Hello readers!
And we meet again. So...I've been having this recurring dream lately and well, I've decided that it's probably a sign that I should probably write it down.
If you have already read my other stories, or scrolled through my favorites, you've probably noticed by now that I like writing and reading AU!fic and future!fic, and I do like butting in some angst while I'm at it too.
Things you should have in mind when reading this story:
-Blaine was one school year ahead of Kurt when he transferred to Dalton (I'm still not over the fact they announced Blaine as a Junior in s3).
-Practically canon until Special Education, except that Blaine and Kurt got together before Kurt transferred.
-Kurt remained at Dalton for his Senior year, not transferring back to McKinley.
-Blaine is majoring in Music with a minor in Acting at UCLA. Kurt is now a junior at Parsons, where he is majoring in Fashion Design, and an intern at Vogue.
And I think that's it. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. And if you are a fan of AU!fics and Future!fics, check out my other stories: "A Broadway Romance" and "A Second Chance at Love."
Follow me on twitter at juliiashih. I usually post updates on my writing schedule and other Glee related stuff on there.
》And I think that's it. On to the actual story now. Hope you enjoy!
Xoxo-Julia
DIsclaimer: I do not own Glee nor do I own anything you may recognize.
It was a warm, sunny, April late afternoon. Summer was just around the corner and the parks, trees, birds were bustling with life. The streets were full of pedestrians of all type, a few tourists, businessmen, and ordinary people walking up and down the streets, each having their own stuff to do. Among the crowd was one Kurt Hummel, fashion design major at Parsons and fashion intern at Vogue, working under the great and respected by all in the fashion world, Isabelle Wright. Kurt hoisted his satchel a bit higher on his shoulder as he proceeded to walk down the street, heading towards his favorite coffee shop, only two blocks away from his workplace. He had just left Vogue's buildings, and was heading home for the day, but not before grabbing a cup of grande non-fat mocha.
As he waited in line to order his usual - the shop was packed, not an unatural occurance seeing that it was nearing the end of working hours - he took the time to think about his life.
He had been pleasantly surprised during his years living in the big city. After suffering through most of his Freshmen and Sophomore years at High School, with Glee Club being basically his only escape, he had met the person that would change his life early into his Junior year. He had met his boyfriend Blaine Anderson during a failed attempt at spying on their competition for Sectionals and the two had hit it off right away, having started dating not long after, and Blaine had been a crucial factor when Kurt decided that he had had enough of bullying and made the ultimate decision to transfer to Dalton.
His years at Dalton made him thrive and shaped him into the person he was now. When Blaine graduated at the end of his Junior year he thought it would be hard for him to stay at Dalton. But it wasn't. He had made great friends there, people who he now called his best friends for life. These guys, along with Blaine, made his transition from a public school kid to a private boarding school student a lot easier; and in the beginning of his senior year, Nick and Jeff - two of his closest friends that graduated alongside himself - brought normalcy into his daily routine, making his days without Blaine a lot easier to cope with.
The beginning of his Senior year was hard. He had gotten accustommed to having Blaine by his side always, since the day they met. It was the highlight of his days to go to a school he genuinely enjoyed, being surrounded by his friends who he could count on at all times, and being able to be with his boyfriend with no one sending judging glances, or worse, at him. Having to start a new school year, one that was sure to be intense what with all the college applications and graduation requirements he had to complete, without his boyfriend by his side, and said boyfriend being off to college in Los Angeles, California, had taken a toll on their relationship. The first couple of months were hard on them both. Despite spending their anniversary weekend together, which Blaine had flown down to Ohio for, their busy schedules were hard to allign, Skype dates often being canceled or reescheduled, phone calls cut short, a few random texts thrown in between their various activities and emails practically nonexistent. But, despite all these obstacles, they both worked hard to keep their relationship strong, and they soon established a pattern, with both sides making sacrifices, and they made it work. They made it successfully through the rest of Kurt's Senior year at Dalton, with a few fights having arisen now and then but not escalating too far, and Blaine flew in for his boyfriend's graduation - but the real challenge was yet to come.
Kurt was interrupted from his thoughts at that moment by the barista asking for his order. He shook the thoughts away for a moment and quickly placed his coffee order and stepped aside waiting for his name to be called. His order was soon ready and he thanked the barista before making his way to a corner table. He wasn't exactly keen in returning home yet, and he had some time to spare. He let his thoughts wander again to his first year in college.
