else wrong.
Never once did she try to wake up. She just felt so damn tired. All she wanted to do was sleep. That's it nothing more only sleep. It would be enough. Once she wasn't tired anymore than she would wake up. That was Thalia's plan. Every time she felt conscious she wanted to sleep again. Just a little longer. It will pass, but only if she keeps on sleeping.
Just let me rest.
***
Thalia then knew that she wasn't in a coma. It doesn't rain inside hospitals.
What's happened? If only she wasn't so tired, maybe then she could find out.
I'll find out later, after I can wake.
***
Luke always visited. Even in her sleep she could hear him.
He always murmured sorry. She wanted to tell him it's alright. Just let me get some rest, and I'll manage.
Every visit he seemed to get more bitter. More and more out of character. He was changing into a person she no longer knew. It was like some dark matter took over his mind. Was he under a spell?
Luke would swear to her, that he'd avenge her. Shred Olympus down stone by stone. See the gods at their weakest, and spit in their faces. Hold her father's throat at his sword point, and make him anguish over his lost daughter.
No, Thalia wanted to comply. My father's a dick, yes. But no that's wrong. Get a grip!
Though Thalia was too tired to wake up. She just wanted to sleep.
What was he turning into?
More importantly, what was Thalia turning into? She knew he needed to help. She knew that not even Annabeth could help. Thalia knew that she was the only cure. She was the only that could help.
She wanted to help Luke. After all he was her angel.
As much as she wanted to help, she couldn't. At least not being as tired as she was. What good could she do when all that seemed right was sleeping? Just a few more hours or days, she felt. Then I'll be good and can help.
Just let me sleep for a bit more.
***
She was absolutely sure that this sense of exhaustion was not a coma now.
Monsters don't come after people in hospitals. Boys don't cry for their mom in hospitals.
She recognized one of the voices. One that she was used to hear apologized day after day, Grover. He was moaning.
Not you too.
Thalia could hear Annabeth talking to someone. As much as she wanted to know what was going on. Obviously it was something major happened. As much as she wanted to help. As much as she wanted to wake up. She wanted to sleep.
Sleeping was the only answer. It was her new haven, her sweet escape. A new found glory that was too glorious to refuse when the chance came. The chance was always there. Waiting patiently and always thrilled when she agreed to its terms. It was such a nice paradise.
Hello haven.
***
"Goodbye Thalia this is the last time I'll ever see you." The words stabbed her in the heart and twisted with pain. She wanted to cry, but Thalia was not one of those girls that cried.
"I'm going to get back at the gods, the titans will rise. I will bring you justice!" She heard his footsteps fasten as he raced away.
Goodbye angel, no not angel. Not anymore. Luke was merely a shadow of what used to be an angel.
Finally the comforting lull greeted her. Once again she went unconscious.
Angels are always in sweet dreams.
***
"I'm sorry Thalia," Luke's voice rang her into a somewhat conscious state. What was he doing here? From all the whispers of the voices that passed her stated that he left, just as he told her. He betrayed her. He left Annabeth. Luke broke all of his promises, and it was her fault. At least that's how she felt because she never tried to help him.
Still under all the anger and sorrow, it was good to hear his voice. Over the time she was sleeping it matured. His voice was deeper but still had hints of the one she heard when they were running away together. His voice was good to hear.
"I don't want to do this, but it's the only way." He went on.
Don't, she thought. It wouldn't do any good, but she had tried. That was enough for her. If she tried any harder, she would fall back asleep.
Thalia felt a strange sensation as something started seeping onto to her. She felt… Sick. Like that strange liquid gave her a cold. Like she just came down with the flu. Though she couldn't move or feel her skin, but it felt as though her head was pounding. She still felt dead beat tired, but the inviting sleep was gone. It wasn't there waiting. It completely abandoned her.
"I'm so sorry Thalia." Luke once again told her. She heard his footsteps grow more and more faint.
He was sorry? What did he do? Thalia was viciously anger when she realized what was done.
Her best friend poisoned her.
There was no way he could have been her angel.
He was the devil in disguise.
Yeah, thanks for the memories, Luke.
***
She was writhing in pain. Everything ached; Thalia wasn't even sure what everything was either. Worst of all she felt fatigued and drained of everything. All she wanted to was go back to sleep but couldn't. She was restless. If she could, Thalia would toss and turn until she was finally comfortable but couldn't. She couldn't do a damn thing!
