Name: Because You Loved Me

Plot: After Deans death at the claws of a werewolf, Sam struggles to survive while Castiel finds a way to bring Dean back, while keeping Sam alive.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I owned Jared though, hes fucking hot. Jensens alright too...I guess.

Chapter 1: I Will Remember You


It had been months, months since his heart and soul had been ripped out. Months since his single reason for living had been ripped away from him, taken before his time. Months since Castiel had told him he'd try his best to bring Dean back. It'd been months since Sam had a proper meal...or shower for that matter. He did nothing but hunt, driving himself into the ground and when he wasn't trying to get himself killed by the supernatural he was drinking his life away just to remember, just to hear Deans voice.

Pulling into the parking lot of a local bar Sam killed the engine to the Impala, the only thing he gave a damn enough to take care of, to maintain. He could care less if he fell over dead, or got an infection but he'd be damned if Dean came back and he had neglected the one thing Dean loved besides him. Pushing the door open, he pulled the keys from the ignition and slowly pushed himself out of the car, stumbling as he shut the car door behind him. His green eyes were glazed over, his hair oily and sticking together. He didn't care what he looked like, he had no reason to look like he should. He shoved the car keys into his pocket, his hand closing around his phone tighter and he slowly moved into the bar, ignoring how people moved the fuck outta his way.

Slowly he made his way to the bar and sat on one of the bar stools, far away from the other people. Whenever someone looked at him they were greeted with the worlds coldest glare, and after a few moments they'd look away. He didn't have to wait long, before the bar tender walked up to where he was sitting. "What can I get ya?" He asked, to which Sam replied gruffly. "Whiskey." The bar tender seemed to eye him for a few moments before he snorted "I think you're already wasted enough Son." Sam knew he reeked of alcohol and B.O But he didn't give a fuck. "If you were going to deny me a drink why'd you waste both our time asking?" Sam snarled back to the man, his cold stare meeting the mans who blanched at the emptiness in those eyes. He glanced around before reaching down for the shot glasses, and poured Sam the drink. "Only one. What happened to you boy?" The bar tender asked as he slid the glass to Sam. "My reason for living died." Sam said with slightly less hostility, and went to pay the man. The bar tender shook his head "On the house."

Sam knew before he heard the mans voice, that Castiel had arrived to ruin his evening fun with his lecturing. "Fuck off Castiel." He snarled. "Is that anyway to speak to a friend Samuel?" Castiel asked settling himself on the bar stool near Sam, ignoring the cool glare he was getting that most would say 'if looks could kill' in reference to. "A friend wouldn't be sitting on their ass when they could be rectifying a situation!" Sam snarled before he snatched the shot glass full of whiskey off the bar and downed it in one go, slamming the glass back down. "Thanks." He said curtly to the bar tender before he stood and moved towards the exit of the bar, knowing well enough that Castiel would follow.

They walked out to the Impala and Sam rounded on Castiel, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well?" He asked, raising a brow. "Sam...Destroying yourself isn't going to bring Dean back..." "I know that Castiel! But you said you'd bring him back, you told me you would! Its been months Cas..MONTHS!" "I said I'd try Samuel, and I'm well aware how long it has been." "Then why haven't you fucking done it yet!" "Because I'm having to watch you! To keep you from becoming a monster!" Those words caused Sam to buckle, his knees to give way and eyes to glaze over even more.

"I'm the only one who can do this, Dean." At this Dean turned around, anger being the strongest emotion expressed, along with the hurt. "No your not going to be the one to do this." "Right thats right I forgot, the angels think its you" He snapped, his anger getting the better of him. Why couldn't Dean just understand? Deans eyebrows rose as his eyes narrowed "You don't think I can?" "No you cant." Okay so that was probably the wrong thing to say, defiantly considering how this just seemed to piss Dean off more. Yet he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "Your not strong enough." "And who the hell are you?" "I'm being practical here, i'm doing what needs to be done." "Yea? Your not going to do a single damn thing." Dean replied in the same tone he always used when giving orders. Sams anger spiked and he spat back "Stop bossing me around Dean!" Sucking in a deep breath he tried to reign in his anger. This was dean, his big brother... the guy he loved. He was just trying to protect him, but Sam was trying to protect Dean as well. "Look, my whole life" I've loved you. He thought. "You took the wheel, you called the shots and I trust you, because your my brother now i'm asking you for once, trust me!" God how he wanted Dean to accept, to trust him. To let him protect Dean for once.

