Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, sadly.

The inspiration for the story stems from the fact that I adore Zoro, and I view myself as a feminine version of Sanji, minus the eyebrows and smoking. My very first fanfiction, and I genderbend a character, go figure. Review please, so I'll be motivated to post more. (-:

Z=Zoro, S=Sanji

This is a revamp, correcting some silly mistakes.


Z:
She irritates me. Everything about her is annoying. All she does is gawk, cook, and literally kick ass. That was her power: a kick on steroids that hurts like hell. That irritating cook just woke me up.

"You bastard! All you do is sleep and end up getting lost at every island we go to, at least help with the sails, Marimo!" She snarled.
"Shut up, Eyebrows! At least I don't look stupid gaping at every bishounen at every island!"

She and I always managed to have these call-outs and staredowns. Towards the end we were usually just furrow-browed and growling at each other because we ran out of words.

"Zoro! Sanji! Stop fighting! Both of you are useless if you're gonna fight each other instead of paying attention," Nami shouted at us. It was true though, so I reluctantly retreated to go help with the sails. We were leaving Water 7, where Luffy managed to recruit a shipwright-hentai named Franky. All he wore was an opened Hawaiian shirt and panties. We were all tired and sentimental, since just lost our Going Merry, but Franky went to extremes to build our Thousand Sunny with some special wood, and it looks like a grand addition to our crew. Luffy had a way of changing people's hearts, despite the dumbass he is, and Franky was an example of that. In fact, we all are. Because of him, I went from pirate hunter to pirate, Nami went from pirate thief and hater to a loyal straw-hat, Usopp sacrificed his title of captain, Chopper stopped fearing people and joined us, Sanji went from restaurant "heir" to straw-hat cook, and Robin gained a will to live as one of us. Not to mention every island we've been to changed drastically once we arrived. We all respect him (and mourn his idiocy) for his character and charisma.

I finished up with the sails, and realized that due to the recent fight with the cook, I probably wasn't getting any food, so instead I'll sleep.


S:
That bastard! He dozed off again, this time just outside the kitchen. Doesn't he know I won't feed him in this mood? Well, I feel pretty tired myself. Enies Lobby and the incredible partying took all I got. At least we were at sea again, heading towards Fishman Island, the new place where the log post pointed. Apparently it's underwater, so I have no clue how we're going to get there, but knowing Luffy and Nami, we'll manage.

"Uwoooaaahh! That's cool, Franky! What else can you do?" Luffy and Chopper were starry-eyed and in awe of our new cyborg-hentai nakama. If only he was handsome, then I wouldn't mind the hentai side of him. Anyways, I better cook up something to prepare us for the journey. I walked into the kitchen to check our meat supply, and all I could do was sigh. Our crew had eight people, but ate like eight hundred men, mostly because of Luffy. There was plenty if sake, though, meaning we'll have at least one happy crew member, even though that Marimo doesn't deserve it.

"Gomu Gomu Stamp!"

"Strong right!"

"Onigiri!"

When did he wake up? What the hell was going on. I rushed out to see what the commotion was and quickly realized I needed to prepare for a feast. Finally, we had a decent amount of meat from a sea monster.

"Sanji! Can you cook whatever the hell this is for us?" Luffy asked, drooling and smiling like a dumbass.

"I can cook anything!" I replied with a smile just as big and idiotic. Wasn't I mad a moment ago? Oh, well. Any crew under Luffy can't stay unhappy for long. "Bring in the meat!" I shouted then made my way to the kitchen. I think I'll make soumen with whatever the hell this fish was.


Z:
"Whoo, I'm stuffed! That was a tasty sea monster. Time for sake!" I patted my belly. I guess Sanji was good for the crew once you get past how irritating she can be. Maybe all that time between each cigarette turned her mood sour.

"It's a good thing back at Water 7, they gave us more sake than food," Sanji brought out the bottles of sake, and frankly, it was too much to carry. There was a bottle in each hand along with three in each of her arms which threatened to fall from competing for space with her body... Wait...

"Here we go! Can't have spilled sake everywhere!" I grabbed four bottles and handed three of them out before sitting back down by the mast. After I sat down and looked back I saw a strange look on Sanji's face as she handed out the rest. Was her face a little red?

"Haha, Zoro's love for sake knows no end," Usopp laughed.

"Yup! Sake is the best in the world!" I took a swig of the best tasting fluid in the world to hide the fact that I was turning red. Curse my face, why did it choose to turn red? Why did I even help Sanji? Normally, if she dropped it, I would've shouted at her. At least everyone was drinking, so no one noticed my expression. I hope. Only me, Nami, Robin, and Sanji wouldn't get drunk so easily. Wait, where'd Sanji go? Meh, she's probably lighting one up.

This is a good party, the first night in celebration of our Sunny. Thanks to Franky, we have a great ship, now it's time to drain the night away...


S:
It takes a lot of sake to get Nami down, but even she had to join the knocked-out bunch.

"Fufufu, last drunkard down." Robin joined me in watching the crew from above the cabin.

"Yeah, that woman can hold her liquor." Robin was fairly quiet and very observative, but her sense of humor is... demented. Sometimes she says the weirdest things. At least she was good at gathering information.

"I haven't properly thanked all of you. You guys gave me a reason to live, even though we declared war on the world."

"Haha don't worry about it, you gave us your friendship and we gave you another chance at life. It's a fair trade if you ask me."

She smiled, and for a moment, we just watched our nakama sleep. Luffy, Chopper, and Franky slept equally ridiculously. They had snot bubbles and snore; it was cute, in a grotesque sort of way. Nami slept sprawled on her back, the result of too much drinking. Usopp was pretty peaceful, although face down. His nose will hurt tomorrow. Zoro was wasted, but for some reason, he managed to stay sitting up against the mast, arms crossed. In perspective, he was the only normal looking guy we had, aside from his three swords and striking handsomeness. Now that I think about it, he was pretty built, tall, and masculine. Damn, I can't start thinking about that bastard as hot. No. Not even after he actually helped me for once. Damn Marimo can't change on me like that.

"You've been staring over there for quite a while," I completely forgot Robin was here.

"Really? Zoning out is really unconventional." Lies. Lies from the depths of hell, you fool.

"Fufufu. I'm going to go to sleep."

"I should, too."