She was trying so hard to get out from this trance. It felt like her body was on fire and being dipped in icy water all at the same time. The pain was unbearable. It just seemed to get worse.
And it was his entire fault.
I thought we were friends.
***
Even the air was harsh. The weather acted as if it understood her throbbing pain.
Everything appeared to feel what she felt. She could hear the monsters come, and the half bloods fight them. They always bumped into her and added to the tenderness.
All she wanted to do was sleep but couldn't. It felt like it had been years since she slept.
Just one last time to sleep, she pleaded. Really anything would be better than the pain.
Anything would be better than the pain.
Even death. Of course whatever state she was in wasn't living.
Take me away, please.
***
She wanted to scream. Yet, there was no voice for her to use. It was killing her, the pain. Well, she wished it was killing her.
Thalia was sure that she wouldn't be put in the fields of punishments, but whatever pain that would be inflicted on her there, would be a walk in the park compared to this.
Unbearable, intolerable, agonizing, excruciating, insufferable, horrendous, dire, unspeakable, distressing, unendurable, severe, piercing; were all not enough to explain how the pain she suffered from felt.
Not to mention she was beyond the grave tired and couldn't find sleep.
Thalia hoped Luke's soul would burn.
Gods help me, no help him.
***
Finally relief. Whatever they put on her made the pain more bearable.
Slowly the achiness subsided. But the sleep didn't return.
Maybe this was how she was going to die. After the hurt came relief. After relief came death.
I never wanted anything more than to see him one last time, even if he did do this.
***
Then the strangest sensation over took her. Not like the poison. It was like she was drifting away from herself. Death, she was finally dying.
No, that was not it. She felt… Solid. Best of all there was no more pain.
She heard a scream and opened her eyes to find a teenaged Annabeth.
Impossible she thought.
Everything started to go blurry.
"Strangest dream." She said, "Dead?" She asked the boy who was right next to her.
"No," He replied, "not dead."
Her head throbbed so much.
The boy looked at her and asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm Thalia daughter of Zeus."
Thalia tried to sit up but was too overwhelmed. So she stopped trying and finally reached her haven again.
Ah, sleep.
***
Panic seized her when she woke. She didn't remember anything except wanting to sleep. She remembered the voices too. They must have been dreams and only dreams. Her angel didn't hurt her. It was just a nightmare.
If only the reality hadn't set in.
"Oh, hey Thalia, you're awake." A girl that bore a striking resemblance to Annabeth but was six years to old said.
In reply Thalia asked a question to which needed to be answered, "Where am I, and who are you?"
The girl in the chair suddenly looked agonized. As if was not a subject she wanted to discuss.
"Well, good news, this is Camp Half-Blood!" She answered, then took a deep breath and continued, "It's me Thales, Annabeth."
Despite the comforting voice of "Annabeth", Thalia went rigid.
Tears filled Annabeth's eyes as she went on. "It's been six years Thalia. You-you-you were a tr-" She threw her head down and sobbed.
"I was a what?" Thalia demanded hastily, despite the fact that she wanted to reach to Annabeth and comfort her, just like she used too.
"A tree, Thalia. You were a tree! Your dad turned you in a tree when your fighting was no longer enough. I'm so sorry-" Annabeth sobbed more, while cutting herself off.
So she was a tree. There was no coma and she was never asleep. This meant the voices that talked to her were real. This meant Luke was gone, which meant her really made her suffer.
"So Luke is..." Thalia began but couldn't find the strength to finish.
"Gone." Annabeth cried.
Thalia shook her head. "No, I know that. He said goodbye, but he did this to me!?!"
"Did what?"
"The pain hurt so badly, Annabeth, it nearly killed me." Thalia spoke.
"Luke, he's messed up right now. Kronos is playing his mind, but we save him." Annabeth said a little hopefully.
Thalia just sunk back into the bed. She entirely doubted Annabeth's plan. Part of her wanted it to be true, but a larger part didn't want to be let down again.
He was gone and would never be the same. Even if he was saved.
Her Luke was no more.
Was he ever mine?
***
Life went on.