When he applied for college he applied to colleges in both East and West coasts. His dream had always been New York, but that had changed a little once Blaine was accepted, and consequently went, to UCLA. But he still applied to colleges in both states. His acceptance letter to the fashion program at UCLA came first, which made him and Blaine overjoyed. But once he got back a positive response from Parsons, in New York, he knew there was no question as to where he was headed. It was a hard decision to make. Being literally across the country from his boyfriend and having at least three more years of long distance relationship ahead of them wasn't something they were exactly thrilled about. But in the other hand, New York was his dream, and he had been accepted into his dream school. He couldn't not go.
A lot of tears had been shed by both him and Blaine when they had the talk about Kurt heading to New York for college and what was in store for them as a couple. Blaine had been extremely understanding when Kurt explained to him that while he would love going to UCLA and being at college with Blaine, he couldn't turn down Parsons, and encouraged Kurt to chase his dream and do what was best for him. His future was in line, and the best for him and his career in the long run, they both agreed, was New York. After thoroughly talking everything through, analysing every option they had they came to the mutual decision that come the start of the school year they would break up. Neither wanted to deal with long distance realtionship for another three years at least, and neither thought they would be able to handle it; Kurt's Senior year had been hard enough, and they knew it would be a lot more difficult to maintain their relationship with them both being at college. Wanting to be sure they'd part in a good note, instead of doing something that could make one resent the other forever, they decided on a clean, mutual break up.
They spent every last moment of their summer break, between Blaine's Freshmen and Sophomore years and before the start of Kurt's Freshmen year, together, enjoying what little time they had left, knowing that with the start of the school year again, they would no longer be a couple. Their days were filled with laughter, both wanting to make the best of their time left and good memories to remember by. The day they had to part finally arrived, and as expected more tears were shed, both promising to maintain their friendship intact and to contact one another whenever possible; promises easier to make than to be kept.
The first months after their breakup were spent with each concentrating on their own work and trying to adjust their days so it would not involve the other. Despite the promises they had made, they both spent the first semester kind of avoiding the other, practically no contact had been made. They both avoided social media like the plague, not wanting to see the updates in each other's lives, afraid to log on and see that the other had indeed moved on. Despite being months since the break up, and having had a mutual break up, come Christmas it was still painful for them both to hear the other's name. During Christmas and their winter break they were both back in Ohio along with a few other friends for Dalton. They met up at the first gathering they had organized and time stilled. Suddenly, just by seeing the other for the first time since their breakup, they seemed to realize that it had all been down for nothing. All the pain and emptiness and the feeling of just not beeing complete flew out the window the moment their eyes found each other. They were suddenly complete again.
That night they got along like old times. Their friends had been a bit weary at first, not knowing how to talk to them both now that they weren't together. But they soon realized that they had nothing to worry about. Both Kurt and Blaine interacted with everyone else, and each other, like old times, joking around and talking about the old times like nothing had changed. In fact, nothing had really changed. They were all a tight knit of friends, except that two of them that used to be together weren't anymore, officially. It was then that, after talking alone with each other, catching up with what was going on in each other's lives, Kurt and Blaine decided to meet up sometime during the break to talk some stuff out. It was clear to them both that there was still something there between them, and that they were both content with life, but not happy.
Kurt was brought back from the past by the shrill ringing of his phone signaling an incoming call. Taking a look at his cup and realizing his coffee was long finished he picked his stuff and answered the phone while making his way out the door, heading back towards his condo.
"Hello?"
"Kurt! Where are you?" Came Nick's voice from the phone.
"I'm on my way home. Stopped for a cup of coffee and guess I lost track of time." He admitted sheepishly.
"Hurry home, man. We have some visitors." With that Nick ended the call abruptly, leaving the statement hanging. Kurt hurried his pace towards the subway and frowned down at the black screen of his phone before pocketing it and shaking his head at his best friend's antics as he reached the subway entrance.
When he moved to New York, his best friend, Nick, had moved with him, studying pre-law at NYU. Jeff, his other best friend and Nick's boyfriend was going to Harvard and the two had successfully remained together, still going strong after four years together. David, another former Warbler and one of Blaine's best friends had already moved to New York the year before them, living in the dorms at Columbia. The three of them - Kurt, Nick and David, then decided to move in together when the first two moved to New York, and quickly found a three bedroom condo where they still lived.
