This is only my second fanfiction so please be nice if you comment.

This story centres on Gretchen. She expresses in her diary how she would like to be free from Regina's control. Meant to written after her big confession to Cady. Oneshot. Please R&R.

Contains some mild language and sexual references.

I do not own Mean Girls.

My True Self

Dear diary,

Oh my God, I totally snapped today. All that jealousy I felt towards Cady, I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought I was going to self-destruct when I had to read my Shakespeare essay to the class. And the next thing I knew, Cady was putting her arm around me, telling me everything would be ok and did I want to tell her anything. Suddenly, I didn't care about what she thought of me and sobbed my heart out as I told her all about how mean Regina really is. I couldn't wait to finally tell someone on my ban wearing hoop earrings! I'll never forget mom and dad's faces when I said that those gorgeous white gold hoops were "so last season…" to think that they're still in a box under my bed to stop me from looking at them! But Regina would tear them out my ears if she ever saw me wearing them. I just wish that I could dress my way one day and not have to worry about upstaging her.

And I told Cady about Shane Oman too! I knew I should never tell anyone that on pain of death but some secrets can only be kept for so long. After a while, either its been replaced with a new one or everyone's found out about it one way or another. I felt so guilty about betraying Regina but if she really wanted it to be kept a secret, she wouldn't tell anyone, right? I mean, she knows I'm the supply if gossip, what did she expect? Come to think of it, she expects a lot of things. Just for once, I'd loved to select an outfit from my closet that doesn't make me feel like a robot and think, ponytails are in fashion, I'll wear one all week! God, what is wrong with "so fetch!" Why can't she listen to my ideas for once, I might have something to say too, just for one moment I'd like my opinions respected AND BE MY OWN PERSON!

Even when I'm alone with Jason, I can't be myself. For him, I'm his chick who never says no and will always be waiting with open arms for when his on/off relationship with that slutty, scum-sucking ho-bag Taylor Weddell is over…Sure the sex is good, especially the make-up sex but once it's over, I feel empty again. I don't even know who the real me is. Oh well, at least I can confide in Cady now. I'm going to bed.

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