Camp Half Blood was a nice place. She could see why Grover wanted her to be here. She had friends. She was a great fighter. She was safe from monsters. She was free to do whatever she wanted. She was absolutely miserable.
Thalia felt like she should be doing more. Everyone was strangely at ease with the coming war. She wasn't, she was always on edge. Waiting to him to appear, that what she wanted. Thalia wanted Luke to show up. She wanted to give him a piece of her mind, tell him off, fight him, but most of all she wanted to hug him.
Thalia missed Luke, but whoever this person the campers talked about wasn't the Luke she knew.
Whatever, it's not like I ever wanted to fall in love.
***
He never showed. He never mentioned her in the dreams she had of him. Well, more accurately nightmares.
It's like I never existed.
***
She was leader. They were all supposed to listen to her. If Percy listened they wouldn't be in this mess. There would be no damn hunters. Most importantly, there would be Annabeth. She would still be here.
Thalia's heart never felt right anymore, but taking Annabeth away, made it feel worse.
It was all Percy's fault! How could he do this? Who would have done this? The answer was simple enough too. Thalia would have done the same thing. That's why she can't hate Percy; hating him would be like hating herself. They were just too close to being the same exact person, not in like a soul mate way. He just understood all the pressure she felt, and all the horrible decisions to make.
She still resented him. It would be easier for him; he never knew the pain of losing Luke, and she did. She shouldn't be the hero of Olympus. She'd never hurt Luke even after what he did to her. She wouldn't want the pain of losing him. No one would be able to understand it. No one ever would. Not even Annabeth.
Oh gods she needed Annabeth. Annabeth could sort of relate to Thalia. Only Annabeth hadn't lost hope yet. Thalia had. She didn't want to, but she had.
What I'd give to have him back.
***
"Yield." Thalia told him, "You could never beat me." The chances are most of the time he let her win. That was when he loved her.
Baring his teeth, he sneered, "We'll see old friend."
Thalia was amazed that he could hold a sword. He looked so broken, and that broke her.
Though for someone so weak looking he still fought better than before.
Luke cowered and winced at her shield. Thalia manipulated the lightning; making it cackle while they fought. He kept pressing her and moved quickly.
Thalia battled the tears in her eyes more than she battled Luke. He kept getting close and closer to the edge of the cliff. She moved around the golden coffin, not wanting anything to do with it. She feinted with her spear and lunged. It should have hit his sword so he would drop it. Instead her spear missed the sword, and impaled him in the chest. He howled in pain but kept pressing.
Hurting him hurt her just as much.
Luke made his mistake when he lounged his sword at her. Out of complete instinct with too much force, threw her Aegis over her. His sword clattered on to the ground.
As quick as she could, she held her spear to his throat. This was not how she wanted it to end.
"Well?" Luke said. He was trying to be brave but Thalia knew the fear in his eyes.
She was tremoring with fear? No, fury. She was pissed at Luke. He made do this to him. What kind of friend does that? As much as she didn't want to admit it, he was a traitor. He needed to be destroyed, but not by her.
Thalia felt Annabeth scramble near her. She looked awful. Her clothes and hair were tattered. There was a new grey streak in her hair that didn't belong. Various cuts and bruises were scattered through her arms and face.
"Don't kill him!" She shrieked. After what he did to her, all the torture through the past week, and Annabeth still had hope. That still made Thalia jealous.
Thalia shook her head. She knew the truth. "He's a traitor. A traitor."
Yet Annabeth wouldn't give up hope. "We'll bring Luke, to Olympus. He… He'll be useful."
"Is that what you want Thalia?" Luke taunted, "To go back to Olympus in triumph? To please your dad?"
Her already dazed self thought about it. That is what she wants. She wants to drag him to Olympus. Show the counsel what she single handedly did. No one would question her. She would be thought of as powerful and would be respected.
What would they do to him? Destroy him. As much as she hated what he had become. She didn't want her great feat to end with a tragedy.
So she was hesitant to answer.
Luke on the other hand played his most desperate card. He tried to grab her spear.
She heard Annabeth scream, "No!"
Too late she already kicked him away.
Her heart faltered, as she saw the man left for dead on the jagged rocks.
Almost instantly her tears tumbled down her cheeks. She could move after what she had done.
Now it's me. I'm the devil in disguise. What have I become?
