This prompt was by far the weirdest I've had, and yet I couldn't help but want to take on the challenge. "What would happen if House barged in when Cuddy was getting a laser hair removal treatment on her bikini area?" Well, that's quite easy…smut and fun!

This is dedicated to my friend Aya.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not connected with Shore or show.

Laser Attraction

"Okay, Dr. Cuddy," the nurse said. "We'll let the anesthetic cream sit for a few minutes and then Tricia will be in to do your treatment."

"Thank you," Cuddy answered, and placed the ear buds from her iPod into her ears. This was her sixth laser hair removal treatment. She knew the routine, and used this down time as an opportunity to relax, to forget about the stress and demands of the hospital. Increasing the sound, she closed her eyes and relaxed as much as the small clinic table would allow, and tuned out the world.

This was how House found her.

He'd followed her to the clinic on the other side of town, determined to discover the juicy details of her secret appointment. Who would have believed he'd hit this jackpot with this discovery?

Laser hair removal! He wanted to laugh. He remembered the fun of the rumor he'd started about her being a man who'd had a sex change. As if anyone believed it! She was beautiful. And sexy. She was all woman in every way, and there wasn't anyone in the hospital who thought different. But it was an annoying piece of gossip to endure.

She'd taken it in stride, tossing out dry comments and sarcastic responses to his remarks, but he could tell it aggravated her. Now he could torment her even more by adding the juicy details about her mustache…or her beard!

It had been easy to slip undetected into the interior of the clinic. He'd simply followed behind the employee as she'd been distracted talking to Cuddy. The front desk receptionist had been so focused on the client standing at the check-in window she hadn't even noticed he'd entered the waiting room, much less the exam room.

He'd been hiding around the corner from her room, waiting for his opening to reveal himself to Cuddy. Seeing the nurse leave the room, House grinned. His time had come.

He felt the thrill of the game, the excitement of the hunt come over him. This was going to be fun. Not only was he about to get great fodder for harassment, she would be embarrassed. And an embarrassed Cuddy was easy to manipulate.

First things first. He needed to let her know he was in on her little secret. He needed to revel in her humiliation as he relentlessly teased her.

With one last peek around the corner, House crept down the hall and slipped quietly into the exam room.

"The bearded woman of PPTH," he emulated the voice of a carnival conductor as he closed the door and turned to face her. "Step right up and see the Freak…"

House came to an abrupt halt, frozen in place with shocked, wide eyes.

Cuddy was on the clinic table, naked from the waist down, the only thing covering her, a small patch of cream spread over her bikini area.

She let out a shocked screech. He gasped for air.

"House!" she gulped, turning her body away from him. There were towels on the counter on the opposite side of the room, and her clothes were in the chair in the corner. There was a robe hanging on the door, but House stood in the way of her getting to it. There was nowhere to hide, and nothing to do but turn away. As if turning her ass to him would make any difference! His wandering eyes were already taking everything in.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

House tilted his head as he stared at her bare ass. Good God, she was hot. And that was by far the best looking ass he'd ever seen.

He grinned lecherously. "This is my lucky day."

Cuddy glared at him over her shoulder.

"Hand me that robe behind you," she demanded.

House shook his head, his eyes continuing to rake over her with more lust than amusement. "Not a chance, Cuddy," he said, stretching his neck to try to get a glimpse over her hips to the view she was hiding. He'd only gotten a glimpse, but that glimpse had been heaven.

"This isn't funny, House."

"No," he agreed. "It's not."

His eyes sparkled with devilment as he stepped forward toward her.

"Don't you dare come any closer!" She said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Cuddy," he sighed. "You're in no position to make demands."

Her eyes were fiery with anger, her mouth set in determination. "On the other hand," he grinned. "With another glimpse of a certain creamy delight, I may be willing to do anything you ask."

If looks could kill, he would be incinerated. She was furious. He was turned on.

It wasn't unusual for him to feel stimulated in her presence, but seeing her partially naked would give any man wood. Being on the receiving end of her passion – even if it was angry – well, let's just say it sent him well beyond lift-off.

"You are a son-of-a-bitch," she said.

"Yes," he was still grinning, and as hard as he tried he couldn't stop moving his eyes over her, from her fiery eyes and flushed face, over the breasts that pushed against her satin blouse and the shapely hips that curved into the most amazing legs he'd ever dreamed of wrapping around him.

"Stop acting like a pervert and hand me that robe," she bit at him. "Better yet, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

"No can do," he said and sat down on the rolling stool near the laser machine.