Kurt smiled fondly as he recalled endless memories of them living together. He had never become that close with David during his Dalton years, but since they started living together the former Warbler council-member had quickly become one of his best friends. The group of friends, which also included Wes, who like Jeff attended Harvard, were incredibly close, not letting college get in the way of their friendship. Blaine was the only one that had moved to the West coast, and even he managed to maintain good contact with them.
Speaking of Blaine, Kurt's thoughts again were drawn back to the curly-haired man. After meeting again during his Freshmen year winter break, they agreed to meet up only the two of them to talk. They realized they were, not miserable but not happy either, without each other but they were both still hesitant about the fact that they would have to do long distance. So they agreed that while feelings were still unquestionably there, they wouldn't jump back into anything either, but they would try to restore their friendship, making an effort to talk as often as possible and not ignore the other. Something neither could deny was how much one missed the other's friendship.
And so they still were, to this day. During the following two years they remained close - some would say best - friends, sharing tales of their lives, but never getting back together, much to the frustration of their mutual friends who still didn't understand how they weren't together. They constantly talked on the phone, told each other everything, called each other by cute nicknames, and occasionally ended their conversations with the fated "I love you". Not to say that whenever one visited theb other they'd end up sleeping, fully clothed, in the same bed together. They were a couple in all aspects except that they wouldn't call themselves boyfriends and they both dated other people during their time apart.
Kurt had now reached his subway destination and quickly walked the few blocks back to his apartment, wondering who would be visiting. Probably Jeff he thought, seeing that Jeff had a couple of off days at school and took any opportunity to visit his boyfriend and friends.
As he neared the door to their shared apartment he could hear voices inside that he quickly identified as being Nick, David, Jeff - so he was right with his assumption - Wes - probably visiting with Jeff he thought - and Blaine. He stopped and took a double take. Wait, Blaine? He then proceeded to open the door and walk into the living as rapidly as he could without looking surprised and found all the guys, including Blaine, sittiing on the couch and floor chatting joyously. Jeff was the first to notice his presence.
"Kurt! Finally, man! We've been waiting for you forever." Kurt was then engulfed in a bone-crushing hug from the platinum blond haired man, which he wholeheartedly returned.
"Sorry Jeff. I got caught up with some things. I'm sure Nick and David have been able to keep you three company though." He smirked at the blond and looked over his shoulder at where Wes and Blaine were now standing waiting for their turn to greet the counternor. "Hey Wes, hey Blaine." He added while releasing his hold on Jeff and promptly accepting Wes' hug. "I missed you guys, it's been too long."
Wes smirked. "It's been two weeks, Kurt. But I've missed you too." The two held each other for a moment before Wes let Kurt go and he turned towards his best friend, who he hasn't seen in months.
Blaine smiled at him and opened his arms for a hug, to which Kurt gladly fell into. They held each other tightly, it wasn't easy beig away from your best friend for months, and they both made the most of the time they spent in each other's company.
"What are you doing here? I missed you so much." Kurt whispered into Blaine's curls, still clinging tightly to him.
Blaine squeezed him one last time before leaning back to smile at him. "I have an announcement to make and wanted all of you to be present. And I missed you too, Kurt. I need my best friend."
Kurt lifted a questioning eyebrow, eyes filled with curiosity and stepped back, arms falling back at his sides. Blaine smiled once more at him and turned towards the rest of their friends.
"Well...I have some good news, at least I think it's good news and it didn't feel right sharing them through Skype."
Nick and Jeff looked at Blaine with expectant expressions, Wes and David had equal curious - yet concerned - expressions on their faces while Kurt looked curious and a bit worried.
"Well, after graduation, which I expect to see you all at, we decided that we are moving to New York! Ben and I both decided we want to try play gigs and all and try to get signed and we want to do that where our friends are."
