Inspiration has just struck me with formidable strength.
Well, I'm not sure what I want to write about now. But I am sure of this: this two-page oneshot is about Lumpus and Slinkman.
At first I didn't even realize how I should start it off, but I had a pretty good idea, so I figure I should just roll on with what comes to mind.
Besides, the more I write, the better a writer I'll be, right?
Anyways, If you don't like SLASHES or partial SLASHES, then avoid reading this story or don't give me a bad review.
It isn't really much of a Slash story anyway.
….
Okay, maybe I was wrong. This is TOTALLY a slash story. Why do I even try to hide the fact that I want to?
The door to the Scoutmaster's cabin was roughly opened as a moose with a frustrated grunt stomped in. a plucky banana slug followed him inside.
"Dag-nabbit! How could let that ANNOYING runt ruin my chances again?" He snarled venomously as he violently moved straight towards his desk.
Slinkman only sighed in equal frustration as he took his own place just standing straight in front of Lumpus's well crafted wooden oak desk. Unlike Lumpus, Slinkman usually preferred to focus his anger or hate or any form stress by holding his Mr. Squishy plush doll; that, or he'd think about the positive highlights of his day, the kind that made him forget his anger. All the more reason he so deeply wanted to exit this mundane scene of angst.
Fumbling through the various "junk" straight in his desk drawer, Lumpus finally managed to pull out what he was looking for in a furious burst of rage. It was a huge punching bag that altogether was a perfect replication of Lumpus's most un-favorite camper and completely oblivious opponent, Lazlo.
With a furious grunt he slammed his fist as hard as he could straight into the fake big smiling Lazlo mouth.
"WHY… CAN'T… THAT… HAPPY… GO… LUCKY… NIN…COM… POOP… JUST… LEARN… HIS… PLACE?" Lumpus angrily ranted with each sudden pause before continuing his pull and push of punches on the Lazlo doll. Every time that Lumpus had to pull out the Lazlo figure on his desk, just even the sight of the unfazed, crazy Brazilian spider monkey made Lumpus get so angry, that he always made up a reason to hate Lazlo with every once of his being.
Standing off on the sidelines, all that Slinkman could do right now was nothing. What else could he have done? There was nothing he could have done, because the last time he thought about trying, his mind instantly ran a mental simulation of a worse case scenario: Lumpus throwing Slinkman out the window again.
That was just only one of the many things that made their thinning, barely stable relationship fly off the handle.
"Damn that stupid monkey!" he hissed under his breath, slamming his hand down as hard as he could on desk. But he quickly yelped in pain due to making violent contact with the wooden paneling. But in his fit of rage, it barely mattered. It barely fucking mattered.
Still, though he were on the opposite side of a barbed fence, Slinkman still said nothing. He watched his superior in a strange combination of pity and concern.
Though it wasn't the first time that Lumpus had his "episodes", Slinkman still had no clear way of dealing with him in his state, and left him to physically ebb the fury away. Lumpus never noticed when Slinkman left his office, much less noticed anything other than the storm of his rage subsiding, and the awkward silence following that gave him the time he needed to mull over his past actions.
But today was completely different.
In light of recent events, from Slinkman's point of view he summed it up like this:
That morning, by orders of Commander Hoo-hah, Lumpus had coincided with Ms. Doe to bring the Bean Scouts and the Squirrel Scouts to the tiptop peak of Snowy Mountain. Along the way, he scrutinized that Lumpus was trying to get closer to Ms. Doe. Typical. Lumpus always had a crush on Jane (that's her first name) since the very first time that he laid eyes on her. The real problem was trying to get her to notice him. Ms. Jane Doe was way to focused on trying to keep the scouts in order that she rarely seen that Lumpus was brutally suffering from the ever-so-common case of unrequited love. That wasn't the only problem. Lazlo made it no better for Lumpus with his endless barrage of inquiries, stating facts and being the all-around oblivious pest that Lumpus couldn't shake off. Worse, Jane threatened, though she didn't know why, that she wouldn't ride with Lumpus on the ski lift if he mistreated the bean scouts in the rude fashion she previous saw of him on the bus.
Which made Lumpus feel even angrier with Lazlo. But Lazlo didn't cause that to happen. No, Lumpus was a regular- all time bossy, incredibly stupid jerk.
So why was it that he of all people would end up rescuing all the bean scouts and the squirrel scouts off the mountain? Slinkman didn't understand that.
That was just impossible.
But he did understand what happened afterwards.
Jane, impressed with Lumpus's "heroic deed", graced him with the honor of sitting with him. Unfortunately, he was so scared that he gripped the ski lift seat that sled all the way down the mountain so hard, that his hands were welded to it.
And, to Lumpus's misfortune, Jane told him it was too late. She was going to sit with Lazlo, which made him twice as angry. Of course, for Lazlo's safety, Slinkman had to leave Lumpus there, otherwise Lumpus, un-welded, and just as angry as ever would have wrung Lazlo's neck.
So, Lumpus by unfortunate coincidence had to stay up on the snowy mountain for another 8 hours before Slinkman came back. Of course, by that time, it began to rain, and Slinkman was feeling just plain glum.
That in a nutshell was what led to what Slinkman called, the "Anger management sitcoms of Lumpus".