"I'm going to call security," she hissed.

"Your phone's in your purse," he preened. "And your purse is over there." He used his cane to point to the corner of the room.

"I'm going to scream."

His suggestive smile was borderline erotic. "Oh, I'd love to make you scream."

Cuddy froze.

Oh hell no! She thought. I am not getting turned on.

But clearly she was. She suddenly didn't care that she was half naked in a laser clinic or that her nemesis had her in a position to strike a most embarrassing blow. All she could think about was wet kisses, a scruffy beard along her skin and hungry caresses too long denied. What was worse? He knew it.

His smile had transformed into that knowing grin that was as irritating as it was sexy. He was sexy. Damn him! Why did he have to be so sexy? Why did those blue eyes have to be so clear and full of want? It was as if he was devouring her with just…

Wait a minute!

Cuddy searched his eyes, saw the slight tremble in his lower lip, followed the flush along his neck, noticed the tautness in his arms and chest, and finally raised a brow at the bulge in his jeans. Somewhere over the last few minutes she'd lost sight of her anger. She'd stopped being aware of anything except the blood pounding through her veins, the wetness between her thighs and the need to have more than just his eyes on her. As her eyes explored every inch of him, she felt an overwhelming sense of feminine power come over her.

He was taunting her, teasing her in his way that bordered on torment, but he couldn't hide from the truth. He wanted her. Desperately, if she was reading him right. Cuddy gave him a saucy grin. Who had the upper hand now?

"What do you want, House?" It would have been a simple inquiry if she hadn't slowed down her words and lowered her tone into a seductive drawl.

He swallowed hard. She tamped down the butterflies that took flight in her stomach.

She could see him rallying his internal strength, weighing his options, realigning his plan and formulating a new attack.

No can do, House. She ran her hand along her bare hip, drawing his eyes to the movement of her hand, and increasing the discomfort of his pants if the subtle adjustment of his stance was an indicator.

He jerked his eyes away from her and looked up at the ceiling.

"Let's see," he said, squinting one eye as if considering his options. "I could take a photo with my phone and change the course of the next board meeting."

Cuddy kept her expression still.

"Or I could take a video!" He smiled widely. "You'd go viral on YouTube."

She sat up slightly and propped herself up on her elbows, her hips still turned away from him. It was a good thing she did yoga. This position could be uncomfortable.

"Is that really what you want to do, House?" She asked with a perfect mix of innocence and seduction. "You want to waste this moment on boyish pranks?"

He swallowed again. His Adam's apple gave so much away!

"These 'boyish pranks' can wield a lot of power," he said.

"They can also keep you from what you really want," she immediately answered.

"And what's that, Cuddy?"

She puckered her lips slightly and looked at him through hooded eyes. "To watch."

His cane almost popped out from beneath his tightened grip.

She straightened her hips and curled her legs up to obscure his viewing pleasure, much to his dismay.

"How 'bout we make a wager?"

His brow arched. "A wager?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "A bet."

He was looking at her legs. "Go ahead," he said.

"I'll let you watch the laser treatment," she explained. "No camera. No phone. No Video or sound recording."

His eyes became wide, and he licked his lips in a Pavlovian response. "Uh, huh," he uttered. "What's the catch? I don't hear a bet in this scenario."

"You can't respond."

Was she crazy?

"Are you crazy?" He asked.

She laughed.

"I may be a son-of-a-bitch, but I'm a healthy man with a healthy sex drive," he said. "In case you missed that part in anatomy, men can't always control an erection!"

This conversation should not be so stimulating.

"I'm not talking about an erection."

She was playing him. He could see it in her eyes, in the calmness of her suggestion and the ease of her voice. She was half naked in front of him and he was the nervous wreck! How'd she do that?

"You can't say a word," she said. "You can't groan, or sigh, or touch yourself. You can't ask for a different angle, or more skin, or comment on what you see. And most importantly, you can't touch me."

That's what she thinks! There was an out for every detail, and a way around every bet. He'd never found a game he couldn't win. A game with naked Cuddy? That was a game he would win at all cost!

Cuddy bit back her excitement. He was already considering how he'd get around the bet, his plan of attack. He was an idiot. He was brilliant, and reckless, and the sexiest man she knew. And Lisa Cuddy was about to take him down. While he was figuring out how to sink her battleship, she was setting a play in motion that would result in a win for her no matter what direction the game turned.

"What do I get when I win?"

Cuddy grinned at his use of "when".

"What do you want?"

Oh, this is too easy! House thought.

