A/N: I was lying awake last night listening to my music when this story occurred to me. I was worried I'd forget it but when I woke up it was still in my head. There was another one but it's gone. Oh well.

Disclaimer: The characters are JK's and the song is All You Wanted by Michelle Branch

OOOOOO

I used to wish I was more like him. Everyone loved him, me included. He could get any girl he wanted, not that he often exercised that power, and not that I wanted the girls. Boys are more my type. So apart from the whole gay thing, I wanted to be more like him. He's clever, even though he won't show it to anyone but me.

I used to spend so much time trying to be like Sirius and it wasn't for months, maybe a whole year, that I realised I was in love with him. That was possibly the best and worst moment of my life, knowing that I would do anything for Sirius, just to make him smile.

I wanted to be like you,

I wanted everything,

So I tried to be like you,

And I got swept away

I remember the first time I saw Sirius cry. It was a heart breaking sight. One night, when everyone else was asleep I heard him, a soft sniffling in the bed next to mine. Before I knew it I was drawing back his hangings and wrapping him in a tight hug. He sobbed into my shoulder, telling me all the horrible things about his family, how much he hated them, how much they hated him, every horrid thing they'd ever done to him.

I promised that night that if he ever needed anywhere to go to get away from them that he could always come to mine. That I'd always be there for him no matter what and, though he didn't know I was promising that, that I'd always love him. But he can never know, I can't risk losing my greatest friend. I can't risk change. I can't lose him.

I don't know that it was so cold,

And you needed someone to show you the way,

So I took your hand and we figured out that,

When the tide comes I'd take you away

There's something about Remus that is so vulnerable, so innocent, so pure. Sometimes I wish he wasn't. Then I wouldn't feel so bad about loving him. Because I'm not pure and I would corrupt him.

Not that he believes he isn't corrupted. He thinks that the Wolf makes him evil. He's wrong it makes him even more perfect to me. Every moon I just want to find a way to make it stop. To save him from himself. But I doubt he's let me even if I found a way to make him feel better. He shuts me out after every transformation. He needs someone to hold him and make him feel better, but he won't let it be me. He won't let me get too close.

Sometimes I wonder if he knows how I feel and is trying to keep away from me. Sometime I wonder if he hates me.

If you want to, I can save you,

I can take you away from here,

So lonely inside, so busy out there,

And all you wanted was somebody who cared,

Every day I fall more and more in love with him and all I want is for him to hold me tight and tell me that he loves me. But he never will because I'll never tell him how I feel. I'm too much of a coward. Too scared about losing our small friendship. The one connection I have with him.

Sometimes he gets these really distant expressions on his face and he just stares at something. Normally me, though he's not seeing me. The look on his face tells me it's some girl he's thinking of. I wish I knew who she was so I could try and be more like her. To be what Remus wants.

I'm sinking slowly, so hurry hold me,

Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on,

Please can you tell me so I can finally see,

Where you go when you're gone

Sometimes I wish I could be closer to him, so I knew what he was feeling and thinking but I'm as close as I dare get because I love him so much and I can't lose him. And it's tearing me apart. Every day. Every single fucking second of every single bloody day. But it's as close as I dare get because I can't lose him.

OOOOOO

This is not a one-shot okay. I could be, but it isn't. Keep your eyes peeled for more. If you REVIEW that is. :D

Tell me what you think so far. Please.