***
Thalia joined the hunt because she needed a stable family. Her first family; her mom, never worked out. Thalia's second family; Luke and Annabeth, had been destroyed. She wanted it to have worked out, but it didn't. So she joined the hunt, at least some of them knew how she felt. There was someone that used too, but she's dead and gone now.
It was time to cut her losses. Unlike Annabeth she was no longer hopeful. Luke was gone, not dead gone, but gone. He would never be hers. She didn't want what he was now, and there was no going back. There will always be what ifs, but she could live with that.
Sorry angel. At least we'll have our memories.
***
Least to say she wasn't exactly shocked when she found out Kronos possessed Luke's body. It was rather disturbing but not shocking. Luke was a monster now. He would do anything for his side to win. He had even tried to kill her when she was a tree.
She missed her friend. In all likely hood he probably didn't miss her. It's not like he stayed up crying about her.
When all is said and done, what do you want me to do?
***
She was scouting on patrol when the bushes started to rustle. Instantly she had her bow ready.
"Easy, easy. I'm under a truce here." Out of the bushes came Luke.
Of course, anything to ruin my day, she thought.
"Luke, what do you want?" She asked. It was nice to see him again but it was all too superficial. She still hadn't lowered her bow.
He met her eyes. "I want you to run away with me. Just like old times. Me, you, and Annabeth." He smiled a warm smile. So she lowered her bow.
She wanted accept, but she knew it was impossible."No, Luke."
His smile faded. "Thalia please, I need you. I'm sorry-"
"Sorry?" She snapped at him. "It's a little late for sorry, Luke."
His face twisted in pain. "I know I should have not poisoned your tree."
She rolled her eyes. "Not exactly what I was thinking, but that is a good point. Do you have any idea, the pain it caused?" Thalia was finally relieved to let all her anger.
"You were in pain?" He asked and the pain on his face doubled.
"Like you wouldn't believe." She confirmed.
"I'm so sorry, I had no idea." He answered, obviously in sheer agony over the situation.
She shook her head. "It's too late to be sorry, Luke. Go back to the titans, you don't belong here."
She tried turning away but her grabbed her hands.
"I thought you loved me." He said.
"And I did love you. I love who you were not who you are now." She answered, feeling almost as guilty as he did.
Thalia shared the same tears that filled his eyes.
"I still love you Thalia."
Ah, so her angel did love her.
"Listen Luke, I… I can't love you."
"You can just forget the hunt, forget everything. We can start on a clean slate." He comforted.
As much as it tore at her heart to say this she did.
"It's not the hunt, Luke, it's you. I don't know you anymore. You are my enemy."
"No Thalia, please, I can't let you go."
"You have to Luke. It's the only way."
"Thalia-"
"Goodbye, Luke. Leave Annabeth out of this. I'm afraid she too much faith in you. She might actually listen" She dropped his hands and walked away. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do and wanted to run back into his arms. She wanted to stay with him forever. Walking away was the right choice. So doing the right is always the hardest thing.
She finally had to let go. Loving someone enough to let them go, wasn't the hardest thing. Letting someone go that you loved, and having to fall out of love with them was.
There are no words to describe how much I want him.
***
Shit! The damn statue fell on her. Fuck you statue.
She could hear everything that was going on. The way Luke was trying to take control over Kronos. When Annabeth told Percy to take the knife. All of it.
Heart wrenching enough, she heard him die. She wanted to die right along with him. It was just seemed wrong to live in a world without him.
At least he proved to be a hero; her angel.
Angels aren't supposed to be murdered or turn bad. Her angel was an angel and would always be an angel.
Angels don't die, they live in your heart forever.
***
She even cried at his funeral.
There will always be Elysium.
***
This is where she exists today. She is a hunter, and most likely will be for a very long. Nothing can last forever though. One day she will die, and she will see her angel again. Not the monster he became, or the villain he tried to be. He would be the angel she loves.
Until then, he will always live in her heart.
Right now it is night, her favorite time. Now Thalia can return to her haven.
Ah sleep. I wish to dream of my angel.
A/N: Well I hope you like. Written for PJO_battle_fic on Livejournal.
Important Announcement: In honor of one hundred pages of Percy Jackson FanFiction, I will write an oneshot for first three people to ask. Just include the pairing and any special details that you would like to see!
-Bianca-
