Author's Note:

Fanfiction Loyals:

Hey you guys! I'm knew to this site so I was kinda...dumb about writing my first fan fiction. Well I didn't have a good idea I just knew I wanted to write one. For anyone who actually liked it I have revamped it. It's pretty much the same The first 2 chapters are anyway. Anyway though, Essentially I wanted this to be a Sean and Emma story but I wanted to add more character plots so I have a few others but their plots will all end up tying in with Sean and Emma. Either way, since this is a Sean and Emma story, I wanted to maintain the feeling that I am trying to achieve so in order to make it a little different and interesting I decided that after every chapter there will be a connecting chapter that is just a poem from Sean and then one from Emma that sums up what they were feeling in that chapter. I hope you like this feel and please comment on it. Please, please comment they keep me going and any suggestions, ideas, or even criticsm are appreciated.

Jazzy Raveler

P.s. Like I said the first 2 chapters are pretty much the same but now they have Poem chapters connected after each one!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi...If I did Sean and Emma would be the main characters for every show.

The Long First Date GoodBye

Chapter 1

A Lot to Do in The Moon Light

Emma Nelson sat in the grass on the side of her darkened house. The moon lighting up her pale features and blonde hair with an enchanting almost eerie glow. She stared wide eyed into the nothingness as her tear streaked face whenced at every memory she held.

-Flash Back-

(Scene: A hallway in Degrassi High. Classmates; Sean Cameron, Emma Nelson, Toby Isaacs are standing face to face with another classmate. Rick.)

Rick is covered with yellow paint; due to a prank pulled on him by some of his fellow classmates. The straw that broke the camel's back for him when it came to being teased and tormented. Rick has always had violent tendencies; having put his girlfriend Terri into a coma-the cause for his tormentors resentment and need to hurt him-after pushing her and causing her head to hit a rock. But even now Emma, Sean, and Toby are in disbelief as they gaze down at what he's holding; a gun.

He's starts murmuring something; something about Emma making his list. Emma doesn't hear him; she sees Sean, though. He's walking towards Rick...slowly-trying to convince him not to shoot Emma. Emma catches her breath when Sean is finally standing directly in front of Rick. Rick has lowered the gun and Emma holds her breath waiting for what will happen next.

"It's too late" Rick says raising his gun and pointing it over Sean's shoulder and towards Emma.

Emma's mind at the time...

Gun pointing straight towards her Emma freezes trembling with fear and the earthshattering realization that these are her last moments. In a few seconds her life will be flashing before her eyes and she'd be on the floor, blood splattered on either side of her, gasping to get the words out with her last breath "I l-". Sean suddenly swipes the gun down and he and Rick are struggling when suddenly the gun fires and they both seem to go limp.

Emma couldn't hear. was she screaming? was Toby screaming? was Sean screaming? her ears blocked out everything. All she could hear, all she could feel, was her heart the pounding, sharpening, quickening, everything fell from her mind except Sean.

Their entire past flashed before her eyes and suddenly none of it mattered. Not sean pushing her when she tried to stop him from fighting, not Sean ditching her for his hateful best friend Jay, not even Sean stealing her dad's computer to hock even though he was sick with cancer. All that mattered was that she had so much more to say so much more of her soul to give to him. The relief that Emma felt when it was Rick who'd slumped and not Sean was both so much that she felt ashamed, and so strong that she felt the urge to run over and embrace Sean never again letting go.

Sean Hope Cameron had saved her life and endangered his own to do so. Emma knew that when the rest of their classmates found out, they would collectively feel the same thing that she felt at that moment: Sean still loved her. They could work it out...they would be together...they were in love. Emma had felt so relieved...so amazed about the way things had turned out. It had come back down to the 2 of them, as always: Emma and Sean.

And then Sean left.

Emma's Reality now

Emma could still feel the glare of the moonlight, even as she'd closed her eyes. It had been at least an hour, she thought, since she'd awakened with a start, from one of her many shooting/Sean/Rick induced nightmares. She'd been having them every night-that she actually allowed herself sleep- since the shooting. About a yr now. Some nights she just lay in her room staring up at the ceiling. The sounds of her best friend Manny Santos giggling or even talking in her sleep, no doubt dreaming of one of her current beaus-who was at this time Craig Manning, from the other side of the room didn't help much.