Still, it wasn't a big deal, really. This sort of thing happened a lot; If Slinkman had a nickel every time Lumpus really did something wrong, he'd be rich.
To each their own; Slinkman knew his place in the world, and Lumpus had his. A place called idiot. It was none of his business.
At his desk, Lumpus had finally settled down in his fit of rage and cradled himself in his arms, resting his head on the desk surface. His legs swung woefully to and fro beneath, only hovering an inch above the façade of the wooden floor. With the way he did this, you'd think he'd realize his actions, bad and bad justified nothing for his existence. Which was ironic, because deeds, not words, can justify a beings' existence.
He didn't make a sound. The only sound that Slinkman heard was the pitter-patter of rain drops outside. Again, the scouts were already ordered to stay in their cabins when they came back from the mountain to Camp Kidney, so he didn't have anything to worry about. Wait. Why did he keep telling himself that?
Slinkman could've left, and would've because this now was the perfect opportunity. But what happened was that he stood there against the wall only a short distance away from his boss. For all the good it would've done, he remained silent.
Lumpus wearily lifted his head as if he had sensed Slinkman's presence still in the room. "You still here?" he dully questioned him as he rested his head on his shoulder.
"Sir…" he gave as a barely audible remark. He quietly stepped forward.
He would've reprimanded him for even getting this close to his personal space (truth was he had none), but he too depressed to care. "How ya been, Slinkman?"
It was at times like these that Slinkman got really nervous. When Lumpus had reached this rather sober slump of his personally stage, there was no telling what could happen. It didn't seem as normal a habit that befitted the grief-stricken moose.
Slinkman deeply wished he wouldn't say anything. And, he really didn't want him to. Or did he, since he wished for his thoughts to stop? He couldn't form words to describe whatever unnecessary feelings of misery he felt for him.
"Go ahead, Slinkman." He remained as he was. Sad, gloomy, and anything that matched the meaning behind those words. Though they meant the same thing, he found no other way to know Lumpus as well as he could from inside. It was strange, that after 7 years of working at Camp Kidney, he'd gotten to know his boss better. Instead, he never gotten close enough to understand his viewpoint, and if he did, Lumpus would only close himself away from everybody. But what did he mean by what he said?
"Just admit it, I'm a complete failure." A failure? The slug's heart melted; his only thought was to try and make him… happy? Something deep inside him was drowning in a sea of tears. "No, you're not." He choked in those same visible tears. Lumpus looked up at him in strange surprise.
"I'm not?" his eyes bulged out in surprise. "I couldn't get Ms. Doe to sit with me, I'm no good with telling children what's right and what's wrong, and I didn't even REALLY rescue those little hoodlums!" his head fell on his desk again with loud thump as he started to, from Slinkman's point of view, resort to sobbing.
Now, Slinkman didn't really know what should be and what shouldn't be said. But having to watch Lumpus mope on like that was starting to really grate his cheese. It had so aggravated him that he unexpectedly began to say, "Sir, do you want to go out with me to Prickly Pines for a drink at the bar or something?" When the words escaped his mouth, he suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth because that wasn't what he wanted to say. But it was too late. Lumpus was still moping; then maybe it wasn't that pointless after all. He asked him again. And when he did, he stopped sobbing and slowly raised his worn face to meet Slinkman's in confusion.
"Go out for a drink?" his one good eye twitched questioningly.
Sad, angry, or none, that twitch still creped the scoutmaster's assistant out to no ends. "Yeah, that's- that's what I said. You could drown out your sorrow in sparkling grape brewery. It in itself is supposed to be a cure for the heartbroken moose."
He stared at Slinkman like he came back from a Wedding Shower. But that didn't make any sense, since women, or in the case of their world, animal women go to animal women wedding showers. Lumpus wasn't very good at making a mental deliberation on the situation, be it good or bad, because he at the last minute would punctuate it with a very inappropriate or unnecessary turn of phrase that could hardly pass as a 'metaphor'.
Either way, he took his offer seriously and began to think. If he had a blank sheet in front of him, then he'd make a list of the pros and cons of going and not going, which was something that he wasn't very good at either. But nonetheless he thought about it deeply. Standing off on the sidelines, Slinkman waited in readiness for the prolonged, yet unnecessarily pre-mature answer.
"This isn't like a date or something, is it?" Slinkman both blushed and smirked with embarrassment. He had to hand it to his boss; he was master of stupid and random statements that both didn't yet did relate to the nature of their focus. But he wasn't sure why it suddenly deflated himself like a balloon on the inside when he told him no. Then Lumpus got down to thinking again, but not for very long. This was getting awkward.
Finally, when he decided it all right to get up, he turned to his smaller assistant with an indeterminable expression.
"Alright then, Slinkman, get on the bus and drive to Prickly Pines before the scouts get suspicious." He started walking towards the door, with irregular haste. Not even letting Slinkman get in a word about the exact day they should leave since this was obviously a bad day indeed to go to a bar, the woeful Banana slug scrutinized that Algonquin was 'partly' back to normal.
As for the strange feeling he felt deep inside his being earlier, he didn't want to even think about it, for fear that he could discover something he was not meant.
Well, that's about as much of a 1st chapter that I could do for today. There are two more, so be on the lookout for them. In the meantime, review, post, whatever. I shall get to work on chapter two right away, then afterwards, the third and final chapter.
Later.