Ben was Blaine's roomate during Freshmen year at UCLA and the two had moved in together into a two bedroom apartment the summer between Freshmen and Sophomore years. Besides the east coast gang, Ben was one of Blaine's closest friends. He and Kurt got along well, but there was always an underlying tension between them. Ben had helped Blaine after their breakup at the end of that same summer, making sure he ate and slept. They had both been a mess after their mutual breakup and while Kurt had Nick to lean on, Ben had been Blaine's shoulder to cry on. They dated for a few months during their Junior year, but parted ways amicably, both agreeing they'd never work out and remained good friends. Ben accepted that Blaine, though he had moved on, would never love anyone like he still loved Kurt and their brief relationship served to straighten their friendship bond. Kurt had known of their relationship, of course, but in an unspoken agreement between them, they'd never really spoke of relationships during their Skype catch-ups.
Everyone cheered loudly at this piece of news, their group would finally be complete again. Kurt forced out a smile and halfheartedly offered his rejoice in the news. Truth is, he wasn't thrilled with the news. He knew Ben still had feelings for Blaine and although they got along just fine the few times they had met, Ben was still someone who had feelings for his first boyfriend and the guy that still owned his heart.
Blaine noticed Kurt's less than thrilled reaction and looked at him with a bit of confusion and worry but quickly schooled his expression back to joy when Kurt caught his eye and let him know everything was okay.
The guys crowded around him asking him all sirt of questions that he answered while laughing.
"Okay! One question at a time! We are moving right after graduation, as soon as we sort everything out back home with the apartment and everything. We are thinking of finding an apartment nearby, I'd like to be close to you guys. And our initial plan is to sign up for gigs at bars and similar venues until we are either signed or offered some huge opportunity."
As Blaine spoke, the others were giving their own two cents, but Kurt remained silent and his face was set in a frown. He quietly excused himself to his room, causing the conversation to come into an abrupt halt, and was quickly followed by Nick who shot a look at Blaine when the latter tried to follow. Nick silently closed Kurt's bedroom door and turned to where Kurt was sitting on his bed staring at a frame in his hands. Nick sighed and walked over to his friend.
"Kurt?"
Nick was one of the few that knew exactly what Blaine still meant to Kurt. Of course everyone knew that they still cared for the other, they never tried to hide that. But while the others teased them occasionally, they thought that maybe they had in fact moved on and worked better as friends. But Nick knew the truth. He knew that Kurt had never stopped loving Blaine, and probably never would.
He watched his friend closely, taking in his hunched shoulders and the way his body was quivering slightly, a few sobs escaping and projecting through the otherwise silent room. He looked down at the frame Kurt was holding and saw it was a photo of him and Blaine, laughing in Central Park during one of the curly haired visits to New York.
"You two look great in that shot. You want to talk about whatever it is that is bothering you?" Nick sat at the edge of the bed next to his friend putting a hesitant arm around his shoulder. As soon as he did so, Kurt fell into them, body shaking and tears escaping his eyes freely. Nick ran a hand up and down his back, trying to calm him down.
"I can't do this Nick. I can't." He continued to sob into Nick's shirt and after a few minutes he calmed down enough to explain.
Nick was still patiently trying to calm him down, still holding him close, and whispering soft words of reassurance.
"It felt so real. I know they are not together, but they were together once upon a time, and the way Blaine talked – it seemed like they were a couple." Kurt hiccuped a few times, wiping away at his face, removing the remaining tears still making their way down his cheeks.
Nick gave him a sympathetic look and handed over a tissue. "But they are not, Kurt. They are just good friends who have the same ambition and happen to be roommates."
Kurt nodded. "I know. It's just that it hurts to hear him say something like that, with such implications. I still love him, Nick. That's why I've never really had a serious relationship since him."
"I know you still love him. Everyone knows how much you two still care for each other, but I know that it goes so much beyond caring. When you are together you still look at each other like one is the force keeping the other grounded. I know it's hard to think about him moving on, but it's been years Kurt."
"I know, I know Nick. It's been years, and we agreed that we wouldn't attempt a relationship again while we were in opposites sides of the country. It was hard enough during our Senior year. While I'm happy that we maintained our friendship, sometimes that hurts more than I think it would've if we parted ways and cut contact."
Nick sucked in a deep breath. That was news to him. As far as he knew, they were both happy to have remained best friends and they depended on each other for so much. Anyone could see that they were the happiest when they were together.
"Kurt? What do you mean?"