"It has to stay between us," she added. "It can't have anything to do with the hospital, employees, patients, or anyone connected with the hospital."

"Not a problem," he said, and leaned oh so arrogantly on his cane. He knew exactly what he wanted.

"I want a lap dance."

"Pffft," she shrugged. "You get that down at Cheetah's all the time. That's the best you can do?"

"I want a lap dance from you," he corrected. "Wearing an outfit of my choosing. Performed in your home. To the music of your choice."

Cuddy stared at him, imagining what he was requesting, and a little shaken with the knowledge that this must be a regular fantasy of his for him to have been so quick with the details.

"And I can respond," he added.

Her laugh came out in a snort.

They stared at each other. Something shifted in the air between them. This was so much more than a challenge, or a battle of wits. This was about the sexual tension that had been radiating between them for years.

"What is it you want?" He asked. "Not that you'll win, but I'm willing to hear you out."

"Impressive sportsmanship."

"I'm all about playing fair."

Cuddy laughed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. Pretending to consider her options, she ran her finger along her lips. His eyes followed the movement, and Cuddy felt another surge of power.

"Dinner," she said. "My choice of place and meal."

House stared at her, stunned. He was almost speechless. Almost. When was House ever really speechless?

"Dinner?"

"Yes," she said. "Dinner. A meal of my choosing at the place of my choosing."

House knew there was more to it than met the eye. She was probably planning to have him take her to some high-end, obnoxiously expensive restaurant with pompous waiters and portions as small as Wilson's testicles.

There was a stirring on the opposite side of the door, and House realized the gig was about to be up. No way was he about to pass this up. It was one crazy bet, with the best reward he'd had in years.

"Deal," he said. And the door opened behind him.

"Oh," the technician said, shocked to see a man in the room.

"It's okay," Cuddy rushed to say. "He's staying."

The technician looked at Cuddy with a puzzled frown, but then nodded in acceptance.

"You'll need to sit over there," the technician pointed to the chair in the corner.

House didn't say a word, but simply walked over to the chair, stretched his legs in front of him and crossed them at the ankles. Of all the times for him to learn to follow directions well!

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him. He kept a straight face, but his eyes were laughing. He was such an ass! So sure of himself. So arrogant. So sure he had the upper hand.

As the doctor prepared the equipment, Cuddy lay back down on the table and turned her head to look at House. This was it! With a sexy wink, she very slowly lowered her legs, fully away of the angle that would allow him a view that would pack the most punch.

Funny how quickly that laugh in his eyes shifted to raw lust. She wished it only affected him, that she possessed the power and control not to want him. But when his eyes darkened and his pupils dilated, when the pulse in his throat became visible and that flush from his collar to neck went from pink to dusk, it was a shot of sexual adrenaline right through her veins.

House couldn't take his eyes off her. The technician was applying the gel along a slight hairline, marking the area to be treated. Not that there appeared to be much to be treated. He should have guessed. She was too structured and controlled to let her pubic hair grow untouched, but she was too wild and untamed to go for smooth or a small Brazilian line. She had a landing strip. And from this angle, he had a clear view of just where he'd like to land. He had a clear view of where he'd like to touch, and taste, and make his home.

The technician began to use the laser on Cuddy, sliding the laser along her skin and slowly zapping.

Oh my God! She almost groaned. Maybe she hadn't thought things through. In her insane quest to trip-up House, she'd forgotten all about the intense sensations of the experience.

"Are you ok?" Tricia asked.

OK? Hell, no she wasn't okay. The cold gel had awakened her nerve endings, and the warm, pinching zap was shocking her sensitive flesh. On a normal day, this would be a simple aggravation, but today, with the complete and total awareness of unwavering, focused blue eyes on her, she could almost feel the gel relieving the strong pulsation at her cleft. The pulse matched the pounding that was increasing with the tension and release rising like a tide in her core.

"Dr. Cuddy?"

Had she groaned out loud? Please God, no!

"Fine," she finally responded, her voice deep and soft. She glanced over at House expecting to catch that insufferable expression of his that would signify he'd seen her response, and gasped at what she saw.

Desire. Raw desire

It wasn't just lust. That couldn't even begin to describe the unadulterated want reflected in his face and permeating from his body. There was a sense of awe intermingled with raw masculine sexual response. It was as if he worshipped her as much as he craved her. She'd never see such transparency in him. It made her feel alive, so aware of every nuance, every movement in the air, every molecule of energy that passed between them.