Some nights she'd just glare up at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes, and then ears, and overflowing onto her pillow as she swamped herself with the things she could've done to stop Rick from dying; Sean from leaving; everything, from falling apart. Other nights, she'd struggle through the night to escape her nightmares.

With school beginning in a few days the nightmares had become stronger and much more detailed. At first it had just been what if dreams: what if Sean was killed? What if she'd been killed? In the dreams where she'd died, she'd float through her house as a ghost, unable to touch or feel her mother, father, or her little brother, Jack. Unable to comfort them as they cried and struggled through grief. In the dreams of Sean dying she'd just be holding him in her lap crying over and over and shouting things that she'd forgotten to say to him...over his dead body.

On this particular Saturday night Emma hadn't eaten, just walked into her room, almost ghostlike, and lay in her bed. "No, thank you" she'd told Manny when she'd offered to bring her back a burger from "the dot"-the local restaurant that they often ate at- where she and Craig were headed at that moment. After Manny left, Emma'd spent the first part of the night talking to Peter Stone, her current un-Sean like boyfriend, as long as she could. Being that his mom was the principal of the school, it was very rare that Peter was able to stay up too late, so even though Emma had felt like crying tonight, she'd held it in laughing and talking with Peter about their first official dance together; "Degrassi's Back to School Dance".

After the phone call, Emma simply lay still in her bed until she, having managed to ward off sleep almost two weeks, quite reluctantly fell into a restless sleep; the dark of her eyes quickly escalating into a nightmare in which she raced through the school with the blood of Rick and Sean on her hands; others screaming at her "Killer! Killer!" When she'd awaken with a gasp, sweat pouring down her face, her hair tangled menacingly around her lanky shoulders, she'd sighed and screamed silently with relief. Emma climbed out of her basement room window and onto the small lawn that was for now her sanctuary.

Even now she could feel herself shaking, her teeth chattering in the cold night air. Just as she'd hoped the night air had provided some relief and she was able to clear her head of her most recent nightmare.

"Emma?" she heard suddenly in a hissing whisper and almost screamed for being so startled by the figure looming in front of her. She knew the tone of the voice and the shape of the face even in the darkness and said with a relieved sigh "Manny Santos! What on earth are you doing getting in this late!" Manny offered a barely visible menacing grin "What do you think, Em?" She said with a sharp note of the ever present sarcasm dripping from her words. Emma decided it best not to think on it and instead stood up dusting off the back of her badge shorts and pink tank top.

"Come on. We better get in before the parents stumble out here in total parental meltdown mold." Emma said as she turned away from her friend, about to slip back into the window. Manny grabbed Emma's shoulder, turning Emma around to face her. Manny was almost at eye level with Emma- because she was wearing her high-heeled strappy sandals-and even in the dark Emma could see that Manny was trying to study her face. Trying to find some sign of the worry that was almost always-at least most recently-expected in Emma's look.

"Have you been to sleep tonight Em?" Manny asked tilting her brown hair skeptically to the side. She had been worried about Emma lately noticing the increasingly purple bags under her eyes. Also, the fact that Emma had not been eating worried her; having helped Emma conquer a stress induced bout of anorexia only a few months earlier, she didn't know if she could handle another eating disorder and vowed to prevent one.

"Manny," Emma whined bouncing up and down like a child. "I'm fine. But, I am also cold, tired, and..." Emma searched for the words to satisfy her friend in her worried brown eyes, "I am so hungggryyy!" Manny's face melted from skeptical into a bright smile and she squealed. "Okay! Let's get inside and attack the fridge! it's been a while since we had a full fledged girl talk. I have so much to tell! " Manny pushed ahead of her friend and slid down into the window racing to put down her purse and kick off her heels. "I'll get the ice cream!" she called to Emma as she raced up the stairs.

Emma's smile had vanished with Manny and as she slid down into the window she glanced up at the moon, one last tear sweeping down her cheek as she said the words she'd said oh so often to herself, though no one else ever heard "God, please help me."

Scene Change (a dark street no lights; a single gray car inches to a stop):

The small gray car crept into the driveway that had once been Ellie Nash and Sean Cameron's and was now only Ellie's. A dark figure stepped out of the car. The figure stared at the apartment and after what seemed a shudder almost, climbed back into the car and drove a little way down the street. Parking in an empty lot, the guy leaned back the seat. "I'll start tomorrow." he said as he lay back in the seat staring up into the moonlight. Then he closed his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. "I've got a lot to do."