Kurt sighed and sat up. "He and I always made a point of being honest with each other, something that continued even after we broke up. He would always tell me whenever he started dating someone new, and I would do the same to him. I wouldn't change us for anything right now, he is one of my best friends, and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him, but sometimes I wonder what would it be like if we had cut contact completely. Every time he mentions a new boyfriend it hurt so much inside. It hurt when he told me he was dating Ben, and it did come as a shock to me at the time."
Nick nodded in understanding. "I see. And you wonder if there is ever a possibility of them getting together again?"
Kurt shook his head. "No. I know they won't get back together; Blaine assured me there is nothing there. But it's obvious Ben still has feelings for Blaine, and is kind of awkward being in the same room with the guy who has feelings or the same guy you still love, you know?"
The first time Kurt had visited Blaine after he and Ben broke up – he hadn't visited while they were together – was extremely awkward. Kurt and Ben didn't quite know how to navigate around the other, and there was the perpetual longing in Ben's eyes whenever he looked at Kurt and Blaine interacting with each other and the way Blaine's eyes shone around Kurt the way they never did around him. Ben and Kurt were cordial to each other, but the tension was there. To Ben, although he accepted that he and Blaine would never work out, Kurt was the guy who came between him and Blaine. Any relationship Blaine entered would always have a third person in it, unless Blaine got back together with Kurt. And that led Ben to kind of resent Kurt. To Kurt, it was just awkward talking to someone who was in love with the same person he was in love with.
Nick nodded. "You will have to get used to seeing them together once they move to New York though. Ben is one of Blaine's closest friends, and he will probably be hanging around us a lot after they move permanently here."
"Don't worry about that. I don't have any problem with Ben; it won't be an issue spending time with him. He is quite cool to be honest. Sorry for the breakdown before and thank you for being there, Nick."
Nick just pulled his friend into a hug, actions conveying everything he wanted to say.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Nick clearly contemplating how to ask something, until Kurt asked him what was going on in his mind.
"Please don't get mad at me, but I'm honestly curious. You don't have to answer." Kurt nodded for him to continue. "Why haven't you and Blaine gotten back together again? It's so obvious that you two still love each other dearly. And you were kids when you parted ways, maybe at the time it was the best decision to be made. But now? You are adults, you've seen what the world has to offer, yet neither of you had any serious relationship. And you are both more mature, you make your friendship work beautifully around both your schedules. I'm positive you guys could make it work, long distance I mean."
Kurt sighed. "It's complicated. We've talked about it, actually. That first time he came to visit after he and Ben broke up. But if we did get back together I admitted there would always be that hint of doubt in my head whenever he was away, living with Ben. I told him I didn't want it to become an issue and I didn't want him to choose between us. I still don't. So we decided to continue friends for now."
"But after the move?"
Kurt smiled slightly. "I don't know. Who knows? Only time will tell. Now come on, let's get back there before they send out a search party."
The two emerged from Kurt's room back into the living room where their friends were making light conversation. Blaine sent Kurt a concerned look but Kurt just shook his head, silently telling him he had nothing to worry about. That made Blaine relax a little, but he kept shooting concerned looks at Kurt and Nick every now and then. The group decided to go out to eat and after agreeing to walk to a nearby diner, they set out, Blaine and Kurt lingering behind.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asked as they rounded a corner.
Kurt smiled at him, sincerity shining in his eyes. "Nothing's wrong. Just had a memory flood back there. I told Nick about our talk last year."
Blaine looked confused before remembering what it was about. "You didn't seem very happy I'm moving here. I thought you'd be happier."
"I am, I want nothing more than to have you here, be able to see you few times a week instead of twice-three times a year."
"Then what's the problem?" Blaine looked adorably confused and Kurt had to giggle.
"Nothing; just the way you worded made me recall when you and Ben were together." Kurt needed say nothing more, that statement alone made Blaine nod understandingly.
"I'm moving here with him because he wants to try it as a musician here too. But we are only friends Kurt. That's what we will ever be. I told you last year. I still love you."
They stopped walking and turned to one another. Kurt remembered them standing in this position in various occasions back when they started dating, just to stare into each other's eyes, their teenage selves not believing they were actually dating the other.
"I love you too, B. But not yet, okay?" Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's cheek that the curly-haired man held it there and they stared at each other for some time still until Wes called them to hurry up. Blushing they tore their gazes apart, but remained close. Kurt slowly leaned in and placed a kiss on Blaine's flushed cheek, whispering. "Soon, B. Soon"