Cuddy watched as be breathed deep, his nostrils flaring like an animal that'd caught the scent of his prey. She felt her heart race, her nipples pucker, her skin grow hot from the acute physical response she sought to keep at bay. And the moisture grew between her legs.

House could smell her. Cuddy's scent. It overpowered the antiseptic cleansers and analgesic creams. It was thick, and musky, and blended with the mild perfume of her coconut lotion, the wildflower of her shampoo and the tangy freshness of whatever else she wore that gave her that distinctive fragrance that was all her. Exotic, wild, yet beautifully reserved. It was characteristic scent of Lisa Cuddy mixed with subtle pheromones and the perfume of desire. It left him acutely aware of every sexual response pounding throughout his body. It was her smell that was driving him crazy with need, and he couldn't stop breathing her in.

The ache in his pants had become more of a pulsating throb. His balls were heavy and the zipper pressed against him was actually painful. He was going to lose the bet. Dammit! There was no way he could sit still; no way he could endure this level of torture.

House looked up at her, catching her eye. What he saw sent him over the edge. She wanted him too.

With soft groan, he sat up in the chair, turning slightly to the side so he was partially hidden by the counter, and he touched himself.

Cuddy felt the technician glance at her, but she pretended to ignore it. Tricia was being gracious in allowing House in the room, especially when she must certainly know he was taking care of a hard-on as she zapped her! It should be embarrassing, humiliating even, but she was too distracted by the vision of House. She wanted that to be her hand. She wanted to touch him, to feel him, to take his prick out of his jeans and go down on him right there in the clinic.

"All finished," Tricia said, and began cleaning the gel from the wand and pushing away from the table. "I'll see you at your next appointment unless you have any problems. Take your time getting dressed. You were the last appointment today."

Cuddy could barely respond. She must have said the right thing; Tricia didn't seem to notice that both House and Cuddy currently existed on another plane of existence. Or if she did, she didn't give any indication. Thank God. She knew when this fog that was all sex and House lifted she would be mortified at her behavior and reaction.

Nervously watching the doctor leave, Cuddy waited for her to close the door behind her to look at House. This little game had gone so far beyond a bet or a power play. It was dangerous, and hot, and she wished she hadn't demanded he not respond. She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Not that he'd ever tell her, but if he weren't so focused on winning the bet, on not responding to his obvious arousal, she might catch a glimpse of his passion…a passion that matched her own.

She sat up on the table, going through the usual motions. She took the tissue that Tricia had handed her before leaving, and slowly wiped the gel from her skin.

"Let me," he whispered with a desire ladened rasp.

She hadn't heard him get up, hadn't known he'd come to stand beside her until he'd spoken and touched her hand. Cuddy looked up at him then.

His eyes didn't leave her as he used the tissue to remove the gel, gently rubbing and dabbing in a slow and sensual motion. She was soaked and completely losing control. This had to end or she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She was going to jump him!

"You lose," she said, reminding him of the wager.

But then his mouth was on her, his tongue devouring her. He'd tossed the tissue aside to free his hands, grabbed her by the thighs and spread her wide. With a quick move, he stepped between her legs and pulled her against him.

Cuddy moaned into his mouth, her tongue sparring with his as her hands began a desperate exploration of his shoulders, chest and abdomen.

His hands were all over her, tugging at her hair, sliding along her back, cupping her breasts, pinching and pulling on her nipples. He was tearing at her blouse and pushing up her bra. She'd pulled off his shirt, and jerked at his jeans. By the time he cupped her ass and pulled her up to straddle him, she was so desperate to feel him inside her she was biting on his neck and shoulder, growling in need. She wrapped her legs around him and jerked her hips toward him.

He entered her with one thrust and they both gasped, staring at each other in wonder. The connection was profound. She wanted to savor it; he never wanted it to end. She needed to feel his friction; he needed to move, to pound into her.

They started to move simultaneously. He thrust into her, she sought to receive him. He pulled out and she cried out for more. They were wild for each other, desperately seeking the release that had been building for the past few minutes…the past few years!

"Yes," she cried out. "Yes!"

House felt her walls contract around him as she began to tighten and tremble. He pulled her legs up a little higher and seeded himself deep within her. They both cried out in ecstasy, holding tight to each other as the waves of their mutual orgasm broke free.

They held each other close as their breathing returned to normal and their vision returned. House brushed light kisses along her hair, her temple and along her jaw before whispering in her ear. "I think I love you."

Cuddy smiled.

"About that dinner," she whispered, subtly reminding him he'd lost the bet. "You're the main course."