Dean wasn't having it though, as his head began to shake. A sigh escaped Sam before Dean spoke. "No, you don't know what your doing Sam." "Yes I do!" "Thats worse!" "Why? Look I'm telling you -" "Because its not something your doing its what you are!" Dean shouted in rage. Hurt flitted across Sams face as his heart cracked more. "It means" But dean stopped. "What? No." Tears had already welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision and threatening to overflow. Dean swallowed heavily as he continued to stare at Sam, his Sammy."Say it." "It means your a monster" Sam nodded, looking away as his jaw clenched.

"Samuel!" Sam jerked and glanced...up? Castiel was squatted down next to him, and Sam had some how ended up on the ground. "What happened?" He whispered, rubbing his eyes. "You fainted...I think it's time you got back to the motel." Castiel replied, pulling Sam up and helping him into the Impala. However as he tried to shut the door Sams hand grasped his trench coat. "Cas?" Sam said quietly. "Yea?" Castiel replied, not bothering to free his coat from Sams grip. "Get Dean back, please?" Sams voice broke on the last word, and Castiel nodded "I'm getting closer." Sam nodded and closed the door, starting the Impala and heading back to the Motel room.

The next morning Sam woke up with his head pounding, he'd had several beers before he even headed out to the bar. Groaning he rolled over in the bed and blindly reached for the aspirin and water on the night stand. Opening the bottle he grabbed eight of the pills and popped them in his mouth before draining the glass of water. He continued to lay there for several minutes, before the tell tale flutter of wings alerted him to Castiels presence. "What now Castiel?" He groaned out, his arm across his eyes as he waited for relief. "You need to get up and shower Samuel, and eat." Castiel replied. This wasn't the first time the Angel had come and demanded that Sam shower and eat, and he normally did so to humor Castiel but today he didn't want to get up.

"Later." Sam replied lazily, rolling to face away from the Angel. "Sam, I know you don't want to get up but you have to. I'll have a surprise for you later...and you need to be groomed and fed for it." Now this was a first, this got his attention. Sam pulled the covers back and sat up in the bed, blearily looking over at the angel. "Fine fine." Sam extracted himself from the bed, and moved towards his duffle bag and began to dig through it before pulling out the last clean clothes he had. Walking into the bathroom Castiel waited until he heard the shower, before he left to get his friend some food.

Thirty minutes later Sam emerged clean and fresh, to find Castiel sitting on the end of his bed with a ceasar Salad, toast, and Orange Juice for him. "Thanks Cas." Sam whispered as he moved towards the bed. He knew that the Angel was trying his best, and that taking care of Sam on top of everything else was trying for the Angel. He knew he shouldn't be wallowing, and that he'd lost a lot of weight...more so then he thought if the shocked look that crossed the usual stoic angels face was anything to go by. "It's no problem, Samuel. Though do try and eat all of it?" Castiel asked as he handed Sam his meal as he sank down onto the bed. Castiel smiled slightly at his friend before he stood and moved to stand near the wall. Sam was used to the Angels odd behavior, like preferring to stand instead of sitting and such. He opened the salad and covered it with his favorite dressing before stabbing a piece of lettuce and slowly chewing it once it was placed in his mouth.

Castiel smirked at this and shook his head, it was the same every time. Sam would make sure to exaggerate every piece he ate, to show he ate it. It always amused and saddened Castiel, amused because it was funny to see the more mature Winchester acting like a spoiled kid not getting their way, Sad because of how much weight Sam had lost during these months, and he knew that Dean would not be pleased when he was brought back with Sam the way he was. He just hoped that Sam wasn't so far gone, that even Deans presence couldn't turn the man around...he knew how much they relied on each other, after everything else that'd happened.

