word count: 844

loosely based off of the poem if i die in a combat zone by hc palmer


eight

His bones ache, blood and sweat seep into his heavy armor, his eyes take the blunt of the harsh, morning sun.

"Today's not a day for war, is it?"

Itachi smiles loosely. Sasuke glances at him. Above the screams and clashing of swords, he lets out one, sorrowful chuckle.

"Is there ever a day for war?"

.

seven

The boy on his right laughs.

"What?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow. The battlefield is swamped with people, and in the center of it, the two stop.

He turns to look at him, his incandescent blue eyes showering him in a light he's never seen.

"Our generation wasn't lucky, huh?"

Yells, screams, the sound of bodies hitting the dirt ground. Sasuke soaks them in and hates the way they stir inside of him.

He doesn't respond because he shouldn't be caught talking to the enemy. But the boy laughs for him, and it is buried beneath the ache of war as he mingles into the bodies that surround him, turning into a mystery.

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six

The few breaks he finds, he sits beside Itachi and Shisui, listening.

"Things weren't like this when we were kids, were they, 'Tachi?" Shisui grimaces at the traces of dirt in the canteen, but glances at Itachi.

Itachi shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the kunai he sharpens.

Shisui swirls the water in the canteen, staring into the dark hole with a reminiscent, remorseful look in his eyes. His voice softens as if he says it to himself.

"Things weren't like this at all."

.

five

Someone dies in front of him.

Maybe more have. But this one shakes him.

The calmness in the eyes – the acceptance of their fate. They're younger than Sasuke. So much younger.

He looks them in the eyes and they look at him back. They don't say anything. Nothing needs to be said. It's all in the gaze.

The small snack Sasuke had two hours earlier comes back up like a rush and tears follow suit. He pretends they are the result of his throbbing raw throat.

.

four

The blue-eyed boy passes him later, much later.

They don't talk, but he winks. An acknowledging wink. He's covered in dirt and sweat and the brim of his eyes are so dark but he manages a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

Sasuke wonders if they'd have been friends if war hadn't come along.

He seems quirky, friendly. Something Sasuke is not.

He imagines how their lives would've coexisted. If something amazing would've come out of it.

He wonders these things as he charges through a crowd. Through the spaces. Through the bodies that form around him, but never collide.

.

three

He screams.

Because his voice is shrouded by other voices full of much more dismay and sorrow than his is.

Because he needs to be heard, even if it's only be one person.

No one stops. His lungs feel like they will burst and he hasn't completely gotten over the rawness in his throat but his scream pierces the sky and he doesn't stop until he's lightheaded and dizzy.

He doesn't ever want to stop.

.

two

For the last time, they meet.

"Inevitable, huh?" The blue-eyed boy wipes dirt and blood off his cheek with the back of his hand. "I thought we'd never have to face each other like this."

Sasuke's swords drip with blood – blood of too many people, too many lives.

The boy pulls kunai from his back pockets. The look in his eyes are too sad.

For almost a millisecond, the world ceases. Silence sweeps through them like waves and Sasuke focuses only on him.

He's the first to strike.

It's over as soon as it starts. And if Sasuke's honest, he can't tell you how many seconds it was. How many breaths he took. How fast his heartbeat raced or how hard it pounded in his chest. Before he has time to conclude what happened, his sword is weighed down with something material, heavy, alive, and they crumple to the ground together.

Half-smiling, voice buried beneath the rush of war, the boy murmurs, "Even like this, it was nice to meet you."

He doesn't want to know his name, Sasuke decides. The blue eyes become murky with waning life and the last few seconds he's still alive, still breathing, they spend gazing at each other.

Sasuke wonders if there could've been something much more than this.

.

one

War ends.

Shisui pulls Sasuke into a hug. Into a long hug. Into a hug Sasuke didn't think he needed until he's inhaling the scent of war.

His throat feels tight. The corners of his eyes sting.

All it takes is one it's okay, Sasuke, to push him over the edge.

Hot tears stream down his face, seep into the fabric of his cousin's clothes. His fingers dig into Shisui's back and his jawbone hurts from clenching his teeth and in all of the emotions that pile inside of him, overwhelming sadness is the one that stands out most.

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owari