Once Sam was finished with his breakfast – what he could eat of it – Castiel threw the rest away and then grabbed a blindfold. "Ah blindfold eh? Who ever knew you had kinks Cas." Sam commented as Castiel tied it on and made sure he couldn't see. Castiel didn't reply except for an amused snort, before he moved away from the bed. "Stay." He ordered, and with a flutter of wings disappeared. He appeared before Dean, who stared at him with a grin plastered across his face. "Can I go to Sammy now?" He asked, practically bouncing up and down where he stood. "Yea..But Dean I should warn you." "About?" Castiel sighed. "Sams not the...same as he was before." "What do you mean?...Cas? Whats wrong tell me please?" Castiel shook his head. "You'll see." Was all he said before grabbing Deans arm and only letting go when they reappeared before Sam. Dean gasped as he stood, staring at a blindfolded Sam...but this Sam was skin and bones.

Dean didn't wait for a reaction, when he saw his Sammy looking like a skeleton he was pissed and happy, he crossed the distance between them and pulled off the blindfold only seconds before crushing his lips against Sams. Sam gasped at the sudden assault, and Dean took advantage, plunging his tongue into Sams mouth and searching out every inch... Sam didn't respond at first, but as soon as his senses clicked that this was Dean he threw his arms around Deans neck and fell backwards pulling his brother down on top of him as he sighed and moaned into the kiss. Dean barely had time to brace himself when Sam pulled him down, and as his tongue caressed his brothers, and heard his brothers moan. He had missed this, missed his Sammy but all too soon in Deans opinion the need for oxygen became to much and he reluctantly broke this kiss, but he didn't move away. Instead his lips moved down over Sams jaw and down his neck, nipping and soothing the skin as he moved. Castiel who had been standing there the whole time, trying to see if they'd stop on their own cleared his throat when Dean began to strip Sam of his shirt.

Dean shifted his weight, not breaking any contact with his brother to hold up one hand...well one finger towards their angel friend which caused Castiel to roll his eyes. "Dean. Sam." He tried again and succeeded though was rewarded for his efforts with identical death glares. "Shoo fly." Dean grumbled before turning his affections back to his brother who moaned and eyes fluttered shut. "De..Gods...We need to talk...he's right." Dean tensed and huffed before rolling off of Sam and shot another glare at Castiel, because this whole stopping thing was HIS fault.

Castiel just stared blankly back at Dean which caused Sam to smirk because he knew that Castiel would win any stubborn stare down Dean was trying to have. Sitting up Sam leaned into his brothers side, head resting against the top of Deans. This of course reminded Dean about his brother being a walking, talking, and breathing skeleton. Turning his attention to Sam he raised one of his eyebrows. "Why can I feel every single rib you have, as well as your Spine Sam?" He asked in a deadpan tone.

Castiel took this as his que, and angeled out of the room after receiving a grateful smile from Sam. Sam had the decency to look ashamed, even if only slightly. "I missed you...you are my reason for living and while I had Castiel trying to find a way to get you back...I didn't have the urge to eat. I was hunting...and drinking...and I was alone...you promised me you'd stay with me and you left me De...I wanted my brother...my lover...I didn't want to be alone..." Sam replied, ending in a whisper with tears streaming down his face.

Dean stared at his brother before leaning towards Sam, one of his hands cupping his brothers face and brushing the tears away. "You're going to eat now, right?" He asked sternly. Only after Sam nodded, did he lean the rest of the way in and press a kiss to his brothers lips, pulling away only long enough to say "Good, Because I just got you back. I don't want to lose you. I'll kick your ass if you don't." Before they both collapsed back onto the bed.


A/N: So, What do ya'll think for the start of Because You Loved Me. It is the sequel to 'Forever United'. I'll have the next chapter up ASAP. Reviews give me muse, so R&R with opinions or things ya want to happen to the boys.